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Inspired by Eulogies

11/23/2015

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                I have been writing eulogies and helping people write eulogies and officiating at funerals for over thirty years. I've loved every minute of it. I get the opportunity to talk to people intimately about a person they have loved and lost. Being let into those kinds of super-personal conversations is a sacred honor.
                But my eulogy writing interest was piqued when I attended a funeral a few months ago (someone else was officiating) and there, on a table, was a photo montage folder of the person who had died. The photos were scattered among a professionally written eulogy. I had never seen anything like it. It was wonderful. I took one and discovered that I couldn't even throw it away when I got home. It's still in my desk drawer. Throwing it out seems somehow sacrilegious. I talked with the funeral director and asked where it had come from. It seems there is a fairly new company in Michigan which produces these for member funeral homes (Life Story Network).
                I was so enthused about this service (I know, being "enthused" about a eulogy sounds a bit odd) that I wrote an article about it and eulogy writers in general. It hasn't been published yet (apparently I write better eulogies than magazine articles).
                In doing a bit of web searching for my article, I discovered that there are a number of professional eulogy writing services out there. Intriguing.... There were people out there doing professionally what I have decades of experience doing! The one that is clearly the leader in this unique niche market is Eulogy Consultants out of Austin, Texas.  Most of the others are either overseas or seem to be hobby writers. I decided to jump in and started The Eulogy Writers.
                I haven't been disappointed. I've only had half a dozen people who've wanted my services thus far, but each time I've found it incredibly rewarding. And people are beginning to find my site, it seems. If I can be of help writing a eulogy for a loved one, I am more than happy to do so - I am honored.



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Today's Sorrow

11/9/2015

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A friend died today. I haven't seen him nor talked to him in twenty years. Yet I loved him. To call Tom Witzel a "friend" is probably not entirely accurate. He was not a friend, he was my mentor - my inspiration - my "man most admired" - one to whom I wanted to prove myself and make proud.

I met Tom in college. He was the minister at a Congregational church (at the time I had never even heard of "Congregational") in Bowling Green, Ohio. A couple of us attended his church because we saw a note on a bulletin board offering rides. We didn't have a car, so gave the lady a call. That call - that ride - that church - that Sunday morning - changed our lives (I speak for others freely because I know it to be true). Tom spoke of a freedom in Christ in such a way that it seemed new to us. I think I knew that morning that I wanted to be a minister of some kind. I wanted to excite and inspire as Tom had me... I have fallen short, I'm afraid. There is only one "Tom."

Tom Witzel never disappointed me. I know for a fact, from things others have said, that he wasn't perfect. But to me he was. I never left his presence without feeling that I had been drawn closer to God. I was honored when he officiated at our wedding. Tom believed in me enough that he somehow convinced his church in New Jersey to financially assist me through seminary (he was gone from Bowling Green by then).

I wrote Tom a letter before he died. I needed to express to him (again) how much he meant to me in my life. I needed to tell him that me being here (pastor at one church for thirty three years), ministering to God's people, was largely his doing (and God's, of course).

I shall see Tom again. That is the Christian hope. Yet, today, tears flow freely.


Tags: Witzel, eulogy, mentor.

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Preparing for the Inevitable

11/5/2015

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Everyone dies. Of that there is no question. For some there is no warning. It just happens and shocks everyone. But for many, death is clearly in the wings and will make its appearance in the not-to-distant future. For those of us who like to have everything in order in our lives, planning for that day for ourselves or our loved ones is not a bad idea. In fact, for many reasons pre-planning a funeral is a very good idea. When we make preparations in advance we are able to make important decisions on a less emotional basis and then rest in the knowledge that everything you want will actually happen.

Today I'd like to talk about the nuts and bolts of funeral planning itself. In the future we'll discuss the actual funeral service and the eulogy and the etiquette of funeral home visitation and hosting. Today - how to get ready to die - - or how to prepare for a loved ones demise.
Many funeral homes offer a variety of “packages” for different kinds of funerals. When you arrange for a funeral, you have the legal right to buy each of the items included in their packages  separately. In other words, if they offer something in their package that you don't want, there is no need to pay for it. Here are a few tips in dealing with the funeral home:
  • Compare Funeral Home Offerings. This is the best reason for planning ahead. You don't need to make snap decisions. Compare prices from at least two funeral homes. Walking into the place in no way obligates you to use their services. As you shop and find out what each offers, remember that you can supply your own casket or urn. Interestingly, you can purchase such things at Costco and other retailers. You don't have to take what is in the funeral home showroom. Time is NOT of essence, so you can get what you want and probably save a fair amount of money.
  • Request a price list. The law requires funeral homes to give you written price lists for products and services. If they won't, walk away. They are trying to take advantage of you.
  • Resist pressure to buy things you don't really want or need. The casket is going to be buried in the ground. Whether it is it is made of platinum or pine makes no difference in a very short time. A "water proof" vault will eventually take on ground water so, if not required by law in your locale, it is a wasted of money. "Earth to earth and dust to dust" takes place no matter how elaborate we might get. It's not necessary to have the fanciest casket or the most elaborate funeral to properly honor a loved one.
  • Google your rights - know the law. Laws regarding funerals and burials vary from state to state. It's a smart move to know which goods or services the law requires you to purchase and which are optional. Do an internet search on "Funeral laws in (your state)"
  • Apply shopping techniques. You can cut costs significantly by limiting the viewing/wake to one day or even one hour before the funeral. Also dressing your loved one in favorite clothes instead of costly burial clothing makes sense.
  • Talk about the plan.  Shopping for funeral home services in advance allows you to comparison shop without time constraints, creates an opportunity for family discussion, and lifts some of the burden from the family.

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     Steve Schafer has written hundreds of eulogies. He has been a minister for over thirty five years. He believes that every person deserves to have their life story told in a sensitive, thorough, and wonderful way.

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The Eulogy Writers
4100 Old Dominion Dr.
West Bloomfield, MI  48323

Your writers: Steve Schafer or Ralph DiBiasio-Snyder
Steve's Personal Cell Phone: (734) 846-3072
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