It’s easy to substitute traditional religious practices with secular alternatives to create a non-religious funeral or memorial service that are just as meaningful. While the specifics depend on the individual, most non-religious funerals follow the same basic order as a religious one.
 
The Order of a Non-Religious Funeral
The funeral service will be divided into three main parts: Transition and Introduction. Funeral Wake (seeing the deceased one last time). The final service.
Begin by introducing the deceased and telling their story. You might read a passage, share a favorite memory or favorite song, or perhaps someone will say a few words about your loved one. The focus here is on celebrating who your loved one was as a person and honoring their life. At a non-religious funeral, it’s also not uncommon to have an officiant (such as a minister, rabbi, priest, etc.) or eulogist (such as a rabbi, pastor, or another priest) who gives a short meditation about death and life and dying. It’s also not uncommon to have a traditional eulogy delivered by a friend or family member of the deceased.
 
Understand What's Happening
Religious funerals are typically more planned than non-religious funerals. The Christian funeral director performs a brief service before the casket is taken to the gravesite for a religious service. Depending on the religion, there will be time for viewing the body, a meal, a brief sermon, a eulogy, and a procession to the gravesite. The same is usually true for Jewish funerals, Islamic funerals, and Buddhist funerals. However, it’s not all about showing up and participating in services. The thing is, if you show up at a funeral and that’s it, you haven’t paid attention. As a non-religious funeral attendee, you’re asked to do a few things during your time with the deceased.
 
Create Memories
One of the first steps in creating a non-religious funeral or memorial service is to take a step back and remember the life of the person being memorialized. Don’t make it a futile exercise — this is important. Start with their family members. Listen to the memories they’ve shared. Say thank you for letting you into their lives. Celebrate what the deceased has done and who they’ve been. Let them be the first to say goodbye. It’s important that the deceased is remembered as they were in life — not as a symbol of the person they are buried as. If you are reading this as someone died, what would you like people to remember you by? No Religious Test Many people assume that a person who doesn’t believe in an afterlife can’t really care about those who do.
 
Say Goodbye
The idea of a funeral generally consists of five steps. Step one is, of course, saying goodbye. Even funeral directors and morticians make this their first step in the service because their job is to keep the deceased’s body looking the way it will in heaven. There are religious alternatives to the saying goodbye to family and friends, but a lot of people don’t go the traditional route for their loved one’s final hours. The Funeral or Memorial Service The second step is the funeral or memorial service, which generally is a graveside or casket burial. The grave represents a grave site, which represents the idea that our lives continue after death.
 
Honoring The Spirit of the Deceased
First, a non-religious funeral may call for a memorial service followed by an evening gathering to reminisce with friends and family. While the specifics can vary depending on the religion, most non-religious funerals involve sharing favorite memories and holding a final sendoff for the deceased.
Is There Anything Non-Religious Funerals Can’t Do?
Non-religious funerals don’t require the use of language or scripture to send off the deceased. So while the ceremony may be non-religious, it’s still respectful and should be remembered for its humanity.
 
Conclusion
Religion can be a difficult topic to discuss, especially for those who have grown up in it and struggled with it at different points of their lives. However, the truth is that all of us have some sort of faith. We have faith in our family, our friends, our faith community and even our god. Even those of us who don’t identify as religious can use some of the practical tools and ideas in this post to create a non-religious memorial or funeral.
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 Conservatorship and guardianship ate two terms often used when considering how to help a loved one who has become incapable of caring properly for themselves. There is no uniform federal definition for the two terms. The various states determine how they choose to use each, and who gets described as either a conservator or a guardian. In the process of deciding on guardianship or conservatorship for a loved one, you are probably under some stress. This article seeks to give some clarity and, perhaps help make the decision a bit easier.
 
What is Guardianship?
In the simplest of terms, guardianship is a legal entity that takes control of an individual's finances, health care, and property. The non-profit Association of Estate Planners and Councils (AEPPC) describes guardianship as: "The power to control a person’s personal affairs, estate, property, and/or assets of the decedent; and custody and control of all assets for the benefit of the person, and is in charge of all personal property of the decedent, except for the property he or she has filed an inventory for." Essentially, it is an arrangement that assigns a third party with the power to act for a person with diminished capacity. This includes the power to manage the person's personal affairs, transfer personal property or manage the person's estate.
 
What is Conservatorship?
According to the document "Patient Power: Choosing to Protect, Enhance, and Change Who We Become," by Robyn K. Hay, Ph.D., the concept of conservatorship first became known to the public in 1996. It was published in a variety of journals including the New England Journal of Medicine and National Affairs. There are some similarities between conservatorship and guardianship and the two terms are often used interchangeably. The difference between the two is guardianship can be used when a person needs the assistance of another person (such as family members) to help them with a specific task. While a conservator can serve the purpose of protecting someone from themselves.
 
The Difference Between Guardianship and Conservatorship
Guardianship. In a general sense, a guardian is someone who is appointed to make decisions on behalf of a person who lacks the mental capacity to make their own decisions. In most states, the way in which a conservator is appointed, is by way of a court order. So the amount of control a conservator has is generally decided by the court. Typically, there are restrictions on how the conservator may act regarding the individual they are appointed to take care of. The conservator may be subject to court orders, such as the ability to make important decisions, such as if the individual is to receive medical care or can be given certain privileges.
 
When to Choose Guardianship or Conservatorship
In the United States, the right to possess life and health are guaranteed to the adult child of the person in question. This means that children can take care of their parents and be awarded power of attorney, which grants them the authority to make decisions on behalf of the parent. The care of the parent, though, comes down to what is best for that individual. For example, you might decide that your mother would be better off under your care than under the guardianship of a state, which could result in additional cost and administration to you as a caregiver. You also have the option of making the choice yourself. In that situation, it is more important that you consider your own wishes.
 
A Brief History
If you have not seen this before, I will give you a brief history of the two terms. It used to be that a person who became disabled did so primarily by declining or failing to eat, drink, or get adequate sleep. Thus, they became physically incapacitated and unfit to handle their affairs. They became disabled, to the degree that they could not handle their affairs. A long time ago, there were no services available to help the person. They had to go out and do their own research on how to handle their disability. This meant doing some activities, like some shopping and driving. Many people found they could do this with the help of a relative, perhaps a friend, but not always.
 
Conclusion
Regardless of how a guardian or conservator is chosen, both terms must be determined individually. Because each term has different criteria, the terms and their respective conditions must be considered as closely as possible. This article simply attempts to provide an overview of what the two terms mean, and how to choose which is right for the loved one you are dealing with.
 
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Guardianship is serious business and should always be a last resort. Nevertheless, if an aging parent is unable to make their own decisions or live alone; if they are making foolish decisions or doing dangerous things, guardianship is an important option to consider. It is possible for guardianship to be temporary and/or limited in its implications, just valid in the time frame necessary to remove a loved one from a threatening situation.
 
What is guardianship?
Guardianship is the legal authority of someone over another. The decision is made by a court; the actions of a guardian are solely for the person you designate as a guardian and does not apply to you or the assets you hold. You can have a guardian appointed if you are unable to act for yourself, if you are not the natural guardian of the person you are trying to have help you with, or if you want to appoint someone to help take care of a loved one. Guardianship may be the only way you can save someone from themselves. If you have a loved one who needs help, you may want to become a Guardian.
 
How do you get emergency or limited guardianship?
The first and most important point to consider is that an adult child does not need to be married to have a guardian appointed. An adult child simply needs to provide evidence of a parent's incapacitation and evidence of the home being unsafe (for example, an unpaid utility bill, an eviction notice, etc). The second most important point is to not try to take guardianship by yourself. Having another person as 'co-guardian' makes life much easier. The person for whom you are seeking guardianship will try to tell you what to do and you need to stand your ground. When your loved one is resisting and fighting back, it makes it a lot easier to stay calm and present if you have another person to support your decisions.
 
What are the benefits of guardianship?
Guardianship allows an older person the ability to make their own decisions with the help of their friends, relatives, or loved ones. It allows parents the freedom to live on their own terms instead of under the care of strangers or people they don't know. • If parents are not able to care for themselves for any reason, guardianship allows an older person to stay in their own home, under the supervision of guardians (people chosen by the parent or guardian). • Guardianship provides more freedom for older people than assisted living options; older people have the ability to live where they want to live and with whom they want to live with. Why do we need guardianship? Simply this: As we age, our ability to make sound decisions diminishes.
 
What are the drawbacks of guardianship?
One downside of guardianship is that it often is a formal process and expensive. However, all parties involved should ensure that this is only done after careful consideration, research, and consultation with a qualified and professional attorney or estate planning attorney. If someone cannot afford to get guardianship, they should at least consider other options such as palliative care or hospice care instead. Another drawback of guardianship is that there is often an assumption that guardians are family members. In reality, many forms of guardianship are available to all interested parties such as mental health professionals, employment organizations, associations, churches, or others who are willing to step in and fill the role of a guardian for the owner of the property.
 
Conclusion
When a family member or close friend has a problem with an aging parent's behavior, it is often a much bigger problem than is initially recognized. As a result, a person who is aging, is moving in the wrong direction and needs to be proactively addressed.
In the first step to getting help, people should get all their loved one's medical records and consult a physician about all of their health problems. For further help, a person should consider hiring an attorney to help manage the elder's assets. After that, a person needs to begin researching elder law and making it known to their loved one, so that the process can be started, evaluated and implemented.
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 Seeing a loved one nearing the end of life can be an overwhelming experience. For children, it can be extremely emotionally traumatic.
 
Why should children visit their dying grandparent?
 It will be hard for the child not to feel upset or afraid when facing inevitable death of one they love. Often, a dying grandparent may be confused or disoriented and unable to answer your child's questions. This is unlike the grandparent the child knows and loves and can cause real confusion and fear.
 
But the benefits of a visit to a dying grandparent far outweigh the risks. For one, a grandparent's comfort is vital. A visit, even just for a short time, is likely to improve the patient's wellbeing, while reducing the distress and anxiety of the child. The 'mystery' of what is happening is revealed in real time and, as the child considers, he or she will begin to understand the cycle of life.
 
Another benefit is a chance for the child to establish a new kind of relationship with their grandparent. For some children, a dying grandparent may be the only person that the child has ever known who is at the end of their life. Such a bond can be special and provide a valuable source of support and comfort during what can be a frightening and anxious time.
 
What are the benefits of visiting a dying grandparent?
Visiting a dying parent or grandparent can benefit a child in several ways. Here are just some of the reasons you may want to take your child to visit: Reminds children of life’s fragility, and to appreciate everyday living. A visit helps children to process their emotions and feelings. A visit makes them more open to talking about their emotions and how they feel, especially around parents. It inspires a love of life, family, and traditions. It is a bonding experience between grandparent and grandchild Is a teachable moment to discuss death. You may not want your child to visit a dying parent or grandparent until he or she is ready to handle the experience, but working on preparing for the event is terribly important.
 
What are the risks of children visiting a dying grandparent?
It’s possible for children to be caught up in the emotional turmoil of seeing a dying grandparent. According to WebMD, children might: Feel frightened and confused. Run to someone for help. Feel depressed or have a temper tantrum. Get upset or too close to the person, as if they are trying to hug the person. Have nightmares. Feel anxiety.
What should parents do if their child doesn’t want to visit a dying grand parent? They should help their child work through their feelings by describing it. It’s also helpful for parents to share their own stories about dealing with death and the loss of a loved one. It may help their children realize that the end is a natural part of life and not a tragedy.
 
How to prepare your child for visiting a dying grandparent.
My grandfather died right before Christmas and I remember sitting in my parents' living room trying to explain the gravity of the situation to my little sister. She was only seven. Seeing my grandfather so sick was terrifying. I remember visiting him in the hospital and holding his hand and feeling so scared. I wasn't ready to lose him and the thought of him not being there seemed inconceivable. The only way I could cope with his death was to dream about him. During his illness, I would have dreams about him going to the bathroom or a taxi coming to take him to the hospital. I believed I was on a holiday with him. I didn't know it was only a dream.
 
Conclusion
As with almost any stressful situation, I recommend having your spouse or another supportive adult with you to help you navigate these situations. Many times, children will feel comfortable enough to talk to the person who is dying. You can help them develop a new and sometimes deeper relationship with the person they are caring for during the last few months of life.
However, you should never force your child to be around a dying loved one. Children may see their loved ones suffering and may suffer from their own anxiety as well. If your child experiences anxiety while caring for a person in the last days of life, it is best to seek the guidance of a counselor to help him or her through this time.
 
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