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Preserving Memories. Sharing Legacy.

May 14th, 2026

5/14/2026

 

Eulogy Mistakes to Avoid: 12 Common Errors and How to Fix Them

Most people who write a eulogy have never done it before.

They sit down in the middle of grief, stare at a blank page, and try to find words for a life that mattered.

So if you're feeling uncertain, you're not alone.

And the good news is this:

You do not need to be a professional writer to create a meaningful tribute.

But there are a few common mistakes that can make the process harder than it needs to be.

Avoiding them can make your eulogy feel more natural, more personal, and more memorable.

Free Guide: What to Say in Life’s Most Difficult Moments


Mistake #1: Trying to Include Everything

This is probably the most common mistake.

People feel pressure to include every achievement, every date, every memory.

But a eulogy is not an entire biography.

Fix:

Choose a few meaningful themes and build around those.

If you want a complete record of a life beyond the eulogy itself, consider: Life Story & Legacy Book


Mistake #2: Making It Sound Like a Resume

Listing accomplishments alone rarely creates emotion.

People remember people—not bullet points.

Fix:

Include stories and moments that reveal character.


Mistake #3: Using Language That Doesn't Sound Like You

Sometimes people feel they need to sound formal or poetic.

But when your words don't sound like you, listeners feel it.

Fix:

Write the way you naturally speak.


Download the Free Guide: What to Say When Words Are Hard


Mistake #4: Telling Too Many Stories

Stories create connection—but too many can make a eulogy feel scattered.

Fix:

Choose one or two stories that say something larger about the person.

If you need help preserving additional memories for future generations, consider: Legacy Letters


Mistake #5: Trying to Hide Emotion

People sometimes believe they need to remain completely composed.

But emotion isn't a weakness.

Fix:

Allow yourself to feel what you feel.

A pause or a shaky voice is okay.


Mistake #6: Making It Too Long

Longer doesn't always mean better.

Attention and emotion can become difficult to sustain.

Fix:

Aim for meaningful rather than lengthy.

You might also find help here: How to Write a Short Eulogy That Still Feels Complete


Mistake #7: Ignoring the Audience

Remember that different people are in the room:

  • Family members
  • Friends
  • Coworkers
  • Neighbors

Fix:

Keep your words inclusive and understandable.


Mistake #8: Avoiding Humor Completely

People often worry that humor doesn't belong at a funeral.

But gentle, natural humor can bring warmth.

Fix:

Include humor if it genuinely reflects the person.


Mistake #9: Focusing Too Much on Death

The eulogy is about the person's life—not simply their passing.

Fix:

Spend more time reflecting on how they lived.


Mistake #10: Using Clichés Too Often

Phrases like “they're in a better place” may feel automatic.

Sometimes they help.

Sometimes they don't.

Fix:

Speak personally rather than relying entirely on familiar phrases.


Mistake #11: Thinking You Must Do It Alone

Many people carry the entire burden themselves.

Fix:

Ask family or friends for stories, memories, and ideas.


Mistake #12: Thinking It Has to Be Perfect

Perfection is not the goal.

Connection is.

Fix:

Focus on honesty rather than flawless wording.


A Short Example

“I worried about saying the right thing today. But I realized something—the right thing isn't perfection. It's simply speaking honestly about someone who mattered.”


Need More Help?

If you're still unsure where to begin, you can find examples and guidance here: Eulogy Writing Help

And if you want to preserve stories beyond the funeral itself: Legacy Letters or Life Story & Legacy Book


Get your free guide: What to Say in Life’s Most Difficult Moments


A Final Thought

A meaningful eulogy rarely comes from getting every detail right.

It comes from saying something true.

Something personal.

Something that reminds people of a life worth remembering.

And that is already enough.


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    Author

    Steve Schafer is the founder of TheEulogyWriters.com and has written hundreds of heartfelt eulogies and life tributes for families across the United States and around the world. For more than thirty years, he has helped people find the right words during life’s most meaningful moments. In addition to eulogy writing, Steve now creates Legacy Letters and Legacy Books — personal histories and reflections designed to preserve memories, values, stories, and family heritage for future generations. Steve lives in Texas with his wife and believes that every life holds stories worth remembering and passing on. The articles in this blog are intended to offer comfort, guidance, inspiration, and practical help to those honoring loved ones or preserving a meaningful legacy.


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