100+ Eulogy Examples
Eulogies People Have Loved

The eulogies below are a sample of what a professional eulogy writer can do. It is a compendium of love and loss - grief, sorrow, and emotion. We've presented more sample eulogies than anyone could possibly need, but offer them with the hope that the eulogy you prepare (or we prepare for you) will be a fitting tribute. 

The writing of a eulogy is an art form. It is the capturing of a person’s essence and personality in such a way that those attending the funeral or memorial service or celebration of life go away feeling they now know the deceased better than they ever did in life.
 
Eulogy writing is complicated, for most people, by the fact that the writing needs to be done quite quickly during a time of grief – usually a day or two after the death has occurred. In addition, family members tend to gather, from out of town or locally, to support one another, making ‘alone time’ for putting a eulogy together virtually impossible to find. Then there is the fact that you, too, need the support being offered by family and friends. 
 
It is in times like this that many people turn to a eulogy writer. All of the eulogies below are actual eulogies delivered by those needing a eulogy for a loved one. They are offered as examples of what can be done to honor the life of someone you’ve lost.
 
As you read a few, you will probably pick up a ‘pattern.’ Every eulogy writer has his/her own style and we are no exception. We, at TheEulogyWriters.com never use a template nor do we want any eulogy to look like any other we’ve written, but there may be some similarities. For one thing, we like to begin our eulogies by thanking guests for coming for this solemn but special occasion. People have sacrificed their time to be there, so this always seems appropriate. No one LIKES going to a funeral, so we believe they should be thanked.
 
Another touch we like to include, is a personal note to the grandkids, no matter their ages, if there are any. Telling them they have a part of their grandparent in their personalities and those things should be recognized as coming from one who loved them… telling them they are a legacy to the world.
 
Finally, one of the things we do (and this is typical of every eulogy writer) is to have the speaker address, at the end, the one they’ve lost.
 
The eulogies below have names changed for purposes of privacy.
 
 
EULOGIES FOR A FATHER
 
Christopher C.
 
I wouldn’t want to do anything that detracts from the eloquent eulogy that Angela gave, but I did want to stand up and share some personal thoughts about our wonderful father. The first, of course, has to do with love… There wasn’t a day in Linda’s or Angela’s or my life when we didn’t know we were loved by our father – and, even more so, by our mother…
 
In fact, I’ve often told people that you could talk about our mother without our father, but it is totally impossible to talk about dad without talking about mom. They would have been married for 70 years this September. Their lives were so totally intertwined, that even thinking of one without the other seems like something important is missing…
 
Mom passed away during Covid, so we couldn’t do anything, in terms of a funeral or memorial to honor her death or commemorate her life… So, I think, today has to be about her, too. Dad IS/WAS a memorial to his dear Fern, our mother.
 
Mom and dad both immigrated to the United States when they were teenagers. They met here, but, ironically, arrived on the same ship, not ever meeting and not knowing that their lives would be spent together… that they’d have three daughters and accomplish so much…
 
Dad loved to tell stories of his growing up years. Apparently, his father left the family for the United States in preparation for them to later join him. Unfortunately, the second World War got in the way, making that impossible. Dad became the ‘man’ of the house at age five. He never left Italy until he was 15. He’d tell us that his younger sisters thought of him as their father… Can you imagine the weight of that kind of responsibility at such a young age!?
 
When he finally got here, his father gave him 50 cents (this was back in 1945, when 50 cents was worth, in today’s money, about $8.50) and told him to get an education and make his own way…
 
Dad had a tremendous work ethic, having spent ten years essentially running the farm back home. He knew school wasn’t his thing (and the language barrier didn’t help that situation at all), so he got a job and worked that job into a business that provided a good life for all of us for decades… And dad worked HARD! He seldom took a day off and he was the kind of boss that got his hands dirty, working right along side his employees.
 
Somewhere in those years, dad met the love of his life and, even though his work hours never lessened, his love for his dear Fern was the top priority in his life.
 
Dad was a brick layer and a real estate investor. Many neighborhoods in the area today are peppered with homes he built…. Those homes will last for generations and they become an important part of dad’s legacy to the world.
 
And, I’ve got to say, people loved our father. He was always the gentleman. He exuded a sensitivity and empathy for others that people were drawn to. He had an artistic spirit from which came a love for others, a love for nature, a love for beauty in whatever form it might be.
 
One of our most cherished memories is of dad cooking lamb on the barbeque. He said it was a tradition he brought from his hometown in Italy… and it became one of ours.
 
I remember him taking us to church every Sunday and even building our home on the same block as beautiful St. Mary’s Gate of Heaven, where Angela, Linda, and I went to school and where, he hoped, we’d attend high school two doors away… On Sunday mornings dad would take us to mass after mom made sure we were properly dressed, with short white gloves and all… Dad (and mom’s) biggest lesson to us was that we must learn to stand on our own two feet – to do what is necessary to make it in the world – to use our resources and our intelligence and our talents to succeed…
 
Mom was right there with him, every step of the way. She encouraged and taught life-lessons and was our biggest fan… The two of them, together, made the three of us who we are – tremendous influences in our lives…
 
The biggest joys in the life of our parents were their three daughters UNTIL the grandkids started to come. Six: Zachary, Alexander, Andrew, Juliana, William and Thomas. Those six young people could do no wrong in dad’s and mom’s eyes… One of the things we always did was to gather together as family every Sunday, for dinner, in the true tradition of Italian culture and family life. We talked and laughed and shared our lives… Mom and dad were in heaven to see us crowded around the table and filling up the living room… loving one another…
 
I do hope that all six of you will see a lot of your “Nonnie and Poppie” in your own lives as you grow older. I hope you’ll see Poppie’s tenacity and talent. I hope you’ll see his self-sufficiency and his determination. I hope you’ll see Nonnie’s gentleness and goodness – her sense of humor and her way of loving others… I hope you’ll see both of their deep faith in your lives. YOU are their legacy right along with Poppie’s houses. In you, they both live on in the world in this generation…
 
After mom passed, dad needed some help. His lower motor function was compromised (because of all the hard physical labor for five decades) and we convinced him to sell the house (where they lived for ___ years). We built him an apartment on Angela’s property, so she could be nearby when and if needed… Angela – we thank you for all you did for dad in these past years. You have been his angel in so many ways. We’re not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t been ready and able to help as you did. Thank you..
 
Dad – and Mom - you’re with one another again. For that we are SO happy, even in the midst of our grief…  You are both with the Lord you served all your life. You are with friends who have gone before. You will both always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you – we will love you forever.
 

 
Anthony B.
 
          His name was Tony B., but my brother and I had the unique and wonderful privilege of calling him, 'dad.’ We’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here with us today as we celebrate the magnificent and very blessed life of our father.
         
          Some anonymous author wrote something that we think was surely written for dad:
 
“Dads are someone to look up to, someone to follow, someone to admire, someone to be proud of and someone to brag about; someone to hold and someone to cry with, someone to learn from and someone to respect, someone to listen to and someone to talk to, someone to try and impress, and, someone, most of all, with whom to share everything this wonderful life has to offer.”
         
          That was dad -  and he was much, much more. We are so incredibly blessed to have had such a wonderful Father in our lives.  My Sister and I looked up to our dad and we loved and admired him every day of our lives. I can honestly say that he was the best Dad we could have ever dreamed of or hoped for. He was our Hero.
 
Dad was hard working, compassionate towards everyone, and deserved every bit of the success and wonderful life that he enjoyed. Dad taught us many, many things, but I think most importantly he gave us the ability to know that if you really put your mind to something, anything is possible, and to never to be afraid to give something a try.
 
Throughout our lives, everywhere we’d go, we heard countless, incredible stories from people about dad… how he saved a loved one’s life or what a nice man he was or they’d tell of an amazing or heartwarming experience they had with him… In 36 years practicing medicine, you touch a lot of lives. We’ve heard so many stories of how his delightful bed side manner gave encouragement and hope and a bit of relief from a boring hospital stay… And, of course, dad’s dedication to bringing the modernization of gall bladder surgery to Thousand Oaks has been a god-send to hundreds of people.
 
 Dad was involved with medicine pretty much all his life. When he was just a child, he had a form of polio that kept him bedridden for a year. Later on, he worked in the family pharmacy, waiting on customers. Back in those days, drug stores always had a soda fountain and was known for making an amazing chocolate soda.
 
          Dad met mom when he was in medical school, at Children’s Hospital in Buffalo, NY. They were married just a few days short of 61 years, when he passed… and they had an incredible life together. They did so much. They had such adventures. They had so many friends… A rich life, filled with good things and wonderful people.
 
Some of you may know that dad once built an airplane in our garage. Mom was in on it. She actually helped dad build it. When they finished it, he was popping his buttons with pride.
 
Dad loved planes. He started out with radio controlled model planes when he was stationed in Germany with the Army. He became so infatuated with the idea of flying that he KNEW he needed to be up there in the clouds. The day he got his pilot’s license was about the happiest day of his life. Of course, there is always the other side of the coin. One of the worse days of his life was the day he was coming in for a landing at the San Francisco airport, back in 1989, on a foggy day, and crashed his plane into the bay… He was uninjured, luckily. He was rescued by a nearby fishing boat. He loved to tell that story…
 
Dad was a member of the ‘Secret Society of the Quiet Birdmen.’ That’s an organization that you join only by invitation. It’s made up of men who love to fly. What they do at their meetings? It’s a secret… But I’m sure dad’s San Francisco Bay story was told often as the guys swapped stories of adventures and mishaps and enjoyed one another’s company… He had dozens of flying buddies…
 
Dad’s first love wasn’t flying, though. It was us. Dad’s family meant more to him than anything in the world. We never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved by this dear man… He gave us everything we needed and SO MUCH of what we wanted… He was a great father… But the grandkids – Morgan and Reiley – and their two great grandkids, Owen and Aiden… Dad could never get enough of them. Every Sunday there was a dinner at Opah and Nana’s house where he played with the grandkids when they were little… camping  trips and adventures as often as he could fit them in.... There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for those grandkids… Dad wasn’t too well when the great grandkids came along, but he adored them and loved seeing them whenever he could. Family together – THAT gave him the greatest joy of his life.
 
But what dad was known for was being a great doctor. He served as chief of surgery and chief of staff at Los Robles Medical Center and continued his private practice for over three decades. He LOVED it. He knew he was doing something good – literally saving people’s lives. We remember the day he was scheduled to perform the first Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy. The night before, at dinner, he was so excited. He told us all about it and how the procedure was performed, by making 4 small incisions and inserting a tiny camera into the abdomen and then using a special instrument to remove the gall bladder. He was so excited about the fact that a patient’s recovery time was reduced from 2 WEEKS to 4 DAYS! He was the first to perform it in the tri-county area…
 
Dad loved surgery. When we were kids one of our cats was playing with the tablecloth and pulled it off the table, with crystal cake plate sitting on it. The plate came crashing down and sliced off the cat’s tail. Dad didn’t hesitate. He got out his needle and sutured that tail back on the cat and closed the wound. The cat never played with the tablecloths again. And, to my knowledge, dad never did vet work again, either…
 
Dad was a wonderful man. He was outgoing, gregarious, fun, happy – charming – always positive... He was always the life of the party. He was a man who could tell super-funny jokes (some of them groaners)… He loved a good limerick… Maybe his best quality was the fact that he inspired people. He had a gift for making people feel comfortable and important… because, to him, every person WAS important…
 
Dad knew he lived a ‘charmed’ life, and he was grateful for that. He knew he was blessed. And he gave so much back to others, in appreciation for all he was granted.
 
One last thing… Dad had a Facebook page. Look it up if you want. It’s got some good things on it. But don’t be too shocked if dad reaches out to you after you look at it. It’s been hacked. Be assured, the email you may get from ‘Tony,’ after visiting his page, isn’t from dad…
 
Dad - - we already miss you so much. You inspired our lives. You taught us so many things. You were, to the two of us – and to many others – our hero. Thank you. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Arthur M.
 
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our father. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Dad’s death was tragic – one of those events in life that is an overwhelming sadness for all of us and will be for years to come – probably our whole lives. He died with no one around to tell him how much we loved him or to comfort him in his last minutes. But we hope and pray that he knew anyway – that he knew that he was loved and that his life has influenced so many others - that part of the goodness in his life is in all of us.
 
          Dad grew up here in Belize City. He loved it here. He used to tell my brother and me about his younger years. Back then, the passion of his life was for a beautiful black stallion he owned. He told us that he’d ride that horse without a saddle and that he and the horse were always on the same ‘wave-length’ and the horse seemed to know what dad wanted him to do and would always obey. As he told the story, it was clear that he loved that horse dearly. …So much so, that he bought us a horse when we lived at the Rock Stone Pond Farm. Our horse’s name was ‘Lightening.’
 
          We tried to recreate dad’s memories by attempting to ride ‘Lightening’ bare back, but ‘Lightning’ wasn’t dad’s horse. ‘Lightening’ was stubborn and had his own mind. But dad loved watching us try – laughing at our feeble attempts to ‘meld’ with ‘Lightening’ – while remembering his own youth and his favorite horse…
 
          One of dad’s favorite pass-times, when we were growing up was fishing (actually, fishing has been dad’s favorite thing to do always – not just ‘back then’).  He’d pack us all up in the back of his pickup truck and drive us to the nearest pond on Wester Highway. After we got all set up, we’d take out our ball of flour bait, load up our hooks, and cast away. I remember, sometimes, being there for HOURS without getting so much as a nibble. I thought fishing was the most b-o-r-i-n-g thing on earth. But I was glad that dad seemed to be having a good time. Fishing was his thing…
 
          There were times when, after a heavy rain, the streams would gush over onto the highways and we were able to catch tons of Tarpons. On those days, dad couldn’t get the smile off his face, he was so happy…
 
          I suppose there wasn’t a day in our lives – Arturo, Orlando, Ricardo, Javier, Gabriel, or I when we didn’t know the love of this dear, quiet, wonderful man…
 
          Dad was devastated, of course, when we lost Arturo, Orlando, and Ricardo. …His sons – men he had known from birth and watched grow up. Dad was proud of all of us… seeing those three go was very difficult for him…
 
          And the grandkids and great grandkids… Seeing that next generation come along and then the NEXT gave him a tremendous sense of pride and accomplishment. I hope that all you grandkids and great grandkids will see a lot of your grandfather in their own lives as you grow older. I hope you each will see his work ethic and his intelligence, his ambition and dedication to whatever he was doing. I hope each of you will see, in yourselves, his down-to-earth way of thinking about life and his honesty and his desire to follow his dreams. You are his legacy. In your lives, he lives on in the world…
 
          When we were growing up, dad was always very concerned about our education. He took us to school every day…He knew education it is SO important…
 
          Mom helped dad get to Belcast College to earn his associate’s degree in accounting. Accounting was dad’s bread and butter all his life. He was accountant and auditor for many businesses throughout Belize. He was one of Belize’s best accountants and finished his career with over forty years of experience. The last of the companies he worked for was the Big Creek Group as their Chief Accountant. He was loved by everyone there – and he LOVED being ‘Chief’ Accountant. He felt he had truly been successful…
 
          Maybe it was part of dad’s profession, but he was always a man who wanted us to be accountable. I can’t tell you how many times he’d call to check up on me – even now – to make sure we were alright. If we hadn’t called for a while, he said he would worry about us…I’ve always loved the way he cared for me and my boys. He’d call us just to check on us to see how we are doing – no big news, no desire to interfere – he just wanted to make sure we were good…
 
          Dad was always a man who lived pretty straight-forward. To him a spade was a spade. His ‘yes’ would mean ‘yes’ and his ‘no’ would mean ‘no.’ He always stuck to his word. For that, everyone who knew him admired him. You could totally trust Turo Magana…
 
          Dad was a quiet man – dedicated, smart, loving, ambitious. In that regard, he was a man to be admired… and we did… and we are so sad his is gone.
 
          Dad – thank you for being a role model for us. Thank you for always being there and, from time to time, giving sage advice. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Tati N.
 
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to my father. So many have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement and sympathy. Every one of those has been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          My parents lived with us for the past nine years. Those have been some of the best years of our lives. My sons, Jordan and Joel almost can’t remember when they lived anywhere else. Daddy was a wonderful grandfather, caring, gentle, one who always listened to them and laughed with them – who remembered what it was like to be ten and allowed them to be boys. They never lived a day of their lives that they didn’t know the love of their grandfather. I’m pretty sure that the day they were born was one of the most joyous of Daddy’s life. Watching them grow up was his greatest pleasure…
 
          Jordan and Joel – I do hope you will grow up and see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives. I hope you’ll see his amazing patience, his sense of humor, his love for family, his work ethic… and his faith. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world. You are his legacy…
 
          Daddy was born and raised in Vettiyar. His family was desperately poor. When he was quite young, he lost his own father. Knowing that if he wanted to succeed in life he had to make some changes, so he left home to look for a job. He didn’t mind hard work, so he did find a job but it didn’t satisfy him for long. He was destined to eventually make his way to America. That happened in _____.
 
          Daddy and my mother were part of the same community in India when they were young. They met one another and fell in love and, when daddy was 26 and she was 22 they got married (they’ve been married for 54 years!). They both worked hard and made a wonderful life here in America – along the way having a great son born to them (that’s me!).
 
          I have tons of memories of Daddy from when I was growing up, but one of the memories that tells it all is one from when I was in the 9th grade. I decided it was time, so I shaved for the first time. When he saw me, he didn't say a word. But then, after about 10 minutes, he came to me with his mustache shaved off. It was rather a shock, so I told him he looked terrible without it. He told me that’s what he felt when he saw me with my face shaved. That’s how he was. He could use words if necessary, but going beyond words to taking action was more his style.


          Daddy worked for the Department of Environmental Protection in New York for his entire working career. Getting that job obviously changed his life. He was so grateful for it. It paid the bills and allowed us to have a good life. And the work he was doing was important, so he had that satisfaction, too. In his own little way, he was helping to save the world…
 
          One of Daddy’s great finds in life was this church. Long Island Marthoma. He and my mother loved the people here and the music and the sense of community and love. If you are part of this congregation, I thank you for enriching daddy’s life as you did. He so much appreciated you all…
 
          Daddy was, for the most part, a very quiet man – private – careful – traditional in many ways. But one of the things I admired about him was how he was always straightforward. When he felt strongly about something, he’d come out and tell you – always respectful, but he said it as he saw it, no matter what it was… And he was one of the most patient men I’ve ever known. Patience is a virtue most of us lack – Daddy had mastered it… And compassion…Daddy would give money to help people in need, even when he couldn’t afford it. He remembered tough times and knew what some of the less fortunate were experiencing. He knew that if he had ANYTHING he ought to share it with those who had nothing.
 
          One of the things I’ll always remember were the road trips we’d take. Seeing things and doing things – enjoying being together. I especially remember road trips we’d take in India. The whole family – cousins and everyone – would get on a chartered bus and tour… Wonderful, memorable times with people we loved…
 
          Daddy loved cricket, soccer, Indian classical music - Carnatic music by Chembai vaidiyanath bagavathar, mostly. In his younger years he enjoyed playing Badminton and, even later in life, he enjoyed a good game of carrom.
 
          Daddy had a lot of friends, but his best friends were Abraham and Simon, whom he knew from Abbot Elementary. They were friends for decades and always enjoyed being together. Abraham – Simon – thank you for being such wonderful friends to my father. He truly enjoyed both of you…
 
            I already miss Daddy every morning when I don’t see him – when I get home from work and he’s not there. Nobody can ever replace such a dear man.
 
          Daddy – thank you for being the wonderful man you were. Thank you for your quiet, wise ways, for your kindness even to strangers, for your gift of patience and goodness. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
         

 
Charles P.
 
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to my father. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement… Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Charles was one of the best men I’ve ever known. I know, for a fact, that he was the best father I could have ever had. I am the man I am today as a direct result of his influence in my life. He taught me responsibility, kindness, discipline, to be considerate of others. He taught me the importance of being optimistic and hopeful – to expect the best in life. He taught me that, even though life is sometimes hard, it never ceases to be incredibly beautiful.
 
          I remember, when I was little, dad teaching me to ride a bicycle. We were in the park and it took several hours of him running with me and pushing me and encouraging me – telling me I was doing great and not to give up. He was so proud when I finally figured out how to balance and go on my own… As I look back on it, I see that incident is an allegory of dad’s life – helping others – doing whatever he could until he was exhausted – KNOWING success would come…
 
Dad truly embodied everything good and positive in this world. He lived selflessly for the sake of others and will live on in the hearts and memories of everyone who knew him. I feel he was put on this earth to elevate those around him. He put the needs of others far above his own and made it his life goal to ease the hardship and suffering others encounter in their lives. I have always been proud of being his son…
 
          As you all probably know, dad grew up in Mexico. He always described his early years in idyllic terms. He referred to Acapulco, as ‘paradise.’ He and his brothers and sisters (Danny and Tony; Lisa and Griselda) lived a block from the beach, so they practically lived for the parties and fun and the sun. His mom and dad were wonderful people, supporting their kids hopes and dreams… and he paid it forward.
 
          Dad DID have dreams. As much as he loved Mexico, he knew there was more for him ‘out there’ – in the United States, than Acapulco could offer … When he got here, he had virtually nothing. He started from the bottom. He worked hard. He learned English and made a very good life for mom and me. My father accomplished the American Dream! One of the proudest days of his life was the day he became a U.S. citizen…
 
          Dad was the very definition of an extrovert. He could – and did – talk to just about anyone at any time. Within minutes, a stranger would become a friend. He was the kind of man who could brighten a room just by being in it. He knew exactly what to say to make someone smile or laugh and make their day better. He would go out of his way to meet new people and introduce himself. I saw him do it so many times…
 
          I don’t know exactly how this happened, but somehow, dad got connected with the Jewish community in Los Angeles and Santa Monica and became a valued and cherished part of that culture. He joined them in celebrating their holidays and events, their weddings, bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs – Passover, Channukah, and Yom Kippur – and loved it all. I think that might have been a bit unusual for a Mexican man, but that was dad… he loved everybody and everybody loved him…
 
          Dad spent most of his working life working as a facilities manager at the Stephen S. Wise temple in L.A. and then at Kehillat Ma’arav synagogue  in Santa Monica. He was the ‘go to’ guy for audio and video at events, as well. And he was tech savvy enough to maintain their IT infrastructure. He really was a multi-talented man… and loved to help people in any way he could.
 
          I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but my mom and dad had numerous other children… They looked after our neighbor’s children and our nephew. They had their part in raising Jovan, Andy and my nephew Dylan. They cherished each and every one of them like they were their own sons, and always showed them love, care and attention. Even after they became young men, my father showed interest in their aspirations, their careers and sometimes offered advice during any difficult times they might have had along the way.
 
          Mom and dad were married for 27 years. Mom passed away back in 2013. Dad was, of course, devastated. They had been inseparable – they depended on one another for everything – they were an inspiration as a couple…
 
          In these past few years, dad was still a very active guy. He went to work every day, he cooked his own meals (he was a phenomenal cook - every dish he made, was restaurant quality, and he could make legitimate Mexican cuisine from scratch – it was wonderful!). He performed regular maintenance on both of his vehicles… And he travelled. He went to Spain and Greece and back to Mexico to see family and friends still there...
 
          Dad was always learning. He loved keeping up with the latest trends in cyber security. He loved to follow the latest news so he could be up to date on world events. He loved watching cooking and travel TV… But more than anything, I think, he loved being with family and friends, sharing stories and memories and hopes and dreams. His brother, Danny and sister, Lisa, lived with us when I was growing up, so the three of them were life-long best buddies… Uncle Danny – Aunt Lisa – dad truly loved you two. Thank you for enriching his life with your love all these years…
 
          One of the things that touched my heart and gives me great comfort is that dad often told me that he felt that life had been gentle and kind to him – success, freedom, living well, lots of friends… Travel, work he enjoyed, wonderful neighbors, the ability to help others, and an optimistic outlook.
 
          My hope would be that I would be the kind of man my dad was – honorable, courageous, committed – a gentleman who reaches out always with a helping hand. My hope would be that I would be like this man I so adored…
 
          Dad – you were an amazing role model for a young, impressionable boy. You showed me – all of us, really – what a life lived well looks like – a life of giving and sharing and helping. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you. We will love you forever.
 

 
Carl T.

      I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with word of sympathy and encouragement – so many have assured us that they are praying for us. Every one of those has been so much appreciated. Thank you…
 
          I brought a rose to the pulpit today. It is the perfect symbol of dad. He loved roses with a passion. Every color that roses come in represents something different. White represents love, faith and purity. The yellow rose is hospitality, gratitude and friendship, the pink roses stands for admiration and tenderness, and everyone knows that the red rose is for passion and love. Dad had all of those – a deep love for family and friends, a faith that was unshakable and drew him to ministry. Dad was hospitable. He loved life. He had so many friends. And he was passionate for the gospel and seeing others receive he Lord Jesus Christ into their hearts. Dad was like a rose that he made beautiful the whole time it was blooming. But for dad, it was God who made his life beautiful from beginning to the end.
 
          Until a few months ago (when he just couldn’t anymore), dad was the hardest worker I’ve ever known. He and Harold (most of you know dad and Harold, his brother, were twins). Dad and Harold started working at age six, when Grandpa Hall sent them out to pick cotton in the fields. Hard work for little boys, yet the two of them picked side by side back then and worked side-by-side all their lives.
 
          When dad and Harold got to be young men, they did some dating around. Harold was dating mom’s sister and introduced them. Dad, almost immediately, dropped that girl and started seeing the love of his life, mom. They were married for 63 wonderful years. I’m pretty sure they had some ups and downs (all marriages do), but they got stronger after each one.
 
          I imagine that Carlus, Angie and I were part of their ups and downs. It’s not easy raising three kids. Money was always tight – kids are expensive. But one thing I can say for all three of us is that there was never a day in our lives when we didn’t know dad’s love.
 
          Dad was a preacher until he couldn’t do it anymore. He loved life and always helped people in any way he could. He and Harold were tireless in helping whomever needed help.
 
          When dad wasn’t in the pulpit preaching and conducting tent revivals, he and Harold would build houses. They were contractors by trade (preachers by calling and passion), and dad loved nothing more than seeing a house take shape, from the laying of the foundation, the framing in of the walls and, eventually the finished, brand-new house that some happy family would live in for decades. It always gave him a sense of pride when he drove past a house he built – knowing it would be there for maybe a hundred years…
 
          One story I love is about dad working on a house they were building. He fell from the rafters, crashing onto the ground. It looked serious and they rushed him to the hospital. From there they put him in a helicopter and to make an emergency run to Huntsville. We all headed for Huntsville, too, of course.
 
          When we got there, they were allowing only two visitors at a time to visit. When it was Harold’s turn to go back, he got a bit confused and ended up at the service desk. Not knowing what to do, Harold called out to his brother as loudly as he could. “Carl – where are you?” Dad heard him and called back, “I’m over here!” Everyone had a good laugh – two brothers searching for one another and being re-united…
 
          Dad and Harold were so close that when one got a new truck, the other had to have one, too. All their lives they were the very best of friends. Uncle Harold, you enriched dad’s life so much. Thank you for always being there for him and loving him and sometimes putting up with him and coming back for more. You were a wonderful brother – the best…
 
          Dad had the gift of gab. He could talk with just about anyone about just about any thing. He also had quite a sense of humor. The two combined can be a dangerous thing. Dad loved kids and chatted with them whenever he had the chance. He was famous for seeing a child in a cart at Walmart and start talking with them. When he finished, he’d say to the child, “Your mom or dad should get you a toy.” Then he’d walk off laughing, knowing the inevitable outcome of that little exchange.
 
          Of course, the kids he loved most were his own grandkids: Jackilyn, Tyler, Courtney, and Jessica. He LOVED watching them grow up into the wonderful adults they’ve become. He was so proud of each one… He was older when the great grandkids came along (Brilee, Brayden, Bryce, Markham, Asher, and Aria). He loved them and thought the world of them. His saying was that “I can handle them a little bit then send them home.” He thought that was so funny…
 
          I hope that all you grandkids and great grandkids will see some of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older and know those things come from him. I hope you’ll see, first of all, his love for the Lord. I hope you’ll see his devotion, his work ethic, his sense of humor, his joy. I hope you’ll see his commitment to family and even his love for blueberries and roses… YOU are his legacy. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world.
 
          Our dad was an exceptional man. He inspired us to seek God and to be righteous people. He showed us what it looks like to be a Christian. I know that, when we all get to heaven, we will be amazed at how many people owe their faith (and thus their eternal home) to dad and his preaching and his faith.
 
          We read in Hebrews (12): Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.
 
          Dad – you ran the race. You persevered. You always had your eyes fixed on Jesus. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Clarence T.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our father. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called mom or Tim, Simone, Christopher, Dinneen or me expressing your sympathy and giving words of encouragement. All of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Our father was a man to whom we all owe so much. He gave us a great childhood. He taught us the value of work and pride in a job well done. Every one of us was expected to be out of bed by 8:00 and ready for the day. Dad would have us working around the house, doing various chores; or he’d have us out in the yard, pulling weeds. One summer, those of us who were still living at home, spent hours and hours digging a drain trench along the foundation of our house – 8 feet deep – and then filled that trench with rocks so the water would be diverted away from the house… REALLY hard work… Dad taught us how…. He taught us the importance of working together. He taught us the satisfaction of doing something worthwhile with our time and our young muscles… And those lessons have served all of us well all these years.,..
 
          Dad, himself, was a very hard worker. He believed that hard work and determination open all kinds of doors in life – bringing opportunities for success and, maybe, even wealth. And he proved that to be true. His work ethic and his perseverance made his a success by anyone’s standards…
 
          Dad told us some wonderful stories about his growing up years. One was about his Aunt Julia, who sent him to the meat market one day, to pick up her regular order. Dad rode his bike from west Oakland to Alameda. But, when he got home, his Aunt quickly told him he had brought back the wrong order. She insisted he go back with her to make it right. His Aunt Julia was a formidable woman, so he had no choice. He rode his bike back to the butcher shop and she walked. She was so upset that she walked faster than he rode his bike. The butcher saw her coming, with ire on her face and balled up fists. He hastily made the order right, and back home they went. Dad knew never to mess with his Aunt Julia…
 
          Another time, dad was caught, going out with his uncle, to beg, telling people they were hungry… they weren’t. He got into a bit of trouble for that…
 
          But that’s the kind of man my dad was – a bit of mischief, perhaps, but always a good heart…
 
          Dad met mom at a high school carnival. One of their first dates was going out to Lake Merritt. He rented a rowboat and took her out onto the water. It seemed like a romantic little outing. But when they got out a ways, he discovered that she didn’t know  how to swim. He swung that boat around and immediately rowed to shore. He was taking NO chances with this young lady he rather liked… They were married for 62 years. ‘Mom was always the greatest love of dad’s life…
 
          Timothy came along, then Simone and Christopher, Dinneen and then me. There wasn’t a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved by this man. He wasn’t always outwardly demonstrative, but we knew. He loved us with all his heart. …And we gave him a host of grandchildren… his pride and joy in life. Dad loved children and, over the years, several of those grandkids lived with dad and mom for six months or a year… They were always welcome. They were always catered to. They were always loved…
 
          I hope all your grandkids will see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see, most certainly, his work ethic. He would EXPECT you all to have that. But I hope you’ll also see his politeness and his courtesy to others – his determination – his generosity – his ‘scrappiness.’ I hope you’ll see his faith… YOU are his legacy. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world…
 
          Dad’s faith WAS important to him. He was baptized at a young age – Southern Baptist – his home church, at the end was the Bible Fellowship Missionary Church. It is dad’s faith that  makes losing him a bit easier. His faith taught that, when we die, we go to be with the Lord. That’s where dad is today…
 
          When dad was a young man, he was in the National Guard. Back in those days, he liked to box and he would tell of how he won an important fight for his regiment
 
          Dad did construction work for a couple of years and then he worked for the United States Postal Service for 5. …Then he discovered his true calling – he became a longshoreman and worked at it for 47 years. He loved it. Back when he began, containerization and huge cranes hadn’t been invented. All the unloading of ships was done with pulleys and block and tackle and hooks and backbreaking work. Dad was known as the best worker on the docks. His co workers would be tired and need breaks, but not Baptiste. He would tell his coworkers to go sit down when they got tried or were having a bad day. But he, himself, never did. Dad lived to work…
 
          His philosophy of hard work paid off. Over the years, dad built four homes for his family, bought one for his mother and ended his life with a small fortune in the bank… He used to say he was ‘living in high cotton’ (meaning he had made it – he was living the good life).
 
          Dad was a bit feisty at times, though. He wanted what he wanted. Dad fought our neighborhood association to build his final home. Dad wanted a two story house built. The Association said “NO” – only ranch houses could be built. The association president actually stood in front for the tractor on the day construction was to begin so it couldn’t get started. Dad took them to court and won. It was an ongoing battle between them. The association sued dad several times… Dad always won…
 
          Dad had two passions in life. One was his cars. He had a 1939 Oldsmobile and a 1954 Ford truck. There were few things in life he enjoyed more than working on those vintage vehicles and showing them off. He was a member of “Oldsmobile of America” and the “Ford Motors Club.” He loved getting together with other members and comparing notes on old cars and seeing what others had done to restore theirs…
 
          And he loved his dogs. Dad bred Dobermans. Each one became like a member of the family… and he adopted my Boxer… Seeing dad with his dogs was a pleasure. He enjoyed them so much… and every one of them returned that love…
 
          Even to the end, dad loved playing Dominoes. He was pretty hard to beat – he was a good strategist. Mom and my daughter, Cynthia, looked after dad in the final phase of his life. There were hard days, but, for the most part, dad was stoic and never complained – he just appreciated everything we did. . It was such an honor to be there with him at the end - he did so much for me…
 
          Dad – You have truly impacted so many lives. You, being here, made us all better people. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
David A.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called one or more of his kids to express your sympathy or to give words of encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Today is, really, a celebration of dad’s life… and I know that one of the things dad would want us to do today is laugh a little. Laughter was such a huge part of who he was. Dad was a bit eccentric, a bit crazy, a lot loving… He was always saying something funny, even when you were talking to him about something totally serious. Dad, himself, would sometimes laugh so hard that he couldn’t get words out, just little croaks, with tears in his eyes. So, as I tell of his life and tell a few stories, laughter (sometimes mixed with tears) is OK…
 
The stories we all loved most, were stories of when dad was a kid. Apparently, dad, and his brother, Louie, heard a weather report early in the winter season, up in Washington where they lived, and heard that it was going to freeze that night. They had a steep driveway, so thought it a great idea to hose it down so it would freeze and they could slide down it. It worked. It was great for ‘body sledding’ – not so good for grandpa Wilson, who took a fall – and couldn’t get his car into the garage for weeks, until it thawed…
 
Sliding was a big part of dad’s growing up. After big snow storms, his favorite thing to do was to climb up into the big Douglas Fir tree in their yard and slide down its branches into show drifts…
 
When dad and Louie were little, they’d run off to the local gravel pit to slide down the big piles of rocks and dirt. Grandma was not happy when they’d come home filthy and all scraped up. So she literally tethered them to a tree in the yard or to the sandbox so they couldn’t get away… Until they discovered that, if they took off their pants, they’d be free… So to the gravel pit they went – naked…
 
When dad finished high school, he joined the Marines. He proudly served his country in Japan and in Vietnam. Most of those stories were a bit sad and he didn’t talk about those two years very often. But he did keep in contact, for the rest of his life, with some of his Marine “brothers” and always found pleasure in helping his fellow veterans whenever and however he could.
 
Dad would tell you he was a recovering alcoholic. He gave up drinking when he was 29 and never fell off the wagon. Instead, he became a integral part of the local AA group and helped countless others overcome the addiction. One of dad’s best friends, Randy Cole,  he met at AA. Here is something Randy wrote about dad:
 
I first met Dave at Fellowship AA in Puyallup, back in the early 80s. Dave and I became close and, to be honest, he was the only guy I was able to let in to be close to me. Dave and Mary let me into their lives and I was one of the guys that got to be part of the family. I was around for all the kids being born and was given the title of “Uncle Randy.” In fact all of Dave’s friends, that came over to his place, were called “uncle.” As I pray and think about Dave, I can hear the voice of my God in my heart saying.....
"Well Done Faithful Servant."
 
Dad was never much for going to church, but he was one of the best Christian men most of us will ever know. He read his Bible all the time. He even kept a yellow highlighter with it and used it when he came across something that seemed especially important or spoke to him. He would often call one of his kids just to read us a verse that really impacted him. Or he'd leave it in a voicemail. Dad lived by the words of the Bible and, because of his relationship with the Lord, we know where he is today… no doubt making the angels laugh till they cry… God shaking his head at the latest eternal resident…
 
Dad was one of the most giving men on earth. He wanted very little for himself and gave all he could to, literally, anyone - whatever form that might come in. He loved going to the thrift store and finding treasures. He didn’t really know who he would give his findings to. It really was whoever he saw first. They’d be the recipient of his latest treasure. It might be jewelry, clothing, an old framed picture or, sometimes, some very hideous figurine.

          Dad was a talker. He could (and would) talk to anyone within range. And he had very few filters as to what he’d say. Sometimes he was too honest about what he thought. He never looked at it like he may have hurt your feelings or was insulting you. He truly believed everyone should know when they looked ridiculous or acted in a poor manner that he didn’t approve of. But that was just the way he was and we loved him because he loved us so unconditionally.
 
Dad loved to talk so much that it was always hard to leave him when he started going. He would follow you out to your car and keep talking till you rolled the window up on him… But what I wouldn’t give to have that happen one more time…
 
Another funny story: Dad raised pigeons for over twenty years. He’d take them to fairs and farming events… He loved the fellowship and ‘pigeon talk’ among the pigeon fanciers (that’s what you call pigeon owners).  Pigeon fanciers love their birds and put a fair amount of money into them. At one show, dad happened to take, in a burlap bag, a hawk he had caught. His plan was to give it to a friend, who was a falconer. No problem, really, until my brother wanted to show off the cool bird in the bag to some people… and it got away… in the barn. Pigeons go pretty much crazy when a predator is in their space and the entire show was in pandemonium! Dad and Tommy, literally had to run out of the place, people were so angry…
 
More than anything in life, though, dad love his family. Mom and dad had seven of us kids… We all live here in North Dakota except for Stephanie, who lives in Florida, and Robin who is in Washington (we’re from Washington, but dad and mom moved here 29 years ago to be near all of us who came for the oil fields.
 
Eighteen grandkids… Dad loved every one of them and was so proud… Whenever he’d see any of them, he’d always give them something special – a treat or a gift he found thrifting. When they were little (some still are, of course) they’d love to sit on his lap and feel his beard… or maybe he’d scare them by taking out his false teeth… He always loved taking them out, into his garden, to plant or to pick berries or veggies… Time spent with his little ones was always pure pleasure…
 
I do hope that each of you grandkids have inherited some of your grandfather’s best qualities… His sense of humor, his talent, his positive outlook on life, his generosity and lack of selfishness – his deep faith and love for God… In all of you grandkids, your grandfather lives on… See him in yourselves from time to time… and remember him and his love and goodness.
 
Dad always said that whatever happens in our lives is part of God’s great plan. We shouldn’t worry too much about our time on earth. We should enjoy it. It’s our job simply to prepare on earth for the eternity that’s ahead of us.
 
          Dad lived that way all his life – he helped so many people – he gave such joy and laughter – he was such a dear, wonderful, man…
 
          Dad – You will always hold a special place in our hearts. We will never forget you and all you gave us. We will love you forever.
 

 
David L.
I am reading, this evening, a eulogy from Krista, written on behalf of the entire family… I am honored to do so…
 
We’d like to begin by thanking all of you for being here today as we honor and remember one of the best men most of us have ever known. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement and sympathy… Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Dad always loved telling stories of his early life in the coal mining camps of West Virginia. He remembered how hard life was. His dad would go into the mine and not see the light of day until daylight was almost gone. He’d come home black from the coal dust. He said his father worked incredibly hard and made tremendous sacrifices just to put food on the table and clothe his wife and kids.
 
A few years ago, dad took the entire family to West Virginia to see it first hand. A lot has changed in the past seven or eight decades, of course, but we got the picture. We saw where dad grew up and how people there still live. His stories weren’t exaggeration. They were fact.
 
When dad was 12, his parents decided this was no way to live (if they stayed, dad would have soon been expected to go into the mines), so they moved the family to Ohio, seeking a better life.
 
That was one of the best decisions they could have made. Life changed radically from that point on. As a teenager, dad and his friends would buy old junkers, get them running and sell them. Some of them they kept for themselves and had a great time racing on Ohio’s country roads… For the rest of dad’s life, he LOVED racing and watching Nascar. In fact, dad tended to drive like a Nascar driver when we were going to and from a Miami Dolphins game. It was pretty thrilling. We teased him, saying we all ought to be wearing crash helmets… He loved it!
 
Dad graduated from high school and went on to trade school to learn tool and die making. He started at Globe Industries, in Dayton (he always had a side job in those days,  buying, fixing, and selling cars). In ‘69 we moved to Florida, where he became the general manager at Labrie Manufacturing. He LOVED that job, but knew there must be more. So he and mom took a huge risk and started their own business, Press-Rite, Inc., and made a go of it…then a second business a decade later… Needless to say, dad was a worker. He had an amazing work ethic and always taught us that a dollar is a lot harder to earn than it is to spend. He also taught us that, to succeed, you don’t have to be the smartest, you just have to work the hardest…
 
My brother, Brian, worked with dad for over 30 years (dad loved that – so did Brian) and, right until the end, dad loved going to the shop to see what was going on and to just ‘be’ there with everyone…
 
But far more important to dad than business or success or anything else in life, was his family. Brian and I never knew a day our lives when we weren’t loved by our father. He was a wonderful dad in every way imaginable. He loved us unconditionally, no matter what we might be doing or into… And he was a great husband. Mom and dad have been married for 63 years and to see how they loved each other and complimented one another was inspirational…
 
Dad was the best grandfather ever. He absolutely adored his grankids: Alexis, Chad, Dylan and Devin. Any time he could spend with any or all of them were the happiest times of his life. He loved watching them grow up and he was overwhelmed at the wonderful young adults they have become. I hope that all four of you will see SO much of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see his work ethic, his humility, his ability to see possibilities, his perseverance, his loving spirit, his gentleness and goodness. I hope you’ll see his faith. YOU are his legacy. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world.
 
Dad’s faith WAS something important to him. He was a member of the New Horizon United Methodist church for over 25 years – almost never missed a Sunday service. He loved the music and the prayers. He loved the choir. He loved the sermons most of the time (sorry pastor)… and, of course, all the wonderful people he knew there… All of you who are here today – thank you for enriching mom and dad’s life with your friendship and your faith…
 
Dad was also very involved with the Masons. He was a Master Mason – and in the Scottish Rite – to the 32nd degree.
 
Dad had some wonderful friends over the years. Gene Neff, his brother-in-law, was one of his best for over 60 years, until he passed… and Gene Sanders, also gone – a competitor in both Ohio and Florida – but they loved and respected one another, anyway. Aldo Bagotti, owned a business across the street – he, too, has passed… Dad mourned the loss of each of those dear friends… And there were numerous others – really to many to name…
 
Dad loved to go boating and fishing. He loved his season tickets to the Miami Dolphins games… But probably, his all-time favorite thing to do was to work on that 1957 Chevy of his. He loved that car. In fact, he loved all Chevy’s. No matter who might be racing in Nascar, he always rooted for the Chevy driver(s).
 
One of the things we’ve always admired about my father was seeing how he handled his Rheumatoid Arthritis. He had tremendous pain over the years, but he somehow never complained. He had numerous surgeries and treatments – and always had a positive attitude. He endured so much… but was never down and he never stopped living life. In fact, his mobility scooter probably had more miles on it than most people’s cars…
 
Dad loved spending time, with mom, down in the Keys. He loved going to the Daytona Turkey Rod Run car show each year… Dad was the true definition of a man – a truly good man. He was humble, loyal, tough. He loved God and his family. He married his high school sweetheart (he always said mom chased him by sending him Christmas cards)..
 
Dad was the best husband, father, grandfather, friend, and neighbor… Everyone loved him and all of our lives have been better for having had him in them…
 
Dad – we have loved you so much. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever…
 

 
Don C.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement and expressions of sympathy and caring. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          When dad was in high school, one of his teachers, frustrated over dad’s lack of lack of enthusiasm for whatever subject the man was teaching, took him aside and said, “Donn – you’re not going to get anywhere in life riding snowmobiles all the time.” Could a teacher have been more wrong?!
 
          Dad spent nearly fifty years working for Arctic Cat – first on the assembly line and then, as the company saw his talent and passion, he moved up the ladder until he became part of a team developing engines, moving them away from Suzuki and building them in the United States. He was a much respected engineer for the company. Dad held several patents on engine parts and improvements he made over the years. He was featured in company promotional videos, and, because of his expertise, Arctic Cat sent him to Japan and throughout Europe doing their bidding (so much so that he accumulated half a million Delta Sky Miles – banking them, to be used when he retired)… Apparently you CAN be pretty successful riding snowmobiles all the time…
 
          Dad loved his job. He loved the people he worked with, the stimulation of new ideas, the engineering challenges, the joy they all provided to snowmobile enthusiasts all over the world. His best friends were all Arctic Cat people… For those of you here today, thank you for enriching dad’s life and being wonderful friends. He treasured each and every one of you.
 
          Dad’s greatest love in life was his family. He married mom in 1975 and, together, they raised Christopher, Darren, and me. There wasn’t a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved. Dad was never a man who wore his emotions on his sleeve (he had Scandinavian roots, after all), so he didn’t express his love for us too often in words, but there was never any doubt. He was always there for us. When we were teenagers, he helped each of us get our first car. He’d regularly fill our tanks with gas, he’d cook our favorite foods – he’d spend time with us – going to our various activities, taking us on trips, being involved with our lives and, in every possible way, show us his love…
 
          When the grandkids started coming (Emma, Cora, Ivana, and Ian), dad absolutely adored them. He went to their sporting events, he took them to the beach, he talked with them and joked around. They all thought ‘grandpa’ was the best.
 
          I hope that all four of you will see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives as you grow older. I hope you’ll see his kindness and humility. I hope you’ll see his sharp mind and his loyalty, his joy for living… And I know he’d want you all to save money the way he did – and to use it wisely. The four of you are his legacy. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world… Keep him in your hearts and think of him often.
 
          Dad WAS a very frugal man. He researched everything before making a purchase. He was always looking for ways to save money. He never felt the need for extravagant or expensive things. He would say that, “when you get to be my age, you don’t need much.” He would rather see his kids and grand kids enjoying what he could provide…
 
          Here’s how frugal dad was. He had this old lawn mower that he had for years and it kept breaking down – constantly, it seemed. He refused to buy a new one. Fortunately, he could fix just about anything and he kept putting the old mower back together and into service. He could have easily bought a new one… buy couldn’t see any reason to…

          Dad thoroughly enjoy life, though.. He loved being out on the water on his pontoon. He loved the sandbar at the cabin in Bemidji, where he’d spend summers. He loved deep-sea fishing with his boys, or hunting. He loved going to Florida, to his retirement community, in the winters. He loved to travel – to see the world and the beauty all around… Dad was a quiet man, but he never sat on the sidelines. He was always on the go…
 
          Dad’s constant companion in recent years was his Springer Spaniel, Bristol. The two had a mutual love for one another and went everywhere together. I’m pretty sure Bristol will be as lost without dad as all of  us…
 
          I’ve been thinking a lot about dad in these past days. He was a wonderful man – in many ways ‘selfless.’ He was humble, kind, quite (an introvert, actually). He was a very smart man. He had an engineers mind and approach to life… He was a man who never judged others – accepting them as they are. He was a man who used his talents to the fullest and ended up with a wonderfully successful life, loved and respected by so many.
 
          Dad – we’re all going to miss you so much (we already do). You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
FRANK C.
          Our father was an amazing man. He was a man with a mission. That mission was to make sure that Vincent and mom and I didn’t go through some of the struggles that he experienced in life. His goal was to make our lives better than his was in just about every way… and he did.
 
          Papa grew up in the Philippines with seven siblings. His father died quite young and left his mother with a house full of kids and very few options for putting food on the table. They struggled. Papa told a story of how his mother couldn’t afford to pay the tuition fee for his school and, one day, he was asked to leave the classroom. That day changed his life. He said that he told himself that HIS children would never live in that kind of situation. He would work hard and do whatever it took to get out of poverty.
 
          Papa came to the United States ahead of us to prepare the way. When we arrived, he had a tiny, little place for us to stay… But he had a plan. He had his life (and our lives) all mapped out. We would find jobs. We would move to a larger apartment. He would, somehow, help us buy second hand cars so we could be independent and enjoy our new lives in America.
 
          In the years to come, Papa became a great provider. He made sure we went to good schools and had a nice place to live. He and mom travelled all over the world… As he looked back on his life, from where he came from to where he ended up, he was astounded. He had accomplished the ‘American Dream.’
 
          Papa was always singing some Frank Sinatra song. One that I’ve always thought was written just for him was Siinatra’s “That’s Life.” You’ve heard it. The chorus goes:
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing;
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up and get back in the race.
 
             That was Papa. He never quit on anything he set out to do. And that’s probably the biggest lesson he taught us… “Don’t quit. Fake it until you make it.” …and you WILL make it!
 
             Long before it was commonly known, Papa had adopted the “Dress for Success” philosophy. Even when he was growing up in the Philippines, he loved to look his very best. He wanted to LOOK like he was well to do even if he wasn’t. He knew that people’s impression of you is very important and can go a long way toward success in life…
 
             All Papa’s life that was the way he was. He LOVED to be dressed up and look good. When he’d go shopping (which he did often), he’d spend hours trying on clothes until he had just the right outfits – at just the right prices (he was quite the bargain hunter). The way Papa looked, added to his gregarious personality and his ability to tell great stories, practically guaranteed he’d be a success. He loved to be with people and laugh and joke around. He thoroughly enjoyed life.
 
             I can honestly say that Vincent and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved and cared for by this dear man.
 
             And Papa adored his grandkids. I’m pretty sure that the days on which each was born were the most joyous of his life… and watching them grow up gave him immense pride. One of the things he enjoyed doing was looking at each one and seeing some of himself in them.
 
             He’d look at Michael and say, to himself, that “Michael looks very much like me when I was young. And, he’s smart and handsome…” Dad loved it when someone would comment at how much Michael looks like him. He’d always say it was an honor to be compared to such a wonderful young man…
 
             Juaquin loves Sinatra almost as much as dad did. Papa was always asking how Juaquin how he did in his latest cross-country race – not just how well he did, but where he was ranked among the winners (he wanted to give all the glory details to his friends). Papa gave his ’96 Mustang convertible to Juaquin and loved to hear stories of how much Juaquin loved the car.
 
             Isabella is the oldest grandchild and she had the greatest ability to make Papa laugh. She could sometimes make him laugh so hard, tears came to his eyes… Like Papa, she loves taking selfies and posting them on social media.
 
             Papa was pretty sure Gracie got her beauty from him (or, he’d admit, maybe it was from mom). But he considered her one of the most beautiful people he’s ever known – not just physically, but inside, too, where it counts.
 
             Rapha is the spitting image of his dad… and, of course, Vincent gets his looks from Papa… so…  Not long ago, Papa watched Rapha play soccer and commented on how fast he could run. I could tell by his voice how proud he was of his youngest grandson…
 
             One of the things that makes losing Papa a bit easier is the fact that he was a man of faith. He attended church every Sunday and loved God deeply. Some of his best friends are from church: Marie, Dan, Pearl, Jing, Christiana – and numerous others… All of them are half his age but he loved them all. He said they made him feel young. Thank you all for enriching Papa’s life like you did… for loving him like he loved you.
 
             Funny, strong, brave, loving, opinionated, kind, stylish… That was our Papa. We loved him for all of it and the way he always wanted the best for everyone he knew.
 
             Papa – Thank you for all you were in our lives. You have made our lives SO good. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Gary P.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our dad and celebrate his life. So many have sent cards or emails or called mom or Stephanie, Elizabeth or me with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those has been very much appreciated. Thank you… …Dad’s parents, Garland and Lucille, are gone, of course (they helped make dad the man he was), but his brothers and sister are here today. They, of course, knew dad and loved him longer than anyone else on earth
 
          Our father may well have been the best man I’ve ever known. He was the patriarch of our family, but more than that, he had a positive impact on just about everyone who knew him. . He was a role model of what being a good person, with good conservative family values, looks like.  He was a pillar in the community… and, even though I’m his son, I considered him my best friend.
 
          Here are some of dad’s own words, from a letter dad wrote to me when I was on a sophomore retreat in high school… He wrote:
 
As our relationship continues to evolve over the next few years, from Dad and son, to men of equals, let’s not forgot that I am still your father and we share a special bond. The openness of our relationship can only grow stronger.
As you grow into a man, you should remember your family origins and continue to show the respect and trust that Mom and I have instilled in you. We are your family and will always be your family. The only change will be the intensity and level of our relationship. Additionally, always maintain a positive attitude and treat all you encounter with the same level of respect.
With love and faith in oneself and family, you will have confidence to walk boldly through each chapter in your life. However, with each step, your family and our special relationship will always be there shouting words of encouragement. I know that I can count on you to do the right thing, keeping your head high, and always showing respect for others. I wish you the very best and remind you to never forget your family roots.
Your friend, love Dad.”
 
          Can you imagine how powerful that was to a 16 year old? My dad recognized the changing of father/son relationships over the course of time and KNEW that his example of character and strength, integrity and family values, would make his son the kind of man he wanted him to be.
 
          When dad was a young man, he spent seven years with the U.S. Navy. He worked with the submarine division as a nuclear missile technician. He was a very proud American and loved to have served to his country. …I’m not exactly sure how a missile technician ever became a CPA (the two seem to be polar opposites), but there he was… He went to the University of Maryland and graduated Magna Cum Laude in accounting…
 
          Dad spent nearly all of his working life – 36 years – at Vitro Corporation (now BAE Systems). His hard work and talent took him to the top. He retired as North American CFO of the company. It was a high demand job, of course. It required him to do a lot of travelling, but he always made time for my sisters and me. He coached our basketball, baseball, and softball teams. He was always available if we needed to talk through a problem or life issue – there to help us navigate our growing up years.
 
          I tended, back then, to push the boundaries, sometimes legally and sometimes, not. But dad was always there, providing love and support – and a bit of fatherly wisdom to get me on the right track, again. I can honestly say that Stephanie, Elizabeth and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved and supported by this man…
 
          Mom and dad have been married for 47 years. They’ve been through it all and, no matter what came their way, they were always a unified front, and their love was an example to everyone who knew them… Dad earned his CPA in night school while working – and with young children at home. Not easy, I’m sure – but that’s what a man like dad does… whatever it takes for his family and the people he loves.
 
          Mom and dad have six grandkids: Aiden, Dalton, Harper, Rachelle, Jameson, and Madelynn. He adored each and every one. I’m pretty sure that, the days on which each were born, were the most joyous days of dad’s life. For the older ones, he even had the privilege of coaching their basketball teams, and loved every minute of it.
 
          I hope that all you grandkids will see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives as you grow up. I hope you’ll see his goodness, his sense of humor, his loyalty, his work ethic, his talent, his kindness. You are his legacy. In you, his life goes on in the world… And I hope you (and all of us) will tell Madelynn about him. She is too young to have any memories of her grandpa…
 
          Dad loved basketball. He was a real Hoosier. One of the things that upset him on a regular basis, when he was watching a game, (and, I think this might apply to all of life, as well), was when players would miss free throws. For dad, missing a free throw was unforgivable. It didn’t matter how wide the score gap, dad would add up the missed free throws and declare that they would have won if they would have made them all.
 
          Dad believed in doing your very best, no matter how insignificant a particular activity might be. He would say, “always striving to do your best will instill a sense of pride in you which will enable you to perform at a maximum level and overcome any challenge.” In other words, make those free throws count. That’s the way you succeed…
 
          All his life, dad was very competitive. He loved to golf, trade stocks, watch sports (he taught me how to play golf – I’m pretty sure it was so he’d always have a golfing partner – over the years, we played hundreds of rounds together. We loved every one of them!).
 
          I’ll always remember dad’s sense of humor. If you got him going, you’d hear his loud, boisterous, laugh. It was catching. In these later years, nothing made him laugh more than his grandkids and, for some reason, video bloopers of dogs and cats. He couldn’t control himself. It was so good to hear him laugh… and everyone, naturally, laughed with him… His laughter was contagious…
 
          Dad – I loved you as a wonderful father and as my best friend. You taught me how to be a man of character. Thank you. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we will love you forever.
 

 
Gradye C.
I am honored, today, to be reading a eulogy for Gradye on behalf of his daughter, Carolyn, and by extension, on behalf of her brothers, Neil and Doug, and the entire family…
 
Carolyn writes:
I’d like to begin by thanking everyone for joining us today as we say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called my brothers or Janice or me with words of encouragement and sympathy. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Dad was a farm boy at heart. He grew up on the family farm in Yeelana. He often told stories of those early days. His life, back then, was nothing like life today. He and his brothers, and four of their friends, rode horses to school. After school, they’d sometimes go out into the fields and play a round of golf with wild melons… or they’d go to the river and do some spear fishing. One summer, dad and his brothers made 2500 cement bricks that they used to build their first shed. Life on the farm was good in so many ways…wholesome, fun, always something to do or some adventure to be had… Dad boarded at Prince Albert College, later on, and often took some of his friends to the farm on holidays.
 
Dad met the first love of his life shortly after he graduated high school. His cousin set him up with mom at a party. I’m not sure if it was love at first sight or not, but I know he fell deeply in love with our mom. They were married for 57 years. The latter part of those years were tough ones. Mom got cancer and dad took such wonderful care of her – all while tending to the needs of three young kids. It wasn’t easy, but dad kept strong and held the family together through it all. When she passed, dad was devastated. He suffered, for years, until God brought another beautiful woman into his life.
 
Dad met Jan at church (so, clearly, it was God who bought them together). And Jan was dad’s salvation. Her love and kindness and understanding healed his spirit and gave him hope again.
 
[ Jan, thank you for enriching dad’s life – especially in these past few years when he was failing... Thank you for caring for him so well and never failing in your love. He loved you with all his heart. You were truly a blessing to him… ]
 
I think it was dad’s faith that kept him strong through it all. He never gave up. He had a heart attack in the outback which he didn’t realize was a heart attack until later, he had a bacterial infection, sepsis… but he trusted that God still had a plan for him, so he stayed positive throughout it all. Dad was a man who believed in doing anything you can to help yourself – he never made excuses – he just kept going…
 
Dad spent most of his life as a Methodist. He was quite involved in his church. He was on the property committee for over 50 years! He loved the people, the church, itself, the services, all the good things they were doing… In recent years he attended right here, at Mattingly United Church. Again, he found a wonderful community of believers and inspiration and love… [ If you are part of this congregation, I thank you for all the love and prayers you offered on dad’s behalf.]

Dad was an inventive man. He was a problem solver… He worked most of his life at Philips and then moved to ETSA when the Philips factory was moved interstate where he could use his innate skills... He was originally an electrical engineer this was later expanded to electrical and communications engineer. He loved what he did. The job used his natural abilities AND it allowed him to travel all over the state... After he retired, dad volunteered, working for regional outback communities and on stations in the outback…
 
Dad was a tinkerer. He loved to see how things work and to build things. One of his great joys in life was four-wheeling in the outback. He loved taking pictures – meeting people – telling stories – teaching…
 
Dad loved the other things he did over the years, too. Years ago he was a member of the country fire service, he was a member the scouts, he was a member of an adventure group that was responsible for scaling and documenting caves in the area… In fact, one of his closest friends, for all these years, he met in the scouts, John Mellor… Another life-long friend is Allen Lockyer.

Of course dad’s greatest love in life was for Neil, Doug and me (after Janice, of course). He loved us all dearly. There wasn’t a day in our lives when we didn’t know we were loved by this dear man… And he loved Janice’s kids, too, Matt and Fi … and the grandkids, Izzy and Trinity. [ I hope you two will grow up seeing a lot of your grandfather in your own lives. I hope you’ll see in yourselves his work ethic, his inquisitive mind, his love for family, his ability to see something that needs done and do it, and, of course, his faith – he’d really want that for you… You are his legacy. In your lives, your grandfather lives on… ]
 
Dad was the kind of man that we all loved SO much. He was always kind, he was always accepting, he was always thinking of others. Who wouldn’t love him?
 
Dad – we have had you in our lives for these years and have counted ourselves so fortunate. You were a wonderful husband to two beautiful women, a great father who taught his children how to live, a devoted grandfather and a loyal friend. We are all going to miss you… You will always hold a place in our hears and we will never forget you. We will love you forever.
 

 
Jack K.
          Thank you all for being here today. I know that some of you are here to support me and Kelli or one of our kids (SO MUCH appreciated), but everyone else is here because dad touched your life in some way or other. We’re all going to miss him. I already miss him more than I can express…
 
          Fathers are men to look up to – to try to impress – sometimes to rebel against. They are men in our lives with whom we can share our lives – things good or bad or just common – dreams and hopes and disappointments. THAT was our dad.
 
          Dad was born back in 1935, midway through the Great Depression. His family made it through with hard work and, fortunately, both his parents had jobs – his father loaded freight train cars, his mother took in boarders.
 
          Dad’s sister, Dee was ten years older, so dad had, in essence, a second mother in her. She had a talent for drawing – wanted to be a fashion designer – and dad got his inspiration and interest in drawing, from her. He was forever grateful.
 
          Dad went through the motions of going to school when he was a kid. He had little interest during elementary school (or so his says – ask Kyle later on – he knows all dad’s early life stories by heart, having heard them so many times).
 
Even in high school, dad wasn’t a scholar. He played sports, had tons of friends, many of whom he kept for a lifetime… and he met a young beauty named Rosemary. She was one of those ‘popular’ girls – she dressed well, she was involved in every kind of activity and group imaginable. She was outgoing and vivacious. Dad was a bit on the shy side, wasn’t in love with large groups – liked to keep to himself. Sounds like the perfect couple, right? Actually they somehow were, proved by 65 years of marriage, until she passed in 2018.
 
Dad joined the family tradition after high school. The route taken by most of his in-laws: get a job at Proctor and Gamble, work there for 30 years, retire with a nice pension – be happy… But dad had a dream of making a life centered on art – it seemed unlikely, but dreams usually are…
 
But a neighbor had heard that dad was into art and mentioned to him that McDonald Douglas was looking for artists and illustrator’s. He should apply and see if they’d hire him…
 
Dad had, literally, never applied for a job in his life – the family had vouched for him and he was hired at P & G without even an interview. He went to the HR office at McDonell Douglas and the HR manager looked at the application and saw that dad’s handwriting, itself, was a work of art, so he hired him on the spot. Dad couldn’t believe his luck. He was going to get PAID to draw and illustrate!
 
Dad made friends easily so had a lot of friends at his new employment. He discovered that a few of them were doing freelance artwork outside of work. The idea was appealing, but where would he get clients. St. Louis was not exactly a great market for freelance art (and the internet hadn’t been invented yet).
 
Dad scanned magazines and books at the grocery and drug stores. He’d copy down names and addresses of publishers. He’d go to the library and research contact information for publishing houses and he’d sent them samples of his work. Then he’d call each of them to follow up… and, gradually, he began to get a few art jobs. He set up a small studio in our basement in which to work.
 
Dad loved working at McDonnell Douglas, but was never a fan of bosses and supervisors telling him how to draw and giving little credence to his opinions and talent.
 
So he moved on – to Maritz, an advertising firm. He loved his co-workers and the stimulation of being around creative people – the energized atmosphere… But he still had people looking over his shoulder and telling him what and how to do his art. I think it must certainly be prevalent among creative people – artists want to do their art THEIR way. So dad struck out on his own.
 
EVERYONE from coworkers to his friends and even his parents told him it was a bad idea. “Jack – you have a wife and three kids to support! You can’t take the chance of failing. The stakes are too high!”
 
But he did. Dad went for the gold ring and took a huge step of faith in himself and his talent and opened “Lancelot Art Studios.”
 
Ironically, dad, not being a religious man at all (he believed in God, I suppose, but disliked the rules and ways of organized religion), got most of his freelance assignments illustrating Christian magazines, Bibles, and books.
 
In 1990, dad and mom were doing well enough that they decided to build their dream house in West County. Dad was always a perfectionist and the whole building process drove him absolutely crazy. Problem after problem – excuses after excuses – delay after delay. Dad fell into a major depression. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He’d get up at night and wonder around the house and eventually sit on the couch and open mom’s Bible, laying there. He discovered the book of Psalms and totally identified with King David as he cried in the wilderness.
 
But dad, from that point on, was changed forever. Dad continued to read the Bible, started attending Bible study groups, learned to love God… Dad had always been a good man, but now he was a good ‘Christian’ man.
 
I had the privilege of hearing his testimony at two different Christian men’s luncheons. Pretty powerful stuff!
 
Dad retired at age 70. He and mom continued to visit Florida every year for the winter months. He met friends at Bread Co. for bagels and coffee. He volunteered at Children’s Hospital once a week to draw for the sick children. One of his lunch friends was Lou – 101 when he passed away.
 
One of dad’s great passions was telling stories and jokes to make people laugh, whether they were young or old. When you sat down with him, you could never escape his tales. Casey, Taylor, Kyle, and Jordan can vouch for that. And he loved to read. Dad’s mind devoured anything and everything – newspapers, magazines, books, the internet. He didn’t have much formal education, but remembered almost everything he ever read and could hold his own on any subject. He could complete a crossword puzzle in 30 minutes - his favorite bathroom break activity...
 
During the final five years of mom’s life, dad was her primary care giver, doing everything for her with amazing support, patience, and love.
 
During the final years, he had many health issues himself, but never once did I ever hear him complain or ask ‘why?’ He would just say, “hey, I’m fine. I’m not in any pain and I’m being careful.” His answer to most problems somehow involved going to take a nap.
 
My sister, Kelli, and her family have been amazing and wonderful to dad. Kelli did his laundry and would often bring lunches to him. Kelli and Don’s daughters were lights in dad’s day, as was my daughter, Jordan, whenever he saw them. I know that dad and Kyle had a special bond, enjoying so much time together until Kyle headed off to college. Dad was SO proud of his grandkids. I do hope each one will see some of their grandfather in their own lives – his creativity, his thirst for knowledge, his independent spirit and, of course, his faith. You guys made him SO proud…
 
I loved dad, and to say I’m going to miss him is a gross understatement. I can’t begin to imagine not calling him on the phone, taking him out to breakfast, driving over to his house to ask his opinion on things or to get advice. He will be at the heart of my life story forever.
 
Jack K. was our dad, grandfather, and friend. We will all talk about him, as time goes on, replacing tears with pride and laughter as we remember his stories and his days with us.
 
Dad, you’re going to be missed but never forgotten. You will live on through the actions of others whom you helped to shape and grow. Your legacy is safe and by the grace of God, we shall one day again be reunited. Thank you, dad, for everything.
 

 
James J.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement… every one of those has been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          This past year has been a tough one for dad as he lost mom, the love of his life (married for 60 years), and dealt with ALS. But the larger part of dad’s life was characterized by kindness, goodness, strength and a wonderful sense of humor.
 
          Dad used to tell stories of growing up on the farm, some nine decades ago. His family had a car but, in the winter, it wasn’t uncommon for his father to hitch up a horse to their sleigh to get to church on Sundays when the car wouldn’t make it through the snow… He said that he’d warm a brick on their wood burning stove at night and take it upstairs to put into his and his brother’s bed to keep warm… and he had to stay with relatives in town during the week so he could attend elementary school… Those were the days!
 
          As a teenager, he would, regularly, carry 100 pound sacks of grain up a flight of stairs at the grainery… He’d travel to farms to help load up bulls that had been sold to other farmers and deliver them – the bulls were NOT happy with the process and could be quite dangerous. Dad knew hard work and never shied away from it. Even in his painting business he didn’t retire until he was in his late seventies…
 
          After high school, dad headed for Chicago to seek his fortune. He started off as a bank teller, then he operated heavy equipment for a while.
 
He moved back to the farm when his father suffered a stroke and his mother needed help. He worked mornings and evenings at a mink farm to help ends meet…
 
Then he found his niche painting for M. Ecker and Company for fourteen years – until his entrepreneurial spirit kicked in and he and mom started ‘Jim’s Painting Company.'
 
          I always admired dad’s work ethic. Back when he was working, he’d often work seven days a week. He never backed down from starting new projects, no matter how complicated they might be – and always finished them. His motto was, “If you can’t do it all [at once], start by doing what you can.” And I admired the face that he never missed church on Sundays. Even if he was away from home and couldn’t attend St. Walters, he’d take the time and go to mass at a local church. He knew that God had blessed him richly and had to acknowledge that by being in church on Sunday mornings…
 
          Jerald, Bill and I all worked for dad during summers and school beaks to pay for college. We would get up at the crack of dawn and dad would drive us to and from the job sites in his work van while we would usually still groggy.  We were never late. He made sure of that.  And when we were working, we always made sure we looked busy because, if we didn’t, dad would find extra work for us to do.  It was hard work, but he made it fun.  He made sure we earned our money, but he wasn’t a harsh task-master. The radio played, we talked and laughed and loved seeing huge the difference we made to whatever we were painting… Dad, himself, was a great painter. He made it look effortlessly easy (but believe me, it wasn’t).
 
          Mom was the foundation stone of all dad ever did. She was his greatest fan and was always by his side. They did everything together.
 
          One of the things they loved do was to dance. They loved going to Palonia Grove (or anywhere where Polka music was being played) and enjoy an evening of dancing and fun… or they’d go to some of the Ravinia outdoor classical music concerts.
 
          Dad’s best friend was probably his brother, Bill. They worked on cars and tractors together. They could build or repair just about anything. The talked every day, until Bill died in 2022... Losing Bill and mom were the most devastating losses dad ever experienced. Both hit him hard…
 
          One thing I can say for certain is that Jerald, Bill, Janette and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved by dad. He was a great father and role model. Mom and dad had ten grandkids whom they adored and SO enjoyed watching grow up: two Josephs, Andrew, Anna, Emily, Amanda, Jerry, James, Emma, and Katie. I hope that all of you will see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see your grandfather’s work ethic, his sense of humor, his sense of courtesy and politeness, his obsessive punctuality, and even his faith. You are his legacy. In your lives he live on. 
 
          Five great grandkids! I know that seeing that next generation was almost overwhelming for dad. Knowing that they came from him and knowing that the family continues to grow and flourish gave him great pleasure…
 
          Other things that gave dad great pleasure, over the years, were weekend parties he and mom would host – eating and playing cards with relatives and friends… Dad loved to fish and travel. He loved to watch sports (especially the Chicago Bears and the Black Hawks). One of his passions was gardening. He was very proud of his verdant garden, every summer. It had tomatoes, asparagus, lettuce, potatoes, peas, beans, and carrots (but no weeds – he saw to that).
 
          Dad was, truly, an amazing man – a good man in every sense of the word. He was fearless. He was empathetic. He was always ready to help someone… He made a huge impact on everyone he knew…
 
          Dad – thank you for all you were in our lives. You taught us SO much and you set such a good example – a high standard. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
James P.
Wow! I so wish dad could see you all and know all the love that is in this room today. He’d have been humbled and so touched. And do you know what? – gathered here are only a fraction of the people dad loved and who loved him. Thank you all for coming to honor him and remember the great man he was… And thank you all for the cards and emails and calls so many of you have made to mom or Josh or me. Every one of those have been so very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
Josh and I have often been told, by our friends, that we won the lottery to have had such a wonderful father. I’m not sure the lottery analogy is the right one. GOD gave dad to us. It wasn’t a lottery. Dad was a blessing sent down from above… The best blessing we could have possibly asked for.
 
As we’ve talked about dad in these past few days, Josh said it best: “Everything about dad was top notch. So many of the things I didn’t appreciate, when younger, are things I’ve learned were true wisdom and have learned to respect…” Then he told God’s honest truth. He said, “The more education I’ve gotten, the smarter mom and dad became.”
 
Mom and dad met more than a half century ago… in a Shoney’s parking lot (Shoney’s probably never knew how romantic a place they provided to the public). They were married for just under 53 years… And their marriage was wonderful. I’m sure they had some rough spots, as all relationships do, but that never showed. Watching them, as we grew up, taught Josh and me what a marriage should look like…They were the kind of married couple who could take an 8 hour car trip and chat with one another the entire time… or they could sit in companionable silence, just knowing that being together was enough… Dad was a deep thinker, so even in those silent times, his mind was working on something or remembering something or coming up with ideas or planning something. Dad was big on being prepared for whatever might come along in life…
 
The man could do it all. He taught Josh and I just about everything we ever knew, growing up. In terms of preparation, he taught us to always have a flashlight handy, to always have jumper cables (not just in case WE needed them, but to possibly help someone who needed a few volts). He taught us to always have a pocketknife and a set of socket wrenches (he gave me a set when I graduated – I still have it and use it all the time).
 
He taught us how to cut down trees in such a way that they wouldn’t fall on anything… Then to cut them up and split the wood (there’d be no power log splitter on Mangham Road – only the chopping block and a good, sharp axe). He taught us how to work and the value of seeing a job well done.
 
Dad was a bit of a philosopher. He would often come up with pithy bits of wisdom from ordinary things. About the flashlight I mentioned that we should always have available. He’d say, “Whose flashlight are you? Who are you spotlighting.” And that was pretty much the theme of his life. He wasn’t one to seek the spotlight, but to deflect it to others whenever possible.
 
Josh said it like this: “Dad was one of a kind, a perfect blend of character, strength, and toughness. He loved fiercely and was always a hard working example for us all.”
 
I would add that dad was selfless, strong and disciplined… He was an easy man to love. I have often heard friends describe their fathers as tough to live with or even to be around. That wasn’t dad. Dad taught us that it is ok to show emotion. He showed us how to treat a lady, how to be humble, how to be good, dependable, men (let’s be honest – mom was undoubtedly behind all that – SHE taught most of those things to him – thanks, mom).
 
Probably the greatest love of dad’s life (after mom, of course), were the grandkids: Dillon, Rachel, Caleb, Anna, Callan, and Calder. Dad absolutely adored every one of them. I’m pretty sure that the days on which each was born were the most joyous days of dad’s life. He’d have done anything for any of them. So many memories. Dad loved seeing their achievements and going to their games and recitals and just watching them grow up into wonderful young people. I am so glad they got to know their grandfather…
 
I hope that each of you grandkids will see a lot of your grandfather in yourselves as you get older. I hope you’ll see his humility and his sense of humor. I hope you’ll see his incredible ability to fix things and to express love. I hope you’ll be as honest and good and see his character in your own lives. I even hope that you will, maybe, even learn to yo-yo like him (For those of you who didn’t know of dad’s secret talent, dad was an incredible yo-yo’er. He loved to show off for the grandkids. He could do ‘The Sleeper,’ ‘Around the World,’ ‘Walk the Dog,’ and quite a number of other yo yo tricks). But most of all, I think your grandfather would want you all to follow him in his faith – believing in Christ and living for Him… YOU are your paw paw’s legacy. In you he lives on in the world…
 
And, of course, it is dad’s faith that takes a lot of the pain from our saying goodbye to him. He believed that, when we die, we are with the Lord…So that’s where he is. God has brought one of his sons home…
 
Dad worked as a purchasing agent for Georgia Power for 22 years. The loved the work and all the great people he worked with. He worked 4 10-hour days every week – driving 1 ½ hours each way… but he never missed a day unless he was totally out of commission. He was the kind of man who knew all his vendors by name, got to know about their lives and their families and remembered even their phone numbers… Dad retired at age 62 and took on a new career – youth football and baseball, coaching, cheering for the grandkids teams, packing in as many of their activities as he could…
 
Dad always loved hunting and fishing (he was, as you know, a real ‘mans man’). He loved picking weeds and taking pictures (he had a real talent for that – amazing sunsets, beautiful flowers – capturing memories…). Dad loved playing golf… I’ll always remember him going out to play, wearing crocs…He and mom loved to travel – they went everywhere. They loved seeing new things and meeting new people wherever they went.
 
They had this thing at restaurants. They’d split a meal, but in the course of ordering and being served and checked up on, they invariably got to know their waitress or waiter so well that they became practically a part of the family.
 
One of the things we will all miss most about dad was his way of smiling at you and just looking at you and knowing that you were thinking exactly what he was thinking. Josh called is a ‘mischievous grin.’ It could have meant we were poking fun at something or somebody (ha, we would never do that). But what I always knew it really meant was, not only do I have your back, but I love you dearly. We’re together in this…
 
And I’ll miss watching him make his favorite dessert: Melting his vanilla ice cream just right in the microwave and adding not two (but never more than 4 Chips Ahoys into it.. crumbled them up perfectly...  And it has to be Mayfield ice cream... Breyers just wouldn’t do…
 
          And 4th of July fireworks. Lighting the fuses with his cigarette – perhaps not the safest way to do it… but we had wonderful times…
 
          Then quitting smoking cold-turkey and substituting those red fireball candies. Ten a day!
 
          And, of course, when we would play ball and he’d be pitching – a baseball or a wiffle ball – always having that toothpick in his mouth and a spare in his pocket…
 
          So many wonderful memories of a wonderful man – a wonderful father… a wonderful husband and grandfather and friend…
 
          Dad – you were the best. You will ALWAYS hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you – all you were and the amazing example you set – and we will love you forever.
 

 
Jeffry A.
Some people have all the luck… some don’t. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme nor reason as to who gets good things in their lives and who doesn’t. I am one of the lucky ones. I had my dad in my life – a man whom I loved more than anything in this entire world. He was a man who did the best he could with what he had and I’m pretty sure that, any of us, being in his shoes, couldn’t be as strong as he was all his life. I wish I could go back to before he left us and tell him how proud I am to be called his daughter and he my dad. I wish I could go back and give him all the love and comfort he deserved… But, of course, I can’t. I’m hoping he can hear my words today…
 
Dad was not one of the lucky ones. He had so many obstacles to overcome all his life. It seemed like they came, one after the other, in a constant flow, all his life – culminating in several decades of chronic and constant pain… Yet, through all that, dad was a man of integrity and goodness. He was an empathetic man, caring, and loyal – especially after his pain started… He was a good man…
 
A few years ago, I was in a dark place. I was sad – depressed – I was in grief over someone I had lost. Dad knocked on my door, one day, and asked me to go outside with him to plant some tulips. He said he needed me for figuring out which colors should go where – so they wouldn’t look tasteless. He needed some aesthetic advice and planting help.
 
Planting tulips was the LAST thing I wanted to do. But I did. He needed me… We planted those tulips together, not exactly being silent, but quietly, for quite some time. And my sadness lifted a little, at least for that time. The healing of my heart began. I could, for the first time in days, begin to see beauty in the world again… Thank you dad, for being there for me – for knowing what I needed – for brightening my day and my world in those hours…
 
As I look back on dad’s life, I remember him, when we were young, to be quite a talkative man. In fact, as I recall, he talked non-stop. He was loud. He was sometimes silly. He was full of energy…
 After his injury, he became a different man – quieter, a worrier – anxious… But with those changes came something else. Dad became an amazing listener. You could go to him with anything that might be on your mind and he would listen, without judgement. Then, he’d share his wisdom with you… This past year I’ve missed that listening ear immensely – and his wise counsel…
 
Dad had the greenest thumb. Under his care, all kinds of things would grow and flourish. He loved being out there in his flower beds or garden, watering, weeding and feeding – and watching thing grow…
 
And he loved to fish. Being out on the water in the early morning or fishing from the dock brought him a deep sense of peace. There was nothing like catching a big one and fighting to land it. He was always thrilled when he was victorious.
 
Dad was the kind of neighbor we all would like to have. He’d jump in and help with projects any of his neighbors were working on. He’d lend tools. He’d share his knowledge… If a neighbor was gone, dad would gladly keep an eye on their place…He was a fierce father for two girls growing up. In his older years he was a gentle man who’d do anything for you…
 
I sometimes think I wasn’t the greatest of daughters. I should have taken better care of him. I should have been there for him when he was lonely and hurting. I should have known how to make his life a little easier… But, even as I think those things, I know he understood and loved me and each of us as only he could. Dad was always there for us. He was the one who taught us, by example, how to love one another as family – how to be family through the good times and the bad … No doubt the best lesson any of us could learn…
 
Dad – we already miss you. You will forever hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you always.
 
Someone once said,
 
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
 
I’d like to finish with a poem, titled “Five Minutes.” By Annmarie Campbell
If I only had five minutes
the day you passed away,
I would have had time to tell you
all the things I needed to say.

I never got to tell you
how much you mean to me
or that you were the best dad,
better than any man could be.

The last time I talked to you,
I wish I would have known.
I would have said I love you
and kept you on the phone.

If I only had five minutes the morning you passed away,
I'd give you one last hug so tight and see your great big smile.
I'd tell you that I don't think I could live without you,
not even for a while.

I'd kiss your cheek and take your hand
and tell you it's okay to go
and tell you that I'll miss you
more than you'll ever know.

But you were gone so quickly.
One last car ride you'd take.
Before you even knew it,
you were standing at heaven's gate.

Now God has called upon you.
It's time to get your wings,
To leave this life behind you,
And enjoy all of heaven's beautiful things.

So wait for me in heaven, Dad.
Don't let me come alone.
The day the angels come for me,
Please be there to bring me home.
 

Jerry R.
Our parents were married for 57 years. That’s quite a long time – over half a century. Paige and I had the opportunity to watch that marriage literally all our lives. What we saw was love. We saw devotion and caring and laughter and enjoyment. We saw a few times of stress and tension, but those were always short-lived and always undergirded with genuine respect and love. Who Paige and I are, we learned from mom and dad. We saw, first hand, what marriage should look like, and have tried hard to emulate our parents relationship…
 
I can honestly say that Paige and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved. Dad, of course, was a primary source of that affection. He was, for both of us, a constant source of protection. At times, I would have said he might have been overprotective, but he was always there. He always had a way of making us feel safe and taken care of when he was around.
 
One of the things dad loved most in life was travel. When we were growing up, dad did a lot of it. He would, typically, leave home on a Sunday or Monday and be gone all week. I remember, in high school, anxiously awaiting the Friday night football games. I’d be performing, with my cheer-leading squad, on the sidelines and, at some point during the game, dad would appear in the stands and wave – letting me know he was home, safely. Seeing him there was always one of the highlights of the game….
 
You’d think that, traveling for work, dad would want to never leave home in his free time. Not so! Dad and mom and Paige and I were always going on amazing vacations. Dad planned them out in detail and we always had a great time. We did a lot of travel in the U.S. and all over the world. Mom once put together a list of where she and dad had been, noting those places Paige and I were along. I counted 19 trips where I was with them – in the years before I graduated from college – including eight European countries and three vacations to Hawaii! Dad loved every minute of every trip (and we did, too)…
 
In addition (and these times weren’t ‘technically’ vacations) – In addition, dad loved taking us boating on Lake Texoma. Being out on the water, under the sun, all of us together… On those days dad was as happy as a man can be… And I can so vividly see the perpetual smile on his face when were out there…
 
Dad was always a sweet, caring, protective father. He’d do anything for us (and we could sometimes sweet-talk him into doing things he wouldn’t have ordinarily done). But that was dad. His life was dedicated to giving mom and us the best lives we could possibly have. And, I’ve got to say, he truly succeeded in that. We had everything we ever needed and most things we wanted – and all in the context of being grateful for it all…
 
Dad had an amazing sense of humor. One of the joys of his life was making people laugh. He wasn’t the kind of man who sought the center of attention, but his humor tended to put him there, sometimes. In reality, he was quite humble and always kind. His jokes would never be at the expense of others...that wouldn’t have been in keeping with who he was.
 
Dad had a bit of the artist in him. Even though he would never acknowledge it, he was, really, a pretty good painter. He enjoyed it and never really showed his work to many people, but if you saw some of his paintings, you’d see some real talent there…
 
And dad was a collector… While going through their house for an estate sale a few years ago, I started remembering all of the collections he had for himself and for us and started making a list. He had wooden boat figurines; he had decorative birds of many species; he had geod rocks and stones - many with fossils in them; he had ornate saddles for horse back riding (he loved horses). He had a wooden nutcracker collection that he collected for me. He had a snow globe collection for Paige, a Christmas snow village for my mom. Probably his favorite was a gun collection, which I chose to never see. That one rather scared me…  Looking back, I even realized that there was one other collection he had that I wasn’t aware was a collection at the time… When I was in junior high and, for the next few years, dad bought me a total of 7 Shelton ponies! See – HE loved horses and I got the ponies!
 
These past few years have not been easy ones for mom and dad. Their lives were so full of travel and activities and family fun… So much of that faded away in recent years…so sad to see… But those memories are still there – in Paige and me and our photo albums and in our hearts.
 
Dad was an amazing man. We have been so very fortunate to have had him in our lives…
 
Dad – thank you for all you were and the joy you brought to the world. Thank you for being the best father two girls could have. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will NEVER forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
John F.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for joining us today as we say a final farewell to dad. Mom, Lindsay, and I have received so many cards and emails and phone calls with words of encouragement and sympathy… Every one of those have been greatly appreciated. Thank you.
 
During this past year, while dad was going through so many procedures and treatments, he was overwhelmed with the kindness of neighbors and friends. I think that so many, doing so much, gave him the courage and motivation to go on. He wanted nothing more than to be able to live to return the favors extended to him – to so many who took care of the lawn and house while he was out of town receiving treatment, his brother and sister-in-law who took care of his dog when he was no longer able to. He was, literally, moved to tears by the outpouring of support – emotional and practical – that he and mom received. He thought of all of you as family throughout his illness.
 
And, of course, dad appreciated mom so much. She worked tirelessly to manage his increasingly complicated care needs. Mom, you were amazing through all this. Dad loved you SO much…
 
Dad wouldn’t want us to gather today remembering him with only sadness. One of his major goals in life was to bring a bit of laughter into all of our lives every day… and he was a master at doing that…
 
Dad was born to bring smiles. He often told stories of his growing up years, when he and his brothers gave their mother a run for her money. The three of them learned the joy of playing practical jokes when they were just boys (in fact, one of dad’s greatest days, with his grandkids, was giving them their first whoopie cushions and teaching them, over Facetime, how to use them). Dad and his brothers loved to discreetly (or maybe not so discreetly) make fun or their mother’s dinner guests… I’m sure they embarrassed her to no end…They were famous for flinging vegetables across the table at one another…
 
          When dad was a teenager, he frequently acted as the designated “adult” when his younger brother, Jamie, had his drivers permit. One day, Jamie and dad headed for the New Hartford Shopping Center to cash a paycheck, and Jamie, accidently, ‘tapped’ another car in the parking lot as they were leaving. Jamie, being the angel that he is, wanted to stop and take responsibility for the incident. Older brother, dad, being the wise and responsible ‘adult,’ encouraged him to flee the scene as quickly as possible… They did. Their mother never found out.
 
          Christmas was always a wonderful time for our family. On Christmas morning, we’d always be awed by the myriad of presents under the tree – hundreds, it seemed. And when we opened them, we often burst out laughing. Dad would wrap up junk from the basement and stash it under the tree (in addition to the many real presents we received). He was even known for wrapping up gifts for himself… A present from the ‘Yankees’ or the ‘Giants,’ or ‘The Boys’ (the title he gave to his two dogs Gunther and Tucker).
 
          Dad loved those dogs. He loved to spoil them and tended to push the limits with mom, allowing them into more and more spaces in the house. Dad loved those dogs so much that he would take each of ‘The Boys’ for their own personal golf cart ride up to and around the clearing at camp every evening before bed.
 
          But as much as dad loved those dogs, I’m pretty sure he loved mom and Lindsay and me even more. I can honestly say that Lindsay and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved by our dad. We never knew a day when he didn’t bring laughter into our house or a day when being around him didn’t make us just a bit happier… One of the things he was famous for saying was a quote from his Catholic school days. He’d quote Sister Raymond Marie… “Consider the source…and ignore it.” He thought that the most profound wisdom he had ever heard…
 
          Dad’s deepest joy and love had to be for his grandkids, Isabel, Isaiah, and Everest. He absolutely adored them and they were obsessed with him. He had nicknames for each and he was always coming up with songs and games associated with them. He loved buying them books and toys related to their interests… For example, he recently spent the morning looking up YouTube videos of different natural disasters, knowing that Isabel is obsessed with tornados and other extreme weather events.,,  While he was in the emergency department of the hospital, he asked a nurse for latex gloves and other medical equipment for Izzie to add to her doctor kit. His Amazon cart was always full of items he knew Isaiah would find useful – a globe last Christmas, a watch for his fourth birthday, last month. He recently made sure EJ had garbage truck pajamas and attempted to stop at every dumpster or waste management building he could to take pictures to send to him .
 
          They are all so young. Their memories of their grandfather will be rather shadowy as they get older. But I hope that each of them will, nonetheless, inherit some of dad’s best qualities – his joy for life, his optimism, some of the grace and courage he was able to show during his difficult days, his ability to make others laugh, his never being over concerned with the small stuff of life… his love for others… If they can develop even a few of dad’s traits, they will be the most fortunate people on earth.
 
          Dad heard a speech given by Jimmy Valvano from 1993 that he really appreciated. It was a speech that suggested that there are three ingredients to a successful day: 1) Laugh every day, 2) spend some time in thought, and 3) do something that moves you, emotionally. Not a bad philosophy: Laugh, Think, Feel every day…  Consequently, even in the dark days, dad was never grumpy or complaining. Somehow, he was always the one who made us feel calm… Jimmy V went on to say, “Don't give up. Don't ever give up.” Dad said, “And that's what I'm going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have…. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind. It cannot touch my heart. And it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.” What an amazing man he was…
 
          Dad started out as a car salesman. In fact, that’s how he met mom. Her mother was car shopping and dad was the handsome salesman she told mom about and whom she HAD to meet. They were married for 43 years! …And to see them together always made you want to have a relationship like theirs… love and laughter and sharing – and more love…
 
But dad’s 30 year career was in banking. He retired just last year… I recently asked him what he enjoyed the most about his work, He didn’t hesitate. He quickly answered that it was making connections with his coworkers and clients. His coworkers were like an extended family, to him. He loved them all… I know that several are here today – Thank you for loving dad like he loved you. Thank you for always being there for him…
 
          At work, dad was noted for having a chaotic desk – totally disorganized (not exactly what you expect of a banker). His desk was SO disorganized that he’d usually meet with clients in a “hosting” office rather than his own… But if you DID get into dad’s office, you could bet there would be a five pound stash of peanut M&M’s somewhere within arms reach.
 
          Dad loved golf, reading, hunting with his father-in-law (grandpa was certainly one of dad’s best friends). He loved teasing his wife and daughters. He loved spending time at camp on Raquette Lake (he was never more at peace and happier than when he was there). He loved watching the Yankees and the Giants. He loved brightening everyone’s day. That was dad…
 
          One of dad’s super powers was learning and remembering people’s names. If he met you for the second time, he would greet you by name as though you were old friends. Even in his last days, he’d check the name tags of nurses and aides and thank them for all they were doing…and he’d call them by name. 
 
          The staff at Abraham House (where he spent his final 36 hours) gave us a plaque with beautiful words after dad’s death. I’d like to share those words:
A death has occurred, and everything is changed by this event.
We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again, that yesterday is over, that a relationship once rich has ended.
But there is another way to look upon this truth.
If life went on the same without the presence of John we could only conclude that his life made no contribution, filled no space, meant nothing.
The fact that John left behind a place that cannot be filled is a
high tribute to him.
Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost—but never
after the loss of a treasure.
 
          Dad was a treasure. Everyone who knew him loved him. He was the best.
 
          Dad… You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will NEVER forget you and we will love you forever. Thank you for all you were and how you impacted so many of our lives… May your example of joy and courage and love be with us always.
 

 
Joseph J.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to our father. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement to one of us or to mom... Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          These past few years have been difficult ones for dad. He was losing his memories and his personality was changing. His vocabulary suddenly found words that never crossed his lips in earlier years. But he was dad. In these past years, dad and mom lived with our oldest brother, Jorge. Jorge – you deserve at least two halos when you get to heaven. You did SO much and were SO good with dad. Thank you for all you did to make his life good. You are one of God’s angels.
 
          Most of dad’s life was much different than in recent years. When he retired, I helped him write his retirement letter to his patient’s parents – many of them having been his patients, themselves when they were kids. There was an outpouring of letters that came in after that. People telling him how much he meant to them and how wonderful he was and how lost they would be without him.
 
          Dad got letters throughout his career – wonderful, touching letters. I’ve read some of them…In some of the most poignant ones, the parents had lost a child and yet, at that worst point of their lives, they felt compelled to reach out to dad and express how much he meant to them and express appreciation for his wonderful compassion and concern for them. THAT was our dad for 90% of his life… a man who was caring and patient and knowledgeable and kind in every way… A man who touched lives and healed children, who cared for people, always.
 
          Mom and dad met in Mexico City at a Posada party. Mom, apparently, had her eye on someone else, but dad would not let her out of his sight the whole evening and eventually won her over. They were married for 69 years!
 
          And what a wonderful life they lived… They traveled the world – all over Europe, into Mexico many times, the Orient... Dad especially loved our National Parks. We went with them on several of their trips. We went to Yellowstone, the Redwoods, Glacier... Dad loved hiking the trails (he was a fitness enthusiast and never missed his exercise routine unless he was on vacation). He would never miss the Forest Ranger talks on those trips or the souvenir shops. He LOVED souvenirs…
 
          As you know, if you knew dad at all, he had an obsession with cars, so family vacations almost always involved long road trips… and you had better have everything you need on the road, because dad had a mission – a goal – a destination -  and there would be no stops along the way for anything but food and gas.
 
One of my fondest memories, as a child, is of being in the front seat on some of those trips, talking for hours, into the night, with dad, while the rest of the family slept in back. We talked about anything and everything. I can’t tell you any particular topic, but that didn’t matter. Dad and I, alone, talking, enjoying one another – dad and his only daughter… it was wonderful…
 
Dad had a Lotus, with which he had a love/hate relationship. He hated that it broke down constantly, but he loved the beauty of the car and the challenge of trying to fix it himself – sometimes with success and sometimes not. He spent SO many hours in the garage fooling around with his cars…
 
One of mom's pet peeves was that he'd be under his car, doing a repair, and realize he needed something from the store, a screw or something, and he'd hop in the good car, with his greasy t-shirt and all, and inevitably, he'd run into one of his patients. It didn’t bother him. He saw it as a way of relating outside the office – for them to see him as more than just a doctor…mom wasn’t sure that was such a good idea…
 
I remember riding with him in the Lotus through some incredibly winding roads in Mexico. But when he was behind the wheel, I was never nervous, even on those dangerous, curvy roads, with no guardrails, where you could look down and see hundreds of feet below. Dad was an outstanding driver… he even went to the Bob Bondurant car racing school in Monterrey and did some racing – placing in some and winning at least one car detailing award…So he was, really, an outstanding, skilled, driver…
 
I always had the impression that dad was one of the best pediatricians in Houston. He was in practice with doctors Merlene M., Joe B., Waldo M. and Ian K.. He loved what he did – so patient and always calm. I used to walk into his office sometimes and hear those babies screaming and wonder how in the world he could handle that every day… But again, that was dad…
 
The six of us gave mom and dad ten grandkids: Patia, Carl, Lila, Niki, Chase, Nic, Carina, Carla, Charlie, Robbie (it was great having our own pediatrician in the family – any emergency, day or nigh – dad got a call).

          I hope that all ten of you will see much of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see his amazing work ethic, his sense of humor, his kindness and patience, his love for family and his determination to build something and be successful. I hope you’ll see his faith in your own lives (he was in church every Sunday and every day during Lent – a man who loved God…) YOU are your grandfather’s legacy. In you, he lives on in the world…
 
          And I know we’ll all always remember some of the family gatherings at Papi and _____’s house. Remember how he didn’t really care for board games, yet, with enough encouragement he’d join in? …And how his drawings in Pictionary and Telestration or his choices in Apples to Apples kept us in stitches? He would make us laugh for hours – so much so that our stomach’s would hurt… Wonderful memories…
 
          Another memory – dad and mom dancing together. They’d get together with Gloria and Jesus A. and go to a medical dinner or function, or a wedding…  they were both awesome dancers and clearly were having a wonderful time…
 
One of the things dad always did was to rhyme words together – just randomly rhyme words – an awesome and strange skill. That was one thing his dementia didn’t take from him – in fact, it seemed to ramp it up. . He would, sometimes, get on a roll, and could come up with dozens of words that rhymed. It was really something – and all in Spanish.

          Our dad was one of the best men I’ve ever known. He was a great husband and father. He was an exceptional pediatrician. He was a faithful Christian man. He had a smile that could brighten a room. He was a wonderful role model…
 
Dad – we’re going to miss you. Your life was long and filled with good things and good people. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Ken M.
          Memories – especially good memories – are probably the greatest inheritance a man can leave to those he loved. And dad left TONS of memories for all of us. Dad was a caring, sensible man who loved people and having a good laugh. Always positive – a great sense of humor – wise. I could always run ideas and plans passed dad and expect a good, logical response. I’m pretty sure that the five us, his kids, would never have achieved what we have in life without his support and encouragement along the way…
 
          As I look back on his life, I realize some of the sacrifices he made. It HAD to be tough raising five kids alone. All those years he was totally dedicated to us. He’d go to work by day and be our full-time dad by night. He’d clean the house, do grocery shopping, cook meals and clean up afterward.
 
He’d take us to our activities and events and rehearsals and practices… I remember so clearly being at a baseball game or playing soccer and there, on the sidelines, was old dad, standing there watching patiently, sometimes, even, in the rain.
 
I’m pretty sure that most dads would have lost it if they had to put up with some of the craziness we put him through. But dad’s patience was epic. He almost never lost his temper. The worst his anger might get was him muttering, almost below his breath, “Oh, for Christ sakes Douglas.” Or, to John, who was never at a loss for words, “John, now shut up John, that’s enough!” How many times did you hear that, John?
 
Then there was the time dad had to break up a fight that Andrew got into at a BC Lions game… the ‘siphoning’ incident – the family station wagon getting totaled by an apparent stranger… Andrew, Doug, John, Mary, and I all tested dad’s patience repeatedly in different ways, so dad got a taste of just about anything kids can come up with.
 
I’ll never forget sitting in the back seat while dad was teaching John to drive. John took a corner too wide and was quickly heading for a ditch. Dad grabbed the steering wheel and saved us. I think John is still denying that we were ever in any danger…
 
We were so proud of dad. Every morning he’d put on a suit and tie and head off to the office. I always think of those days when I smell ‘Old Spice.’ He’d get into his prized Plymouth Fury and head downtown. When we were kids, we’d sometimes visit him at his office, I can still remember the pride we would feel getting off the elevator and walking through all the cubicles of people to his corner office, which was the only one on the top floor. We knew he was really a “big shot” as the Finance Director of the Ministry of Health…
 
          Dad’s success at work and in life came as a result of him being a man who was anything but lazy. He would always get up in the morning and just get things done.   He was always involved with something and never just sat around. Whether that was reading the newspaper, doing tax returns, going somewhere – he was always on the move – always making the most of his time – being productive.
 
          As a kid, I had a sizable paper route. If it was raining, dad got up before the sun and drove me around so I wouldn’t have to get soaked delivering my papers. One of my customers was a little old lady who lived in an old house in a wooded area, down a winding driveway. For some, irrational, reason, I was scared of her. I asked dad to go with me to collect from her. He did, of course. When I knocked on her door, dad was there beside me. I know it amused him. He tried, unsuccessfully, to convince me that she really was a very nice woman…
 
          One summer, dad decided he’d take us all to Disneyland in a motor home. I remember us ending up in some pretty dodgy parts of Los Angeles, pulled over to the side of the road, dad studying the map, trying to figure out where we went wrong. It’s SO much easier with the internet and GPS these days. But dad did what he had to do – get us to the happiest place on earth.
 
          Then there was the famous ski trip. Poor Dad didn’t really want to ski, but felt pressured by all of us to go. After an hour of lessons, dad got onto a chair lift with great trepidation. When he got to the top of the mountain, he failed to get off at the right moment, so, as the chairlift turned to go back down the hill, an operator yelled at him,  “jump off,” and he somehow ended up in a giant snow drift – unharmed, but resigned, at that point, to never ski again.
 
          We had many great trips in our camper to Pacific Playground up in Port Alberni, and fishing up there.  Somehow dad managed to survive in our small camper with a bunch of kids.  We would often visit Port Alberni to see our great uncles John and Tom, whom my Dad thoroughly enjoyed.   He had many great childhood memories of spending summers at the Cherry Creek farm with them.  
 
          One of my greatest memories and one I’m most proud of, was when dad would invite me along on some of his road trips. He called me his ‘swamper.’ During those long trips (for business) we’d talk for hours, both going and coming back. Wonderful times - a young man and his dad – in so many ways his hero… Laughing, talking, sharing our lives and insights and issues…
 
          You grandkids have been so fortunate to have known your grandfather – to talk with him and share your lives. He was SO proud of every one of you. I’m pretty sure that the days on which each of you were born were the most joyous of his life. I hope you will all see a lot of him in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see his sense of humor, his dedication to family, his work ethic, his kindness, his wisdom. YOU are his legacy in the world and, in you, his life goes on…
 
          Dad – you were a remarkable man. It has been an honor for some of us to call you ‘dad,’ for others to call you ‘grandpa,’ and others to call you, ‘friend.’ You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Martin B.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have reached out to mom or Marty, David, Annamarie, or me, with cards or emails or calls expressing your sympathy and encouraging us. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Dad was the son of an Italian immigrant who fully realized the American Dream. He worked hard. He built a successful business. He had a loving family – married to the love of his life for 66 years. He retired to Florida to play golf, to be on the water, and to live the good life…
 
Dad was a story teller. I’m sure that he, like all good story tellers, embellished them a bit, but the stories he told were always wonderful. I’ll never forget watching and listening to him telling stories to the grandkids – about his mischievous youth. He’d have them all laughing out loud and totally enjoying his adventures… and, in those times, surrounded by his grandkids, he was as happy as a man could be.
 
Dad would tell stories of how he used to work two jobs – at the age of 8. He worked at his dad’s store and his uncles. One day he rebelled and told his dad he wanted to work only for him. Grandpa was from the old school and thought dad just wanted to get out of work, but he allowed it…
 
Dad made the school basketball team, but his father just couldn’t understand why kids had to play games. Kids were supposed to work – not play sports. What was the point of ‘playing!” In fact, when dad got a little older – 14 I think, his dad had him get a driver’s license because he couldn’t drive, himself, (he had to lie about his age), and he needed dad to drive him to Pittsburgh every weekend to buy inventory for the clothing store.
 
A lot of dad’s stories were about the adventures (mischief) he and Uncle Patsy got into when they were young. Late into the night, they’d be out. Dad would hang out while Uncle Patsy gambled… I imagine that, if grandpa caught them, they’d have been in big trouble.
 
He’d tell stories about being in the Army. He was drafted to serve during the Korean War. He figured, though, that if he requested an assignment they needed here and not over there, he could stay stateside. So that’s what he did – never did see Korea during his two-year stint.
 
Dad was kind of a wheeler-dealer back in those days. He’d tell us that he’d sometimes bribe a sergeant with clothes from the family store to get time off. But he was an asset, too. He would make deals on base, with other divisions, for needed supplies in return for favors. He knew how to work with people to gently and satisfactorily get what he wanted… And he was so gregarious and wonderful to be around, no one minded…
 
Uncle Leonard was the match maker who got mom and dad together. The family was concerned that dad was getting old (27) and wasn’t settling down. Uncle Leonard kept trying to get him together with mom, but dad knew what was going on and would have none of it. He had a hundred excuses to NOT meet her. But when Uncle Leonard told dad to put a wedding on his calendar for six months down the road, dad couldn’t have an excuse that far out… He met mom and he was hooked. Mom, I hear, was a bit resistant, but dad eventually got her to go out… They had 66 wonderful years together. To see them together, made everyone want what they had… love and laughter and joy…
 
Four kids:  Marty, David, Annamarie, and me. Eight grandkids: Lauren, Alex, Marka, Lena, Morgan, Ricky, Matteo, and Joseph… And 10 great grandkids… Dad loved them all. I’m pretty sure that the days on which each were born were the most joyous of his life. Seeing the little ones – he next generation – thrilled him…
 
          I do hope that all of you grandkids and great grandkids will see a lot of your grandfather in yourselves as you grow older. I hope you’ll see his wonderful imagination and love of laughter. I hope you’ll see his work ethic and devotion to family. I hope you’ll see his gregarious nature and ability to value and talk to anybody. I hope you’ll see his faith. YOU are your grandfather’s legacy to the world. In you, his life goes on…
 
          I didn’t start working with my father as young as he did for his. I started working with him when I was 9. I’d empty ash trays and garbage cans and pick up things from the floor and do whatever else he needed me to do. At 12 I started traveling with him on buying trips to New York. Those were wonderful times – being away – having dad to myself – feeling very grown up and important. Dad, literally, taught me everything I know about the clothing business. …And our conversations on those long trips bonded us like nothing else could…
 
          When I was 19, were on our way home from a buying trip, on the plane, and he, out of the blue, says to me, “This is my last trip. I’m giving you the business. I’m done.” At first, I didn’t think he was serious, but he was totally serious. From that point on, he was a retired young man enjoying his life in sunny Florida, while golfing daily with his friends. It was a good life and one he thoroughly embraced. He had done what he wanted to do. He had taken over his father’s business, a working man’s clothing store, and transformed it into Biafora’s Men’s Wear, a clothing store with fine suits and men’s apparel. He had worked hard. He had earned his retirement.
 
One of the things that prompted his retirement was that he had discovered the joys and frustrations of golf… Up until then, work was his life… but golf changed it all. He became a golfing fanatic… Now he was ready to enjoy life to the fullest. (By the way - - His life could have been SO MUCH different. He started out, in college, in pre-dentistry. Most people didn’t know that had been his original goal – to be a dentist. …glad he didn’t go that direction).
 
          Dad’s retirement years were filled with sunshine and good friends. He’d be out on the golf course as often as he could. If not there, you could find him out on the water in his boat. If not there, he’d be off traveling somewhere with mom and good friends…
 
          I will always remember those times, when I was a kid, driving the boat, with dad and mom and their friends, slowly cruising the lake, listening to Dean Martin or Sinatra. They were having a great time. I was falling asleep…
 
          We’d be out on Cheal Lake every day, all summer long, on the boat and skiing… In the winter, dad and mom would take us snow skiing at Seventy Springs. Dad, himself, didn’t ski – but knowing we loved it, was all that mattered… We had a wonderful father… So many sacrifices he made for us that, to him, were no sacrifices at all, because he loved us…
 
          I was with dad every day for years and never really told him how much I loved him or how much I appreciated all he taught me and how much I admired the kind of man he was. I assumed he knew. I hope he knew…
 
          Dad – I’m saying it now. You were an amazing husband, father, grandfather, mentor, and friend. You will always hold a place in all our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Octavio L.
I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to our father. So many of you have reached out with cards or emails or phone calls, expressing your sympathy and giving words of encouragement. Every one of those has been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Our parents were remarkable people. They had pretty good lives back in the Philippines. They were doing well and life was good. We could have all been happy and comfortable there for our entire lifetimes. But dad knew (and mom, too), that even a privileged life in the Philippines has limitations, and they wanted more for Jose and me. So they bought tickets, packed up two bags, and, with Jose and I in tow, left it all behind.
 
Dad was intensely proud of his two kids. He reveled in anything we might accomplish. He thought that me being the first in our family to get a degree (earning an international post-graduate degree) and Jose being a career military man was about the best things a father could hope for. Dad had served in Vietnam, so knew how important Jose’s job is. Jose and dad didn’t always see eye-to-eye on things, but Jose always KNEW dad was proud of him and his being in the military.
 
Dad and mom’s friends were always puzzled as to why they worked so hard to make sure we were well educated and spent so much time to groom us for the future…
 
It was because dad and mom loved us more than anything in the world and wanted nothing more in their lives than to see us succeed.
 
Here is the kind of dad we had: When I was a Branksome Hall, we had an annual ‘father/daughter’ dance. It was a formal affair, but they did have, during the evening, a dance competition. For weeks before the event, every night, after school, dad would be waiting for me at home, to practice our ‘moves.’ We’d practice the ‘jive’ and the ‘cha-cha’ until we had every step down to perfection… and we’d win every year – bragging rights and a tee shirt. Dad was SO competitive… and he loved to play the underdog card – a small man – quiet – a kindly face – but ready and willing to out dance anyone!
 
Dad was a charmer. He was a pretty quiet man, but everyone loved him… I remember that, once, at one of my semi-regional volleyball games, his true personality came out… The game was almost over. The score was tied and the next serve by the opposition would win or lose the game. Everyone in the gym was silent and still in anticipation of victory or defeat for their team. In the midst of that momentary tension, suddenly, dad stands up with his hands up in the air waving them around like pom poms, and shouts, “Go Braksome! go number 7! Whoo Whooo!" It was SO inappropriate. But there was this little Filipino man, cheering, while everyone else is silent… But dad broke the tension and everyone – spectators, players, even the refs, started laughing. It was an amazing thing…
 
When Jose was traveling with his high school band in the United States, they were playing at the Pier in San Francisco. They had finished their set and dad came up behind Jose, waving his hands in the air and shouting, “Surprise!” Jose was in shock – in disbelief! Dad and mom had travelled almost 3000 miles to hear him play!… Dad was always showing up for things – big or small. He was our greatest cheer leader and most loyal fan…
 
After Jose and me, dad’s deepest love was for my kids. Mireya spent tons of time with mom and dad for the first few years of her life – before she started pre-school. Annalise, obviously younger, couldn’t spend that kind of time but dad loved both immensely. My hope for them both is that they will grow up and inherit many of dad’s characteristics. I hope they’ll have his work ethic and his sense of priorities. I hope they’ll have his love for tradition, his love for education, his tenacity and his loyalty… I hope they’ll inherit his and mom’s faith…
 
Our parent’s faith WAS very important to them. It formed who they were and their whole approach to life. They went to mass every day. During the pandemic they attended online… They loved this church and the people here and the values proclaimed. They loved the God who we worship in this place…
 
Mom and dad’s life work was with __[name of company]__. It’s a placement agency that provides nurses and personal support workers to the elderly.
 
Back when they started __[name of company]__, much of existing homecare had deplorable working conditions. The majority of personal support workers and nurses tend to be Filipino. Dad wanted to make the system better. Through my parents agency, their employees were valued. They were assigned to families who would treat them with respect not take advantage of them.
 
In addition, dad and mom helped their employees work through family-reunification government programs, as needed –  helping them sponsor their families to come to Canada.
 
I remember, when growing up, I felt like our house might have been a part of the Filipino underground railroad. We were constantly having new caregivers live with us, for a while, as they transitioned into Canadian life…
 
Dad and mom’s hospitality and training and counsel all made for better care for their elderly clients, helping them live better lives in their ending years and better lives for their employees, too… Everybody won!
 
For the past several years, mom and dad needed the very services they provided to others. They needed someone around the clock for the past several years. Jose, the wonderful son that he is, was stationed in Alberta, but asked for a transfer here… where he spent the last four years taking the night shift with mom and dad… Jose – thank you SO much for being there for mom and dad. You have been amazing! Your dedication and sacrifice is SO MUCH appreciated. I could have never done all that you so willingly did. Thank you.
 
Dad would never forgive me if I didn’t mention some of those wonderful women who cared for him and mom over these years:
 
Regena (please stand up) – Regena had a way of making dad laugh at the simplicities in daily life - to keep his spirits up and his mind young. Thank you, Regana. You are wonderful!
 
Adrian (please stand up) - Adrian treated our father like his own with his caring and kind bedside manner. His invaluable experience with diabetic patients helped us navigate through our father’s medication regimes – so much so that he was able to get dad off insulin through diet, thus improving his daily quality of life. Adrian – thank you for taking such good care of dad.
 
And then there is Noemi (please stand up, Noemi)  – Noemi has been a part of our lives and considered a friend for over 30 years and has been by dad’s side every step of the way… During the past year and a half, she has been with dad and mom on weekends, even though she is in retirement. Dad was so comfortable with her and always loved having her around. Noemi – you were, truly, dad’s angel… Thank you. Thank you. Thank you… You are the best!
 
          All of these dear caregivers have been mom and dad’s angels. Thank you all so much for all you did to enrich and make our parents final years good ones. May God richly bless you.
 
          …And I hope that each of the wonderful people who cared for dad will always think of him when they stop by a Tim Horton’s and hear him say, in their imaginations, that classic line, “Don’t forget my Tim Horton’s – double cream, no sugar!”
 
          Dad – you always taught us to face whatever comes our way with dignity and perseverance. You taught us that, when we’re down, to get up, brush ourselves off, and go at it again… Losing you is so hard. It brings us down. But you taught us that life goes on – and it will. But you will ALWAYS hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and all you did. We will love you forever.
 

 
Paul B.
          I’d like to thank you all for being here today as we remember dad’s life and honor him and say a final farewell. So many of you have sent cards or emails. So many have called mom or one of us to express your sympathy – to give encouragement, and to let us know you are keeping us in your prayers. Thank you. All of those have been very much appreciated.
 
          Dad left us so suddenly that we are all still in a bit of shock. He was doing well, then, suddenly, God called him home.
 
          That’s one of the wonderful things about having a father, husband, grandfather or friend who was a man of God. We are confident that he is with his Lord and that, when our time comes, we will see him again.
 
          That doesn’t make losing him less sad, of course. We will so much miss his sense of humor, his passion for the gospel, his energy and his wonderful optimism…
 
          Dad grew up in Jamaica – his family was terribly poor. But he was determined to have a better life, so worked hard and made his way to the United States to attend Columbia University. His plan was to study medicine.
 
          He never became a doctor (at least not a medical doctor). Dad sold insurance for a while. He sold cars – worked at a furniture store… Dad was a people person and could talk to just about anybody about anything, so being in sales was perfect for him. He loved to talk and engage people – to find out about their lives and what kinds of thing they were thinking about. And anyone who carried on a conversation long enough with dad, eventually heard about Jesus. All conversations lead to Jesus eventually… Dad loved to quote St. Francis of Assisi (and lived by this quote). He said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words, if necessary.” Dad used a lot of words, but his life truly was one which showed God’s love in everything he did or said…
 
          God called dad to the ministry. He attended Dallas Theological Seminary where he earned his Master of Divinity degree, then went on to earn his Doctorate of Ministry degree. He founded Ambassador International Ministries and lead numerous mission trips to Jamaica to proclaim the gospel through word and deed… During his lifetime, dad was a tireless servant of God.
 
          Through all of this, mom was with him, of course. They met in Jamaica when they were 15 years old – in church. Meeting mom and marrying her and living a lifetime with her was dad’s proudest achievement. They were married for 63 years. Together they raised all of us: Robert, me, Andrew, and Mark (we lost Mark last year – losing him devastated dad – I’m sure he never got over it)…
 
There wasn’t a day in our lives when we didn’t know dad’s love. He was a shining example of what it means to be a Godly father and spiritual role model. His goal, of course (and mom’s), was to have all of us be followers of Christ... Mission accomplished, dad... Thank you so much…
 
          Dad absolutely adored his grandkids (and they adored him): Ivy, Coleman, Olivia, Emma, Nathan, Grace, Jacob, Caleb, Isaac, Ava Kate, Maxwell, and London…
 
          The twelve of you are all old enough to have had a relationship with your grandfather. For that we are all SO grateful. I hope that each of you will, as you grow older, be able to see some of your grandfather in your own lives. I hope you’ll see his gregarious personality, his humility and love for others, his always putting others ahead of himself, his dedication to family, and, of course, his trust in Jesus. You are his legacy. His life goes on in the world through you. I know that, if he were to leave you with one piece of advice for your lives, he’d tell you to live one day at a time – don’t worry or fret about the future – live today. And he’d tell you to do everything you do as though you were doing it for God. Think in terms of eternity…
 
          Dad was SO generous. It’s not uncommon to hear of someone who is said to be so generous that they would give you the shirt off their back. Dad really would have. In fact, he once gave away his car because he came across a family who needed it more than he did.,, and, routinely, when Thanksgiving or Christmas came around, dad would find random strangers and invite them home for dinner – and include them into the conversation like long-lost family.
 
          Dad used to laugh at himself for being somewhat accident prone. He loved to tell the story of when he was a young guy. He and a friend were out collecting coconuts. Dad was waiting at the bottom of the tree while his friend climbed up to cut them loose. Dad got distracted and a coconut came crashing down on his head and knocked him out cold. He probably paid better attention after that.
 
          One of dad’s favorite pastimes was to watch wrestling and boxing on TV. I’ve never been quite sure how that reconciled with the gospel of love, but he made that leap… Perhaps balanced out by his passion for handing out Bible tracts and talking about the Lord… I think the biggest impact he had on people was helping them believe in something bigger or higher or more holy than themselves. He encouraged people to not live for ‘now’ but for eternity. I’m sure he wasn’t always successful at that, but every time he was, I know God smiled on him. And I know that every one of those lives he directed to Jesus will be eternally grateful…
 
          Thank you, dad, for living a life that touched so many of us – a life that directed us to Christ – a life that led our families to Him. Thank you for being the perfect example of what an earthly father should be like. Dad – you will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Bob B.
          Dad was a man who never wanted anything to be ‘about me.’ I’m pretty sure he is looking down on us right now, shaking his head, in wonderment, being just a little overwhelmed, because today – this hour – IS about him. It is about him and the kind of man he was and how he impacted so many lives. Thank you all for being here today – family – the people he loved most in the world.
 
          Dad was, of course, my father, but he was far more than that. I have, for years, considered him to be my best friend. He was always there. For all of us, he was a rock – the man who was always there to listen to problems, to share joys, to help us think through whatever might be going on in our lives… Sometimes dad would call when I was having a bad day. Not wanting to burden him with my problems, I glossed over them, telling him everything was fine. But he knew. Somehow he knew…. He’d call me back immediately after we hung up and say, “you’re not telling me something…”
 
          Other times, he’d just call and leave a voicemail. “I’m just calling to tell you that I love you. That’s all. No need to call back. I’m thinking of you and I love you.” Who wouldn’t love a man like that? …so thoughtful – so loving…
 
          Every month or so, dad would make a point of taking me to lunch (our ‘lunch hour’ usually turned into a 2-3 hour event). We’d talk about anything and everything – the business, family, politics, world events – everything… Often he’d offer advice, if I needed it. He was always my ‘go-to’ for everything. I will SO miss those times together, just dad and me, sharing our lives…
 
          Dad’s greatest love in life, though, was mom. He adored her. They did everything together. Dad was always 2 steps ahead of her, to ensure she had everything she needed. He would bring her coffee first thing every morning. He’d clean her glasses at night so they were fresh when she put them on in the morning. He would drive her to every appointment and any errand she ever needed to run. Dad’s primary goal in life was to make mom happy. Her happiness was his world. And she was the absolute love of his life – she made his world go round. Mom – thank you for loving dad the way you did. You enriched his life beyond measure…
 
          Vincent, Philip and I were the second greatest loves of dad’s life. He was a great father. There wasn’t a day in our lives that we didn’t know we were loved by this wonderful man.
 
          Dad was a sailor (he had two boats) and I remember how, when we were growing up, we’d spend weekends on the boat out in Catalina. Every Friday night after work (for him) and school (for us), we would pack up the sailboat and head over to Catalina for the weekend (unless the weather was to be bad – he was a great weather man – he knew all about fronts and atmospheric pressures and Doppler readings). And he loved to scuba dive so, while we were in Catalina, he’d go diving and catch our dinner – he would come back with fish and lobster and we’d have a wonderful feast…
 
          Actually, Vincent, Philip and I lost a bit of standing with dad when the grandkids started coming. He SO loved each and every one of them: Olivia, Vivian, Grace, Amelia, Elouise, Dylan, and Brook. I don’t suppose dad loved us any less, but he absolutely adored his grandkids. He spoiled them with love, let them eat popsicles for breakfast, invented the famous Tata Toast (they called him Tata – Tata toast is a small piece of toast with a mountain of cinnamon and sugar on top – an no one was limited to just one). They had lots of sleepovers. He would garden with them, he would take them to the supermarket with him, he would play guitar with Vivian. In the last 5 years, he let his hair grow long – he was a rockstar, after all. He let the girls play with his hair and put it in little ponytails with lots of accessories. Tata had NO rules when it came to the grandkids. Their Tata was the coolest rockstar grandpa ever…
 
          I hope all you grandkids will grow up seeing a lot of your grandfather in your own lives. I hope you’ll see his passion for life, his commitment to whatever he was doing, his determination and bravery. I hope you’ll see his kindness and love for others. YOU are his legacy. He was a wonderful role model for all of you. I hope you’ll see him often in yourselves in the years to come… Elouise, Dylan and Brooke are so young they won’t remember their grandfather, but I hope that all of our stories about him as they grow up will make them know him through us and thus ‘inherit’ some of his characteristics…
 
          There was nothing dad enjoyed more in life than having everyone he loved all in one place, talking and laughing and having a wonderful time together… The last gathering we had, sitting in my parents backyard, with the grandkids playing and all of us sitting at the table – I remember him telling me the next day how special it was for him and just how much he loved having everyone here, watching the grandkids play, us eating and drinking some wine, just relaxing and enjoying each others company. It was that simple for him. That’s what he loved.
 
           I mentioned that dad was a rockstar. He was in a band named the “Hard Luck Boys.” He was an amazing guitar player. He seldom played for others by himself. That seemed, to him, like too much bravado. But occasionally he would and we all loved it.
 
One of the last times I remember him playing, he plugged in his loudest amp in the garage, stood on the driveway and played his guitar. Some of the neighbors came out when they heard him. It was loud and you couldn’t miss it, but he was a rockstar and he could play SO well. When he was done, everyone started clapping and told him to continue. His own rock concert in the driveway. It was great. Vivian played the guitar with him. He would always tell me – let her plug in her amp – it needs to be LOUD. She needs to feel the music – the louder the better he always said.
 
          Family, friends, guitar playing, sailing, scuba diving, grandkids, he loved it all. But there was one more great love of his life and that was he work. Dad knew that what he was doing at Brink Financial Group was important. He wasn’t just a ‘financial guy.’ He knew his clients – he knew about their families and their personal lives – what they liked to do – their hopes and fears for the future. He felt that those he served were almost as close as family. They valued and trusted dad’s advice on life and just enjoyed calling him a ‘friend.’
 
          Dad single-handedly built the company from the ground up. It thrived because of his dedication and commitment. I remember, in those early years, he would often travel to Asia to meet with new clients. He’d be gone for weeks at a time. We missed him, but knew he had to do the work to have the success – and it paid off…
 
          When I started working with dad, right out of college (he was the COO at Bridge Pac… at the time), I quickly learned that he was a mentor and a role model to so many people within the company. He took people under his wing and helped them both professionally and personally. He truly cared about the people and they respected him. They respected him because he was the best of both worlds – he expected everyone to perform to their best ability (and his standards were high – he didn’t take anyone’s b.s.), but he also had a heart. I realized he was also everyone’s GO TO at work.
 
I was young, but he was always there to give me that encouraging push to do my best and push forward. He would give me advice, but he also stood back to let me figure it out. He knew I had to learn things on my own. It was one of the greatest honors of my life when he invited me to join him at Brink Financial. My dad believed in me! For these past number of years we’ve worked closely and he shared his vision and his wisdom to such a degree that I think I can almost fit into his shoes and carry on his legacy.
 
One of the things everyone appreciated about dad was his unvarnished honesty. He could ‘tell it like it is’ without judgement or criticism and help you see a better way. One of the lessons he taught us was to own your own mistakes and then work to fix them… A great life lesson.
 
For the most part, dad was a very quiet guy – usually the quietest person in the room – never inserting himself voluntarily. UNLESS there was an issue about right or wrong or values or something of consequence. Then he never hesitated to jump into the fray and argue for the right. Because of his wisdom and his own moral fiber, people listened. Dad believed words matter and he always used his in a way that made an impact.
 
Dad and mom loved to travel – especially trips to Hawaii. But wherever they went, far or near, he always took his guitar, of course. But he’d also always pack his own coffee maker. He loved his coffee and didn’t like waiting for room service to bring it, so he just traveled with his own Keurig machine. And he loved to burn incense – he was all about calmness and inner peace.
 
Dad had an almost encyclopedic knowledge. He was a walking Google search engine, I’ve often thought. So often we’d ask him a question and, in response, he’d say, “Do you want the long version or the short version?” We knew that, with dad, there really was no ‘short’ version. He always wanted to explain things in great detail. And it was always great listening to him. He knew SO much…
 
There’s a reason why dad went before us, I know it. He left us so he could make preparations. Right now he’s probably finding us the perfect spot with a view, getting us the best cabana, setting the table so our wine glasses are full. The freezer is stocked with ice cream for the grandkids, (and him, of course) – but in true dad fashion, he wanted to prepare, to get things ready for us, so now all we’ll need to do is join him. That’s the kind of man he was… I can see him sailing the ocean, standing on the bow of the boat, rocking his guitar and waiting.
 
I’m pretty sure that the hardest part of dad’s diagnosis, for him, was the knowledge that there would come a time when we would have to take care of him. In his world, it was HIM who took care of everyone – not the other way around. He was so used to caring for everyone else and making sure everyone around him had what THEY needed. HE was the one who always stepped in to take care of things. It had never been the other way. Never. DAD was the care-giver – it was nearly impossible for him to think any other way…
 
Dad – thank you for your unconditional love, for your wisdom and lessons for living – for being our rock. We will miss you more than words can express. Your spirit will always be with us, giving us guidance and strength and determination. You will always hold a place in our hearts and we will love you forever.
 

 
Robert Y
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to my father. So many of you have sent cards or emails to mom or to Dan or Doug or me -  or called with words of sympathy and assurances of prayer during our time of loss. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Dad was an incredible man, as all of you know. He was extraordinarily resilient, he was one of the hardest workers I’ve ever known, and he was passionate about serving others and giving back to the community.
 
Dad was born with Cerebral Palsy. When he was 6 he began life as a detainee at a Canaian internment camp for the Japanese. He was there for 8 years! His father was sent to a work camp because he was a Japanese national – so he didn’t have a father present in his formative years. Dad survived cancer… And yet he never complained about anything. He had no bitterness. He simply made the most of every day that God gave him.
 
When dad was in his 20’s, he did go through some dark days. He was a young, handicapped man with ambition and a strong work ethic. He had found success already in his career and was having some financial success, but it didn’t seem likely that he would find a life partner and have much of a chance of living a ‘normal’ life. But then he found something that changed everything. He found faith. He met Jesus. I don’t know all the details, but I know that his new-found faith changed his perspective on everything and changed his life.
 
At the time, he was working as a supervisor at the Richmond school board office and mom was a primary school teacher. In God’s providence, they met each other. They were married for 49 years! …and their marriage was an inspiration to everyone who knew them.
 
They both got involved in this church, Broadway Baptist and found a second family here. Often dad would play his guitar and sing. Mom would sometimes sing with him. Their lives here were rich and full and they were loved – and loved everyone they knew here…
 
Dad was an elementary school principle for more than 24 years. Before that he was an elementary teacher. At one point he was on the school board, but decided he would much rather work with teachers and kids, so didn’t do that for long. And he was great at being a principal. His goal was to maintain a positive learning environment for he kids, fostering their positive attitudes towards education and learning – and, at the same time, teaching them to be well-rounded individuals. In fact, one of the phrases that would often come from his mouth was that we should be ‘well rounded’ and have a ‘balanced life.’ That meant getting involved in a variety of activities including education, the arts, sports, exercise, volunteering -  a balance of work, family, and recreational activities.
 
He'd tell us, "don't worry about the outside noise, just focus on what you need to do (to be successful)." And that’s how he lived.
 
They loved him at school, as principal. He was a great planner and organizer, a powerful public speaker, a super friendly and approachable man… One of the things he was noted for was getting on the PA system some mornings, and playing his guitar and singing “Happy Birthday” to teachers on their birthday or congratulating, publicly, one or several of ‘his’ students who had succeeded or achieved something of note…

Dad was able to accomplish so much – He sang in the church choir, here, for years. But he was also in the Vacouver Bach Choir. He was a Former President of RACA. He helped organizing the international Bantam/Midget winter hockey tournament, even singing the national anthem one year, and was a Richmond Museum society board member.
 
Dad even ran for office a couple of years after he retired. He wanted to be a Richmond City Council member. I remember helping put up signs and campaigning for him. He had a chance to join one of the local political parties, but he said he wanted to run as an independent. He didn’t want party leaders dictating to him how he should vote. He came close to winning, but he didn’t. But I like to think of his NOT being a politician as winning, as he showed me (and others, I suppose) how to "stick to your guns" and not to compromise your principles. I think he would have been an excellent councilman, in terms of doing good for the city, but may not have been too comfortable with all the schmoozing required…
 
Dad’s greatest joy in life was us, his family – Daniel, Doug and me…We were his pride and joy. He loved watching us grow up and he was always there to cheer us on and celebrate our accomplishments… And he loved our kids beyond measure. Joshua, Tyson, Allison, Emmy, Sienna, and little Noah, Leah. I’ll never forget the fun they had with him – singing songs while he played his guitar. One of their special treats was sitting on grandpa’s lap, getting rides in his power wheelchair. When dad saw his grandkids, he knew life was good and that he had been blessed. I hope that each of them will inherit parts of who he was – his geniality, his work ethic, his love for music, his resilience to overcome and bounce back, his love for family, and his faith. All you kids are his legacy. Your grandfather lives on in you.
 
One of the things we will always remember about dad, was his fierce competitive spirit. He loved winning board games or any game that required strategy. He was a master planner, so putting together a winning strategy was his thing. One of his specialties was poker. He always told us that, when he was in college, he’d often win a few bucks because fellow students underestimated this guy with a disability, thinking he couldn’t possible be good. But he always proved them wrong…
 
Dad never allowed his disability to prevent him from living life – from being positive and outgoing – from accomplishing and doing... He hated it when people ‘felt sorry’ for him. He knew he could and WOULD do whatever he wanted. He showed all of us the possibilities of perseverance and determination and hard work. Dad was such an inspiration…
 
Dad – You were the best father your three sons could have had. You were always there for us, encouraging and showing us how to overcome and be righteous men. You will always hold a place in the hearts of everyone who knew you. We will never forget you. We will love you forever.
 

 
Shawn O.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          About two weeks before dad passed away, at about 9 in the evening, while I was putting the kids to bed, there was a knock at the door. I couldn’t imagine who it could be. It was dad. He was standing there with a bag of car parts…
 
          I had just bought a new truck and, as I was showing it to dad, I expressed a bit of frustration at an annoying click every time I opened the door. I told him I had researched it and figured out the problem and what parts were needed. But it required taking the entire door off and I didn’t have the time and, quite honestly, probably not the skills. I’d live with it for a while…
 
There he stood, with the needed parts. He had found a truck like mine, ripped it apart, took out the parts I needed, and drove an hour, after work, to bring them to me. He was only there for a few minutes – it was late -  he left and drove back home. 
 
That’s the kind of man dad was… ALWAYS willing to help in any way he could – even without being asked. Amanda and Kyle have their own stories. There are tons of stories like that, where dad showed how special he was. Dad didn’t fight a winning war, he never met the president, he never won a state championship, but what our father did was be a dad, there for me, my brother ,and my sister whenever we needed him. …and he set us an example of how we ought to live.
 
Dad was a ‘happy-go-lucky’ kind of man. He never had a lot of anything in the material sense and never got some opportunities that he would have taken advantage of, but he never complained. He would always make the best of what he had.
 
Dad did have a super-power, though. Dad didn’t have the best eyesight in the world, but he had this uncanny ability to spot things along the side of the road as he was speeding along at 70 miles per hour. Many times, when we were growing up, we’d be cruising along on the freeway and he’d, all of a sudden, slam on the brakes and turn off onto the side of road. ”What the heck dad!?” we’d say. He’d say, “I think I saw something!” Most of the time it would be nothing, maybe a dime or a quarter, but most definitely NOT something worth stopping for. Every once in a while he’d find something good, but still… rather amazing…

          Dad always taught us that, being a ‘Kennedy’ was something to be proud of. …Not the Kennedy name, as such, but ‘family.’ WHO we are as family is the most important thing in the world. Family always does for one another and is always there when someone has a need or a problem – or a joy or something to celebrate…
 
Dad’s grandkids, Talen, Lillie, Easton, Brinley, Kingston, and Ever, didn’t live in the same town as their grandfather, but he adored each one of them… and it was obvious that they were all drawn to this gentle, nurturing man they called ‘grandpa.’ I hope that all of them will grow up being able to see some of their grandfather in their own lives… his gentle spirit, his willingness to help anyone who needs help, his generosity with whatever he had, his loyalty and respectfulness. You six are his legacy. In you, your grandfather lives on in the world.
 
          Dad spent most of his work life working for Bill Binns Machine as a diesel mechanic. He was really good at it – much in demand. …He wasn’t crazy about being greasy all the time, though, but that came with the territory. …I remember him going in, after work, to get his driver’s license renewed, one time. He splashed some water on his face to make himself a bit more presentable for the picture. Grease would congeal on is eyelashes and he couldn’t get it off… I used to tease him that his driver’s license picture looked like he was wearing mascara…
 
          He had just opened his own shop. He was so proud of that – and loved having the freedom to work on engines at his own pace
 
          He used to tell some stories of his first real job. He worked at a Chevron station, pumping gas and cleaning cars. One day he was cleaning a car and found a McDonald’s Monopoly piece under a seat. It was the last piece he needed to win a trip to Disneyland! He LOVED that…
 
          When I was young, dad had a job at a metal scrap yard, called West Coast Metals. I think it was his all-time favorite job. He always said he wanted to open up his own scrap yard someday. Dad was a collector/picker at heart, so this was a dream job for him. He loved to scour through the piles of junk, for hidden treasures. He raced cars at the time, so it was the perfect place to find cars or parts he needed for whatever race or demolition derby he had coming up. The owners loved my dad. They saw the goodness In him and valued his hard work . So they’d let him pillage all he wanted and would even sponsor him at his races.

          I used to call him the “MacGyver” of mechanics because he could fix anything. All of his family and friends knew if something broke and it had a motor, Shawn could fix it… and he always, happily, would.
 
          I remember, years ago, racing with dad – in the ‘Bomber Division.’ Dad would drive and I’d sit in the passenger seat. He wasn’t the best driver, but it was always entertaining (so much so that family and friends were always in the stands). He drover like he had just stolen the car. The car probably had brakes, but dad NEVER used them…
 
          Dad was generous, almost to a fault. He gave more to other people than he kept for himself… He didn’t care all that much for material processions. In fact, he was known for giving away items because he thought someone could use them more than he could…
 
We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, but with the money we did have, we would travel up and down the state doing BMX (bike racing). We traveled in whatever beat up car we had at the time, and would sleep in the car, camp, or sometimes, if we were lucky, a hotel room. It wasn’t, in any way, luxurious, but those times created some of the best memories of our lives…
 
Because of the bike racing we did, my dad had lots of bike parts laying around. I remember that he’d scrape together all the extra parts and build bikes for all the neighborhood kids who didn’t have one or couldn’t afford one.
 
Dad was so generous…  He always loved to quote Tom Hardy, when he said, “I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect at the CEO.” And he did (although he didn’t know many CEOs).
 
Dad loved going to the family “Kennedy Cabin” every Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend. That was his happy place. He would never miss a trip. He enjoyed the time spent with his family, shooting guns, riding dirt bikes, Barbie jeep racing. There is no cell phone service up there, so it was the perfect place to getaway and relax for the weekend. Those times just won’t be the same without him.


Dad loved tinkering on things in his shop. His paradise on earth was being with his family or in his shop working on his many projects. Most men’s trash was my dad’s treasure. He loved to recycle and rescue things in hopes of giving them just a bit more life. He never had money to buy new things, so he’d collect the broken ones and fix them. He was a master tinkerer… He loved it…

Lord knows we didn’t say it enough when you were around, dad, but I want to say it now – We love you. We always will. You taught us how to live and treat others. You showed us what it means to sacrifice for your family to give them the best lives possible. I hope that Amanda, Kyle and I can make our kids as proud of us as we were of you. We’ll love you forever, dad…and we will always hold our memories dear.
 

 
William J.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being with us today as we say a final farewell to dad. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called Marie, Joanna, Lisa, or me with words of encouragement and sympathy. All of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
This past year and a half was pretty rough on dad as he battled his cancer. But those months had some good aspects, too. We all saw more of him. We talked, we shared memories, we expressed our love… In many ways, most of us became closer to dad than we have ever been…
 
Dad grew up in Dumont, NJ in a neighborhood with lots of kids. He used to say that he could step out the front door and whistle and kids would come from everywhere. He said that his friends all had adventurous spirits and were up for anything that had a bit of risk or danger involved. Looking back, he wasn’t sure how they all made it out alive… but no one was ever seriously injured… and they always had lots of fun.
 
But those friends and a father that was rather tough on him and his siblings, formed dad’s life. He would, forever, be a man who was strong and unwilling to put up with much nonsense from others. He taught my sisters and me to have grit and resilience. That is a legacy that we all appreciate and serves us well.
 
Dad was destined to be surrounded by females all his life. He had three daughters (Joanna, Lisa, and me) and five granddaughters: Chloe, Sophia, Madeline, Cathrine, and Willow. He loved all three of us with everything in him, but he absolutely adored the granddaughters and they him. I’m pretty sure the days on which each were born were the most joyous of his life – and watching them grow up was his deepest pleasure… I hope that each you granddaughters will see a lot of your grandfather in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see, in yourselves, his love for family, his love for nature, his ability to just be silly sometimes, his kindness, his loyalty, his love for God. You five are his greatest legacy. In you he lives on in the world…
 
Dad wasn’t really a church-goer, but he definitely had a deep relationship with God. His church was being out in nature and seeing the beauty of all God has made – of feeling the soft breeze, seeing the wildlife and the forest and the majestic mountains… God was woven into every aspect of his being…
 
As a young girl, dad and I would walk up our little mountain and then we'd "tear down the mountain,” - a shale mountain face that would crumble as we passed. We could do this for hours. I loved it. We would take long walks up to Gabe’s pond and the woods around our house and look for salamanders, tadpoles and other wildlife. When dad was out in nature, he was as close to heaven on earth as he could ever be.
 
Dad drove truck most of his adult life. He loved driving and being on the road, lost in his own thoughts, sometimes, or listening to oldies: “The Beatles,” the “Stones,” the “Eagles,” “Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young,” “Feetwood Mac…” He loved them all, and I’m pretty sure he sang along, at the top of his voice, as he drove…
 
Dad and Marie were married for 41 years. Marie was our bus driver when we were kids. The day he met her was one of the greatest days of his life. Marie – dad loved you so much. Thank you for loving dad the way you did – for always being there – putting up with some of his issue – for doing so much in these last months to make his life as good as it could be. We all love you for loving him and enriching his life…
 
Marie and dad did a lot of travelling. They pretty much saw the world. They went to Hawaii, Africa, Alaska, all over Europe, the Caribbean… They visited most of the 50 states. It always thrilled dad to see new places and have new experiences – to meet new people and see different cultures and ways of life. He especially loved seeing the wildlife in Africa – he saw things there he'd never forget…
 
Back home, he enjoyed being with his brothers and his buddies, Jimmy (they played a lot of horseshoes together), and Tom and Vinny. They spent countless hours doing stuff – talking and having fun and laughing a lot…sharing memories and seeing what they could do to get into a bit of trouble…
 
Dad didn’t care all that much for material things. He knew that having family and loving and being loved was far more valuable. He knew that the best things in life – people, nature, friends, family, are really what is important. “Things” always took second place…
 
I’ll never forget some of the things dad said on a regular basis. He said “I just want you to be happy. I want you to be at peace.” I’m working on both… He said, “I’m surrounded, in my life, with good people and I’m as proud as I could be.” And he said, “Don’t be afraid of death. We will be together again.”  I once asked him what his life motto was. He quoted the Beatles. He said, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."  So, dad was a philosopher, a man of wisdom and a man of hope… A man we have all loved.
 
Dad always wanted to be a ‘softer’ father – not quite so tough on us. But that toughness made us the people we are and we are happy with that. He did accomplish that ‘softness’ quality with his granddaughters. My daughters said, “Granddad is cheerful, always up for a challenge and excitable.” I think he’d be proud to have that said about him.
 
Dad was a man who taught us to appreciate nature, to love family, to be resilient in a sometimes difficult world, to be kind, and to see God in everything around us…
 
Dad – you were a powerful force in so many of our lives. You are a man who will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we will love you forever.
 

 
EULOGIES FOR A MOTHER
 
Angela C.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today, joining us as we say a final farewell to my mother. So many have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement and assuring us that you are surrounding us in prayer. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Our mother (I speak, not just for myself, but for my brothers: Steven who we lost in 2006 and Richard, who passed in 1990)… Our mother earned her nickname – Angel. She really was. A more compassionate, giving, self-sacrificing woman you’ll never meet…
 
Mom loved the book of Proverbs (in the Bible). The 31st Proverb describes her perfectly: It says, “A woman of noble character – who can find?...Her family has full confidence in her and they lack nothing of value… She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy…  She is clothed with strength and dignity;… Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her..”
 
          That really was mom. EVERYONE loved her because she was so giving and caring and concerned for the well-being of everyone she knew. One of the Proverbs she lived by was Proverbs 19:17 – “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will reward them for what they have done.” …Mom NEVER failed to live by that saying. In fact, even in her last weeks, when she couldn’t get out and do things herself, she was constantly giving me instructions: "Do this for this person…. Make sure you take care of that person…. Look out for that family…. What can we do to help this person to get ahead?
 
          Mom said she got her love for others from her parents. Her father was a university professor and, she always said, he gave wonderful advice for living. Her mother (not actually her birth mother) always went above and beyond and set helping others as a priority… But I’m pretty sure she also got a lot of who she was through her faith. When we were growing up, mom took us to church every Sunday, without fail. She jumped in and helped with every church fund raiser and function. She organized potluck dinners. She was involved in Bible Studies and helped out with the church’s Boy Scout troop. Mom believed that true faith is DOING and not just believing… So, she was constantly in the DOING mode…
 
          Then, beyond church, she volunteered constantly at the Niagara County Mental Health Association in New York.
 
          Mom probably had more energy and discipline than anyone I’ve ever known. I always marveled at how she would, every morning, five days a week, head for the YMCA pool to swim. Even in inclement weather, she was the first one in the building when the doors opened at 5 AM. If the pool heater happened to be on the fritz, on any given day, and the water was as cold as it was outside, it didn’t matter. She jumped in, with her teeth chattering, for a brisk swim… NOTHING deterred her. …When I’d visit, she always invited me along… “No, thanks, mom. Sleeping ‘till 7 or 8 under a pile of warm blankets works just fine for me…”
 
          Mom mourned dad’s passing back in 2006 (the same year we lost Steven). NOT an easy time for her. She and dad had been married for _____ years. Losing him – and then Steven - were the hardest things she ever experienced.
 
          Mom immigrated from Ecuador when she was ___. That was a pretty tough time for her, too. She left her job, all of her friends, and 90% of her family – many whom she would never see again…
 
          But mom was never without friends. She loved Frances Raedeker, whom she met at church. She knew Mary Burgess from the San Marcos Senior Center… She really did have dozens of friends from every age bracket – young and older – she loved them all. One that stands out in my mind is Mary Czovich. Mary helped baby sit my brothers and me when we were very young. I remember that she made food for our family when the budget was tight. Mary was always there to help our young family get on their feet.
 
          Mom paid it forward in spades. She took to heart the Proverb (28:27): “Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.” Her whole perspective on life was to help others – reaching out to people who were hurting or suffering from some illness. Mom volunteered for countless years at the Heritage Manor Assisted Living facility in Lockport, New York. Her ministry was visiting people, especially the residents whose families never came to see them.
 
Mom was famous for her baking – breads, cakes, cookies, and pies. Every September, when the first harvest of apples would arrive, the neighborhood kids would line up for one of her delicious treats: Apple Pies, turnovers, baked apples, apple crips, and anything else she could think of to make from apples.
 
The happiest days of mom’s life were when family and friends would come over to the house and she’d feed them a noontime lunch (with dessert, of course) and then, after they’d eaten, someone would sit down at the piano or pull out a guitar or accordion and they’d all sing and laugh and dance…
 
I recently learned a wonderful story… When we were still in Ecuador, a woman stopped by one day. Mom invited her in and served her tea and a sandwich. The woman told her of a time, years ago, when she was struggling and how mom turned her life around. Mom loaned her some money to start selling food in the local market. With the money, the woman bought, cooked and sold food – and she sold vegetables and flowers… Then she reinvested the money and rented a small store front. After years of hard work, she saved enough money and purchased the building. Now she had her own going and growing business. It was a great ‘rags to riches’ kind of story. Mom and the woman thanked God for His wondrous generosity to all of us… Then the woman pulled out a large wad of cash from her brassiere and gave it to mom, in repayment of that loan so long ago… Mom had changed her life – had, in many ways GIVEN her life…
 
Mom was known for letting people grow food on her land to sell at the local market square. She did not charge them anything, and many days someone would stop by, bringing her something - Freshly harvested vegetables from the garden (onions, carrots, avocados, potato’s, etc.). Freshly made food from their dinner tables…  Mom was a beloved figure in the community and among everyone who knew her. It reminds me of Proverbs 22:9 – “The generous will, themselves, be blessed.” And she was – richly.
 
Mom had a special affinity for the disabled. She volunteered at the local Compeer office. Her mission was to provide friendship to disabled people who did not have friends or family. SHE would be their friend and, as much as she could, their family…
 
Caring, generous, loyal, sacrificial, an inspiration. Those are words that describe my mother. She was a wonderful woman – and angel, really. And I will always love her…
 
Mom – you have reached out and helped so many people. You have shown us all what it means to be truly Christian. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you… and will love you forever.
 

 
Ann B.
          Mom would be so honored to see you all here today, gathered to say a final farewell. Thank you for joining us in celebrating the life of a woman who, herself, celebrated and appreciated every day she was given. You all meant so much to her…
 
          There really are no words to adequately describe my mother. She was an utter ‘force of nature.’ She was a woman who always lived life actively, instead of just taking it as it came. She created a life of fun adventures, interesting people, loyal friendships, and not one, but two beautiful marriages. My mother surrounded herself with people striving to live their potential and open to whatever changes might come. She had dozens – probably hundreds -  of friends, spread across the country from Michigan to Maryland to Florida... She had an energy and personal style that drew others to her. She was vivacious, effervescent, enthusiastic – in so many ways, larger than life. Those people she called ‘friends’ remained loyal friends forever… I was so fortunate to have a front row seat, for all of my sixty years, to my mother’s incredible life.
 
I was always so proud of mom’s kind heart. One of the incredible gifts she had was the gift of encouragement. She knew how to build people up – she knew how to help them see their own potential and to be the best versions of themselves. So often, when she’d meet someone for the first time, she’d go around introducing them to others – people who might be of benefit to them in some way or that she just knew they would enjoy... I think the most remarkable thing about my mother, was how much pleasure she took in helping others – truly happy for them when they succeeded or good things happened – never jealous or petty. Her mission in life was to spread joy and have fun.
 
Mom treated every person she knew with kindness and respect and always left them laughing – and incredible personality… so much fun to be around. Her laughter will be forever missed…
 
          When we were growing up, mom had a framed print in our back hallway that outlined her philosophy of life (and, I’m sure, she hoped it would become ours). It read, “Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life.” That’s how she lived. That simple sentence describes her essence… The past was past, and whatever happened yesterday isn’t as important as what happens today and tomorrow and all the tomorrows to come. My mother had the ability to leave whatever problems came along in the past and put that wonderful smile on her face, and move on.
 
Mom once wrote me a note that I still have, and cherish. It says, “Always be proud. Always know you are loved. Always be true to yourself. Never let others use you and never use others to your own advantage. If you make a mistake, it should make you a better person! If you share, you will never be alone.”
 
Family, for my mother, was absolutely the best thing in her life. She had Lawrence and me, with our father, then three new step-daughters with Wilber (she stepped into that role with wonderful grace and ease, it seemed – loving her new ‘daughters’ completely), and then, 30 years later, she inherited 5 new daughters with Phil - and she loved every one of us with all her heart.
 
My mother had two great loves of her life in Wilber – for 30 years -  and Phil for the past 20. I know she made both men blissfully happy. Seeing how she loved those men and how they loved her was nothing short of inspirational. They did things together. They traveled all over the world. They laughed and talked and thoroughly enjoyed life…
 
Mom took much joy in all the grandkids and great grandkids, too (I tried to count them all, but couldn’t do it). She adored each and every one of them.  One of the great joys of her life was to take them shopping or out for some fun adventure for the day…
 
Among the great joys of mom’s life was her charity work. She helped raise tons of money for so many charities over the years. She loved working at the Children’s Hospital flower gardens. She enjoyed her time at the Central Park Conservancy…The Society of Four Arts in Palm Beach… and numerous others. She knew life had been good to her and she loved giving back – hopefully enriching the lives of others just a bit.
 
I’m going to miss her SO much. She wasn’t just my mother. She was my best friend – my confidant – my counselor – my inspiration. Ann Sexton once wrote, “A woman is her mother. That is the main thing.” While I can’t pretend to be like my mother in everything, I am totally proud to be like her in the ways that I am… a great example and role model – the person I have always strived to be…
 
At home I have a treasure. When I realized mom’s health was declining, I started collecting the phone messages she left for me when I wasn’t home. They are wonderful! Any time I need a bit of encouragement or joy, I just listen to that voice, filled with enthusiasm and love and optimism and hear her words telling me she loves me.
 
I couldn’t have asked for a better mother – positive, supportive, loving, excited about life – a woman who truly loved others and always wanted the best for everyone.
 
Mom – I loved you so much – we all did. and we always will. You will always hold a place in all of our hearts. We will never forget you and all you were. You have touched our lives and inspired us. You will be loved forever.
 

 
Barbara Z.
          Mom has come home. She started her life here, in Milwaukee. She grew up here, she got married here and raised her family. At the end, those memories that remained strong, were of this city and the people she knew and loved here. And now the circle is complete, and mom has come home to rest.
 
          That’s not to say mom didn’t love Las Vegas. She did. She moved out to where we were and bought her dream home and, for as long as she lived in it – 15 (??) years – she was in heaven.
 
          Mom had a lot of friends, of course – both here and in Las Vegas. She was one of those people who could strike up a conversation with just about anyone and make instant friends.
 
          Mom started making some of her life-long friendships when she was a youngster, in the private, all-girls school she attended. They had a group of girls who called themselves “The Club.” I’m not sure how they did it, but they, somehow, bonded so firmly that “The Club” stayed together for over half a century. No matter where they were geographically, they stayed in contact and loved one another to the end.
 
          One of the things I remember so clearly growing up (and, I’m sure Cathy, Jill, and Karen would say the same) was how mom never failed to send us off to school with a positive word. She’d welcome us, when we came home, with her wonderful smile. She was SO involved in our lives and everything we did… There wasn’t a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved by this woman. We were her everything…
 
          Mom worked hard outside of raising us. She worked as an executive assistant at Johnson Control, but yet managed to always be there for us – attending all of our events and activities and recitals. She was always so proud of us and encouraged us in whatever it was we were doing.
 
          When the grandkids started coming, Cathy, Jill, Karen and I to a bit of a back seat. Mom absolutely adored her grandkids – every one of them. I’m pretty sure that the days on which each was born were the most joyous days of her life. If I counted right, she had ten grandkids – and six great grandkids. What a legacy!
 
          I hope that each of you grandkids and great grandkids will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll she her zest for life, her love for other, her kindness, her gregarious personality, maybe her awesome smile. She loved you SO much. In each of you – in who you are and in who you become, your grandmother lives on…
 
          Mom’s life revolved around her family. She lived for us and her friends and everyone she loved… She was, probably, one of the most selfless women I’ve ever known. If she knew someone who had a need and she had the means to alleviate that need, she’d do it. If it involved her time and energies, she’d give them freely…
 
          And mom was up for anything – literally anything. She was never a woman to turn down an opportunity or a challenge. Not so long ago – four years ago, I believe it was, our son, Justin, was having a debate with her over something or other and, to prove their point, they put a bet on the outcome. I’m not sure what risk Justin took, but mom, if she lost, would be required to go sky diving… She lost. So, at 79 years of age, mom got into an airplane and jumped out at two miles up… See? She was up for ANYTHING.
 
          Her favorite things to do, especially in her retirement years, was to work out in the garden or read a good book or pour a glass of wine and watch the Packers (you can take a Packer fan out of Wisconsin, but you can’t take Packer loyalty out of the fan).
 
,,,And the gym. Mom would go for a workout almost every day (before she got bad), or she’d, at the very least, go for long walk. Mom was a firm believer in staying as fit as you can…
 
Probably the thing I am most grateful to mom for was the kind of role model she was. I KNOW I am a better mother because of the kind of mother she was. And, I like to think I am a better person for having had her in my life and seeing how she navigated the ups and downs life throws at you.
 
Mom’s faith also helped define who she was. She attended church regularly and had a solid faith. She listened to the sermons and scripture readings and the prayers and learned how to live. She set an example for us to follow just as Christ set an example for her to follow. Much of her goodness came from that Christian background and teaching…
 
Mom – Thank you for being such a wonderful mother. Thank you for being so full of life and love. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and all you were… and we will love you forever.
 

 
Betty R.
          Mom and dad were perfect for one another. They were one another’s protectors. Dad was mentally strong for mom and mom was physically strong for dad.  Any weaknesses they had individually, were covered by the strengths of the other. Dad taught us discipline and gave us direction. He insisted we work at being the best at whatever we were doing. Mom was always there with a loving hug, a small gift, or a delicious, home-cooked meal.
 
          One thing I’ll always remember about mom was her getting up at the crack of dawn (or before) to make us breakfast. Dad insisted that we kids have a full, hot breakfast before we set off for school. Mom wasn’t a morning person at all, but there she was, when we came down, in the kitchen cooking us breakfast to start our day. There was even one year when all three of us went to different schools with different start times, so she had to make breakfast at three different times… But she felt that was her role, so she never complained. She just did it. That was mom.
 
          When dad died, mom said she had ‘lost her job.’ Her job, she believed, was to take care of him in every way he needed. Mom was an incredibly committed and loyal wife and mother – and grandmother…
 
          One of the joys of her life was spending time with any of the grandkids, but especially Lexie and Nash, in this past 10 years, since she lived nearby. Nash is her only grandson, so I think he held a special place in mom’s heart.
 
          But all you grandkids had a wonderful grandmother. I hope that, as you grow older, you will see a lot of her in yourselves. I hope you’ll see her kindness, her dedication, her caring for others. I hope you’ll see, in yourselves, her sense of humor and her vulnerability. She loved each of you. You are her legacy in the world. In you, she lives on…
 
          After I was established in my career and before I got married, one of the things mom I would do on an annual basis was to take a trip around the time of her birthday. We made such wonderful memories. Mom loved to travel and see new things and how other people live. She loved the adventure of not knowing exactly what was going to happen on any given day. We went to New York City, to Santa Fey, we traveled as far west as San Francisco and as far east as Cape Cod… North to Seattle and even Alaska. Someplace along the way, mom and I became best friends – and that lasted until the very end. There is something very special and unique about being best friends with your mother… Even today, any time I travel, I think of our trips together and all the good times we shared…
 
          Seeing mom lose her memories since dad died was so hard for all of us. But I noticed something wonderful. So many people, when Alzheimer’s strikes, have the darker side of their personalities come out. They become different people – not nearly as nice. But that never happened to mom. She was a gentle soul all the way through. Goodness was all that COULD come out.
 
          …And a little humor, too, would frequently show up... That eye roll of her’s… If you’d say something funny or were being silly or said something unreasonable, she’d roll her eyes and chuckle. She could do it even after her stroke and communicate volumes…
 
          During this past five years, one of her favorite things to do was to listen to her favorite CDs. She loved harp, piano, instrumental – music comforted her and gave her peace…
 
          I think it must have been mom’s faith that gave her such inner strength all her life. She knew she was a child of God and that God was always there, watching over her and giving her guidance and helping her along the way. Even in these last years, mom’s faith assured her that the end of life is the beginning of eternity, so no fear was called for. She would be reunited with dad and her parents and brothers and sisters and so many friends. I can imagine that there is a beautiful celebration of love, laughter and good food happening right now with the Hollingsworth/Chestnut clan. 
 
          Perhaps its like some of those wonderful Christmases we had at mom and dad’s… Mom always kept an immaculate house, but at Christmas she put up wonderful decorations and the house was such a warm and inviting place to be. Her tradition was to put up little white lights and evergreens throughout the house, from top to bottom. It was, truly, lovely. Is that what she’s experiencing now, in heaven? Maybe…
 
          It was so sad, these past five years, to see mom suffering so. She couldn’t eat. She couldn’t talk. But her spirit was always positive and she never felt sorry for herself (although I think she felt somewhat bad for all the work we and her nurses had to do). Being a nurse herself, she knew how hard the job is. I’d remind her about that, from time to time, when she was giving the nurses grief. And she knew.
 
          Mom was a sweet, compassionate woman. I (we) will miss her terribly. …A wonderful mother, a great role model – unwavering, unconditional love. Kind, compassionate, a long-suffering child of God.
 
          Mom – Thank you for all you were in our lives. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your love and even for your friendship. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we’ll love you forever.
 

 
Blanch M.
I’d like to begin by thanking everyone for being here. So many of you have sent cards or emails to me or Dave or Josha  or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          As I look back on mom’s life, I realize she really lived several lives – or at least had several ‘phases’ to her life. The first one was when she was 17 and started having kids. She was the best mother three kids could have (although I’m pretty sure we drove her to distraction - we were NOT little angels – I told someone the other day that we were, probably, the worse kids he would ever know)… She was fun and creative and cared for us in the best way she possibly could. Then there was the mom that she transformed into when we were teenagers (all moms of teenagers make this transition). When I was 13 I saw a mother who was unreasonable. She was mean to us. She wouldn’t let us do some things that were terribly important to us. She was hard headed and stubborn. When we were in our 30’s, she changed again. All of a sudden, she was a woman of wisdom with a great sense of humor We could go to her with anything and she’d talk us through it. Then, there was the grandmother – three grandkids that she totally adored: Stephanie, Sarah and Nick. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t have done for them. In many ways, they brought out her youth, again – made her playful and tender and happy… Then, finally, there was the stroke life. She was confined to a wheelchair and needed help with everything. This is the life where I started loving this dear woman more than I ever had – to see her vulnerable and in need of assistance… She and I have basically the same sense of humor, so we got along famously in the three years she lived with Kathy and me (Kathy, by the way, was amazing. Everything she did for mom made her life a little better – Kathy, I want to publicly thank you for all the care-giving you gave mom)…
 
          Of course, those several lives mom lived were more in ME than in her. My age, my immaturity, my perspective, was skewed by who I was… Mom was, probably, always the same – a wonderful, sometimes hard-headed, sometimes sentimental woman…
 
          As I said, mom totally loved her grandkids. But I’m afraid they inherited some of their father’s and uncle’s and aunt’s love for mischief. They knew that, for some reason, grandma was afraid of anything that crawled. She’d shriek at a spider, she was totally afraid of centipedes, who crawl so fast… The grandkids, when they were young, were constantly buying rubber or plastic bugs to plant somewhere where she’d see them… or even wind-up ones that actually crawled. They loved to push her buttons…
 
          I do hope that all three of you will inherit some of your grandmothers finer qualities… perseverance, a sense of humor, a determination to do whatever needs to be done to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. The three of you (along with me and your uncle and aunt) are her legacy to the world. Through us, she lives on in the world.
 
          You know, I never realized, until we had our own kids, how much mom sacrificed for us. Her life was centered on us in every way. It wasn’t always easy (sometimes it was downright difficult), yet she persevered and raised us to be the people we are… Her greatest joy in life was seeing us all succeed. For that, I will always be grateful.
 
          Mom – your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed. All you did, all you were, was for our good… And you made the sacrifices willingly and with grace. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Blanch E.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our mother – an amazing, wonderful woman, who touched so many of our lives. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
          There are eight of us ‘kids.’ We lost Kevin in _____ and our dear father passed in 2012, after being married to mom for 51 years.
 
Mom and dad’s fathers knew one another from their involvement in the San Francisco Historical Society and the Irish Free State group…. They were so in love (mom and dad – not their fathers)… When dad passed, we didn’t think she’d make it to her 80th birthday, her grief was so sharp. But mom was an amazingly strong woman and she bounced back and continued to love life even with numerous physical issues and without dad at her side. Her patient and kind caregivers Rose and Vera and Olivia made her ending years so much better in every way… Those three are God’s angels on earth (Olivia, herself, passed about a year ago)…
 
          Mom’s life revolved around the 8 of us. I can honestly say that there wasn’t a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved… and, I’ve got to say that, over the years, we gave mom enough grief that she might have even questioned, herself, as to ‘why’ she loved us... but she did with every fiber of her being…
 
          Before mom and dad got married, mom worked as a teacher and speech therapist for children. She loved kids and helping them gave her a deep sense of satisfaction. But she found her place in life there at Malloy’s. She and dad were the proprietors for over 40 years! Mom did everything there was to do there:  bookkeeping, organizing parties (mostly for funerals and weddings) and birthday receptions. She had an eye for detail and did everything to perfection. She wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy (and they always were). Her bartenders respected her and looked up to her, many of the patrons were her friends and, often, at the end of the day, mom stopped by to buy the customers still there a drink and have a chat before heading home to take care of her family of 8.
 
Mom negotiated union contracts for her workers, she negotiated leases for their properties, and so much more – And ALL while raising all of us and making sure we were involved in all kinds of extra curricular activities and transporting all of us to where we needed to be and being our biggest cheerleader. Looking back on it, none of us can figure out how she did it all. She clearly had more hours in the day than anyone else, and the super-power to taxi us all to different places at the same time… Over the years we saw that mom’s willingness to help others was endless... not just us, but anyone she knew.
 
Mom and dad had 21 grandchildren… She loved every one of them. They were the greatest joy of her life. She was at the majority of their sports games and extra curricular activities. She baby sat if one of us needed it. She took all of them (not all at the same time, of course) to her favorite places in San Francisco: The Palace of fine arts, The Exploratorium, The Hall of Sciences, The Circus in Town, Tea at the Fairmont and, of course, the beach and the zoo. She made them all laugh and enjoy themselves and, sometimes, she encouraged them to just be silly.
 
We hope that all of you grandkids (and even the two great grandkid) will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. We hope you’ll see her generosity and her loyalty to family and friends. We hope you’ll see her graciousness and selflessness in your own lives. We hope you will never lose the fun and whimsy that was your grandmother. You are her legacy. In you she lives on in the world…
 
One of the somewhat silly things we will never forget about our mother is the song she loved to sing when we headed home from vacations. We lived in Tipperary, so, of course, she’d burst into the famous song, “It’s a long way to Tiperary.” She’d sometimes do that even when we weren’t a long way…
 
Mom never really got much further into the world than California. She loved San Francisco and could never imagine living anywhere else. But, back in 1989, dad took mom to Ireland. Mom loved her Irish heritage (she even had the name of an Irish heroine from Irish myth) and the trip was the trip of a lifetime. Dad had been there several times, so he knew where they should go – a great tour guide. He knew all the back roads and told stories about everywhere they went. He planned everything. Hotels, sightseeing, restaurants… They attended a cousin’s wedding in Donegal and had a marvelous time.
 
Mom’s sister, Deirdre, was one of her best friends. They did everything together and mom grieved so when she passed, back in 2003… Another best friend, Maralyce, she had from grammar school – friends, literally, all their lives. They loved getting together with other St. Rose ladies to play Bridge… or maybe go to a jazz club. She always talked of having seen Ella Fitzgerald at the Fillmore back in ______...
 
Mom was the eternal optimist. She never complained. She knew that life was good, no matter what bad things might insert themselves from time to time. And, because of who she was and her ‘way,’ of listening to others, she was able to make whomever she was with feel like the most important person in the world… If you knew her, you know exactly what I mean…
 
One of her special talents was in the kitchen. Mom was an amazing cook and loved making dishes from scratch. Every one of them was wonderful – and, no doubt, well balanced, containing foods from each of the essential food groups… Except when she made her famous pancakes – everyone’s favorite breakfast…
 
Sundays were, as often as possible, days for being at the beach and having a picnic… Friday nights used to be reserved for being at Burt and Jane Lanthier’s, talking politics and watching Dallas football… Mom loved the 49ers and, for a few years, had season tickets, where she’d organize the tailgate parties.
 
In her younger years, mom totally loved to shop. She’d find something and wouldn’t just buy one piece. It was the whole outfit or nothing…. Mom would go so far as to organize trips to outlets and designer showrooms with her friends… I have no doubt that they all had a wonderful times together.
 
Mom approached the holidays with the same passion she had for the rest of life. She’d always make our Halloween costumes (we never had store-bought ones). She painted dozens of eggs for Easter and always had the best Easter egg hunts in town… Everyone was welcome and everyone hoped they’d be the lucky finder of the special egg with money in it… and, of course, she went all out at Christmas…
 
Our mother was a gracious woman – elegant, really. She was selfless, welcoming to everyone, supportive, caring… She was amazingly patient and was never afraid to show the whimsical silliness inside. How could anyone not love a woman like that – and how could we not, even now, miss her terribly? She was a great mother and grandmother. A great friend to have. She was a great wife and co-worker. Mom was, really, a remarkable and wonderful woman…
 
Mom – you were so important to so many people. Thank you for all you did and all you were in our lives. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever…
 

 
Carmen T.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here with us today as we say a final farewell to Mum. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been so much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          And a special thank you to all Mum’s friends who are here today. She would have been so touched that you have made the journey to honor her…
 
          Mum was a loving, devoted, simplistic, beautiful woman. To see her, you’d have never guessed her age. Good genes, apparently! Mum had a great laugh that was contagious. She was a woman loved by everyone who knew her.
 
          After Mum passed, Kim, Suzanne and I were going through Mum’s things and discovered a treasure. Years ago, both ____ and I each gave Mum, at separated times, one of those books you give to parents or grandparents that has questions about their lives. Mum filled out both books! She left us with so many stories and life experiences and inner thoughts. It has been humbling and moving to read some of her words – in her own writing.
 
          Mum was born in Malta just before WWII began. When the war came to Malta, she was still a child. In the books, she talks about how many times her father would wake up the entire family in the middle of the night, to race them down into the shelter to hide from the bombs reigning down. They would stay there for hours at a time, until it was safe. She tells of how the house would shake when the bombs exploded. She saw homes and buildings being destroyed. The most vivid of memories, she said, were of dead bodies being carted down the street.
 
At one point, apparently, her father and brother, were trapped when a bomb came down on the shelter. Eventually they were rescued, but her brother, who was 6 at the time, would become desperately ill after the ordeal and die a few days later. Such terrible thing she witnessed…
 
The family was poor and Mum was the oldest child and a girl, so her life was prescribed. After school, she’d go home to a raft of chores needing done – and help her mother care for the younger siblings… She remembered having a rag doll that she shared with her sisters and playing in the streets with beads and a jump rope.
 
When Mum was a teen, she worked with her father, in a little room, selling bus tickets for ten or twelve hours a day. That didn’t last long. Mum couldn’t stand being cooped up all day. She had too much zest for life. So she got a job at a local cinema. MUCH more to her liking…
 
See what I mean? Those books are treasures…
 
When Nanna died (Mum’s Mum), she was devastated. She had lived with our family for nearly twenty years and Mum and Nanna had a wonderful relationship – they’d talk for hours and give one another sage advice. And she was devastated again, not so long ago, when her dear sister, Dot, passed… They were the best of friends as well as sisters…
 
And, of course, Granville, the love of Mum’s life, was often talked about in the books. Fifty six years of marriage! TODAY is the 11th anniversary of his death. Dad was sick for many years before he passed. Mom was always there by his side, caring for him, loving him, making his life as good as it could be… She was amazing and we will all be eternally grateful for the care she gave him…
 
They met back when Mum was 16 and working at Vicar’s Woolen Mills. She was a wool comber. Dad worked there, too, along with his best mate. They used to stop by all the time to see how this young beauty from Malta was doing. Dad was NOT happy when his mate made the first move and asked Mum out before he got up the courage. But eventually he made the move and they started seeing one another (her strict Maltese Mum was very upset that she was seeing this English boy whom, she thought, still looked like a child – I’m pretty sure it was just as much an ethnic thing).
 
Mum’s life, after she and dad got married, was wholly dedicated to family. Kim came along, then Suzanne, then me. Mum lavished her love on us… We never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved… Then our kids were born: Ryan, Brock, Chad, Gemma, Billy, Kira, and Kai… You grandkids were everything to your nanna. She loved each and every one of you beyond what you can comprehend. She was willing to move mountains to be there for you for special days and events. Five of the seven of you live in another state, so sometimes it was hard. But she was always willing and ready to make the trek – to jump on a plane and fly to Qld – She was SO proud of you all and all your accomplishments and to see you all becoming the wonderful young people you are.
 
I hope that each of you will see, in your own lives, as you grow older, much of your nanna. I hope you’ll see her resourcefulness, her work ethic, her toughness of spirit, her loyalty and her love. And I hope you’ll all see her faith… YOU are her legacy. In you she lives on in the world.
 
Mum became a great nanna just seven weeks ago – Goldie Rose. I hope we will all tell her the stories of her great as she grows up so she will know her through all of us…
 
Here’s how much Mum loved her family: Everyone who knew Mum knew her as a rather quiet woman. But, when it came to family, she was a lion. So much so, that she was even, once, taken away in an ambulance for trying to protect _______ while she was playing a soccer game. Mum got into an altercation with another lady and got injured… All the while, my father just stood aside and shook his head in disbelief. NO ONE messes with Mum’s kids or grandkids…
 
Her rowdy side came out, at home, when she would watch a Rugby League match or cricket or even golf. She would call out at the TV when her side was not quite on a winning streak. And watch out if you were on her list of players she didn’t like! She wasn’t a “sit back and relax” sports fan…


Mum wrote quite a lot, in her book, about these past few years, being in lock-down with Covid everywhere. She was quite lonely. She loved to be with family – to see people. She loved to travel – none of that. She mourned not being able to go the Sunshine Coast to see her daughters and family. She says it was our daily calls that kept her going and to help overcome the loneliness she felt.
 
Those phone calls were rather funny, really. She would always try to cut the phone calls short. She’d say she just wanted to hear our voices, and didn’t want to interrupt us or take up too much of our time. You would be half way through a sentence, and she would say….”Ok then, talk to you later”….even though you hadn’t quite finished. It was just her funny way... Phone calls were not her strong suit, she always preferred an in-person meeting, the good old fashioned way.


I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Mum’s faith. Mum grew up in Malta, where Catholicism is at the top of the list of priorities. She brought us all up as Catholics, and continued her faith to the end. She would always attend mass once a week, whenever she could. Her faith was a big part of who she was. And it is that faith that gives us our greatest comfort at losing her. He is with the Lord she loved and served all her life.

I remember going with Mum, back to Malta, when she returned after 40 years of being away. Sitting on the Air Malta flight, Mum was by the window. The moment she saw the island beneath us, she knew it was Malta. She burst into tears, and said “ I’m home again!” She took me to the street and home where she grew up. It was like she was a young girl, again. I will treasure that time and memory, I was so blessed to have shared it with her.

At the end of Mum’s book, this is what she wrote:
…….”The only thing I say to you is don’t let things come between you, help each other no matter what. Don’t forget, you are all one blood. Love each other, as I loved you”.
 
Mum – You were the best mother a man could have – or a woman… You were a wonderful grandmother and wife and friend – a wonderful aunt and neighbor and child of God. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Charlotte M.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mama. So many of you have sent cards or emails to Kim, Pam or me or called with words of encouragement or some wonderful story or  memory about our Mama… Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
           Most of you have read, probably many, many years ago, the book “Charlotte’s Web.” Mama loved that book – partly because it bore her name, but also because it told a beautiful and touching story about life and friendship, hope and fear, the cycle of life that always, ultimately, ends with our death. It’s a book about how we can help one another live life in a positive, meaningful way, every day.
 
          Mama always read that book to her students when she taught school (she taught for 27 years – mostly kindergarten). It contained the very philosophy of her life – that we can’t escape death, but that, even in the face of death, life continues and goodness, in the end, wins out… Mama always tried to help others, just as Charlotte, the spider did with Wilber. Mama understood that she would die, but that it was a natural part of life – and one shouldn’t be despondent. One needs to get on with their life and make the time they have useful and valuable. 
 
          Mama lived that philosophy for eight decades and, at the end, she knew that she had touched dozens – hundreds – of people through education, through business, through daily interactions. Mama’s legacy lives on and will for generations yet to come…
 
          Mama would often tell us that she had a really nice life. She had loving parents, great siblings and friends to grow up with.  She was very proud of her children and often said to us, “The best time of my life was raising you three children”.  She had fantastic grandchildren who she got to see and vacation with and they all knew her well – and loved her almost as much as she loved them…
 
          Six grandkids: Ferris, Hayden, Ashley, Erin, Jake, and Jessica… The six of you were the brightest points of your Beba’s life. She adored each one of you and loved nothing more in the world than spending time with you. I hope that all of  you will see SO much of  your Beba in your own lives as you grow older. I hope you’ll see her goodness and caring for others, I hope you’ll see her optimism and positive outlook on life, her generosity and desire to always have people come together for a good time. I hope you’ll see her faith… The six of you reflect who she was. You are part of the great legacy she leaves to the world. In you she lives on…
 
          Mama probably knew the grandkids birthdays better than their own parents… and she was able to keep up with what they were doing and all their accomplishments. She kept a stack of cards on her desk, so that she could quickly jot a note and drop one in the mail to give a ‘congratulations’ or a word of encouragement…
 
          We had lots of adventures with Mama. We had an annual tradition of everyone getting together at “Beba’s” house to do repairs, plant flowers, do some painting, do some gardening… She so loved it when we were all together… Every year Mama would rent a house somewhere for us all to be together for a week: Santa Rosa or Grayton Beach – Orlando so we could all enjoy Disney and Universal… or, maybe, in North Carolina, where we could go to Vanderbilt/Pigeon Forge/Gattlinburg… Wonderful times – wonderful memories…
 
Mama had, what I’d call, a ‘connector personality.’ That’s a real thing. Look it up. A ‘connector’ enjoys being needed and helping others. They feel uplifted when they can contribute to someone’s well being. That describes Mama perfectly. When we were growing up, she was very involved with our scouting programs – always stepping up for whatever job needed doing. She was the ‘team mom’ for our youth baseball teams. In 1975, she had a “vision” for a bonus room she wanted to add to the house.  She thought it would be a great gathering spot for the kids in the neighborhood and the parents for parties.  She had about a 600 square foot addition built on to the house. We put a ping pong table in it, hosted neighborhood gatherings… The parents would join for New Year’s Eve parties and football games. It was great! Then she bought Lake house, later on, as a place for her grown kids to gather.
 
That lake house was something… My brother-in-law, Donnie, said it wasn’t a lake house, it was a ‘work camp.’ There was a perpetual list of things that either needed to be repaired or upgraded.  I would get the constant calls from my mother of, “ROOOOOBEEEERRRRT” – intentionally stretching out my name, calling it out several decibels higher than a normal speaking voice, when she wanted me to take  care of something.  I learned that if I didn’t want to do any heavy repair work, I needed to, conveniently, “forget” the tools that were needed at my house in Atlanta – so I would  have a semi-legitimate excuse to go out riding on the boat or water skiing instead of working on the lake house.   Now that she’s gone I would give anything to hear her yell my name like that again…
 
As I said, Mama worked as a teacher for 27 years. After that, she and her sister and a friend started “Classic Catering.” She did that for six years and then she owned “Everyday Gourmet” for another fifteen. They taught over 500 cooking classes in that store. “Georgia Living” magazine even did an article on them and the classes they taught…
 
Ironically, Kim, Pam, and I didn’t know Mama could cook. We grew up on spaghetti, hot dogs, country fried steak, and anything else that could be thrown together quickly.  Mama was so busy teaching school and keeping three kids straight, she didn’t have time to cook.  After we moved out of the house and she quit teaching, she became a great cook – totally surprised us!  Everyone else got to benefit from her cooking.. not US!
 
          One of the family’s favorite stories is about our “Goat Vacation.” The ‘GOAT,’ in this instance, is the nickname that was attached to a camper trailer that we borrowed from a family friend to take on vacation with us.  The trailer was called “The Goat” for a reason. It was less capable than a Mule.  It was adequate for about three people. Unfortunately, this vacation involved our family of 5 as well as our Aunt Carol and Uncle Sturkey and their son, Lee.
 
The GOAT had two “shelves” for people to sleep on – I wouldn’t call them beds, as that would be an over-statement. The plan was to have me and my two sisters sleep on one “shelf” and Uncle Sturkey and my cousin, Lee, sleep in the other shelf.  Mama and Aunt Carol would sleep in one car and my father would sleep in another car. 
 
This lasted for about 30 minutes, because Uncle Sturkey started snoring like a lion and none of us could sleep. So what ended up happening is that I slept in the backseat of the car my father was in and my two sisters ended up in the floorboards of the two cars. That’s the way we slept the rest of the vacation (fortunately, it was only a long week-end). So when someone talks about “car-camping”, We did it in its most pure form… and became lifelong advocates of the Holiday Inn and Howard Johnson’s…
 
          I can’t end without saying something about Mama’s faith. She was one of the most devoted Christians you would ever meet. She believed in the Will of God without hesitation or question. She knew that her Lord was in charge and that all would, ultimately, work out for the good.
 
She loved her church. She was an active member of the “Women of the Church,” at North Macon Presbyterian.  This wonderful group of women, all of whom she loved, would put on the social events and the catering in the Church for wedding receptions, baptism receptions, funerals, and all kinds of other things…
 
Mama’s faith gave her the inspiration to impact so many lives. She believed that God gives each of us talents and capabilities and it’s up to us to make the most of them… Mama never preached her faith at us or to anyone. She just lived it every day… And it’s because of that faith that she never feared dying. She knew her eternal destiny…
 
Mama was a woman who would do whatever she could to help others succeed… to be happy… to enjoy life. She was a tremendous blessing to all of us and we will miss her dearly…
 
Mama – Thank you for all the wisdom you had in raising us and directing us. Thank you for all the love you gave and the character you showed. Thank you for being a great mother, grandmother, neighbor and friend. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever…
 

 
Diane R.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here. Mom spend the past seven years in California with me, so it has been a while since many of you have seen her – yet you came. Thank you. So many have sent cards and emails and assured us you were praying for us and offering words of sympathy. Every one of those has been very much appreciated.
 
          Mom and dad left Ponca City kicking and screaming. They REALLY didn’t want to leave this church and all their friends – their lifetime of memories and people they dearly loved. But health issues made it necessary. They went to live with me and my family and I think they made the adjustment and loved their new lives there – but never forgot all of you and all you meant to them. I found it so gratifying when mom said to me one day, “I had no regrets. My life was good and I cherished it.”
 
          Mom grew up in Tulsa. She loved telling stories of those early years. Thanks to her mother, she found a passion for dancing and started performing with her partner, Jerry. She had a flair for the dramatic and always loved being in the spotlight.
 
          After high school, mom spent some time in Japan, before coming back and starting at the University. That’s where she met dad (at the university). She was a cheerleader and dad was an athlete. She told me that one of his ‘arguments’ when he proposed was that, if she married him, he promised to give her children with blue eyes. I’m not sure that really convinced her, but they were married 53 years, until he passed in 2015.
 
          Dad bought a gas station here, in Ponca City. They decided that HERE was a great place to put down roots, to raise a family, and spend their lives. They never regretted it. Here they lived a wonderful life – we all did. Thank you all for your friendship over the years. You SO enriched their lives…
 
          One of mom’s passions was travel, so she became a travel agent here – helping people get away for wonderful trips to any number of exotic places. Just talking with people about where they were going, and helping plan it all out, gave mom a great deal of pleasure.
 
          One of the things mom was especially proud of was being in a movie, “Kites Toward Heaven.” She was always into drama (majored in it in college), so it was very exciting for her. Even to the end of her life, mom loved to watch movies and her ‘soaps’ at night.
 
          In fact, watching TV was one of the special bonding things she did with the grandkids: She loved watching basketball with Charlie and Alex. The Bachelorette was a pleasure with Jorden… that and sipping wine when Jorden and Manuel would come to visit. She watched Law & Order: Special Victims Unit with Lauren. She loved watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with Travis & Sara. Stephanie held a very special place in mom’s heart. She loved all the shows they would watch together and they would make so many funny videos. Stephanie and I were mom’s primary care givers in recent years. Stephanie – thank you so much for all you did. You were wonderful – and inspiration…
 
          I hope all you grandkids will treasure the memories of the times you spent with Mimi. Sometimes she was a character, but she truly loved each of you. Remember the stories she loved telling about her life (hopefully you all knew that many of those stories were greatly exaggerated for effect). Remember how good she was at texting and trying to keep in contact. Every one of those texts was an act of love…
 
          Mom often suggested that she may not have been the perfect mother to Chuck and me. She said that, “on a scale of ten, she had hit only a 1 at times and occasionally a 10 in terms of mothering. For our sake, she said, she would have liked to have been perfect all the time, and that the goofs she made were out of love, intended to help, not hurt. Some worked, she said, and some didn’t. She said that, for her, “the hardest part of life was being honest with myself in discovering my intent”. I’d always remind her that there hasn’t ever been a mother that didn’t think those same thoughts – who didn’t want to be better than she was. And, I’ve got to say, in the three and a half years she lived with us, she was always loving and kind and grateful for whatever we might do to help her. In these past years she was always closer to a ‘10’ mom than a ‘1.’
 
          Mom was a woman who lived life to the fullest. She was outgoing and loved to be around people. She loved to always be on the go – traveling or shopping or going out to eat with friends – getting together with family… She was an optimist. She was the kind of person who could make instant friends with total strangers standing in line at the grocery store… or keep friends for an entire lifetime. Her “Tulsa Friends” she saw annually at the holidays. One, Sue Manley (who passed not long ago), she has had since kindergarten – but so many others… and her “Ponca Friends.” So many for so many years. She loved you all.
 
          Mom was involved in quite a number of community organizations and events over the years (I couldn’t even begin to name them). Some of them involved community theatre, of course, but she also did a lot with the church. Here, at the church, she was a member of the ‘Challengers Class’ and helped start ‘The Friendship Feast.’
 
          It is mom’s faith that helps us all so much. We know that she is with her Lord today – with dad and all those she loved who have gone before…
 
          I guess I should mention her faithful companion, Bella (a Poodle mix), whom she adored and who gave her so much comfort in recent years. Mom would actually sometimes cook just for Bella. And she was notorious for sneaking her treats. That little pup will miss mom so much…
 
          I’d like to close with a little piece I wrote. It’s called, “Honor”
 
What is Honor?
It’s in the moment you have no time, but make time anyway...with love and grace.
 
It’s in the moment you choose to be silent at a remembrance voiced, that you know is not true.
 
It’s in the everyday moments of putting meds together, making meals, changing diapers with as much dignity and love that you can show.
 
It’s in the moments of a change of heart & change of mind, that produces a change of action in spite of the past. 
 
It’s being raw, vulnerable, messy, and real in the moments of caring for another soul. 
 
To all those who would say… yes, but it is such a burden….let me tell you, it’s a burden I lovingly do. 
 
So, in the last moments when it all comes to a halt, I reflect on Honor and pray I honored well. 
 
          Mom – Thank you for all you taught us about life and love and loyalty and honor. You won’t be soon forgotten. You will dwell in our hearts always and we will love you forever.
 

 
Donna R.
          Thank you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement… Every one of those have been deeply appreciated. Thank you…
 
          Mom’s last days were happy ones. Just a week or so ago, we went to the National Stock Show and she had a blast. We talked and laughed and ate and enjoyed seeing the horses and petting the ponies. We chatted with some of the ranchers and leisurely walked through the barns… The joy of that outing was still fresh in her mind when she passed. She left this world with a happy heart and, for that, I will be eternally grateful. She taught me SO MUCH over the years about life and love and happiness. She was a wonderful mother. These past ___ years mom lived with me and I counted it a privilege to have her in my home. To see her every day – to talk with her – to share our lives…
 
          Mom had, really, a pretty amazing life. In her early 20’s, she was a model for JC Penny’s. Back in the 60’s, if you walked into a Penny’s store or browsed through one of their catalogues, you would have seen pictures of mom, showing off the latest styles or pairs of jeans or casual wear. She was even approached by the company to have a clothing line designed based on her body type… It was about that same time she was asked if she’d be interested in being a Playboy centerfold. She respectfully declined…
 
          Mom was always a goal setter. She envisioned the life she wanted and had an unbridled and relentless determination to reach those goals. By the end of her second decade, she was a secretary at McDonald Douglas. In her 30’s she became a Macrame artist. In her 40’s she established herself as an equestrian trainer and facility manager, where she rented stalls and gave lessons and trained horses. THAT was her true calling. Mom LOVED horses with a passion. She loved their beauty and
athleticism and their intelligence. She constantly marveled at a horse’s ability to understand and learn things.
 
One of our horses, "Steele," would jump over the fence into her garden and eat her Italian tomatoes. When she saw him, she’d yell out the window, to the paddocks and the garden area, “Steele ! You get out of that garden!" Steele would raise his head up with a mouth full of tomatoes and turn tail and jump back over the paddock fence! He understood!!!
 
Mom was a pretty complex person - overwhelmingly shrewd. She was extremely intelligent and strong willed. She had true grit about getting things done and a stubborn determination. When mom asked you to do something, she was relentless in making sure you got it done! She was a perfectionist and expected no less than your best. For her, It was not what you did, it was what you could have done better…

          Mom loved to learn.  She was always taking a class at the local college to learn something new about the computer. She was amazed at what computers could do – and sometimes frustrated, trying to make them do what you wanted (which, I think, is true of all of us)…
 
Mom lived vicariously through Mark, David, and me. When we were growing up, she was always totally supportive of our after school sports. I shared her love of horses. Mark and David had Baseball. She was at all of our events, games, meets, and competitions. She loved to see us active and successful in whatever we were doing. Our mother was always our greatest fan. There was never a day in our lives when we didn’t know she cared and wanted, always, the best for us…
 
When I was 14, mom and I bought a horse together. He was a thoroughbred, destined for the racetrack. We bought him for $700.00. We each paid half. We worked together as a team, with that horse. I did the riding and training and mom did the coaching. After 4 years, he had become a consistent winner in the show ring, over fences, and people were inquiring about buying him, right about the time I was getting ready to go to college. The timing was perfect. I needed the money. It wasn’t easy to let hi  him go, but we did… for $10,000! He paid my way through college!!! Thanks, mom…
 
Then there are the grandkids, Courtnie and Brennan. Mom adored them. I hope that both of you will see a lot of your ‘Gramms’ in your own lives in the years to come. I hope you’ll see her incredible tenacity and inner strength. I hope you’ll see her passion for life and her ability to set goals and work hard to achieve them. She was so proud of both of you. I think she’d tell you both to dream your dreams and work hard to accomplish them… You’ve already started… Coutnie graduated from nursing school in December with honors – Courtnie, your Gramms was SO pleased.
 
          A funny story about mom: Ten year ago, mom and I went to the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs, for a short vacation. We rented a mini suite. It had a luxury bathroom with a huge tub and mom loved that tub. She wanted to take a bath, but I cautioned her that she could probably get in easy enough, but that getting out might be a bit more of a challenge.
 
          We had a great time, the entire weekend, but on the morning we were going home, mom insisted on getting up early and climbing in that luxury tub. I drew her a bubble bath and she soaked in there for 2 hours, and enjoyed every nanosecond. But, when it came time for her to get out, she couldn’t! Mom weighed 215 at the time and there was no way I could lift her out. I didn’t want to say, “I told you so” but there we were…  We tried everything. Nothing worked… I finally called the concierge. He sent up 3 buxom women who where able to wrangle her out of the tub with some maneuvering. We laughed about it a lot and it became one of our favorite stories to tell.

          Mom thrived in her later years, with a happy spirit and dogged determination to live each day in a positive way. She loved to play gin rummy and to just sit and look out the window at the snow capped mountains… and that gave her peace and joy.
 
          My mother was a complex innovator of ideas and goals, wrapped in tough love and grit. In so many ways, she was an inspiration and, to this daughter of hers, she was a wonderful role model.
 
          Mom – Thank you for being who you were. Thank you for the strength and courage you showed. Thank you for the love and the determination and the things you accomplished in all our lives. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.



 
Ema H.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement or to assure us you are keeping us all in your prayers. Every one of those has been so much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Our mother was one of the bravest and most courageous people I’ve ever known. She was diagnosed six years ago, but NEVER let her disease define her. She loved her life so much that she fought like a warrior to the very end. She was, simply, inspirational…
 
          Mom and dad met in Tehran back in 19___. Dad was in the Navy at the time, stationed at a base near where mom lived. Mom was walking home from school, one day, with a friend, and passed dad, chatting with some buddies. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, so he brazenly called out to them, “Excuse me!” Mom’s friend turned toward him, “No. Not you, your friend…” When their eyes locked, that was it… Mom and dad were married for 52  years! He ALWAYS thought her to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
 
          But mom wasn’t just beautiful on the outside. She had an internal beauty that was wonderful. She was loving and kind, generous, selfless, brave, supportive and loyal.
 
Mom was a true Christian woman in every way. She looked at Jesus and listened to his teachings and patterned her life after His. She was a member at St. Mary’s Armenian in Glendale and then Holy Trinity in Fresno… She loved the liturgy and the music and sermons… and the people, of course.
 
          Mom had the most positive outlook on life imaginable. She never complained and had the unique ability to see the positive side to any situation. No problem was ever too big… And she had a smile that was infectious. When she came into a room, it lit up…
 
          Mom and dad raised three of us – me, Talin and Artineh. There was never a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved. There was never a day when we didn’t know we had a wonderful mother…
 
          And then there are the grandkids: Talia, Christian, Sophia, William and Noelle. Mom was their best friend. She was their greatest fan – their cheerleader, their travel companion, baby sitter when they were young (except Noelle – mom was starting to have problems when she was born). Mom was the one person in their lives who would never say ‘no’ to them… Whatever they wanted or wherever they wanted to go or wanted to do, she was always ready and willing to comply…  She adored each and every one… I’m pretty sure that the days on which each was born were the most joy filled days of her life.
 
          I do hope that each of you will see some of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her zest for life, her love for others, her faith, her loyalty, her goodness and kindness. You are her legacy. In you, her life goes on in the world… Always remember how much she loved you.
 
          A story about mom’s kindness: Back in 1978, mom and her two sisters-in-law started a Mediterranean restaurant in Fresno. They had a customer who would come in almost every week for dinner and would, invariably, find a hair in his food at just about the time he finished eating. The first few times, mom apologized profusely and comped his meal. But mom and the sisters-in-law always checked the meals before they were served so had no idea how such a thing could happen, repeatedly. Mom knew. The man was placing the hair on his plate… But he was an older man who had recently lost his wife and… needed the attention? – the free meal? – the conversation? Mom never called him on it, and allowed it to go on week after week… Such kindness and compassion…
 
          Mom was an amazing seamstress and designer. Back in Tehran, when she was young, she’d make some of her own clothes and strangers would stop her and ask her where she bought them. When she told them that she made them, many would ask if she’d make something for them. Orders started pouring in. Women in the neighborhood would come to her, asking her to design and make clothes for them to wear to special events. Mom designed and sewed the dresses for all of our weddings… and every one more beautiful than the other.
 
          But mom’s creative abilities went beyond making our wedding dresses. I’m pretty sure mom should have been an event planner or interior designer. Mom had an amazing eye for beauty and how things fit together. Our weddings were immaculately planned – beautiful, never-to-be-forgotten events…
 
Mom loved to entertain and the house was always tastefully and creatively decorated – especially at the  holidays – elegant, endless food, tasteful décor, every detail meticulously planned… Holidays and big events was the thing she loved most in the world… While she put it all together, she loved to play Andrea Bocelli's Christmas album).
 
          Mom was quite the Bocelli fan. His music was always playing at mom and dad’s house. We went to a Bocelli concert once and tears ran down her face as he sang, she was so moved by being there, in person, to hear his amazing voice and the words to his songs. Her favorite song was Bocelli singing, “A Time to Say Goodbye.”
 
          And it is, I suppose – a time to say goodbye. But it is so hard to do. We all loved her so much – and we always basked in her love for us… So many memories – so many good times and long conversations. She was such an inspiration…
 
          Mom – you raised three strong women – may we all be as good and kind and generous and brave as you. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
         

 
Ethel G.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom – especially my wonderful uncles and aunts and cousins who’ve come from various locations around the country… So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
My mother was such a unique woman. She was always interested in learning and being engaged in life. Any day that she experienced something new and exciting was a great day for her. It might have to do with her love for travel or tasting or spending time with family or simply learning about something she didn’t know, that morning, when she got up.
 
I remember, long ago, when I was a child – maybe 3 or 4 years old – mom would take me to the Art Institute of Chicago. Our first stop would be to the gift shop. She’d let me pick out a couple of postcards with artwork on them and then we’d meander through the museum for hours, looking for those paintings. Then, when we got home, she would have me put the cards in a special place for safe keeping… I still have those 4x6 miniature works of art and treasure them and the adventures they represent…
 
…And mom loved music – especially music featuring clarinets (she played clarinet in high school)… I will always associate Chopin’s Nocturnes with mom, probably because we used to play it to help Chiara fall asleep when she was a baby. Mom never complained about sitting in the rocking chair for hours holding the baby, listening to that beautiful music. …Except one time, when the CD got stuck and kept repeating the same song over and over and over… She was never so happy to hear the gentle breathing of Chiara, finally sleeping.
 
When mom was in the hospital after the stroke, I brought in a Bluetooth speaker so she could listen to some beautiful classical music. Every time I’d ask her if she wanted the music off, she’d say or indicate “no!”  Like with her granddaughter, twenty years ago, it gave her peace…
 
Mom absolutely adored Chiara… When she was born, mom and dad rented a house near me just to help out – than repeated that every June for years…
 
Mom was one of those ‘get down on the floor with the grandkids’ grandmas. Mom and dad would hang out with her, take her to baby and toddler classes, have her over for overnights. They would often come for visits during busy work times for me, just to help out. They’d drive her to school and after-school classes.
 
…Mom was the grandma who could get on the phone with a three-year-old Chiara or, later, a six-year old, Chiara, and talk for an hour, asking question after question to keep Chiara engaged. She was always interested in and curious about the person her beautiful granddaughter was, wanted hear what she had to say, and know what she thought… ,,,Chiara – your grandmother SO loved you. Seeing the wonderful young adult you’ve become gave her the greatest pride of her life. I hope you will see a lot of your grandmother in yourself as you get older – and know those qualities came from her. I hope you’ll see her kindness and her humility and her passion for learning and working hard for whatever you want in life… You are her legacy. In you, your grandmother lives on in the world…
 
Mom and dad were married for just under 60 years. They were one another’s best friends – confidants – encouragers… They met at Antioch College, in Ohio, and married after graduation… But their education continued long after that. Dad went on to get his PhD and mom, being a woman born in the ‘40s, had a more difficult path. She finished her PhD program when she was 50… By that time dad was already tenured and now her age, as well as her gender, stood in her way of pursuing a career. But that didn’t prevent her from being totally proud of what she had accomplished (even though she would never EVER brag about such a thing).
 
Her dissertation was a study of how employees who had been trained with the use of computer software were able (or not able) to relate, in their jobs, to other people… Really, pretty progressive thinking for the 80’s when online learning was just getting started… I’m sure she would have had some things to say about ‘Artificial Intelligence’ and its possible social and human consequences. She did take a particular pride in the fact that she wrote the computer program that allowed dad to finish his PhD, back in the 60s…
 
One of the things I’ve always been so proud of my mother for was her ability to organize and get things done. When I was in kindergarten, she, along with others, founded a school…. It was mom who handled the household finances and investments (and saved like no one I’ve ever known). She monitored year-over-year investment results and adjusted accordingly. She was, really, amazing. I jokingly begged her repeatedly to manage my money for me…  She was super involved in the condo association board and the landscaping committee… She loved it all! In a very understated way, she was a driven woman – a woman who ‘needed’ to make a difference in her world… For the most part, mom was known as a sweet and quiet woman… but when she wanted to get something done, watch out… she was fierce.
 
One of mom’s super-powers was packing the trunk of a car when we went somewhere – or a closet or storage space. It was like she was playing Tetris – manipulating things in such a way as to use every square inch of space. She would have probably been a great engineer…
 
Other than her favorite daughter and dad, mom had three things she loved in life: gardening, travel, and tasting.
 
She always had things growing on her back porch – flowers, vegetables…whatever. She loved tending to them and enjoying what would grow and bring beauty or taste wonderful at the dinner table…
 
Dad’s career allowed them to travel all over the world as he presented papers or attended conferences or spent time on sabbaticals. Mom always tried to learn a bit of the language of wherever they might be (when she first started doing that, it was via recording on actual vinyl, then she graduated to cassette tapes). She loved seeing how other people live and learning about different cultures and seeing so many famous sites…
 
Then there was ‘tasting.’ Mom didn’t just love good food. She was very much into taste testing and comparing flavors. When the famer’s market movement really got going in California (where I moved), she absolutely loved visiting the markets and tasting and comparing all the samples. The best time was at the height of stone fruit season, in the summer, when our favorite vendors would have 30 varieties of peaches, nectarines, plums, and apricots. Mom was in heaven… 
 
          As most of you know, the past few years haven’t been easy for mom. In 2020 she broke her knee… she started having major short-term memory issues. She was hospitalized twice, and then the stroke and arrythmia. Yvette was a life saver. She cared for mom and dad in wonderful ways and we owe her our heartfelt gratitude for all she did… Yvette – you made it possible for mom and dad to stay in their home far longer than they could have without you. You enriched their lives with your care and your love. Thank you SO much for all you did. You are an angel…
 
          One of the things I’ll always remember mom saying was, “I don’t know what I think until I hear myself say it.” Mom – I say it now: You will ALWAYS hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and who you were and how you impacted our lives. We will love you forever…
 

 
Helen R.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement and sympathy. Every one of them has been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
          As you all know, these past few years have been tough ones for mom. Her first stroke was in 2019, and they just kept coming until she wasn’t able to do much for herself anymore. But she had been a fighter all her life and didn’t give in easily. Back when she was just 34 she had an aneurism that put her in a coma for weeks. They didn’t know if she’d make it or what kind of life she would have if she did – but she pulled through and worked hard and made a full recovery. And, all my life I’ve been so glad she did. Mom was my best friend. I loved her because she was so selfless and truly loving and strong. All her life, she gave and gave of herself, and that giving made her genuinely happy. I will forever miss her.
 
          Mom was the second from the youngest among 14 brothers and sisters. It was during the Great Depression and her parents just couldn’t feed all the kids, so mom was sent to an orphanage from age 7 to 12. She’d tell stories about how the nuns taught her how to cook and sew and curl her hair. She said it wasn’t a bad place to grow up – but she desperately missed home. She’d say that, in those days, she was poor but happy. I suppose it was that orphanage experience that made her the loving, giving person she was. It made her appreciate the simple things of life and taught her not to value material things too much.
 
          Dad and mom met in Detroit, Michigan when they were just teenagers. Mom lived in a duplex next to dad’s mother. Mom and grandma Rasnick became friends and shared in their common missing of dad, who would be gone for weeks or months at a time, sailing the Great Lakes. Dad passed last year. They had been married for 65 years!
 
          I can honestly say that Debbie, Karen, and I never knew a day in our lives when we weren’t loved – by dad, of course – but mostly by our dear angel of a mother.  She stayed home with us throughout our entire growing up years. It was wonderful having her always there. Her life focus was on her girls…
 
          I know that she did work at a dime store when I was a baby. She took me along and I played in a playpen while she worked. But as soon as I outgrew my little enclosure, that ended. There was no way she was going to leave me with a sitter…
 
          Mom was always a very positive woman – outgoing, friendly, very social. Her generosity was amazing. She often gave when it seemed she had nothing – very resourceful…
 
          One of the things I remember so well, was how mom would sew and make Debbie, Karen and me matching dresses. She was an outstanding seamstress and she loved doing crafts. When I got married, mom made the bridesmaid dresses. She helped make the centerpieces for the tables, she helped pick out colors to decorate, she was a great help in planning everything. Sharing it all with mom made it almost magical.
 
          Mom had a way of making everyone feel loved and safe and secure. She taught us all how to love one another and how to listen without judgement – to always be forgiving and loyal…
 
          We lost Karen at age 43. I don’t think mom ever got over that grief. She missed her middle daughter forever after. Her girls were part of her very soul…
 
          Other than us, mom loved her grandkids ‘just a bit.’ Theresa, Lisa, Melinda, David, Christopher, Rachel, Alexander, Leah, and Zachary. Those nine were the absolute loves of mom’s life. She thought she loved us – but her grandkids were something else, altogether. When they were little, mom would spend time baking with them, playing and talking and laughing. She’d crochet superhero dolls for the boys and princess dolls for the girls. She’d make holiday pillows and blankets… And it was the greatest joy of her life to see them grow up into the wonderful adults they have become (Leah and Zachary are still in that growing up stage, of course, but she loved to see them in the growing up process)… Mom’s passion was her family. She was invested 100% in all of us…
 
          If my math is right, mom has 13 great grandchildren and one great-great grandson. What a legacy she leaves. I hope that all you grandkids and greats will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you grow older. I hope you’ll see her kindness and her love for others in yourselves, her selflessness and strength. I hope you’ll see her creativity and love for family. I hope you’ll see her faith… In YOU she lives on in the world.
 
          Mom’s faith was something that sustained her throughout her life. She would read the Bible every day and pray. I’m pretty sure she asked God to bless or help everyone in this room at one time or another. She wasn’t a big church goer, but she loved the Lord completely.
 
          Mom had so many talents. I mentioned sewing, but she could crochet beautifully and knit. She loved doing puzzles, reading, and doing crafts (mostly jewelry). And she was incredibly handy. She could fix just about anything.


          Oh – another things she was good at… video games. She LOVED video games and could easily beat me any time we played and usually could beat any of the grandkids who were brave enough to take her on… She never let ANYONE beat her.
 
          She was a light in all our lives and I know we will always hold her dear.
 
          Mom - I hope you can walk and run and dance now, the way you loved to before the strokes. If you are with Karen and daddy, please squeeze them tight for me and tell them we miss them and love them very much! If I could just have five more minutes with you, mom, I would love you more in that five minutes than I ever had in my life. If I had only known that last hug was our last, I would have held you much longer! You were an angel in our lives – and now one who will grace God’s kingdom forever. We love you – we always will.
 

 
Hillary S.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to our mom. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called, expressing sympathy or giving words of encouragement. All of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Our mother found her calling in life in her kids – to be an amazing mom – to be, at the same time, our best friend. We – Tyson, Shelbie, me and mom thought of ourselves as “The Four Musketeers.” Mom told us that, if we didn’t have anyone else in the world, we had each other and that was all that mattered. Something she always said to us, was, “We’ll figure it out. We always do…” And that was mom. Always optimistic – driven – knowing her capabilities – unstoppable – strong willed… But when it came to her children, we were always right.
 
          Mom had a rough childhood, growing up. She and her mom didn’t have a great relationship – so much so, that she promised herself that she would give her kids what she never had. She left home when she was sixteen… She never wanted us to feel the void she felt when she was young, so she kept us close to her heart and raised us to love one another.
 
          Mom’s mother passed away four months ago, but before she passed, mom was able to make peace with her. She sat and talked with her for hours as they learned to love and forgive and understand one another again. And she reconnected with her brother, rebuilding a relationship with him and his family, as well. FAMILY to mom was the most important thing in the world. Making those reconciliations, was one of the greatest accomplishments of her life…
 
          Mom inherited her mother’s cat, Casper, when she passed. Casper is a rather ornery cat, but we loved him. He is SO spoiled. He demands daily rubs and you better not touch his head or he will smack you. He loves to nibble on toes to get your attention. He will wake you up to play with him, even if it’s 3:00 in the morning, because he will not tolerated boredom. Moms Aunt Georgia used to tell her the cat was a perfect match. Mom was the wild child growing up…

          Mom could never say ‘no’ to any of us kids. Partly because that’s who she was, and partly because of the way we asked her for things. Mom was a major sleep talker. When we were kids, whenever we wanted something, we’d wait until she went to sleep and started talking and then we’d ask her for whatever it was we wanted – she’d always say ‘yes.’ Then, in the morning, when she didn’t remember even talking about it, we could honestly tell her we did and that she said, ‘yes.’
 
          Mom was always very proud of us and how we turned out. She loved getting together with her friends and bragging about our achievements… and her grandkids…
 
          Mom had four grandkids whom she adored. I’m pretty sure the days on which Alita, Tristan, Trinity, and Kai were born were the most joyous of my mother’s life. I’m the only one of her kids who hasn’t given her a grandchild. We had numerous long talks about it. To her, her children were sacred. She said that, when times get hard, one’s children make life worthwhile.
 
          You four grandkids…It is my hope for you that you will each, as you grow older, see much of your grandmother in your own lives. I hope you’ll see her intelligence, her ambition, her generosity, her friendliness, her compassion, and her toughness. She wanted all those for you. You are your grandmother’s legacy. In you, she lives on in the world…
 
           One of the things mom loved to do was shop… But not in the malls or in the stores. She didn’t have the patience for that. For mom, the joy of shopping was all online. When packages would arrive on the front porch, she was like a kid on Christmas morning. (Although the real Christmas mornings were actually a bit stressful for her. She wanted to buy the grandkids everything they wanted and for the day to be perfect in every way – filled with smiles and laughter and joy…)
 
          I’ve got to admit, I share mom’s passion for online shopping. When I had a day off work, we’d online shop together. She had SO many clothes – many she hadn’t ever worn – but that didn’t stop her from buying more. Her favorite purchases were pajamas. She LOVED having new, fresh pajamas to sleep in.
 
          Mom and I lived together for ___ years. I am a travel nurse, so when I was home, we had a standard routine. Mom would wake up early, but she would wait for me to get up so we could go in the kitchen together and cook breakfast, while having our morning coffee. That was our time. Whenever I was away, I always looked forward to mom’s good-morning and good-night calls. She never missed a day without calling me. We would also talk numerous times throughout the day, on the phone. Mom was the start and end to my days. I’m not sure how I’ll manage without her…
 
          Mom loved Christmas, but Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. With it coming up next week, having had her in our lives will be our greatest thankfulness. Missing her will be our greatest heartbreak…
 
          Mom was a wonderful cook and Thanksgiving was her favorite because we’d all cook together – everything made from scratch. He specialty was turkey stuffing and gravy…
 
          Mom was a person that never put herself first. She would find a way to put a smile on her face so everyone else was happy even on the days she didn’t feel well. She was never ill enough to go to the doctor. She was convinced that ibuprofen could take care of just about any ailment.
 
          Mom was SO outgoing. She was always the “life of the party,” as they say. She left a space in the heart of each and every person who was lucky enough to meet her. She had SO many friends – many going all the way back to her childhood. She was amazing at keeping contact. She loved Facebook, Ticktok and Snapchat (she’d send us pictures every day on Snapchat with all kinds of funny filters).

With everyone she knew, mom seemed to be the person of choice to go to when you need that shoulder to cry on. She always gave a sense of comfort to anyone and everyone.
 
Mom lived her life the way she wanted to. She was who she was and learned and grew from the mistakes she made. She always taught us to walk with our heads held high, no matter what life throws at us.
 
One of the things she did ‘her way’ was to vape. She gave up smoking a long time ago, but discovered vaping and wouldn’t stop, no matter how much her nurse-daughter tried to get her to…
 
Mom was the best mother we could have ever asked for. She showed us what unconditional, heart-felt, motherly love was…
 
Mom - - You were the best. You will always hold a place in all of our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Irma M.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our mother. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of encouragement or promises to keep us in your prayers. All of those have been so much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Most of you know that our momasita has had a weak heart for the past twenty years, but her true heart – the heart that was ‘her,’ was strong to the end. Her love was always there, her caring for others never wavered, her commitment to her faith in Jesus remained strong and vibrant.
 
          It wasn’t always easy. Our father died when he was only 52, leaving momasita alone to raise the three of us – me, John and James. She worked very hard to make ends meet and to be present with us there, at  home. She was an amazing mother. There wasn’t a day in our lives when we didn’t know we were loved.
 
          When momasita was 40, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Forty years ago, that diagnosis was pretty much a death sentence, but she was determined to pull through and not leave us without a mother. She always said that it was her faith that kept her alive. And who can doubt it? She was a woman who walked close to God every day – praying and reading her Bible and living a life that was honoring to her Lord…
 
          Momasita grew up on a ranch, in a large family. She’d tell stories of her and her brothers and sisters helping to pick the fruit and vegetables – cooking with her mom – working hard, really – but contributing to the family – doing something useful… She’d tell us stories of her growing up years. One story was about the fact that they had chickens on the ranch. Every day, she’d count them (not as one of her chores, but just for herself). If there was one missing, she KNEW there would be chicken served at dinner that night. She said she always refused to eat it. She felt those chickens were like her pets. You just couldn’t eat one!
 
          Before they were married, momasita worked with our father and then, later, at Jostin’s in Summerland. Then she worked at Kilovac in Carpinteria, for several years before she was diagnosed. Momasita was always a hard worker and found that the best part of being employed was the relationships she built with co-workers. As you can guess, momasita was loved by everyone…
 
          She had this wonderful ability to make people quickly become comfortable around her. She listened to them and they responded by sharing, with her, some of their most intimate thoughts – their problems and life issues. She let them know that she was there for them and lent them much needed support. And none of it was ‘fake.’ Momasita really did love everyone. She wanted to help strangers as well as family and friends. If it meant her going without something because she gave to someone else, that was OK with her… That was the way it should be. Even in our complex, in these past couple of years, whenever she’d meet someone new, they’d soon be in deep conversation and then, before long, she’d be making them homemade salsa or something else they loved. She really was a beautiful person – inside and out…
 
          Of course, momasita’s greatest love in life was her family. She LOVED having us all together. She never wanted to miss a family event where the people she loved most were all in one place. She was always so positive and filled with joy that we all loved it that she was there. Earlier in her life, when she’d have family functions, the food was always in abundance and in a great variety. She loved to cook, and doing it for family was her pleasure… We’ll miss her so much… Momasita grieved when we lost James three years ago – losing her youngest… She never got over it, of course. How could she? She SO loved her kids…
 
          But I’m not sure she loved any of us a much as she loved her grandchildren, Chadwick and Jordan. Watching them grow up to be the great young adults they are was the greatest joy of her life. And the great grandkids: Nova and Jace… She adored them (and they, her). They absolutely lit up whenever she was around. She would cook for them, play with them, they’d go to the swimming pool together. She’d even sleep in their bunk beds once in a while.
 
          I hope that you grandkids and great grandkids will see much of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her joy for living, her love for others, her devotion to family and to God, her wonderful smile and sense of humor. YOU are her legacy. In you she lives on in the world…
 
          Momacita lived with my family for the past couple of years. It was an honor to have her in our home – to see the joy she brought – especially to Jace. The two of them were so close…
 
          Momasita’s life philosophy was to always love unconditionally and always be willing and ready to forgive. And, I suppose, that is the lesson she’d want us to learn from her life and example. It’s the lesson she learned, long ago, in Sunday School and the way she lived her life every day.
 
          Momasita – we’re going to miss you more than we can say. You were so good and gracious and kind – generous and humble. I would hope to be half the woman you were… You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Joyce A.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to my mom. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with word of encouragement and sympathy… Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Mom didn’t have an easy life. She was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia when she was just a child and suffered with pain, always. Then the stroke three year ago… But pain never defined my mother. Mom was a child of God and that relationship with Him gave her tremendous strength – so much so, that most people had no idea that she was suffering… Mom’s Faith in God gave her a positive attitude towards life. She refused to complain about life here on Earth because she knew that, if we remained thankful to God, we could see all the possibilities life had to offer. She showed all of us that through faith you can see through your circumstances and still enjoy what life has for you. She was confident that God has a plan and that that plan is always, ultimately, for the good.
 
          It is mom’s faith that gives us the greatest comfort in losing her. We know where she is. We know that her suffering has ended. We know that she is with dad again and happier than she’s ever been.
 
          But I’ve got to admit, even in the midst of mom’s faith, there was a little irreverence because of her sense of humor. One of the things she remembered quite clearly, and referenced often, was a plaque that hung in her parents home when she was a child. It said, "In this house we serve God and we serve Him well, all the rest can go to hell" I’m not sure that’s great theology, but mom loved it… Throughout her life, mom was a model of faith, strength, and perseverance, and I loved her dearly.
 
          But, as much as I loved my mother, I think she may have loved me even more. I’m pretty sure she got her certificate as a teacher’s aide when I started school just so she could be with me. She once actually stated that once I was born, she never let me out of her sight.
 
          She did, of course, from time to time. I remember one incident when I was little. Mom was having a bad day, so I attempted to braid and bead my own hair. It was a major disaster.  When I headed out, the beads all fell out. I was totally embarrassed.  But mom, despite being ill, swooped in to make me feel better and redid my hair and, once she was done, that was the best my hair had EVER looked. I was more important than her pain or anything else in this world. How can you not love a mother like that with all your heart?
 
          My kids, Cimera, Aaliyah, Ariana, and Godfrey, had a wonderful grandmother. Mom LOVED sitting, watching movies and TV shows with them, talking with them, finding out about their lives. She loved feeding them their favorite foods… I do hope that all four of you will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her love, her optimism, her courage and strength, her internal beauty, her compassion for others, and her faith. YOU are her legacy. In you, she lives on in the world.
 
          Mom WAS a beautiful woman, both inside and out. When she was young, she was a model. She travelled with the Barbizon Modeling Agency for a year or so, traveling, doing fashion shows. She liked the shows and the glitz, but didn’t like the atmosphere much. She said many of the models has substance abuse issues… not where she wanted to be.
 
          She became a nurse’s aide. She worked for a couple of years in a nursing home. She recalled, with pride, that her employers commented on her work ethic and reliability on the job and her kindness in dealing with their residents… Then, as I said, she became a teacher’s aide to keep an eye on me…
 
          For a while mom and dad worked together – at the Harvard University School of Public Health. She worked part time, but truly loved spending that time with dad, having lunch together (fish and chips was her favorite). She even enjoyed their commute into Boston, spending ‘quality’ time with one another…
 
          The two of them were so much in love… They met through a mutual friend. It seems that mom was visiting the friend and dad happened to be visiting at the same time. Dad said that their first encounter was when mom opened a door for him. He said he followed her through the house to find out who this beautiful young woman was… From that moment on, they were inseparable. One of their favorite things to do was to go fishing at Houghton's Pond on Saturday's – or maybe shopping in New Hampshire on their twice a month outings, or sitting quietly, enjoying their western shows (Gunsmoke, Rifleman), or catching up on the News, or watching their game shows, ‘Wheel of Fortune,’ ‘Jeopardy,’ ‘Judge Joe Brown,’ or  ‘Judge Judy.’ Dad would often like to watch his sports events and, though mom wasn't a big basketball or football fan, she would watch the games with him and often inquire on different plays. I can still hear him say, "Joyce, just watch the game!" I never knew whether her constant distraction and seeming curiosity, was intentional or not, but my father wasn't amused.
 
          After mom’s stroke, dad was amazing in helping her with her daily needs and activities – always there caring for her – loving her… We lost dad a couple years ago. We moved mom to Alaska to be with us, honoring her deepest desire to be with family. It was an honor, really, caring for her. She was always bragging to people about how we were taking such good care of her. We tried our best and loved her always.
 
          Beautiful, Strong, Protective, Intuitive, Endearing, Loving, Compassionate, Caring, Inspirational, Knowledgeable, Smart, Optimistic, Courageous, Confident, Memorable… Those are a few of the words that describe my mom… a wonderful role model of the Christian faith and motherhood and goodness.
 
          Mom - - Thank you for the way you loved me. Thank you for being such a wonderful example of faith, appreciation, and trust in God. You were an amazing mother… You were an amazing PERSON. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Lucy A.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. You’ve all been so kind, sending cards and emails and calling with words of sympathy and encouragement. All of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          As most of you know, life with mom took us all on a roller-coaster. Because of her mental illness, all her relationships were tumultuous. Judie, Reuben, Luis, and I loved mom (she was our mother. You HAVE to love the person who gave you birth, who raised you and loved you), but it wasn’t always easy to like her.   …the things that could come out of her mouth…
 
          Mom really had two separate and distinct lives: her first thirty five years and this past thirty (her 65th birthday would have been this coming Monday). And those lives were VERY different from one another.
 
          The first half of mom’s life obviously began when she was born. She had thirteen brothers and sisters. The family didn’t have much and the stresses and problems were enormous. Abuse was present…
 
Mom’s childhood didn’t define her life, but it did make her the person she was. When she grew up, she had tremendous sympathy for those who were without and worked tirelessly to help others – no doubt, in part because she had so little in her own life when she was young...
 
          One of my favorite stories is about mom and dad shortly after they got married. It seems that dad came home from work one day and was a bit surprised to see that the window dressings were missing – no curtains, no blinds, nothing. “Lucy – Where are the curtains?” he asked. “I ran into a young woman I know. She and her husband just moved into a new apartment and they’re starting to get their lives together. They had no curtains, so I gave her ours.” THAT’S the kind of woman mom was. It didn’t bother her one bit that THEY went without. Someone else had a need and it gave her immense pleasure to be able to help.
 
          It took dad some time to get used to such antics, but eventually he got on board and became her “partner in crime” in the giving front.
 
          Dad passed 14 years ago. He loved mom so much… Before he died, he took such good care of her. He was the perfect care giver… Together they pastored the “God’s Victorious Army” church for a number of years. Mom’s ministry was to go to prisons to teach prisoners some basic life skills and to do Bible Study with any who wanted to. In the community, she worked to feed the homeless. She helped drug addicts find help for their addiction. She was a woman who would give anything and everything she possibly could to help someone in need. Mom was a true Christian in every sense of the word. She followed the teachings of Jesus to reach out and love others and to sacrifice for their good. She had the ability to love and accept people no matter who they were or what they were like… And, even though she herself couldn’t benefit from it herself, she was always trying to be positive for others – to encourage and upbuild and affirm them…
 
          Mom was a storyteller. She’d let her imagination run wild, and she’d come up with some truly wonderful tales. When we were kids, she would hold us spellbound with her stories of Pepe, a young, mischievous boy who had all kinds of adventures and got into all kinds of trouble. I imagine some of the stories were adaptations of some of the TV she watched. She loved “I Love Lucy” and “The Honeymooners.” She and dad were hooked on “Judge Judy.” All of those, obviously, are about mischief and trouble – and, except for ‘Judge Judy,’ are quite funny in their antics.
 
          The grandkids didn’t hear many of her stories. Alexis, perhaps, remembers some of them, being the oldest, but the stories more-or-less went away when her difficult years started…
 
          When mom was in her early thirties, she would have times of deep depression. She’d sometimes disappear for months at a time. Nobody knew where she was or what she was doing. We all knew something was happening to her, but couldn’t figure out what. Then, one day she went to bed and never had the will to get back into life again. …And thus started the second half of her life – not nearly as wonderful and charitable and good as the first half… The second half was marked with pain and confusion and emotional torment.
 
          Mom changed. If you knew her in these past years, you know she could curse like a sailor (no offense intended to any of you who might have been sailors). She just had no filters at all. She would say whatever was on her mind and express it in an especially vulgar way. At times it was awkward or embarrassing, but in some ways it was hilarious and we had to laugh. She always had such a quick wit and a comeback for anything… As strange as it may sound, mom never lost her faith or stopped loving God, even though she cursed Him every other second…
 
          During this past thirty years, mom’s world was so very small. It has always broken my heart to think of that. No close relationships. Not much contact with the outside world. Nothing to look forward to – just more of the same. Her biggest request of anyone, in the past decade or so, was for some fries and a coke. Those gave her a bit of pleasure.
 
          But mom leaves a legacy that will go on. All 4 of her children are deeply caring people. Dealing with her, over the years, gave each of us a unique perspective on human beings. We are much more tolerant of others, we don’t put unrealistic expectations on others, we don’t project our own issue... We understand that each person is different and what they endure in their life impacts how they engage in this world. It’s not our job to change anyone. Acceptance goes a long way. It frees the mind and eliminates disappointment based on unmet expectations. For that, we are all grateful to this woman we called ‘mom.’ She taught us, directly and indirectly, to be giving, unselfish, passionate people… and those are qualities we pass on to our children. She was our mom, so we loved her, no matter how complicated she and our relationships might have been.
 
          Mom loved the music of CeCe Wynans. One of her songs, ‘The Alabaster Box,’ speaks volumes and seems totally appropriate as mom enters her eternal home. It’s about Mary, who came to Jesus in total humility and washed his feet and dried them with her hair:
 
The room grew still as she made her way to Jesus.
She stumbles through the tears that made her blind.
She felt such pain, some spoke in anger
Heard folks whisper, "There's no place here for her kind."
Still, on she came, through the shame that flushed her face
Until at last, she knelt before His feet.
And though she spoke no words, everything she said was heard.
As she poured her love for the Master, from her box of alabaster
 
And I've come to pour my praise on Him
Like oil from Mary's alabaster box.
Don't be angry if I wash His feet with my tears
And I dry them with my hair.
You weren't there the night He found me.
You did not feel what I felt
When He wrapped His love all around me and
You don't know the cost of the oil
In my alabaster box.
--------
         Mom - - We have loved you in this life. Your life was so hard and you suffered so much. But you will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever…
 

 
Maria S.
Good morning. I’m ___________, Arturo’s son. I will be reading my dad’s tribute to my grandmother, for him.
 
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to my beautiful mother. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
These past eight years have not been easy ones as we saw mom losing her lifetime of memories and her ability to carry on her daily routines – as we saw personality changes and her enjoyments diminish. But these recent years were not the whole of who mom was. She was, really, all her life, the best mother in the world. She was the best mother Luis, Victor, Hector and I could have had, growing up. She was kind and nurturing. She had a wonderful sense of humor. She was always there for us… ALWAYS…
 
Mom lived with us for the past seven years and, together, we all had some wonderful times. The caregivers and my wife, Esther, were amazing with mom. They gave her unconditional love (which is exactly what mom needed). They made so many sacrifices of time and energy every day. NO ONE could have given mom better care and a better life in these past years than them. Esther, I want to publicly thank you for all you did. You made mom’s last years as good as they possibly could have been. Thank you for always being by my side and always being so supportive as we cared for my mother.
 
Mom grew up in Juarez Chihuahua, Mexico. She was fifth among 15 brothers and sisters! It wasn’t an easy life. Putting food on the table for that many kids, made her father work practically around the clock. Mom would often tell stories of how she would walk for miles to take her father lunch and how wonderful it would be to eat together, just the two of them… 
 
When mom was a teenager, she met dad. She was just 17, so she’d have to sneak out at night to go see him (history repeats itself – that’s what Esther did when we were young…it seemed to work for my parents and it worked for us..). My parents got married and, when Luis and Victor were young, they came to Pasadena for a better life.
 
And they found it. My parents were married for over 30 years when he passed. That was SO hard for her. Dad and the four of us were her life. Losing dad was the hardest thing she had ever experienced. She never got over losing him…
 
Mom’s job, all her life, was caring for all of us. But she did have an outside job, once. About fifteen years ago, she got a job at a mall in Las Vegas. She liked it well enough – until we came to visit her from California and suggested she come back with us for the holidays, as she did every year. She said, “I’ll ask for vacation time.” Unfortunately, she had been working there for less than a month, so the boss, obviously, said ‘no.’ So she quit… never even went back to pick up her first and only paycheck ever… so mom’s resume was a bit on the thin side. Being employed just didn’t work for her! She enjoyed her freedom too much to be tied down…
 
Mom’s primary focus in life was her family. I’m sure the four of us sometimes drove her crazy – but that was all forgotten when the grandkids started coming. There are 13: Jessica, Joshua, Nicoles, Erica, Maya, Christian, Monique, Mark, Adrian, Marissa, Alejandro, Anthony, and Alexis. [Your grandmother adored each one of you. You can all remember her when she was fully herself. Remember those days. Remember the laughter and the more serious conversations. Remember how she’d always tell you that she loves you ‘too much’. Remember her kindness and gentle spirit. Remember the holidays with family together, and the birthdays... She was SO happy to welcome each of you into the world on the days you were born, to watch you grow up into wonderful young people – to graduate… You guys are her legacy. In you, your grandmother’s life goes on. 
 
I’ve always been especially grateful for my mother’s relationship with our kids (Adrian, Manssa, Alejendro, Anthony, and Alexis) – Each spent hours and hours with their Nana. They adored her and she them. They will always miss her….
 
And 9 great grandchildren: Kaiya, Kaelen, Avery, Mason, Junior, Rosabelle, Isaac, Rene, and Ivan. Mom was almost overwhelmed with the little ones. Seeing that next generation come along thrilled her…
 
Another of mom’s great loves was her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Accepting Him into her life, she would say, was the best thing she had ever done. Mom was a woman of faith and it impacted everything she did and everything she was. And it is that faith that gives us our greatest comfort in losing her. We know where she is. She is with dad and everyone she loved who has gone before… and with Jesus…
 
I remember what a great cook, mom was. She loved being in the kitchen, making something, and when you walked into the house, the smell of whatever she was making, filled the place and you knew you were in for a great meal. Mom’s mission in life was to cater to the needs of everyone she loved.
 
Shopping was one of mom’s special pleasures, too … or watching Novellas on TV. She would get so involved with the characters and the plot twists… And, if her little chihuahua, ‘baby’ was with her, watching, that increased her enjoyment.
 
Mom loved listening to music, especially Juan Gabriel… Hearing his voice and his beautiful music gave her great enjoyment…
 
I look back at mom’s life and I see so many sacrifices she made for her kids and grandkids. She was a giver (sometimes feisty, but always a giver). She was a wonderful woman and I learned so much from her. I’m pretty sure that the kind of person she was caused me (and maybe some of you) to always put family first – to love deeply – to be always kind.
 
 
Mom – you were the best. Thank you for all you did for us in your life. Thank you for the example you set. Thank you for loving us ‘too much.’ You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Mary S.
It is one of the great honors of my life to stand here today and, along with you, pay tribute to ‘Grandma Mary’ (she wasn’t always ‘Grandma Mary.’ When we were young and she was younger, she was just ‘Mrs. Rodriguez’ – the mother we all wanted as our own). I’m reading her eulogy on behalf of Rick and Joe and, even though he is gone, Tony. Here is what Rick has given me:
 
“I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today to honor and remember Joe and my mother. In the past several weeks so many have reached out with words of encouragement and, now, sympathy. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Joe and I (and Tony) always knew we were special. We literally lived with a woman who had a thousand sons but were the only ones who could call her ‘mom.’ She was an amazing woman and the love she shared in her world was phenomenal.
 
When mom was 19, she married our father and they moved to California. The three of us were born but, soon after, the marriage fell apart. Mom packed up her three energetic young sons and moved us back to Harlingen. That move changed all of our lives, forever. She got a job at the Marine Military Academy as a seamstress (and later as the Quartermaster’s assistant) and met the love of her life, MSgt Lawrence B. Tichenor (he was a part of the Marine Corps President’s Own Band – he served under 6 presidents! Mom was SO proud of that).
 
But mom wasn’t just a seamstress at the academy. She looked around and saw all those young men (boys, really), who were away from home, missing their parents (some only inwardly – others obviously) and her maternal instinct kicked into high gear. For 28 years, mom consoled, gave hugs, flashed thousands of warm smiles, gave hundreds of words of encouragement, countless invitations to our house for a home cooked meal. She started and ran the Parents' Club and was deeply involved in the Marine Military Academy Mother's Club to help insure that the cadets would have what they needed from their new home away from home. She was always ready to lend a helping hand to anyone on campus. Mom was love personified…
 
Part of mom’s appeal to the boys at MMA was the fact that she was always so positive. Her mission in life was to help us all see the bright side to whatever was going on (even when there didn’t seem to be one). She was firmly convinced that everything happens for a reason – that even with the bad some good comes – whether it be at work or in relationships or in life in general. Expect good – look for it. It’s there even in the dark times…
 
To say that our mother loved her job would be to understate it. MMA was her life. The boys were all her boys. She shared all their joys and fears and hopes and dreams. She was the kind of woman who would gladly and willingly sacrifice if it would help another person…
 
Joe and Tony and I were the lucky ones. We were HER boys! There was never a day in our lives when we didn’t know we were loved by this woman. She'd always say that she never had any issues with her boys at home (I’m pretty sure time dimmed some of those memories. I’m quite certain that the three of us gave her sufficient grief over the years). She always said that she was grateful that her boys were better than her (I don’t think that is even remotely possible). She was all about making our lives as easy as she could make them so that they wouldn't have to struggle as she did, trying to make ends meet. She was all about sacrificing whatever was necessary for her boys and her grandkids..
 
Mom has ten grandkids: Elvita, Justin, Monika, Rebecka, Jacob, Richard, Andrew, Joseph, Daniel, and Kade. Your grandmother adored each and every one of you. Watching you all grow up and become the wonderful young people you are gave her the greatest joy of her life. Seeing what you are accomplishing and doing – knowing of your kindness and goodness – you were all such wonderful blessings to her. I hope that, as you grow older you will see so much of your grandmother in your own lives. I hope you’ll see her kindness and her sense of mission. I hope you’ll see her work ethic and her optimism. I hope you’ll see her willingness to go beyond the call of duty in helping others. I hope you’ll see her faith… You 10 are her legacy to the world. In a very real sense, her life goes on in the world through who you are and who you are yet becoming…
 
I suppose it was mom’s faith that made her know that all things would work out in the end (the Bible teaches that)… and her love for others… Mom was a dedicated Christian. She assisted by cleaning her church and setting up whatever was needed for services…and she did it all gladly. For God – for her church family – whatever was needed, she was ready to supply.
 
Our mother was an amazing woman – always there for anyone who needed her – always aware of what was going on in a person’s life and wanting to make it better – always willing to sacrifice, if necessary, to help…anyone.
 
Mom always said she never worked a day in her life at MMA because she loved every minute of what she did. Thousands of young men (many  of them now middle aged) were recipients of her love. She was their ‘mom’ as surely as she was Joe’s and Tony’s and mine… We all loved her….
 
Mom always loved decorating her home for every season. In her later years, after she left MMA, mom forever enjoyed making her home and, later, her living facility, beautiful. And, of course, at her facility, she was in charge of bingo… She'd go out and buy prizes and trinkets for everyone who played. Card games would be a regular event, enjoyed by her and her friends for hours, at least 3 times a week. She was the instigator… Fairly often she'd get all her friends together and they’d go to the Dairy Queen and enjoy some ice cream and good conversation and laughter…
 
Resilient – determined – thoroughly unselfish – loving. That was her…
 
Mom – you will NEVER be forgotten. You will always hold a place in so many hearts and find yourself in so many memories. You have shared your love with us and we will all love you forever…
 

 
Patricia D.
I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called my brothers or me with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
Mom has lived with me and my family for most of the past decade. And it has been so good to have her in our home. She was my best friend in the world and we are all going to miss her immensely. Especially the kids. She and Jaxon were best of buddies. Mom retired 12 years ago, just after Jaxon was born and she started watching him full time when he was six months old. She would take him swimming at her pool when she lived in the apartment and they loved to just sit and talk as he got older.  He would go down to her room, at our house, and watch movies with her for hours. Jaxon always wanted to know if she was okay.
 
Mom moved in just after Grayson was born. She could sit for hours just watching him build things with his Lego. She and Declan would sit in his room and read books or play with his toys in the living room. They would joke and laugh and call each other “bad baby.”  I’m not sure he fully understood what her role was in our house, but he loved her so much…They would sit at the kitchen counter together and he would look her in the eyes and ask, “how was your day, grandma?”  As if he knew that’s all she needed to make her day special. 
 
          When mom visit at Jesse and Brook’s house, she would always come home and tell me how adorable and smart Liam and Lilly were. She’d share pictures she took of them and tell all about their time together…
 
          Mom’s grandkids meant the world to her, even those she didn’t see often – Owen, Stella, Austin, and Patrick… I hope that they all will grow up seeing some of their grandmother’s personality and qualities in their own lives. I hope they will all see, in themselves, her love for everyone, her kindness and gentleness, her intelligence and her wit. I hope they’ll love the outdoors as much as she did and, if they have the opportunity, to love horses and enjoy the thrill of riding like she did. Each of them carry a bit of their grandmother in their genes and in who they are and, in them, she lives on in the world.
 
          If you look at mom’s life, you discover that she didn’t have it so easy. She lost her father when she was 13. Her youngest brother passed away when they were in their 20s. Her first husband died shortly after they were married. She survived breast cancer, a heart valve replacement, two knee replacements, and a broken femur… but she was still always optimistic about life and looked forward to every day. She was a confident woman, sometimes tough, always hopeful, and, as anyone who knew her would agree, she had more than her share of stubbornness. 
 
Mom always rooted for the underdog. That’s one reason she did so well as a paralegal. She always felt that she was doing something that mattered and helped people. I’m not sure whether it came from her work, but I often heard her say “mean people suck.” She had little tolerance for self-centered, selfish, narcissistic people.
 
While working in the law offices, one of the cases she worked on was the Columbine High School shootings. That was really hard on her… She loved those kids she had never met and her heart went out for the families and all the students who were there on that terrible day…
 
I think mom would have said that she had been brave enough to choose the more difficult paths in life… She’d say she ‘rediscovered’ herself several times over the years as she evolved.
 
Mom had some wonderful friends… She was very close to Aunt Jill, her sister-in-law – especially after Kelly died. They moved to California together to raise their young boys. They loved eating good food, drinking wine, listening to music, and going to the beach. Living, really, very wonderful lives…
 
Then there was Carol (my godmother).  Mom lived in the apartment above Carol in Hermosa Beach (in California). Mom was dubbed the “Queen” by the group of their friends who quickly became more like family.  They spent all their time together.  Cooking, sharing their lives, laughing, listening to music, telling stories, going to the beach, and taking road trips.
 
          Mom’s friend, Cindi, lived across the street – she always said mom was so wise and a great listener – but not much of a helper. Mom always showed up for things like, canning tomatoes or making tortellini, but never wanted to be assigned a job.  I think it was because, all her life, she hated being told what to do.
 
          We moved around a lot when I was younger. Mom wasn’t a fan of that. She would have rather had us stay there, in California, soaking in the sun, going to the beach and being near family…
 
          One of mom’s great passions in life was riding horses (I mentioned that earlier). She and I shared that love. Riding was something we did together – so much fun – so many great memories… I suppose I will always think of her when I see someone riding or pass a horse ranch…
 
          Mom loved music, too: Springsteen, Jackson Browne, Warren Zevon, Van Morrison, B.B. King… One of the most fun concerts she ever went to was to see Bob Dylan at Red Rocks… She spoke of that often…
 
          Mom’s faith was important to her, too. After her dad died, Uncle Michael said that mom found peace in the catholic church. He said she was, back then, passionate about reading her Bible – even as a teenager… As she grew older, she wasn’t so much enamored with religion as she once was, but she always trusted and hoped in God… There is comfort in that in a time like this…
 
          The past three years or so were very difficult for mom. She was in considerable pain and that brought her spirits down… and because of the pain, her thinking was often clouded… but I can tell you, she never ceased being the loving, caring, person she always was. Her love was unconditional and always there for any of us…          
 
Mom - - Thank you for being my biggest fan – and the biggest fan of all your kids…  Because of you, we know how to show our children the love they deserve.  Life without you feels impossible, but I will be brave like you showed me how to be.  Thank you for being the best daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and most of all, mother. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we will love you forever.
 

 
Rita T.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. We’ve received so many cards and emails and phone calls expressing sympathy and giving encouragement… Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
I’ve always thought that, if I could grow up to be the kind of woman my mother was, I’d be the luckiest person in the world. I still think that, and I hope I am getting to be more and more like her every day.
 
I remember, as a child, my mother was my hero. She was love personified. I remember that I would, sometimes, find myself staring at her in awe. It was like she glowed – radiating love and light. I knew, even back then, that I would be loved forever… and that has to be the most secure feeling any child can have.
 
As I grew up, mom became far more than my mother. She became my best friend – almost like a sister. We had that kind of closeness where there is almost a sixth sense – we would simply KNOW what the other needed or wanted or was feeling.
 
My daughter, Piper, is 5. I’m pretty sure she had the same experience I had as a child – looking at her grandmother and seeing nothing but love and acceptance and caring and, if need be, protection from whatever dangers there may be. I know, for certainty, that the day Piper was born, was the most joyous day of mom’s life. She absolutely adored that little one. Mom sat with her a lot, before she got sick. They loved playing hide-and-seek or going to the park to play. Mom’s specialty, in Piper’s eyes, was her making grilled cheese and tomato soup. I’m trusting that the strength of mom’s love will cause Piper to remember her when she’s older… and it’s my hope that Piper will inherit mom’s sense of humor and her gregarious personality, her kindness and warmth and love for others.
 
The spring before mom’s stroke, she, Piper and I took a ‘girls trip’ to Bald Head Island. It was wonderful. We stayed at a cute little Airbnb. We toured the island together, had a day of painting clay figures at a local paint-n-play shop, climbed the Old Baldy lighthouse and we laughed and talked and had a wonderful time… For some reason, I remember feeling like I never wanted to forget any detail of that that trip. It was a special time, but, somehow, I felt it might be the last trip we would take together… and it was. Will Piper remember it? I don’t know. But I know that I will, always. It was one of those special times that can never be repeated…

This church was a very special place to mom. Mom brought me here, literally, all my life. She had some truly wonderful friends here. I can’t begin to name them all – that wouldn’t be fair – but Judy Cornwall was one that does have to be named. Judy and mom have been friends for decades. Judy – thank you for being such a good friend to mom, for loving her and for all the good times you had together… And the same to all of you who loved mom… thank you for loving her as you have…
 
They tell me that mom was a bit of a ‘tom-boy’ when she was young. Mom and Uncle Jimmy and the other boys in the neighborhood were always up to something – rough-housing, going on adventures, playing games of all kinds… Aunt Tina said she remembers mom, in those early years as a girl always dancing around, being silly and happy (I like both those images – mom as a tom-boy and as a totally happy child)…
 
By the time she was a teen, though, mom had really come into her own and became a brilliant beauty. She became “Miss Roanoke Valley” at age ____.
 
When she finished high school, mom got a great job with a telecommunications company that allowed her to travel all over the country for several years. She loved that. She had the ability to talk with virtually anyone about anything and loved meeting new people. But, I think that, at heart, mom was a ‘home-body’ and tended to want to stay close to home. So, when I came along, that’s what she did. She spent full-time raising and loving me… Always being there when I needed her. I’m not sure I was always the perfect child or teenager, but she saw me through all of it with grace and love. For years, every time we saw one another or talked, her greeting would be, “Hi, my baby.” And every time I heard those words, all her love once again surrounded me and filled me.
 
 Later, when I grew up, mom would find her niche in furniture sales. She had a natural ability to put things together and she loved helping people make their homes into what they wanted. And, of course, she was so outgoing and gregarious, customers loved her and trusted her. She ended up being the top sales person in the store several times during her time there… She loved that work and everyone there loved her…
 
After she retired, Mom loved doing crossword puzzles, and jumbles. She loved watching Hallmark movies and decorating for every holiday – going on family outings (or ANYTHING with Piper), laughing and meeting new people… shopping or going to the movie theatre with friends… Mom was loving and funny. She was caring and compassionate.  She was kind and warm and bubbly. She was the best mother a girl could ever have and I’m going to miss her so. And, I know, I’m not alone in that. So many have loved her and experienced the love she shared so freely with everyone…
 
Momsie – In so many ways you’ve been an inspiration. You demonstrated what it means to love without condition and you practiced it daily. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Rachel G.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many of you have reached out to Dayna and me and our families with cards and emails and texts – expressing sympathy and giving words of encouragement. Thank you. Every one of those has helped so much.
 
          I think I know what mom would say about today (even though she’d have been so pleased that you all came to honor her). I heard her say it so often. She’d say, “Well – It’s another shitty day in paradise.” (Mom could be a bit inappropriate at times). Sometimes, even here in Newport Beach, one of the most beautiful places on earth, thing don’t go exactly as they should. Mom’s passing is certainly a testament to that – especially since her other ‘go to’ phrase was “I’m going to live to 120!”
 
          I suppose it’s true of many mother/daughter relationships, but mom’s and mine was a bit shaky at times. Growing up she seemed always to criticize and point out my shortcomings (or so it seemed). Even into adulthood, she was sometimes a bit rough on me (Dayna, too, I suppose). But, interestingly, although there aren’t many good things to say about Alzheimers, mom’s brought us together closer than we’ve ever been. She’d call me her ‘beautiful girl’ and pay unwarranted compliments. Alzheimer’s brought out the sweet, loving part of her personality…
 
          Mom had quite an interesting life, really. For a number of years, she worked at Capital Records. She would create the Jutta box music artist labels. She loved to tell about the time she delivered dentures to Sammy Davis Jr.
 
          After she married our dad, she was a homemaker and then, when we were a bit older, she became a real estate broker. I’m not sure she was in love with the job, but she did enjoy the social aspect of it and the money she made.
 
She was always a social woman – she could talk to anyone – very outgoing – she had a great sense of humor.
 
Mom grew up in Minnesota – moved to California when she was eight. But, somehow, those first eight years totally impacted her life. We had a bit of the Midwest in our backyard. Mom had a rose garden – and ducks and chickens (you don’t see many backyard ducks and chickens in Los Angeles)… Mom made sure that our childhood home was totally dedicated to her kids. We had a swimming pool and swam all the time. She let us have our friends over constantly. It really was an idyllic upbringing. We even had monkeys on the wallpaper in the house – just for fun (and great for a conversation starter). …So many great memories… Music was always playing - Neil Diamond, Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion and Michael Bolton; Julio Iglesias ….and more…
 
          I remember mom, from time to time, would let us ditch school and go to the beach to make sand castles. On a trip to Hawaii, she bought shells and tossed them onto the beach for us to find… the ski trip to Idaho, where she made a fake ID for me so I could go out and have fun at night… I said that she was tough on me, but she was also awfully good – fun loving – adventure seeking – living life to the fullest. Mom always encouraged us to try new things. She’d say, “Try it. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.” She wanted us to enjoy the arts, plays, nature – whatever life held out… And she had the wonderful ability to forgive. When we did something wrong, she’d let us know, but then she could let it go, never to be brought up again. Thank you, mom – for all the forgiveness and love…
 
          Mom was devastated when we lost David. He would have been ____ now. He died ___ years ago. I don’t think she ever got over it until Alzheimer’s took some of those memories away…
 
          Mom loved all three of us, but when the grandkids started coming along, mom’s love entered a whole new realm. There are nine of them: Jonas, Austin, Tanner, Jacob, Natalie, Elizabeth, Christina, Elijah, and Evander. Except for the last two, they are all young adults, but when they were little, mom was a wonderful grandmother. She was the type of grandma who would get down on the floor and play with them. She would take them to beaches, amusement parks, traveling, cooking, museums, plays – and anywhere else she decided they’d have fun.
 
          I hope that each of you grandkids will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her zest for life, her sense of humor, her outgoing personality, her friendliness, her thoughtfulness and her ability to forgive others. You are her legacy. In you she lives on in the world.
 
          Mom had some wonderful friends. Betty, Lois, Stephanie… others. I think she met all of them in Fullerton. They played Majong together and gossiped and told one another their secrets. All you women – mom’s friends – thank you for enriching her life the way you did. She loved you all so much.
 
          Mom had two great granddaughters, too. Sloan and Journey. Journey is 11, so she’ll remember her great grandmother, but Sloan won’t have the opportunity to know her, being only 17 months old. But hopefully we will all have stories about her that we can tell such that she will feel she knew her and how important she was in our lives.
 
          Mom met a lot of her best friends at her synagogue, __[names]_______. She got involved in many of their events and projects. One she felt especially good about were the walks for cancer she helped promote and run.
 
Playing tennis, skiing, swimming, painting, cooking, volunteering, listening to music, going to concerts and plays… Mom’s favorite things. When she was doing any of those, she was in paradise – nothing shitty about life on those days..
 
Mom - - You were such a powerful influence in our lives. We will never forget you. You will always have a place in our hearts and we will love you forever.
 

 
Mary M.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to mom. So many of you have sent cards and emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Claudie, Guille and I were the most fortunate people in all the world. There was never a day in our lives when we didn’t know that we were loved by this amazing woman (and our amazing father). In our eyes, she was the most special person who has ever existed. And she loved us unconditionally. When any of us succeeded at anything, mom just glowed. Seeing the joy on HER face at OUR accomplishments made any work or struggle we had put into it, worthwhile.
 
          Mom had quite an interesting life. She always said that her life in Cube, growing up, was good – she had a great family – a home filled with love… She had a special bond with her grandfather, Rogelio. He’d give her a quarter every week and taught her how to save money (something she learned well and tried to pass on to her own children – although, in my case, she may not have been completely successful)…
 
          One of the stories she loved to tell was about when her grandfather went away on some kind work-related trip. He’d put the key to his safe in her hand and tell her to keep it secure. She was just a child! There were three other adults in the house! But her grandfather entrusted his sacred key to HER…
 
          When she was a young teen, mom went to the Quinceanera of a friend. During the party, she saw several boys climb over a fence to get in, crashing the party. She didn’t think that was right, but she did happen to exchange glances with one of those rather rowdy boys and, in that glance, found the love of her life. Mom and dad were married for over half a century! He came to the United States a few years before mom – to save some money and to do all that was necessary to get her here legally. Then, when she was 19, she packed up and left family and friends and all the life she had ever known… She came here knowing little English and, other than dad, not another soul…
 
          But that all changed pretty quickly. They built a beautiful life and a beautiful family through hard work, in a country which she loved dearly and appreciated until her last day, for giving her the opportunities that it did.
 
          Mom had SO many friends. She spoke to and treated everyone she knew with respect, so everyone loved her.  She was always ready and willing to listen and reach out to people who needed her.  She had a knack for staying in touch and following up when people had concerns. Mom even had friends from her childhood: Maritza, Ana, and Nancy. You three were wonderful – talking with her every day at the end and praying for her and encouraging her and giving comfort... Thank you for all you did…
 
          Here’s how loyal mom was to people she loved (or even just liked): She maintained relationships with several of my old girl friends… for years… Just a bit awkward, at times… But that’s how mom was. Tremendous kindness and, just because they weren’t in my life anymore, didn’t mean she should just let them go…
 
          Mom brought with her, from Cuba, several very important things. She brought her faith. She brought her eternal optimism. And she brought her work ethic.
 
          Mom’s faith was deeply rooted in who she was. She attended Catholic schools as a child and all her life her group of friends would spend hours praying rosaries and for others (those friends loved taking annual  “girl trips” – if you can call 70 and 80 year old women ‘girls’). I’m pretty sure they didn’t pray the entire time away. I know there was plenty of laughter and revelry going on…
 
          And her optimism… Mom was the most positive person I’ve ever known. She always had hope (I’ve no doubt that came from her belief in God). She believed that any obstacle, no matter how bad, was beatable and could be overcome.  She was the ROCK of our family, and, as I’ve been told by many, she was a source of inspiration to them in their times of need.  She had a way of making people believe in themselves and to feel that they could overcome anything. She would tell you that all good things in life come from struggle. You just have to believe that you will get there. This was the way she faced her illness – fighting until the end and always willing to try different treatments and medications, no matter how tiring and burdensome. 
 
          Her work ethic… Mom spent most of her working years at UPS (she was ALWAYS at least 15 minutes early for her shifts). She had SO many friends there. Mom was always the one to set up events for coworkers, like birthday parties or baby showers, bridal showers, or whatever...  She’d also help her co-workers with whatever they needed in their personal lives if she possibly could.
 
          Mom’s favorite job, though, started after she retired. She went to work for Claudie in her dental practice (although I don’t think mom ever really thought of it as work). She’d greet the patients and treat them like part of the family. I know Claudie loved having her there – almost as much as mom liked being there… 
 
          But, of course, mom’s real family got the bulk of her love. When Guille died, mom was devastated. Losing him was a grief for her until her last day on earth. In fact, on her last day, Claudie asked her if she was ready to go see Guille… She gave us that beautiful smile of hers - one that I will never forget…
 
          The greatest joys of mom’s life were named Justin, Sofia, Aiden, Lucas, Olivia, and Dylan. Watching those six grandkids grow up into the amazing young adults they are now, was the greatest thing in mom’s life. She lived for her grandkids and was always there for them.  Claudie’s lives on the West Coast near mom and dad, and mom would take her kids to and from school, to practices, doctor appointments, events and anything else they were involved in...  She was always buying them excessive gifts and plenty of donuts.  My kids lived 2 hours away from her but she was always droving over for their school events, big games, dance recitals…  Occasionally she would come visit early, before the weekend, so she could pick them up at school and drive them to get stuff – usually ice cream. She always made sure to send them gifts and mail them cards for every holiday, including Valentines Day and even Halloween.
 
          Your Niño absolutely adored each of you guys. I hope that, as you get older, you will see much of your grandmother in your own lives. I hope you’ll see her faith and her kindness. I hope you’ll see her generosity and her empathy for others. I hope you’ll see humility and her courage. I hope you will be as loyal and reliable as she was. You are her legacy. In you, your Niño lives on in the world. There is nothing she would want more than for her children and grandchildren to live a virtuous life through God, and always be kind human beings with love for everyone…
 
          Mom loved Facebook. I don’t want to say she was addicted to it, but she DID spend a lot of time there. She’d post daily prayers and keep up with friends, but mostly, I think, it was a way of telling everyone she knew how proud she was of Claudie and me and her grandkids… I hope we can all live up to the glowing picture she painted of us to her friends…
 
          Mom radiated warmth and love and comfort. That’s why so many of us loved her. She was the best…
 
          Mom – thank you for the wonderful example you set for everyone you knew – an example of faith and good works and love. You will always hold a place in our hearts and we will never forget you… and we will love you… forever.
 

 
Fanny F.
          Good morning. I’m ________. Tamara has asked me to read her eulogy about her mother and I am honored to do so, on her behalf. She writes:
 
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to our mother. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called Lester, Fadil or me with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          These past four years have been difficult ones for mom. She simply wasn’t well. It seemed that, especially in this past few months, she continually grew weaker – until God called her home. I’m positive that it was mom’s faith that kept her strong throughout. She knew that God was by her side, encouraging her and holding her hand and that all she was going through would end in her going to her eternal home with the Lord. Her faith is what makes losing her so much less painful… We know where she is.
 
          Mom grew up in the Caribbean in, what she described, as a ‘carefree’ life… Family – church – good friends – and, of course, ideal weather. She moved to St. Thomas to find a better life for herself and us, then to Boston. THAT may have been the greatest challenge of her life. She had never experienced the frigid New England winters, but her pursuit of a better life for us was unstoppable. She worked hard, earned the appropriate certifications, and achieved her dreams. She worked at the UMASS medical school for a dozen years and 20 years, part time, at Brigham and Women’s Hospital as a transcriptionist.
 
          As strange as it may seem, mom never intended to move to Boston. One summer, she vacationed in New York City and liked the energy and busyness of it all. Then she visited Boston and decided, on a whim, to move here – just a bit of her adventurous spirit coming out… and it turned out to be the perfect place for her.
 
          Mom loved her work at the hospitals. She was such an outgoing, funny, gregarious woman that she made friends easily and felt that the people around her became more like family than co-workers. And she knew she was doing important work – for the hospital, for the doctors, and for the patients.
 
          When we were growing up, mom was super supportive and encouraging. She always wanted us to push ourselves further – to reach higher and take advantage of whatever opportunities presented themselves. For all of that, Lester, Fadil and I are eternally grateful. There was never a day in any of our lives when we didn’t know we were loved by this dear woman. Everything she did, she did for us… She was so proud when we graduated from our different schools and earned the various degrees and certifications to become successful in life… That was her deepest desire – to see us do well…
 
          …And then there are the grandkids: Ashley, Fadil jr., Aaryn Alexis, Omari, and Sydney. She absolutely adored each one. I’m pretty sure that the most joyous days of mom’s life were the days on which each were born… and little Eden, too – her great grandchild.
 
          Mom was especially close to Aarynn Alexis, because she was her grandmother’s travelling partner. They travelled all over the United States and many places throughout the world together. Mom loved to travel and to have someone go along and see things and enjoy and explore with her, was wonderful. Thank you Aaryn Alexis. You so enriched your grandmother’s life (and I know you had a wonderful time doing it).
 
          My hope for all of you grandkids is that you will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you grow older. I hope you’ll see her love for others, her sense of humor and easy laughter, her generosity, her willingness to listen – her ability to be attentive, her passion for life, and even her faith. You are her legacy. In you, your grandmother lives on in the world.
 
          I’ll never forget mom’s sense of joy in life. She loved being around people. She loved to sing and dance (it wasn’t uncommon to hear her on the phone with someone, singing a hymn with them). She loved music and embraced life and all things beautiful. She was outgoing and funny and everyone she met loved her… That was mom.
 
          Mom had lots of friends (many of you here today were her friends), but there is one, Ermine, whom mom has known and loved since they were seven years old. Mom said that, when they were young, they’d read “Nancy Drew” books together and try to solve the mysteries. They played together and grew up together and saw one another through all the ups and downs of life. Most of us don’t have life-long friends, but once you were a friend of mom’s, you were a friend forever… She was amazing at staying in touch with people – she always made time for everyone – her kids, her friends, her family, wherever they might be…
 
          She was a terrific mom. I’ve heard so many people, over the years, tell me that “she’s so sweet.” And she was. We couldn’t have asked for a better mother…
 
          One of the things she always used to say was “give me my flowers now because you’ll miss me when I’m gone.” That was so true. From time to time we DID give her flowers, but that doesn’t change how much we miss her now that she is gone.
 
          Mom – You knew how to love us all unconditionally. You taught us the importance of family and hard work. You taught us how to face hard challenges and laugh in the face of adversity. You were amazing. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Virginia M.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to one of the best women I’ve ever known. So many have sent cards or emails or called with words or sympathy or to let us know you are praying for us. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          Emily Dickinson wrote: “A Mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.” That was our mother – an amazing, wonderful woman, who was always there with an encouraging word or something funny to say so that whatever might be troubling you, could be momentarily forgotten.
 
          There are nine of us – Mother’s kids: Suzanne, Kevin, me, Sheryl (our mother always told us that she had to take what she got when it came to Kevin and me, but that she “chose” Sheryl. I suppose that was meant to make Sheryl feel more loved and special – I’m not sure how ‘taking what she got’ worked out for Kevin and mel). Then, there’s Alan, Sherry, Tony, Tammy, and Todd… Mother loved all of us dearly. She’d have done anything for us – and often did.
 
          I can’t speak for my siblings, but I know that I wasn’t an easy child to love. Yes – I was handsome and smart and quite talented, but I got into more than my share of troubles growing up – starting pretty much from the day I was born. I blame it all on mother. I inherited her mischievousness – her penchant for pushing the limits to see how far I could go. Along the way, I made some regrettable choices, I’ll admit, but mother was always there to support me. She never, for one minute, lost faith in me. She was always my biggest fan, no matter what. I will be forever grateful for her love and infinite ability to forgive…
 
          Tammy says the same kind of thing. She wrote: :  Until Ginny came into my life, my ‘mother figure’ was an older babysitter, named Joyce, who cooked and cleaned while my father ran his truck route, away, sometimes, for days at a time.
Even before our families merged, I remember trudging up the street in the morning before school, where Ginny would brush and braid my hair. Even then, she took me into her family and loved me like her own.
She did not give birth to me, but she was my mother in every sense of the word. I thank her for teaching me, loving me, and mothering me. There is a quote that says, "A mother is a person who does everything for everyone and never asks for help. Also makes the best meals, desserts and snacks." I mostly agree with that, except for the chicken cutlets and liver that she made us eat.
 
Mother was the consummate mother to SO many. We nine were certainly the major recipients of her warmth and nurturing, but there were so many more… The grandchildren, of course: Kathleen, Harvey, Catriona, Camren, and Spencer. I hope that the five of you will see SO much of your grandmother in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her friendliness to everyone, her deep-down caring, her sense of humor, her kindness, even her faith, which was so important to her. YOU are her legacy. In you, she lives on in the world.
 
But there were over a hundred other lives she profoundly impacted. For nearly thirty years mother ran a day care out of her home. During that time she helped raise nearly a hundred kids – often over a dozen at any given time. Some of “her” children arrived in the morning, many more after school, and some even stayed with her for days at a time, when their parents were away.
 
She considered every one of those children as part of her family. Many have continued to visit her and help her out in any way they could. Some of those ‘kids’ are here today
 
On the other end of the age-range, mother cared deeply for the elderly. She spent decades of her life volunteering at various senior homes. She would organize bingo, she’d have them singing, she’d organize social events. She spent countless hours just sitting with those who were dying, so they didn’t have to die alone. Taking care of others – that was mother’s calling and her greatest joy in life.
 
While mother could sit quietly and be with people as they left this world, she was NOT a quiet person, as most of you know. She was outgoing and gregarious. She was one of those people who ‘never met a stranger.’ A stranger was simply someone she hadn’t yet made into a friend…
 
Mother loved to bowl. She loved to be out on a lake, fishing. In her quieter hours she enjoyed working on puzzles or, maybe, baking a pie for someone.
 
One of the things mother did best was to create a safe place for people – just by being who she was –  by being open and friendly and encouraging and non-judgmental…and letting them know they are loved. Her life was dedicated to simply being kind to others.


I’m pretty sure that mother’s faith was one of the things that formed her person. She was actively involved at the Truro Heights Baptist Church. But it wasn’t the church that formed her, it was her God. From the time she was little, she heard the stories of Jesus’ love and compassion and forgiveness and KNEW that was the way we all need to be.
 
It is also that faith she had that gives us our greatest comfort. She believed that, when we leave this earth, we take up residence in the heavenly kingdom. She is there now!
 
Mother had some wonderful help and support in these past months from her sisters, Polly and Carol and numerous friends and family (thank you all SO much). She appreciated everything everyone did… She lived her life as a care giver – to be on the receiving end of that humbled her and made her ever so grateful…
 
Mother – You were an angel among us on earth. You touched SO many lives. You brightened so many rooms. You mentored so many of us. Thank you. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Maureen G.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all, on behalf of my siblings and myself, for being here today as we say a final farewell to our mother. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement… Every one of those is very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
The writer of the book of Proverbs wrote:
 
Who can find a woman of worth?
    Far beyond jewels is her value.
11 Her husband trusts her judgment;
    he does not lack anything…
13 She seeks out wool and flax
    and weaves with skillful hands…
15 She rises while it is still night,
    and distributes food to her household…
17 She girds herself with strength;
    she exerts her arms with vigor…
20 She reaches out her hands to the poor,
    and extends her arms to the needy…
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom;
    kindly instruction is on her tongue…
27 She watches over the affairs of her household,
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband, too, praises her:
29 “Many are the women of proven worth,
    but you have excelled them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting;
    but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 
          I think the Proverbs writer is, most certainly, talking about mom. Mom and dad were married for 60 years, when he passed back in 2012. They were high school sweethearts and pledged to live their lives together… And dad got his money’s worth. He got a woman who knew how to raise a family and run a household… a woman who cared deeply for others… who could keep seven children in check (most of the time)…a woman who had a thirst for learning (she was always taking community college courses, attending business seminars and researching local issues)… and a woman of the deepest faith most of us have ever encountered.
 
          It was that faith that saw her through losing her daughter Laurel and continuing on after dad passed. It was that faith that caused her to be a tireless witness to the goodness of God and the desire to bring others into faith…
 
          Mom really was an amazing woman. Most of her life she was a homemaker, but not just any homemaker. She was actually recognized by the OSU Extension as a Home Economics expert.
 
          When mom wasn’t making a home for the seven of us and dad, she was working for the Archdiocese of Portland as a professional lobbyist on Right to Life legislation. She provided legislative reviews for the Catholic Sentinel through the Archdiocese Council of Catholic Women. She informed of pending laws up for a vote by the Oregon House and Senate, regarding Catholic social issues.
 
Mom was never one to back down. She was super tenacious and believed that, to make a difference, you needed to jump in and take charge, never waiting for others to lead. She was a woman who couldn’t be swayed from her convictions and principles… those being formed by the church and her devotion to Jesus Christ and the blessed virgin.
 
          This church was at the very center of mom’s life. St. Mary’s was her second home. When she was here, she found peace and inspiration. She loved the people and the music and the liturgy and the sermons. She loved the things the church stands for and the outreach into the community that makes a difference in people’s lives… She was a woman who always looked forward with optimism and faith… When she encountered trials in life, her faith gave her strength, and she was able to get through them…
 
          Our mother was a woman who could be a very dynamic and, sometimes, ferocious warrior on behalf of those who could not help themselves or didn’t know how to navigate the laws, rules and protocols in place. She always loved people and wanted desperately to help them in any way she could.
 
          Mom was a member of the Compassionate Friends organization – a support group for families who have suffered the loss of a loved one before their time. She also participated in the Victims Impact Panel for families who have had a loved one killed or injured because of impaired driving. It was all close to home and she knew the pain these people suffered…
 
          One of mom’s ministries was running a Catholic bookstore, “Good News,” for twenty years. She started it and kept it going – to make money, of course, but probably even more so that she could spread the good news of her Lord to others or to share the joy of faith with other believers who came in…
 
          Mom’s greatest joy in life, above all else, was her family. She adored her seven kids, but the grandkids made her love for us look like nothing. I’m pretty sure that the days on which her grandkids were born (17 of them) were the most joyous days of her life. The older ones got the most one-on-one time, because she was younger. She and dad took them to Disney Land and on several other great adventures. She was older for the younger owns, so couldn’t do as much, but, really loved them all with all her heart… And then there are the 13 great grandchildren. I KNOW that she was overwhelmed with that next generation coming along… I know she was so proud of every one of them…
 
          I do hope that all you grandkids and great grandkids will inherit many things from your grandmother – her determination to make the world a better place, her passion for doing right, her tenacity, her kindness, her strength, her dependability, her integrity… and, of course, her faith (she’d want that more than anything). Her life goes on in the world through each of you. You are her legacy…
 
          Mom loved family trips and family get-togethers. She loved spending time with her friends (many of whom are gone now). She loved to travel around the United States. Earlier on, in her life, she took trips to Ireland, England, Medjugorje to worship, and several cruises around Europe. She loved seeing new places and people and how they live… In her later years, she developed a passion for watching Oregon Football and she was an LA Chargers fan (She knew the family of Justin Herbert, the QB).
 
          We’re going to miss mom. She was such a genuine and generous person in every way. She was an inspiration as to how to live the Christian life – not just sitting by and watching, but getting out there and doing…
 
          Mom – thank you for all you were in our lives – for the example you set – for the faith you lived – for the good person you were. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever..
 
EULOGY FOR  BOTH PARENTS
 
Bob and Jean T.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all, on behalf of my sisters and brothers and me, for being here today as we say a final farewell to our parents. Many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement. Thank you… All of those have meant so much.
 
          I think I can speak for all five of us when I say that mom and dad’s highest priority in life was us. Whatever we did, whatever we attempted to do, whatever successes or failures we might have had along the way, both mom and dad were as supportive and encouraging as parents could possibly be. They ALWAYS put us first.
 
          Mom and dad both grew up in Wilkes Barre, PA. When dad finished high school, he joined the Army and fought in the Pacific theatre during World War II. Like most wartime veterans, dad didn’t talk about his experiences much… better just to leave those memories in the past. But we knew that war changes a person and that some of who he was had been formed in those wartime years….
 
          When dad finished his duty with the army, he went home to Wilkes Barre, where he met mom. It was at a YMCA dance. I don’t know all the details, but I do know they fell in love and got married on Memorial Day weekend back in 1948 – 75 years ago this year.
 
          They had the five of us: Marita, me, Donna, Michael and Patrick. They gave us wonderful lives. Dad found work in Ferndale, Michigan – first as a milk delivery man and then as a tool and die maker for Erie Industries. Mom was a ‘stay-at-home’ mom, dedicating herself to giving us the best lives possible.
 
          Dad had the kind of mind that allowed him to look at a problem or work job and figure out the best way of handling it. He loved it. He worked at Erie for nearly forty years, until he retired.
 
          Along the way, the five of us gave them ten grandkids: Sharon, Steven, Meghan, Katy, Kelly, Sarah, Casy, Mary, Matthew, and Emily… and, to date, they have eleven great grandkids. [to grandkids]. It is my hope for all of you grandkids and great grandkids, that you will see a lot of your grandparents in your own lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see your grandmother’s gentleness, her optimism, her sacrifice for those she loved, her grace. I know that, in these past years her dementia changed her a lot, but most of you knew her well when she was fully herself. Remember her that way and know how much she loved you… And I hope you’ll see, in your lives, your grandfather’s gregariousness, his work ethic, his ability to think things through, and his love for family. And that you’ll all see both of your grandparents commitment to always doing your best and treating everyone as a friend…and never giving up – always striving to finish what you’ve started. And, of course, I hope you will all see your grandparent’s faith in your own lives – their commitment to God and their daily prayers… YOU are their legacy. In your lives, they live on in the world...
 
          Mom and dad lived through some of the most momentous events in history: the Great Depression, a World War, the space race and men walking on the moon – not to mention the advent of the computer and cell phones and economic booms and busts… When I think about it, it is truly astounding how much history they saw in their 90+ years… the adjustments they had to make, the ‘new’ things they had to learn…
         
          One of the things mom and dad always enjoyed, in their younger years, was bowling. They bowled on a few leagues over the years and truly enjoyed the people they met and the friends they made… They enjoyed the laughter and the camaraderie, the joy of being with others, having fun... In more recent years, as they got older, they gave up bowling, but they always still enjoyed watching the Tampa Bay Rays on TV or, maybe, some other sport.
 
          In his earlier days, dad loved to ride his motorcycle. I remember going on motorcycle trips with him, up to Flint (that’s in Michigan), to visit this favorite coney dog restaurant. I remember mom working around the house, listening to her favorite country/western radio station (yes, little Italian women actually do that), and dad to his Tijuana Brass (Herb Alpert playing some upbeat tune). I remember how outgoing and talkative dad was (always working at getting to know a person) and how mom was so quiet – almost shy and retiring... I remember how both of them made sacrifices for us (although they never considered anything they did as sacrifice) – and how fair they always tried to be when meting out discipline… Wonderful parents – wonderful people. We were so fortunate to have them in our lives.
 
          I suppose the greatest legacy mom and dad left us had to do with the lessons they taught – through their words and their actual lives – of how to be good parents and good citizens – to always strive to do the right thing and to make no apologies for that.
 
Mom – Dad – you will always hold a place in our hearts. You have been wonderful parents and friends and human beings. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 
 
EULOGIES FOR A SISTER
 
Patricia A
I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for joining us as we say a final farewell to Patricia. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called Lou, or me or others in the family, with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
I know that going to funerals or memorial services or celebrations of life are so hard for most of us. I know that some people hate going but go anyway…and that truly shows how much someone like Patricia Ann means to us…
 
I suppose it isn’t uncommon for an older sister to take on the role of a second mother to a brother who is considerably younger. And, it isn’t uncommon for that little brother to idolize his so-much-more mature older sister. That was Patricia and me. Beth used to drive Patricia crazy when she’d call her “Mother Oliver.” She’d say “No, no, no. Don’t call me that. That’s what we called grandma.” It made her feel old. But Patricia WAS like a mother to so many of us. In fact, when Patricia and Lou moved back to Camarillo, from New Mexico, back in 19__, she ran her own daycare for six of us, me included. You can’t get much closer to being a mother to kids than taking care of them all day long, five days a week… Of course, Brian, Mike and Steve were her real children, but Patricia had enough love for all of us.
 
When we were in elementary school, Brian, Mike and I would walk to school by ourselves – quite a distance. We felt very grown up… I once commented to Pat that kids could never do that nowadays. It would b too dangerous… She told me that you couldn’t do it back then, either. She said that she followed us every day…
 
Patricia met Lou at a sock-hop back in high school. They didn’t see one another for a few years after graduation, when Lou was in the Army, but they reconnected in San Francisco, when he was assigned to a base there… They were married for 61 amazing years and I know that Patricia loved Louis more than she could ever express. And it went both ways. Lou was phenomenal in his care for her in these past few years. After her knee surgery, Lou began to do more and more for Patricia to provide her with the quality of life she deserved. He cooked, he cleaned, he drove her around, he fixed her cocktails (she loved her cocktails)… Lou was always there to pick her up when she fell - - and she fell a lot. Maybe that’s the very definition of love:  someone who is always there to help you up every time you fall… That was Lou and Patricia… Sacrificial and unconditional love for one another for more than half a century…
 
Patricia and Lou have five grandchildren: Melissa, Ashley, Kenton, Wade, and Gillian – and one great grandchild, Elliott. I truly hope that each of you six will see a lot of your grandmother in yourselves as you get older. I hope you’ll see her kindness and love, her intelligence (she was a straight ‘A’ student in high school even though she tended to major in ‘social activities’ – she loved to have fun). I hope each of you will have her positive outlook on life and her love for family and friends and neighbors. If you do, you will truly honor your grandmother and, in you, she will live on in the world… YOU are her legacy.
 
I have a couple of quotes from the grandchildren (and I think that each one speaks for them all): Ashley said: She was my biggest supporter. She showed me what unconditional love felt like and looked like. She was a best friend and a grandmother all in one. She knew all my secrets and she  loved me, anyway. I could tell her anything and she'd listen.
 
Gillian said: I'm not sure how to describe it: she was just the heart and soul of our entire family.
 
Kenton says: I will always cherish the memories made when we went to Camarillo to celebrate holidays and during the summer vacations when we would spend a week there. Later in life, we did have an all around loving relationship that really thrived through humor. At every family event, it seemed that we would always end up next to each other, just joking around about random things. She will always have a special place in my heart and i will always be grateful that I had her in my life. She only wanted the best for all of us.
 
Patricia once said to me, “I can get along with anyone if I must.” And she pretty much did. And everyone loved her… Even in her 80s she still had friends from high school… THAT is loyalty to relationships. I’m not sure that her friendships with Nancy Stewart, Mary Louise, Mary Cordinier, and Judy Moulton all went back to high school, but I do know she dearly loved all four of you. Getting together for lunches or just getting together to talk and share your lives gave Patricia Ann some of the most joyous times of her life. Thank you all for enriching her life the way you did – and for so many years. She adored each of you…
 
          Patricia and Louis had so many friends and enjoyed life so much. They went on 31 cruises! – many of them with friends. They spent some wonderful family vacations on the Colorado River, they reveled in having family in for the holidays – laughing and talking and sharing their lives… Nothing gave my sister greater joy than just being with people she loved…
 
          Unless you factor her dogs into the equation. She may have loved her little furry children more than any of us. She had several over the years. She kept their cremains in little boxes all over the house. Her little Beagles, Schnauzers and their latest Chica were truly the loves of her life (shamelessly spoiled – every one of them).
 
          Patricia worked for the Ventura County Resource Conservation District for over 25 years. She did everything, from keeping the minutes of the board meeting to being the face of the VCRSD at the Ventura County Fair… But I always suspected that her missed calling in life was forensic science (something that didn’t exist in her younger years). When she watched her true crime shows, she often knew where the killer made the mistake, thus getting caught. I joked with her that she could probably get away with anything if she wanted to. She knew how!
 
I once took her, as a treat, to a lecture on blood splatter at the Forensic Science Institute at Cal State. She thought that was about the best gift in the entire world. She LOVED it!
 
          When she wasn’t emersed in her true crime shows, Patricia’s passion was tormenting Lou with her love for the Hallmark Channel… Either of them could tell you what was going to happen in the next scene in any of those Hallmark movies (they all have the same formula), but Patricia Ann loved them anyway… Lou tolerated them for the love of a good woman…
 
          Lou gave me something he found that he thought perfect for a day like this. It’s a poem by an anonymous author:
 
God saw you getting weary, he did what he thought best,
He put his arms around you and said “come and rest.”
He opened up his golden gate on that heartbreaking day.
And with his arms around you, you gently slipped away.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you didn’t go alone.
A part of us went with you the day God called you home.
         
 
          Patricia – You were a wonderful sister, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. So many of us will miss having you around and in our lives. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we will all love you forever…
 

 
Sandra L.
          I’d like to begin by thanking everyone for being here today as we say a final farewell to Sandy. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called Hans or Chad or Tara or mom, or one of us, with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those – and your presence today, have been much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          These past five years have been tough ones. Sandy’s journey through cancer and its various treatments, have been so hard on her family. But, I’ve got to say, Sandy was truly an inspiration. We all knew what she was going through, but she was incredibly strong and resilient through it all. And SO optimistic! Somehow, always seeing a silver lining in everything… Throughout, her inner joy and her outward sense of humor put smiles on everyone’s face pretty much every day… And that’s exactly how she would have wanted it. She never wanted to be thought of as ‘sick.’ She had that amazing smile that gave all of us hope. When she was working, everyone at Canada Post called her “Sunshine Sandy.” She brought so much joy…
 
          I’m pretty sure that, at the center of all Sandy’s optimism and hope and perpetual joy, was her faith. We’ve all heard her say it – “God’s got this.” Sandy was in church nearly every Sunday and she loved reading her daily devotional (I believe she used “Our Daily Bread”) and the Bible… she loved talking to her pastor. She loved listening to Christian music (she’d be driving around with the radio cranked up – listing to Christian music or country or classic rock). Sandy had a deep faith and I know her faith taught her that, when we die, heaven awaits. So that’s where she is today – with God and all those who she has loved who have gone before…
 
          Sandy was my best friend. We grew up together. We shared our lives, our dreams and hopes, our fears… She was one of the best people I’ve ever known. She was devastated, like all of us, when her brother, Terry, died earlier this year. He was her best friend, too…
 
          Sandy worked for the Canada Post for pretty much her entire working life (when she was a teenager she worked at McDonalds for a while – loved it – comradery and lots of new friends)… She was a mail carrier. The people on her route adored her. At Christmas time she’d come home with a huge stash of chocolates, gift cards, lottery tickets, money, liqueurs, and all kinds of other things. And she loved all of the people on her routs as though they were family… I know she delighted them sometimes, in the summers, when she’d take Tara with her on her route. Tara would be wearing rollerblades and everyone loved to meet Sandy’s daughter…
 
          But, of course, Sandy’s actual family, always took first place in everything. She met Hans at my wedding, back in 1982. They had a wonderful marriage. Hans often took her out for fun events on their anniversaries, or her birthday. They went on the Queen Elizabeth boat in their river valley, they went on a hot air balloon ride together, they once took a limo out to dinner. Sandy always loved those special ‘dates.’
 
          Because Hans did a lot of travel for work, Sandy tended to be almost like a ‘single mom’ for fairly long stretches at a time. But those times drew her infinitely closer to her kids. There was no greater pride in Sandy’s life than that she held for Tara and Chad. I know that the two of you never knew a day in your lives when you weren’t completely loved by your mother. She was so happy to see the wonderful adults you’ve become. I know that her being gone will leave a huge hole in your lives. Tara - I know she was your best friend, too – that you talked on the phonen almost every day. Your relationship with her was very special… I hope that, one day, you can be a great mom like the one you had…
 
          Then there are Dedrick and Darius. Sandy’s grandsons meant the world to her. When they were young, she babysat for them almost every weekend and they’d do all kinds of fun things. They’d go swimming, to the zoo, go bowling, skating, play ice hockey or soccer. They’d making pizza together or watch movies. They’d garden or play in the park... They called her Baba. She always went to watch their soccer games, when they played, and took tons of pictures…. I hope that both of you will see a lot of your grandmother in your own lives as you grow up. I hope you’ll see her kindness, her compassion and empathy, her sense of humor, her humility, and her love for others. When you see any of those in yourselves, think of your grandmother and how much she loved you (remember her way of saying it: “I love you to the moon!”)… You are her legacy. In you, she lives on in the world.
 
          I mentioned that Sandy gardened with the boys… Sandy LOVED to be out in her backyard, gardening. She actually had several gardens. She’d plant and water and weed and fertilize and then sit out there looking at it all and waiting and, daily, watching it all grow.
 
          One thing Sandy often talked about, was a trip she and Tara took, back in 2018 – a cruise in Alaska. She said that it was an incredible trip – after the first day (she and Tara apparently both have weak stomachs, so spent the first day terribly seasick). They ate wonderful food, they saw eagles and whales, sea lions and jellyfish. They raised some eyebrows when they went to the hot tub one evening when it was snowing. They told everyone that they were Canadians, so snow doesn’t bother them…
 
          I have to mention Sandy’s many friends. She had SO many. Iris, Evelyn, Leslie, Jan, Carol, Wendy – and others, I’m sure – all from Canada Post. She had friends from church and from the neighborhood, too. She loved going out to lunch with ‘the girls’ or having coffee and just talk and laugh and tell stories. Sandy and Evelyn went to Aquasize at the local pool with the seniors (even though they, themselves, were far from being seniors) – then, afterward, they’d jump in the hot tub… To all of you whom Sandy called ‘friend,’ thank you. You enriched her life immeasurably and gave her so much joy…
 
          With Christmas just around the corner, Sandy will most surely be missed. She was an amazing cook and, for Christmas, traditionally, she made a huge turkey for all to enjoy. …And having the family all together, made her the happiest person in the world.
 
          Sandy – my dear sister – my friend – we are all going to miss you and the funny stories you always had for us. We’re going to miss your caring and, most certainly, your wonderful smile. We’re going to miss the way you loved us. …You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we  will love you forever.
 

 
Fumita F.
These past few years have not been easy ones for Fumi. Dementia robbed her of her memories and her identity – made her a different person – one that she, for the first 80 years of her life – wouldn’t have recognized. But today, I choose to remember the Fumi that we all knew and loved so much for so long…
 
Fumi was my big sister and I always idolized her. We had SO many experiences and she was always there. Fumi was 6 when World War II broke out. I was ___. Our family was sent to Gila, Arizona, to a detention camp for four and a half years. Over the course of our lives, as we looked back on those days, Fumi always commented on how cold and how hot it was. In the winter, the desert winds cut through the barracks walls until our teeth chattered. In the summer, the sun beat down and the heat was almost unbearable. But we got through it – together – and that experience bonded us like nothing else ever could…
 
When we were allowed to leave Gila, we went to live with my uncle and aunt Kawano. Auntie Masako was a tiny, elegant little lady.  She always spoke quietly and moved about unhurriedly and with grace. She encouraged us (insisted) that we always WALK, and never run, because running was not “ladylike.” I think Fume truly understood what Auntie Masako was talking about and modeled herself after her. She was a gracious lady, a thoughtful and kind hostess and, of course, a wonderful aunt. We were so fortunate to have had her in our lives. Fumi took on her ‘ways’ – those old-time qualities of charm, grace, and good manners for which she was known…
 
Even though Fumi and I were sisters, we were SO different from one another. In a poem by Louise Glück, the writer notes that, “Of two sisters, one is always the watcher, one the dancer.” I was the watcher and I watched Fumi throughout our lives and was always in awe. When I was 14 Fumi was in college. During those years, she opened an entirely new world to me. She introduced me to Philosophy, Religion, and Existential Realism. She opened the world of poetry to me…and classical music. She was the cerebral one – the ‘dancer.’ I was the practical one, the ‘watcher.’ In my eyes, she was so unique – so bright – so elegant… I could never really be like her, but always wanted to be.
 
I will never forget our long talks on the phone at night – talking late about whatever was on either of our minds… the lunch dates… and, of course, the times our families would get together and enjoy her amazing cooking and hospitality. I remember how every dish she cooked was a work of art… She loved to experiment with new cultural dishes.
 
Fumi was so very quiet most of the time – reserved – unassuming. She was always embarrassed if she should happen to stand out. She would be the last one to ever brag about her achievements. She even denied being the Princess from our community in Central California for Miss Nisei Week. Seeking recognition or praise was never her ‘thing.’ Socializing and being in social settings was often an ordeal for her…
 
But she did achieve some wonderful things in her life. Fumi was, I’ve always thought, the brightest, and the prettiest in our family. She was the Salutatorian of her Graduating class in Elementary School, then, as an adult, she once organized a super-successful fund raiser for the Medical Group, raising thousands and thousands of dollars... She was so proud of that, but never let it show… Later she would be instrumental in giving a helping hand to the Asian Pacific Museum here in Pasadena… She supported the Asian Pacific Museum, the Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital, and was involved in their many fund raisers.
 
Fumi’s greatest achievement, of course, was her family. She adored her husband, Suyenori. Diane and Mark were the brightest lights in her life. She took such delight in the successes they’ve become.... Her grandkids, Cameron and Keira, gave her great joy. She always wished they hadn’t been so far away, but when she saw them, she was thoroughly happy…
 
Music touched Fumi’s heart and soul…She loved going to the theatre to see a ballet, especially if the Bolshoi was in town... She loved listening to classical music – Bach, Mozart, Chopin…. Truly a classy lady. She could draw and paint.. My sister was so unique, so intelligent, so good…
 
…So I offer a prayer for her today as we say a final farewell…
 
God of all creation, you allowed your child, Fumi, to be in our lives for these brief years. She brought so much sunlight, so much joy, so much love to us all. Thank you. Thank you for all she was and for all whom she touched along the way. Thank you for the example she set and the work she did – for the people who are better because she lived… Amen.
 
Fumi – We have always loved you and you will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

EULOGIES FOR A BROTHER
 
 Alan N.
          It is one of the great honors of my life to stand here today and talk to you about one of the best men I’ve ever known – my brother, Alan. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called me or Ruthann or Jill with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
          Alan did work that, for most of us, would be, quite literally, impossible. He worked with people with severe impairments (many of which were impossible to overcome) and he’d help them learn to live lives to the fullest of their ability. Often it was a goal that no human could possibly achieve. I once asked Alan what he really did to help these people. How do you help a person who you work with week after week, month after month, sometimes for years, who clearly can’t be helped? His reply revealed the very core of who Alan was. He said, “I help them to smile. That’s how I heal them.”  “…I help them to smile…” THAT was his goal! THAT was Alan’s secret of healing the broken among us…
 
          In the book of Jeremiah, we read the prophet’s words:
“’Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom.
Let not the rich man glory in his riches.
Let not the mighty man glory in his might.
But let him who glories, glory in this:
          That I am the Lord who practices kindness and righteousness and justice in the earth - and in these things I delight,’ says the Lord.”
 
Alan spent his life practicing kindness and righteousness – being the kind of person who delights the Lord.
 
          It wasn’t easy! I remember, so clearly, that summer when Alan was at summer camp… He was playing baseball. He was the catcher. The pitcher threw the ball, the batter swung as hard as he could and nicked the ball, hitting it downward. It somehow bounced under Alan’s shin guard and hit his ankle, chipping the bone… Like all athletes, Alan played through the pain and it went undiagnosed for years, the bone deteriorating slowly over a long period of time…until it was too late for healing.
 
          Alan refused to give into the pain he suffered. He joined the track team in high school and became a champion discus thrower. He joined the golf team and became the best putter in the league… all while in constant pain…
 
          Sixty years of unremitting pain…yet Alan was forever the optimist… always hopeful that he could do something with his life that mattered – pain or no pain. I like to think that Alan, himself, started each day with a smile – and that smile worked, just a bit, toward his healing.
 
          Alan looked at the work our father was doing and was inspired.
 
          Dad got the idea for a psychiatric day hospital treatment program in the early ‘60’s. He called it “community psychiatry”.  It became a model that has been replicated across the county…
 
First, dad opened a small day hospital, the “Community Psychiatric” (CPI), as an adjunct to his practice. Alan joined him in ‘71. Alan built up that program by working, every day, for over 50 years, first doing therapy, then administering the entire program. It was hard work (he was mentored by our father), but Alan was never discouraged. Alan always believed that if one day was a disappointment, he would win the next. If he couldn’t bring a smile to one patient. He might succeed on the next. That’s what Alan believed, when he went to work every day, treating some of the most difficult patients, hoping for micro victories in the battle against mental illness… and did it for half a century… If he could just bring a smile to their faces… a little healing in a sometimes very sad existence…
 
I so wish our father and mother could have seen what Alan accomplished – how he developed dad’s vision – how his compassionate soul (which they nurtured so well) helped so many. I wish his son, Danny, could have witnessed how many people loved his dad… And now, Jill is carrying on the work…the third generation! What a wonderful legacy!... Jill – your father was intensely proud of you…
 
Every year I attended a holiday event at CPI where the staff served the patients a meal. It was always an eye-opening experience for me and I loved to attend. I remember seeing an elderly woman take Alan aside and tell him of the problems she was having. Alan listened patiently.
 
The following year, the same woman told Alan of the same maladies. Alan listened again. The third year, I witnessed the same thing. At each telling, she’d look over at me and say, “Alan is my friend.” Then she’d smile… and that was a moment. I knew Alan was healing her.
 
But who was healing Alan? It was, no doubt, the two great loves of  his life. I remember of him saying of his relationship with Lynn, after she had given him their two wonderful children, “Henry, I’m floating on happiness.” He SO loved Lynn and their children. They were absolutely the bright spots of his life. He measured his success in hugs and kisses… and I know, without doubt, that they made him smile… and those smiles healed him like nothing else could…
 
In the later years, Alan was lucky to have Ruthann by his side. They enjoyed traveling together, all over America and Europe, even though he found it difficult and often painful at times. The experiences and the sights and the great food and the adventure were worth the pain…
 
In Alan’s final months, I watched, with awe, at how Ruthann cared from Alan in his long decline… Some might equal, but none could ever exceed her devotion to him.  She seemed to never fatigue; she never gave up; she never gave in. She was always cheerful, with affection and caring. Alan loved her dearly.
 
Ruthann – you made Alan so very happy. You enriched his life and made it better, in every way, than it might have been. You have been his angel. Thank you for your love for my brother – for your devotion to him – for your sacrifices. Thank you…
 
I know that eulogies tend to only give the positive aspects of a person’s life, but Alan wasn’t perfect. He would be the first to admit that. He would confess to being sometimes impatient (although he could also be incredibly patient), and he would say he was sometimes overly opinionated (and he probably was)… And he’d admit that he had often pushed the boundaries, especially when we were young, with our parents (which I totally appreciated – he showed me how far I could go and get away with thing with mom and dad)… So – not really very much that wasn’t positive about my dear brother… He was a wonderful man…
 
Alan was a man of compassion and tenderness and understanding. Back when the Soviet Union existed and allowed Jews to emigrate to America, many were at loose-ends in their new land. Alan heeded the call for help. He adopted a family. He helped resettle them. He got them an apartment, got them furniture, bedding, clothing. I met them once.  They smiled, too. Alan had succeeded…
 
Today it’s hard to smile. I’ve lost my brother. You’ve lost a father or a neighbor or a friend. But I smile for Alan (won’t you smile with me?). He is a man who will always hold a place in our hearts. He is a man we will never forget…
 
Alan – we will remember and love you forever.
 

 
Brendan R.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to Benny. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of comfort and encouragement – many have told us that you are praying for us. All of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
Benny was, as you all know, about the best man you could ever meet. His kindness was contagious. It was virtually impossible for anyone to be around him without being a bit more kind simply because he was. He was genuine, selfless, loving. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body. And that meant something. Benny caused US to be a bit kinder and more charitable to others. He was always a truly ‘stand up’ human being. I think that must have been his special gift to the world… a genuinely sweet soul who would do anything he could to help another person.
 
And I know why he was that way. He would say, “I do what is right. I don't listen to anyone except the Lord.” Benny’s heart and mind were attuned to a higher power. How he lived his life was directed by the words of the scriptures and how Jesus lived and what Jesus taught... Benny was very involved at St Raphael's church. He loved the mass and the sacrament and the people he knew there…  Benny never had much, himself, but he was as generous as he could be to the church and to the homeless, for whom he had true compassion… Benny always tried to be morally responsible and to do what was right - always… He made his confirmation when he was in his 30’s – That’s how important his faith was to him…
 
Now, I don’t want to paint Benny as the saint of all saints. Patrick, Jacquelyn, Mary, Brian, Meredith, and I grew up with him and knew him better than anyone… He was no saint, but he WAS a truly good man… When he was in elementary school he was that kid in the class who was the prankster. He’d often tell us stories of some of the things he did, back then, to get a laugh and break up the class. Even in high school he was the guy who always brought on the hysterics, making his friends crack up at his antics. He knew exactly what to say or do to get people laughing… and, to his ears, there was no sweeter sound…
 
Benny’s most cherished memories were of his being the all-star winning pitcher with the Hamilton Little Lads (he pitched several no-hitters) and then going on to win championship games in high school. Those were great days for him…
 
Some of my favorite memories, growing up, are of playing wiffleball with Benny and the neighborhood kids… playing basketball…playing 1 on 1 tackle, while my brother, Patrick played quarterback. Benny wasn't a big guy, but he was an amazing athlete who played much bigger than his size…
 
As he got older, Benny mellowed a bit – more laid back and quiet. But he still loved being around family and friends…talking, joking, making plans, remembering…
 
These past few years really contributed to that mellowing – a couple of strokes -  heart problems – blood pressure… But he wasn’t one to ever let anyone know how he was feeling – or how weak he was…
 
Benny was a mail carrier for 7 years, or so. Then he worked as an associate at a chemical warehouse. One of the benefits of working at the warehouse was that that was where Brian worked…It was a joy to see him every day…
 
Benny loved his family. He was devastated when mom and dad passed (we all were). He loved his brothers and sisters… but he had a very special relationship with Bailey, Michala, Logan, Brielle, Madelyn, Maria, Kayleigh, and Sam, his seven nieces and his one nephew.
 
He loved all of you guys SO much. I hope that all 8 of you will always remember the kind of man your uncle was and honor him by taking those thing you saw in him and having them in your own lives – his kindness, his sense of humor, his loyalty and always wanting to do the right thing… his faith. Let your memories of him be one of the role models of your life. If you do, his life, in this world, goes on…
 
Benny’s friends were dear to him, too. He had so many… His friend, Joe, and Benny loved to go to Atlantic City and Vegas and do a bit of gambling – poker and sports betting, mostly. Dave Bistam and Benny would watch games at Parx Cassino and play poker from time to time… and so many other friends… All of you were very special in is life… thank you all for loving him like you did…
 
For half a dozen years, one of Benny’s best friends was a furry one – a big, white, fluffy dog. He found ‘John’ (a rather unusual name for a dog) on the street one day and adopted him. They really loved one another. John passed away about three years ago – most definitely one of the saddest days of Benny’s life…
 
Benny was an absolute master at almost any video game he tried. He knew the moves to make and what button to press… It was quite impressive just to watch him… And he loved music. You could ask him to name the group singing a song on the radio, and he would know it. He also had this uncanny ability to remember all the lyrics of all the songs… His favorite music was Hip Hop and Freestyle, but he loved Rock and Roll and all kinds of music. He loved all the Jackson 5 songs (oldies)…

I’m going to miss my little brother so much. Benny was the person I could reminisce with about things in the past – our lives together – our memories – mom and dad... He was the person who I could talk to about anything, without feeling embarrassed. He was a man who could listen…then maybe say something wise or something funny… but he was always there…
 
Everyone loved Benny. He taught all of us to be a bit more loving, compassionate and understanding. He was one amazing man whom we all looked up to and admired and loved…
 
Benny – You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you. We will love you forever. Thank you for being in our lives.



 
Christopher D.
           I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to Chris. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called mom and dad or me with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
           I suppose it is fairly common for younger brothers to look up to and idolize their older brothers. I know that was true for me. Chris was the guy I most admired in the world and hoped to someday be like. He was the one who went to all my football games, the one who helped me put together my science fair projects, the one who was always protective (no one messed with Chris’ kid brother…), the one who took me hunting and camping when I was a kid. How could a guy not love a big brother – a mentor and role model – like that? (I wasn’t really a fan of the noogies he regularly gave me, but that was part of the price of having a big brother in the house).
 
           Then, when we were older, I got to spend tons of time with Chris as we, together, started a window washing company and then grew “Mister Ben’s Amazing Pet Products” into the company it is today. Chris took great pride in being our “Director of Production.” And I, as we spent so much time together, felt honored to see our relationship growing closer and stronger than it had ever been. Losing Chris has been devastating… I’m not sure I can ever get over it… We were a great team….
 
           One of the things that I probably knew before, but was brought to light as we worked together, was Chris’ amazing work ethic. Most people work to live, but Chris lived to work. He LOVED being active and productive – to make things and see the solid results of his labor.
 
           Chris joined the Navy in 1980. He was part of the SeaBee construction battalion. He loved it. They would build things. They’d repair and maintain facilities. They would constantly keep busy. When he finished his service, he joined the Reserves – giving a weekend a month. He HATED that. He said that, on the weekends he reported in, they’d sit in a classroom for two days not learning anything – never getting out there building or doing physical work or constructing anything. He was very happy when that duty ended (not HOW it ended, though – he was hit by a car and pretty banged up).
 
           Hard work – that’s what Chris most enjoyed. His philosophy or work was that something wasn’t worth doing if it wasn’t done right.  So he always did what needed doing, and doing it to the very best of his ability.
 
           Chris had quite an impressive resume when it came to the variety of work he did over the course of his life. He started out working in our grandfather’s silver and pewter factory, then he was a welder in New London. He was a bus boy in a fancy restaurant in Copper Beach, a framer for several builders. He learned to engrave and etch glass at mom’s shop. He remodeled homes, he was a professional wallpaperer and painter, a deep sea fisherman, a bridge builder in Hilton Head…and then, of course, working at “Mister Ben’s.”
 
           So much talent – so capable… Charming, smart as a whip, loyal caring, generous. That was my big brother. He was the kind of guy who was good at everything. He was a great pool player and hard to beat at poker. Chris had the kind of mind that allowed him to approach things logically and with a strategy. Play Backgammon, Chess, Set Back, Rummy, Pinnacle, Cribbage, Blackjack or Canasta, with him and you would have a real challenge. And he virtually NEVER lost a game of Trivial Pursuit because of his amazing knowledge of religion and history.
 
          But Chris’ greatest love was family. Mom – Dad – you were the best. Chris had some real issues in his life but you were always there – always supportive and ready to help in any way you could. Mom, I know Chris especially respected you and tried to emulate you in every way he could. You were both rocks in his life…
 
          Julie and Michael were always in the center of Chris’ thoughts. I know he worked hard to always be supportive of Michael and supply whatever he might need… and Julie – I know he always wanted to be more involved with you. Living at a distance made that difficult… But he always loved both of you deeply. He always hoped and prayed that you would have good lives and truly be happy… I hope you will remember your dad as a man of character and goodness and that your own lives will see many of his qualities shining through… his loyalty, his work ethic, his talent, his sense of humor…  I hope you’ll remember how he tried to spoil both of you, especially on the holidays, with presents. YOU are the best thing he leaves to the world. YOU are his legacy.
 
          And, of course, Chris loved Sharon. Losing her earlier this year was devastating. The two of them did everything together and had hopes and dreams for the future. Losing her was very hard on him…
 
          One of the things I’ve always admired about Chris was how he would freely do things for people and never take credit. He just did things because it seemed the right thing to do. He didn’t need accolades. He didn’t even need a sincere ‘thank you.’ He just liked to help if he could… THAT’S character. …And he was a man who was totally loyal to family and friends… and even others. He never bad-mouthed anyone about anything, that I can recall…
 
          Chris had flaws – we all do. But I loved him. He was my big brother – my hero – my role model… Along with the issues, he had SO many wonderful qualities. It is those I shall always remember.
 
          Chris – You did the best you could throughout your life. You worked hard and you were a good man. In God’s eyes, it was all perfect.
          You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Frank J.
          I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to my little brother, Frank. So many of you have sent cards or emails or posted words of sympathy and encouragement… every one of those have been so much appreciated. Thank you.
 
          I’ve observed, over the years, that people take so many different paths through life. Some seem to sail through with ‘not-a-care-in-the-world,’ while others seem to have a difficult time navigating the difficulties life throws in their paths. Then there is Frank. He experienced both. This past ten years have been pretty rough for him in numerous ways, but if you knew him ‘before,’ you’d have seen a different man. In those years, Frank was happy and successful. He was a stud… He was a thrill seeker, an adventurer, a force of nature… The most wonderful, friendliest guy you’d ever want to meet.
 
          Frank, Greg, and I grew up in East Baltimore until Frank was about 10. We had so many adventures… One of Frank’s favorites was when we’d  manage to get down into one of the sewers and do a little exploring. It was great fun. We’d camp and hike and wrestle and fight. I’ve got to say, the three of us broke our share of bed frames from all our horsing around. I’m not sure how mom and dad put up with us – but they did, and we, somehow, survived…
 
          We spent our teen years in Warwick, RI. Frank had tons of friends and we all had some great times. Frank was popular and went to a LOT of parties (probably too many)… But that’s what teens do…
 
          Frank always had a love for cooking so, after high school he headed for the ‘Culinary School of America’ in __ [city] __. It took a few years for him to reach the pinnacle of his profession, but I remember visiting him in Reno at the newly opened Le Moulon Restaurant at the Peppermill Resort. He had become the executive chef. I went to the restaurant and introduced myself to one of the staff out front, and they took me back into the kitchen. It was HUGE, and brand new. and there was my little brother, in his chef whites, just running the place! Other chefs were lined up to speak with him. He was going from position to position tasting, looking, and advising. He had it SO under control. It was really something to see my kid brother in his element. I never forgot, after that moment, how impressive Frank could be…
 
          Frank was a great outdoorsman and back woods guy. He loved to fish and hunt and search for wild mushrooms in the deep woods. I remember going with him Channel Islands and the Farallons, off the coast of California, numerous times, to do some cold water diving in white shark country. Frank LOVED the adventure and the adrenaline rush…
 
          Frank was an outgoing, fun to be around, gregarious, sweet, kind, wonderful guy always, but you could tell sometimes that there was pain just below the surface, especially in these recent years… He had some tremendous heartbreak a couple of times, with divorces. He struggled with substance abuse. He and Heather, his beautiful daughter, have had their issues, dad passed away last fall, and mom is having some memory problems… It all weighed heavy on this big, tender-hearted man. He and dad were so very close. Losing him was devastating…
 
          But Frank was always the optimist. He was always looking forward to better times – not sure just when they’d come, but he knew they would…
 
          In these past years, Frank worked as a salesperson for a number of food service companies. He was SO close to retirement. SO close to being able to head for Maine to enjoy the next chapter to his life – his dream - moving to Maine to becoming a gentleman farmer. He wanted to raise some chickens and ducks. He wanted to garden and fish and hunt and, of course, cook great meals for anyone who came for a visit…
 
          Frank did enjoy some of those pleasures here. He and Wilson, his dog and, probably, best friend (a walking 'tornado' of love, energy, and enthusiasm), loved going camping, fishing and exploring in the back country.
 
          In human terms, I suppose Greg and I were Frank’s best friends – brothers, but also friends… . Frank was a big guy who would always hug you when you saw him. He told me he loved me all the time (that meant a lot to me). Frank was just so happy to be loved in return. He TRIED SO HARD to do right, and have friends, and be successful, and be respected.
 
I’ve been looking at old pictures in these days since Frank’s been gone, and he almost  always has his arm around me. I’m not sure I ever realized that before. I'm going to miss that.
 
Frank had so many setbacks in his life – and a fair number of wonderful successes. Through it all, he never stopped trying. He had to pick himself up and start all over again so often. I always admired him for that…
 
I’m not sure any of us realized all the internal, emotional, pain Frank was going through. Outwardly, he was always fun to be around – to talk to… He laughed easily and often. He had a big heart… But every day he faced demons the rest of us never knew about. We had no idea he was suffering as much as he was.
 
Could any of us have helped? Probably not. Only God knows. I just hope he knew how much he was loved – how important he was in so many lives… how admired and respected…
 
Frank, my brother, we loved you. You were an amazing, warm and wonderful man. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you. We will love you forever…
 

 
Glenn R.
So many people! What a wonderful tribute to Glenn - his life, his work, his friendship, and his love for everyone. Thank you all for being here, with us, as we say a final farewell. I know that many of you are here for Genevieve and the kids, for dad and mum and my brothers and me. Such support is deeply appreciated. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts…
 
Glenn was my little brother (big brother to Stephen and Bradley), but, even though he was younger, I so admired him. We were so much NOT alike. He was brave and daring, always testing the limits. I preferred to sit in the library, reading and studying. I remember, one day, a teacher at school approached me and asked if we were actually blood related – maybe one of us was adopted – because we were so different. I assured her that we really were brothers...
 
Mum and dad used to say that Glenn was the perfect baby – until he learned to walk. That’s when life changed. They ‘lost’ him, one day, in the house when he was a year and a half old. Couldn’t find him anywhere. He had managed to get outside and was jumping up and down on the roof of the pagoda in our back yard… Later on, if Glenn was missing, a good bet for finding him would be to go to the park across the street and look up, into the trees. He’d usually be up there somewhere. The taller the tree, the more he liked it…
 
Climbing may have been Glenn’s first love, but, when he turned 3, mum and dad gave him a bicycle for his birthday. He wanted nothing to do with the training wheels… and, from that day, until the day he passed, Glenn’s passion in life was bicycles and BMX racing. He loved building BMX tracks, jumps, and going to skate parks, all his life. He would sometimes show me photos and tell me how he was excited about a new skatepark that was opening somewhere in town – I, literally, have zero interest at all in that, but would always laugh and enjoy at how excited he was…
 
When Glenn was 13, he was in a BMX competition at Thornlie Skate Park. He fell off before the competition even started. Mum had to take him to hospital. After seeing the doctor, he asked if he could go back to the competition – which he did. He won a prize for the best stack of the day… THAT was my brother….
 
I misspoke. BMX was NOT the greatest passion of Glenn’s life. Genevieve was – without doubt. To see them together, you just knew that their love was the real thing. They were meant for each other. Glenn was never happier than when he was with her… And Glenn was an amazing father. Mason, little Jed… Ryder, Seth. He loved all four SO much. …and couldn’t wait to know the little one who will be arriving in May.
 
I do hope that all four of you (and the one yet to be born) will emulate a lot of what you saw in your dad or step-dad. I hope you’ll have as much joy in your lives, as much laughter and be always as happy. I hope you will be as at peace with yourselves as he was – never getting angry or wanting to punch anyone. I hope you’ll have his talent and work ethic. He was such a wonderful example. I hope each of your lives will reflect what you saw in him…
 
My own kids, Emily, Chelsea, and Chase will certainly miss their uncle. He was a wonderful uncle. I hope that all Glenn’s nieces and nephews will always remember him and the man he was…
 
Glenn was a man who could never sit still. His mind was always trying to think of new things to do with the kids or where to take them. He loved taking them bike riding, of course, but also to the beach or an arcade or “Adventure World.” Life was about having fun and, if he could do it with Genevieve and the kids, he knew life was good…
 
Glenn had reached a time in his life where he had gotten his life together – a house, a family, a good career. He would often tell me how happy he was with how his life was going. He was content… He had plans and dreams for the future, though. He had planned to get a big property in the hills – even building his own dirt track for him and the kids to ride their bikes… and, I know it would have happened…
 
Glenn loved to make people happy if there was any way he could. He was the kind of guy who, if he saw someone upset or sad, he would put on that big smile of his and try his best to make you laugh… He, himself, never took life too seriously, so he was always happy, it seemed… so, if you were NOT happy, you couldn’t help but brighten up a bit with him simply being around. …I wonder what he’d be doing today, seeing tears and people feeling sad at his leaving us – probably he’d have his typical smile on and try to cheer us up…
 
Mum and dad – Glenn adored you guys. I know he’d video call mum and dad almost every evening so they could see Jed. I understand that those calls were typically while they were eating dinner… It didn’t matter. Seeing Glenn and one of the most special people in his and their lives was worth eating their meal cold… Love overcomes all of those kinds of things.
 
Glenn’s family, my parents and I, would often go out for lunch and a beer on weekends. It was always great to catch up with him and the family and something I always looked forward to… and I know that Glenn, when mum and dad weren’t with him,  would often send dad pictures of burgers he was about to devour. Glenn DID love to eat!
 
Glenn’s family and ours went on a holiday this past Christmas. We went to Eagle Bay and I am so glad we had that opportunity to spend time together. He was already starting to send me links to where we might go next…
 
We’ll miss Glenn’s ability to fix things. He was the family ‘Mr. Fixit.’ He had a mind that allowed him to know how things work and what might be wrong with something – and how to make the repair!
 
That’s what made him so good at his work and a valuable person at Howard Porter and then Bruce Rock Engineering. Glenn was an excellent tradesman, highly thought of by his peers. He paid close attention to detail, he was always good with his hands and was never afraid of hard work… Glenn loved his work and was proud of his abilities…
 
          We’re all going to miss Glenn so much…  He was a man to admire – honest, hard working, dedicated to his family, a great father, a wonderful son, brother and uncle.
 
          Glenn - - You have meant so much to so many of us. Your life was way too short and we are hurting at having to say ‘good-bye.’ You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
James O.
          Thank you all for being here to join us in saying a final farewell to my big brother, Jim. He had some issue – he suffered tremendous pain – he didn’t always make the right choices – but he was, in the depths of his being, a sensitive, loving, good man, and we all truly loved him…
 
          A couple of stories about Jim that so truly show the mischievous and irreverent side of him:
 
          The first one is one Jim told about when he was a kid: It seems that there was another boy who bullied him – he even remembered the boy’s name: Rick Homan. Rick always stole Jim’s candy at school. So one day, Jim carefully unwrapped a chocolate bar and replaced the chocolate with ex-lax. He carefully re-wrapped it and waited for Rick… Rick NEVER stole Jim’s candy again…
 
          Another: When Jim was in high school – Spalding Catholic – Jim tried hard to get the principal to approve “Stairway to Heaven” as the prom theme – arguing that it was about heaven – a very religious place… The principal didn’t buy it… but it was worth a try.
 
          . I actually think there are some intriguing elements of the song. ‘Stairway to Heaven,’ that make me think of Jim. Stairway to Heaven could be an allegory for one’s journey through life, and the search for meaning and understanding through it all. It could be about all the challenges you face along the way… While there is darkness in the song, it does come around to finding a peaceful balance within life once again. That was always my wish for Jim…
 
          Jim love music. He, literally, had thousands of albums – The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the Stones, Meatloaf – he loved them all. I remember, when Jim and Kate got married. I was still in high school and taking voice lessons. To get me involved, he asked me to sing ‘Ave Maria.’ I’m pretty sure I was terrible, but Jim wanted me to be involved in some major way – perhaps ‘quality’ of music wasn’t always priority. Jim loved us all, and wanted to let us know how important we were to him…
 
          Jim was always a free-spirit. I’m pretty sure that the best days of his life were those where he was up in Alaska with his son, _____. There was something about being a commercial fisherman, living mostly ‘off the grid,’ and not being confined to a time or place that was very appealing to him. Jim loved being outdoors. He loved the casual lifestyle and all the friends he made up there… I wish that could have continued on for years…
 
          Jim knew just about everything there is to know about World War II. He loved to read and, over the years, devoured everything he could get his hands on concerning the big war. He loved reading of its history, the battles, the generals and their strategies – even the politics that went into it…
 
          His passion for history extended to the family, too. He loved to learn about long-gone relatives and their stories. He wanted to keep the dead and their time at the top of his mind… He knew that history – where we’ve come from – impacts us more than we can imagine…
 
          Jim suffered a lot of losses in his life – more than most of us could bear. He lost Jimmy. He lost Kate. He lost his health. He lived in tremendous pain every day.
 
I look back at his life and see a marked change in Jim at about the time he turned 40. When he was young, Jim was brash, bold, outgoing, super-extroverted – fun to be around. But his losses and his pian took their toll and changed him (how do you get over losing a son and having radical hip surgery?). I think that outlandish behavior in his younger years, was a cover for a man who, inside, had a tender heart and loved and felt deeply…
 
          I know he loved his family. Orie, he couldn’t have lived the quality of life he did without you around. You helped him SO much and I know he appreciated it. I know it wasn’t easy to keep your dad’s spirits up, but you did a wonderful job of it… Thank you. He loved you so much…
 
          And Jim adored his twin sister, Jan. Jim cherished the bond they had, even though they were so different from one another. Jan was with Jim all the way to the end, caring for him in wonderful ways. Jan, thank you. You were truly a blessing to our brother…
 
          …And, of course, Jim’s dogs were important in his life. Lucy and Max were Jim’s constant companions – not trained ‘therapy dogs’ but every bit as therapeutic to Jim as any trained dogs might be. I’m pretty sure they will miss him immensely.
 
          I mentioned earlier that Jim made some bad decisions along the way. He did – and it wasn’t easy to see that, for any of us. He was often loud and sometimes brash, but even in the midst of all that, he loved his family and his friends fiercely… and we loved him, even through the dark periods of his life.
 
          Jim – You were such a character – unforgettable, really. And we won’t forget you. You will always hold a place in our memories and in our hearts. …and we will love you forever.
 

 
Jesse G.
          I’d like to begin by thanking every one of you for being here today as we say a final farewell to my brother, Bubu. So many of you have reached out in this difficult time. Your words of sympathy and encouragement have been a great comfort to all of us. Thank you…
 
          Bubu loved all of you, his friends and family. Joe Vega, Booyaa, Dustin, Jake, Fatboy, Omar, Chris, long time friends Anthony and Royce and Freddie - and so many more. Chantel, mom, dad and I always knew Bubu was loved by so many. Thank you all for enriching Bubu’s life as you did.
 
          Of course, Bubu made it easy. He was probably one of the most outgoing people I’ve ever met. He had a ‘loud’ personality and was always ready for a good time. We’re all going to miss him immensely… It’s hard to believe he is gone.
 
          So many memories… I remember one time when dad took us to Lake Havasu in Arizona. We rented a paddle boat. It was amazing to be out there with Bubu and Chantel and her friend, Heather, on that beautiful sparkling fresh water…. The sun shining down and us, without a care in the world…
 
          For several summers in a row, our family went to Pismo Beach. It started as just a family thing, but kept growing each year until it seemed and entire village went with us, visiting the dunes, swimming, having a wonderful time… Bubu was always one of the instigators of the good times… He was my big brother and I was always thrilled when he’d invite me to tag along with him and his friends for whatever it was they were doing…
 
          Bubu’s first job was working for dad at his shop, Mulgrew Aircraft, in Monrovia. He worked the night shift. At the time, I was looking into law enforcement and had become a ‘police explorer,’ doing ride-alongs in patrol cars. It was late at night and we saw Bubu’s truck go flying through an intersection. I recognized it immediately but, before I could say anything, the patrolman flipped on his flashers and siren and off we went after that young guy in the truck. Bubu pulled over, of course, and as soon as he did, I popped my head out of the passenger side window and just laughed. The look on Bubu’s face was priceless. I smile every time I think of that – and I loved to remind Bubu of it as often as I could…
 
          Bubu’s passion was in auto mechanics. He was amazing at it. I could call him on the phone and tell him my car was making this strange noise – I’d describe it to him as best I could – and he’d almost always be able to diagnose the problem right there over the phone. Bubu’d say, “come on down. We got you.” And I knew he did – every time.
 
          I believe it was back in 2013 when Bubu started working at Redline, a shop that specializes in high performance cars. Redline became Bubu’s whole life. . He was on his phone 24/7, talking about parts , estimates …walking people through fixing something. Bubu was the type of person who would stay open late for someone or open up early. He would easily drop whatever he was doing, whether it be eating dinner with dad or taking a nap with his cats, and go help anyone whose car had broken down. I’m pretty sure many of you had that exact same experience. He was ALWAYS ready to help. He had an amazing work ethic and, that, mixed with a wonderfully kind heart, was truly a blessing to a lot of people.
 
          He was so much into Redline that he was the vice president of the Redline Truck Club, along with his buddies, Eddie and Jason. NOTHING in life was better for Bubu than being under the hood of a car…
 
          Although… Partying was pretty close. Bubu loved going out to eat and drink. Ola, a bar in Covina, was one of his favorite watering holes. He had the unique ability to party late into the night and yet get up in the morning and head for work, like nothing had happened.
 
He loved any type of desmadre. And he loved anything that had to do with off-roading and being with friends.
 
Bubu was about the best brother a guy could have. I remember, so clearly, spending some time with him a few days before I headed for boot camp. We were driving around Covina, looking for rice cakes. We were sitting in the parking lot of Stater Brothers, and I was telling him how nervous I was – how I was scared of failing. Bubu calmly put down his phone (and you all know how rare that was) and told me that life was about to get real, but that I’d do well. And, for some reason, those few words, coming out of my big brother’s mouth, calmed me like nothing else could, and made me know it would all turn out alright.
 
And every time Bubu was at a restaurant, he’d send me a picture on Snap-Chat – usually of a glass of water and a lemon wedge – with the world-famous caption, ‘The Water’s Good Here.’ (If some of you, Bubu’s friends, would like to continue to do that – send me a Snap-Chat photo – from time to time, it would make my heart happy and I’ll always think of my brother).
 
Bubu was a cat person. Many cats over the years, but, most recently ‘GG,’ ‘Guero,’ and ‘Manbo.’ …and any stray cat that might have crossed his path… He couldn’t resist a cat brushing up against his leg or hearing that gentle purr…
 
We haven’t lived in the same house for a number of years now, but dad tells me that every morning started with Bubu asking Alexa to play some jazz. I’m sure it was because, when we were growing up, dad always played 94.7 – the ‘Waaaave.’ We both learned to love Jazz.
 
Bubu liked all kinds of music, but I discovered that country may not have been one of his absolute favorites… A few days before he passed, we went to see Luke Bryan and I caught him napping mid-way through the concert.
 
          Loving, kind, caring, over-the-top… Bubu was a wonderful brother and I can never express how much I loved and appreciated him.
 
          Bubu – thank you for all you were to so many of us. Thank you for sharing your life and your passions and your kindness (and thank you for forgiving me for scratching your truck back in 2013ish). You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
Mark C.
[ Mike asked me to stand in for him today. He said the losing Mark has been so emotional for him that he knew that talking about him up here would be totally impossible. I totally understand. The two of them were as close as brothers get… So I read his tribute to Mark… Here is what he says:
 
          I look out at all of you gathered here this morning and know that every one of you has a story about my brother, Mark – something he said or did – some act of kindness or word of encouragement – time he spent with you when you knew he was a busy man and had other things he needed to do… So I am honored to talk about one of the best men I’ve ever known… Mark – an amazing father – a loving husband – a loyal friend – the best brother a man could have…
 
          When we were kids, Mark had a few quirks. One of the most notable ones was the fact that he loved thunderstorms. When he saw the sky getting dark, he was thrilled. He wanted to be out in it. “Hey, Mike,” he’d say, “let’s go play basketball!” We did. We played until the rain came pelting down. I think he’d have kept playing, but I always ran for the house…. A few times, when bad weather was heading our way, we’d go swimming in the pool in our back yard. Rain didn’t bother me when we were in the water… the thunder and lighting were pretty cool, really. Mom and dad put a stop to that kind of thing pretty quickly, though…
 
          When Mark was in the hospital, we’d often talk about the ‘old days.’ One day he  made a solemn confession. He told about that time dad was upset because someone had been hitting a tennis ball against the garage, leaving dozens of ball marks. He told me that HE did that and let _[sister’s name]_ take the blame because she was the tennis player in the family… I had to laugh – all these years later…
 
          But even with pointing the finger at our sister, unjustly, as an adolescent, Mark turned out to be a man of immense character. He had his priorities in life straight. Mark was a great business man, but never thought the almighty dollar was the end-all. He spent many hours making his clients feel special, even if there was no hope of bringing in an extra dollar. He had a tendency to do that, especially, for the elderly. It made him feel good to make THEM feel good. Maya Angelou said it best. She said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Mark made people feel important, listened to, loved… Mark was a man who thoroughly loved his work and all the people he met along the way. And they loved him. He made them feel good...
 
          One of the things he loved to do was to tell people about Jesus. He was never pushy. He just freely let people know the joy he found in following Christ. He was always that way. Even back when he was a teenager, he was involved in a puppet ministry at church (they got such good reviews that they had a Sunday morning slot on channel 3 and travelled to churches in neighboring towns). I know that Mark’s greatest desire in life was that his kids know and love the Lord… He gave them a wonderful example of what being a Christian looks like… And, it’s my hope, for them, that they all inherit some of their dad’s best qualities – his love for life, his caring for others, his wonderful smile, his ambition – tempered with priorities, his love for family… Alexa, Alisha, Makenna…Christyna – you four are your fathers legacy to the world. In you, your dad lives on… He loved each of you so very much…
 
          My brother, Mark, was an amazing man and I am going to miss him dearly – especially at family events, where he was such a presence. I’m going to miss him in those times when I just want to pick up the phone and talk. I’m going to miss his sense of humor, his smile, his devotion to Christ, his obvious love for his family. I’m going to miss just about everything about Mark – he was my brother – sometimes my inspiration – always my friend.
 
Mark – like so many of us, you have meant so much. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget all you were in our lives… and we will love you forever.
 
 
EULOGIES FOR A SON
 
Alan S.
One of the smartest men of all time, a Jewish man, of course, Albert Einstein, said, “Strive not to succeed, but rather to be of value.” Then he spoke words that must, certainly, be about Alan – as though he knew him personally... He said, “I believe in one thing—that only a life lived for others is a life worth living.” So – Did Alan live a life worth living? In spades! His life was TOTALLY lived for others…
 
Alan was not an observant man, but he was very religious inside, where it counts. He understood the teaching of our religion. He understood what the prophet meant when he said:
 
          Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom
          Let not the rich man glory in his riches
          Let not the mighty man glory in his might
          But let him who glories, glory in this:
                              That I am the Lord who practices kindness and righteousness and justice in the earth
                    And in these things I delight, says the Lord
 
Alan spent his life practicing kindness and righteousness.
Rav Yehudah HaNassi said this: yesh koneh olamo besha’ah acat –“people can acquire their share in the world to come in one moment.”  Alan had many such moments.
 
Perhaps we can understand it best in the context of the defining moment in Alan’s life. It was an injury he sustained when he was a catcher on the baseball team at summer camp.
 
A foul tip struck him under his shin guard. He actually levitated from a crouch in pain.  The ball hit his ankle, chipping a bone in his ankle that went undiagnosed for years. He never recovered from that injury. The ankle continued to deteriorate little by little and never got better. But he always persevered. He never gave into the pain. He even joined the high school track team and became a champion discus thrower and shot putter, even though it aggravated his ankle. He was also a gifted golfer and the best putter on the championship Columbia High School golf team.
 
Even though he had one of the first arthroscopic surgeries on an ankle in 1987, it continued to deteriorate. Alan’s lot was to live a life in pain; unremitting pain, constant pain, severe, intractable pain that progressed to periods of agony. He struggled with his pain not for an hour at a time, a day, a week, a month, or a year, it was the struggle a lifetime -- of over 60 years. A lesser person would have succumbed to it sooner.  But  he was always hopeful and optimistic. He tried not to let others see how much pain he endured and only complained when it became too unbearable, and even then, only briefly. He told me once he wanted to live just one day without pain. Unfortunately, he never got his wish.
 
Even toward the end, Alan had a great will to live. He fought back again and again from the ravages of that ankle injury, from disease and pain that would have destroyed many with a lesser spirit. He always persevered.
 
Alan was a good son
Alan also understood the Fifth Commandment; “you shall revere your mother and father.” It is supposed to be the most difficult commandment because the concept of reverence has no bounds and is not always definable. Alan knew how to follow this commandment.
He knew that you revere your parents when you make them proud and create a legacy to carry on their good name.
 
Alan was inspired by our father to join him in helping the mentally ill.
 
          Our Dad conceived the idea for a psychiatric day hospital treatment program in the early 1960’s around the same time he coined the term “community psychiatry”.  It became a model that has been replicated across the county. First, he operated a small day hospital, the Community Psychiatric Institute, as an adjunct to his practice. Then he partnered with Alan in 1971. Alan was the one who built up that program. He began under my father’s tutelage, working with individuals and groups doing therapy. Then he administered and expanded the program. It was hard work, but Alan was never discouraged. He always believed that if one day was a disappointment, he would win the next. That was his faith when he went to work every day helping people ignored and mistreated by our society, treating some of the untreatable, hoping for micro victories in the battle against mental illness.
 
Alan knew how to build and how to lead an organization. He did it for 50 years. Think of that for a moment; 50 years at one job; helping to teach the helpless! What a soul he had!  How many of us could do the kind of work Alan did for a half hour, let alone a day, a week, a year, a decade. Alan did it for a lifetime! What amazing, self-sacrificing work he did! I remember some of those days of hard work that Alan put in. Alan did everything he could for CPI. He would do anything to help the program and to help others. He even purchased a snow plow and plowed the driveway himself, in the beginning, so the staff and patients could be safe when coming in and out of the building.
 
The Community Psychiatric Institute is now the premier facility in New Jersey because of the way it pioneered the model – the one Alan developed and implemented -- for a psychiatric day hospital. It has been replicated across the country. Years from now when our families teach their children what is meant by giving and helping others and building, the story of Alan will come to mind. Alan’s positive impact on mental health has helped countless thousands all over America!
 
I would stop into his office from time to time. On those visits, I would meet some of the same patients year after year. I asked him one day, when he looked especially tired, what he really did to help his patients, many of whom would clearly never improve and would require treatment for their entire lives. He told me: I help them smile, that’s how I heal them. THAT was Alan’s secret of healing the broken among us. He knew that each time he sent forth a tiny ripple of love or hope that it would crisscross millions of different centers energy and caring which together those ripples build a current that can sweep down mightiest walls of fear, pain and despair.
 
It wasn’t easy. One day I saw what he meant. I was at CPI visiting Alan and there was a young man  who Alan was teaching how to live independently and shop on his own. He had a big bag of mustard. I asked Alan, ‘why so much mustard?’ He told me that he only purchased mustard at the grocery store.  The next time I visited, the same young man was returning from the Shop Rite with Alan. He was smiling broadly. I saw his shopping bag. He had purchased mustard and ketchup.  That was a moment.
 
Every year I attended the holiday celebration that Alan started where the staff would serve the patients a meal and provide some holiday spirit to many who lived alone and without any family or friends. Every year, the same elderly women would take Alan aside and speak about a particular problem she was having, over and over again.
The first year; Alan listened patiently.
The second year, Alan listened patiently again.
The third year, Alan listened, patiently and uncomplainingly, again.
At the end of every retelling she said, “Alan is my friend.” Then she would smile. And that was a moment. I knew Alan was healing her.
 
I wish my father was here to see how his life’s work was so well carried on so successfully by Alan.
I wish my mother was here to see how she grew a son who cared for others even at the expense of his own health and self at times.
I wish Danny was here to see how many people loved his father.
I hope Jill can take some solace in her dear father’s monumental accomplishments that will continue for generations to come.
 
Alan’s contributions were not limited to his work, of course. Great men are always more than their work.
Alan always had time to devote to others. When Jews in the Soviet Union were allowed to emigrate to America, many were bereft in the new country.  Alan heeded the call for help.
He adopted one family… He helped to resettle them. He got them an apartment, got them furniture, bedding, clothes to wear. Not only that, he helped to acculturate them into a foreign society by __________________.
r  I met them once.  They smiled, too.  That was a moment.
 
Alan was also a good nephew. He took special care for many years of our elderly Uncle Irving who lived alone. He made sure to include him in all family events, take him out to eat and made sure that he enjoyed activities outside his home, took him on vacations, always made sure he felt welcome in his declining days rather than a burden to others.
 
I know that eulogies tend to only give the positive aspects of a person’s life, and I know that Alan had his foibles to be sure just like anyone else. He was always the first to admit that. …He had an indulgent side. life. I do not want to idealize Alan or enlarge him in death beyond what he was in life. None of us, Alan included, would want to be held to account for every moment of our lives, especially on this day. But how many of us could say that our best moments of every day were as magnificent as his? All of us can only wish that we had as many moments of exultation as Alan: as many days of joy from Daniel and Jill; as many years of companionship and love with Lynn and Ruthann.
 
Alan had his flaws, for sure. He would confess to being sometimes impatient (although he could also be incredibly patient), and he would say he was sometimes overly opinionated (and he probably was, a trait he inherited from our mother)… He was always testing boundaries, exploring the limits (which was excellent when I was growing up, because then I knew exactly where they were and I made sure I didn’t approach them). Alan always did what he wanted to do; in that way, he was able to do what few can ever achieve.  He remained true to himself to the very end.
 
          The Talmud teaches that: "One who takes a life, it is as though they have destroyed the universe. And one who saves a life, it is as though they have saved the universe." (Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5).
 
          Alan saved the universe many times over…
 
 I depended on Alan greatly for many years. When growing up he was always my protector and our sister Cathy’s guardian. He always tried to take care of me, especially when we were young and he allowed me to follow him around in his circle of many friends. Later, we spoke every day. I relied on him more than he ever knew.
 
Alan was lucky in love.
But who was healing Alan? In the early years, he was lucky to have met Lynn, who he loved very much. The high points in their lives together were the births of Danny and Jill. I remember going with him to shop for some food after Jill came home from the hospital. He said, “I am floating on happiness!” He always floated on happiness whenever he spoke of Jill and whenever she was around. Always.
 
Alan took great pride in his family. He measured his true success in hugs and kisses from those he loved, always taking great care to ensure his family knew how much he loved them in return.
 
In the later years, Alan was lucky to have Ruthann by his side.
 
They enjoyed traveling together, all over America and Europe, even though he found it difficult and often painful. Towards the final months, after he was dropped by an ambulance crew and his injuries flared up worse, I watched how she cared for him in his long decline.
 
Some might equal, but none could ever exceed Ruthann’s devotion to him.
 
She never fatigued although I know she must have often been exhausted); never gave up, never gave in.  Not for a moment. She was always cheerful, with affection and caring. Alan loved her SO much. And she loved Alan. She showed it every day. True love is a glorious sight and I was fortunate to witness it every time they were together. I know she will miss him immensely.
His love is a legacy for Ruthann, and it gave her more than moments of smiles. It gave her joy and satisfaction and hopefully inner peace.
 
Legacy
Beyond the incredible work legacy Alan leaves, he leaves an even greater one. He inspired his daughter, Jill, to follow in his footsteps. He was very proud of Jill and Sid, Taj and Nyla. I hope that Jill can take some solace in her father’s monumental accomplishments and great pride in continuing her grandfather’s work and her father’s work - - helping people to smile. You can be very proud of your father, Jill, and be secure in the knowledge that he always loved you very much.
                              The last months
The past months were more than mere dying for Alan. He got something far more meaningful. He got a lot of love from his family and friends. Love for what he had been, love for what he made us feel, love for the humanity and sweetness that was always there mixed in the flaws and all the pain that racked his body and his soul.
 
In these past months, Alan was surrounded by his good friends, Teddy and __, Freddy and ___, Alan Janoff and Debbie; Mike Falk and Joanne, George who he worked with for 35 years. All his life, Alan loved the company of good friends and family; he loved listening to good music, and he enjoyed eating good food.
 
He had a special bond with his friend Isaac. Whenever they were together, I saw Isaac smile. Those too, were moments.
 
 Let us all hope that in our last moments we are loved as much as Alan was loved.
 
He also made me smile all the time, many, many moments.                                                                                                                                                                                                           One thing I always liked about Alan was his incomparable will to fight and to live. I am sad that I will no longer get to hear his voice, cringe at his comical insults, laugh at the way he knew how to make fun of me without hurting me.
 
Today it’s hard to smile. I’ve lost my brother. Jill her father, Ruthann her beloved; others a neighbor or a friend. But I smile for Alan (won’t you smile with me?)
 
I just hope God has a place for him where he can walk and run again, throw the discus and shot put again, play golf again, tease again, be pain free for more than one day, be happy again. A place where he can play his practical jokes, enjoy his music, smile that boyish smile, because God knows, no one's perfect. And God knows there's something special about those who dedicate their lives to helping others smile. I’m sure that makes God smile.
 
Conclusion
As we take him out, as we stand up for one last glorious, shining, moment and wish Alan goodbye silently tell him what he always yearned to hear;
that you respected him,
that his efforts are appreciated,
that you loved him very much and
that you will miss him always
 
So, Alan, they are waiting for you:
Who?
All those you helped to smile
All those you helped to heal.
All those who were and will benefit from your legacy
 
They will receive you as a friend
They will greet you as a brother
They will bless you
For what you have done for them
And for us.
 
          What was Alan’s greatest achievement? He left the world a little better off than he found it (the greatest achievement of all); and he did it with love, love for so many - for Lynn and Ruthann, for Danny and Jill, for his mother and father, for me and Cathy, for his many friends too numerous to mention; and, of course, his patients.
 
          “I believe in one thing,” said Einstein, “that only a life lived for others is a life worth living.” [repeat partial quote]… only a life lived for others is a life worth living. Rest in peace my dear brother. We will forever miss you.
 

 
EULOGIES FOR A GRANDPARENT
 
Ester Y.
          I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a remember and celebrate the life of  my beautiful grandmother. I am Shaona Ourian and have the honor of being her first grandchild.
          I’ve never known a day in my life when I didn’t know grandma and I have never experienced a day when I didn’t know I was loved. Talking about her today is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. My sadness is deep and my emotions are still tender.
          Grandmother’s ‘back story’ is, really, quite fascinating. Back in the 30’s my great grandfather was in the textile business and he and his partners main business was to import silk to Iran. They frequently had to make international trips in search of the silk they needed.
          They found themselves in Vienna, at the time, the ‘Mecca of silk.”
          On their first night there, he and his partner got tickets for the opera. Great grandfather fell in love with the prima donna of the show and, afterwards went to meet her and get acquainted. He only spoke Farsi and she only spoke German, but somehow they were attracted to one another and spent the evening talking (as well as they could), laughing, and just enjoying one another’s company.
Over the course of the next few weeks, great grandfather would fall in love with his dear Hannah and convince her and her mother to move to Iran with him... That decision saved their lives, because the Nazis marched into Vienna shortly after and killed all of my great grandmother’s family. I was in Iran that grandma was born.
We always believed that the five sisters and Benny were special, blessed by light, and lucky by the very nature of how they ended up being born in Iran.
          Next to my own mother, there isn’t anyone I’ve ever known who was more special than my grandmother Ester… She lit up every room she walked into with her contagious smile and laughter. It didn’t take much to make her happy: a kiss, a visit, a phone call, a birthday card. Grandma always had a smile on her face.
          Grandma’s heart and generosity knew no bounds. She was there for everyone in their time of need. Any time someone in the family needed something, she would round up the family to gain support and then make a plan to help.
          One of the memories I vividly recall is when my aunt was sick many years ago. Every day for three months, grandma would wake up at 6 AM to cook for a couple of hours and then take three different buses and walk several blocks uphill to take her home-made Persian food.
          But it wasn’t just family. She was that self-sacrificing with everyone. Mom and I lived with my grandparents for a while during some construction that was going on at our house. I got to see, first hand, all kinds of things she did for people, like raise money from family members to give to her hairdresser’s daughter for a knee surgery, or bring the doormen in her condo dinner. She did this routinely and quietly. She didn’t feel the need to be acknowledged or noticed. It’s just what she did!
          Growing up, when my parents were away on vacation or out with friends, they’d leave me with my grandparents. I LOVED those times. I was the center of their world and they included me in everything they did – even adult things, like playing cards with their friends… In fact, it was grandma who taught me to play backgammon.
          As I grew up I actually started thinking of grandma as my second mother. In fact, I called mom by her name, ‘Lida’ and I called grandma, Maman Ester. It was like mom and I were sisters (because mom was quite young when she had me so there isn’t a huge age difference) and grandma was our mother. We’d go shopping, we’d get our hair done, we’d visit friends and go to the market. When I turned 16 and got my driver’s license, I picked grandma up and took her to Elat market – a place she was always trying to hitch rides to with various friends… 
          When I graduated from college, grandma was right there, cheering me on. When I received a creative writing award, she was so excited that she told anyone and everyone “Sharona Doston minivese barahmin jayeze bozorg bord”. Which means, for those of you who don’t speak Farsi, Sharona writes stories so she won a big award. The award was $1,000 but to her, any accomplishment of mine was the biggest thing in the world.
          Grandma was there to see me graduate from law school. She was there, along with my mom, to see me start my business and experience all the excitement of its growth. In fact, one of my proudest moments was when I surprised my grandparents and bought them a Mercedes after winning my first big contracts.
More important than anything, grandma saw my brother and me get married to wonderful partners and she was there when we had kids. Maman Ester developed a wonderful bond with my three kids and Shawn’s two kids, and it made her so proud to be a great grandma.
My mother, Maman Ester’s only daughter, passed away in 2009. Mom’s death profoundly changed Maman Ester. My mother was her light and that light had gone out. Yes, grandma was growing older, but losing mom made her lose that happy-go-lucky personality she had all her life.
I will never forget the sight at my mom’s funeral and the grief my grandma endured that day. After they finished putting the dirt on mom’s casket, my grandma threw herself on the grave. She held on to the ground with tears rushing down her cheeks, insisting on going wherever her daughter was going and refusing to leave. It wasn’t just drama. It was raw, unvarnished, grief… That memory often haunts me and awakens me in the middle of the night and overwhelms me with sadness. From that moment on, I did everything in my power to keep Maman Ester and my grandpa involved in my life and everything we did as a family, so that they would never feel alone.
For a long time, after mom died, Maman Ester and my grandpa would come to my office daily and we would have lunch together and they would spend most of the day just sitting on the couch in my office, even though there wasn’t much for them to do. They came so often that they made good friends with the valet guys. Sometimes Maman Ester would cook lunch and bring it to my office -  not just for me, but for my staff and the valet guys, too. On the days they didn’t show up, the valet guys would ask ‘where is Grandma Ester and Grandpa Aziz.’
She was there for my pregnancies making sure I was eating well, resting and comfortable from start to end and she came to the delivery room when I gave birth. I involved her in things like party planning for my baby showers and any other event. The point was to keep them busy and I tried my hardest so that she would be distracted.
When my children were born, Maman Ester was always there, sharing her playfulness and care. Since they never met my mom, my grandma Ester fulfilled the role of grandma for them. She taught them how to play cards, like she taught me, and tried her hardest to teach them Farsi. On their birthdays she would spend weeks beforehand going shopping with my grandpa to buy them gifts and shower them with love. The kids were always excited to see them because they always came home with their hands full of bags with toys.
In 2019 Maman Ester had a series of falls that put her into the hospital and then to rehabs. During her rehab stays, she was in the facility near my house and she would call me almost 10 times a day to come and stay with her. When I would go, sometimes I would take my laptop and lay next to her in the bed and she was happy to just have me next to her.
During the pandemic, I was so worried about her – all alone and beginning to be a bit confused. About that time, grandpa took a fall and we decided to move him in with her. For a wonderful year they lived in the same room, having  full time caregivers. Diana, Hamideh, Saba, and Minoo Jaan. Thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart for the loving care you gave my grandmother over the last few years. Your support and kindness made the final years of her life more fulfilling and easy and she loved every one of you, as she would always tell you.
          I discovered a poem, by David Harkins that I think totally fits my grandmother. It says:
You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back or open your eyes and see all she has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her, or you can be full of the love she shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back or you can do what she’d want you to.
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
 
Maman Ester – you were so dear to us all. Your kindness and gentle spirit – your smile and care for us will always live in our hearts. We will never forget you. We will love you forever.
 

 
Ethel R.
I look out at all of you this morning and I like to think I’m looking through grandma’s eyes. She would have been SO happy to see us all here, together. She wouldn’t have been so pleased that it is all about her – her humility wouldn’t have allowed for that – but having so many family and friends together would give her tremendous joy. If she were to make a speech, I think she’d tell us all how proud she is of her family who rallied together and took such good care of her in her declining years – how they set an example for their own children as to how to take care of aging parents in wonderful, caring, loving ways.
 
She’d look out and see the five children she raised and beam with pride. She raised a family who love one another – no doubt the greatest achievement of any parent…  She’d see most of her 17 grandkids and know that she must have done well (she’d see me, her favorite, and smile – actually,  I was the one who always told her I was her favorite. She’d deny it and say she loved us all the same. After years of refusing to admit the truth, she finally told me straight out that I was NOT the one she loved the most but that I was certainly the most persistent in claiming it). She’d see her 31 great grandchildren and know she was leaving a tremendous heritage to the world… and the three great great grandkids (to be 6 by the end of the year)! She would have been overwhelmed with the knowledge of God’s blessing to her…
 
And why not? Grandma was a pretty close friend of God. She used to tell stories of her and her parents and brothers and sisters walking together down Fancher Street every Sunday morning to Sacred Heart. They’d all sit in the same pew. They’d sing the hymns and say the prayers and solemnly receive the sacrament. They’d listen to the sermon and enjoy the choir and, afterwards, chat with life-long friends…
 
One of the things that grandma is most noted for, in the family, is her faith. One of the Proverbs says, “A woman of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband and family have full confidence in her and lack nothing of value.” That was her. Grandma was a woman of sterling character and cared for her family in wonderful ways all her life… After the service today, we’ll be taking her up Fancher Road one last time – a journey she made so many times to practice her faith… I remember visiting grandma and grandpa, when they were in their seventies, I walked that road with them and sitting in the ‘family’ pew and could feel the heritage of faith and love emanating from the place.
 
I think I could do an entire seminar series on Grandma. Day one would be all about her faith – how important it was to her and how her deepest desire in life would be that all of us would know Christ in the way she did (oh – by the way – her faith reached beyond faith and trust in God. She also had an undying loyalty to the Detroit Tigers – a faith that, some years, was tested to the limit). Day two of my seminar would be on Forgiveness. Forgiveness was grandma’s super power. She had the ability to forgive any slight or wrong or hurt, seemingly effortlessly and endlessly. Her perspective was always that you deserve a second chance and a third and fourth and a fifth… The third day would be on Humility. Grandma was a woman who never showed pride. She was the very definition of humility…
 
Here is an example of grandma’s humility. Before she and grandpa got married, they were busy painting their apartment and it came time to head out to get a fitting for her wedding dress. She sent her sister, Mary, to be fitted. They were pretty much the same size. It would do. No sense in letting pride get in the way of paining the apartment… She never even tried it on until the day of the wedding… She was married to grandpa for 59 years (she was a bit put off that he couldn’t have lasted another few months so they would have had 60 years in)… She took such wonderful care of him. He was on oxygen for the last 20 and she did whatever was necessary to make him happy and keep him healthy…
 
Grandma was a natural care giver. She was born to be a nurse. But kids started being born every couple of years for the first decade of so of their marriage, so she couldn’t. But when Steve, her oldest, left home for the Navy, it was her time. She became a nurse. She worked in the Emergency Room, mostly, for her 15 year career. And I know she must surely have been an amazing nurse – caring for others was just who she was at heart…
 
Grandma always had such a great attitude about everything. Very positive. She found pleasure in simple things – a game of cards, taking walks every evening with her dear friend, Audry Wood, watching a football game or baseball on TV…lunching with women friends after church on Sundays – playing Bingo… Grandma was the consummate optimist. She believed God was in charge of it all and that, ultimately all things work for the good…
 
Grandma was pretty wise, too, in simple matters. She always kept her house immaculately clean and tidy. Someone once asked her how she kept it so clean. She replied, “I don’t let it get messy.”
 
And, I suppose, that’s a pretty good way to live our lives – we shouldn’t let them ‘get messy.” She had such a profound impact on my life. I have no doubt that I will live my life remembering her example – forever trying to achieve her greatness and happiness… Striving to be as forgiving, as faithful, and as humble as this dear woman…
 

 
LaVerne D.
It is one of the greatest honors of my life to be standing here talking about my grandmother. These past eight years, watching her memories fade and her personality change, have not been easy ones in many ways, but I am reminded that she had eight decades before the Alzheimer’s. We can’t forget the ending years, but today we remember who she was before…
 
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today. So many of you have sent cards or emails or called with words of sympathy and encouragement… Every one of those has been very much appreciated by all of us. Thank you.
 
Grandma had four grandkids: Ann, Jason, me, and Michelle. She was the greatest grandmother who ever lived. She took us on vacations, She took us out to dinner. She had us over for weekends (where we stayed up late, ate whatever we wanted, talked and laughed and played). Grandma was convinced that grandmothers were created for the sole purpose of spoiling their grandchildren, and she did all she could to make that happen.
 
Grandma’s house was a cozy little place. It was warm and inviting. All of us wanted to be there as often as we could. That house provided safety and tons of love. Grandma always hosted the best holiday dinners and get togethers. She loved to entertain and she was the best…
 
Grandma’s house had a finished basement with a little bar and a 2nd kitchen area. I used to invite friends to go to my grandma’s house with me and we would play waitress and bartender in that basement for hours. Grandma used to let us play dress up with her clothes, jewelry, and shoes. She even let us play in her front yard, all dolled up in her clothes. I have no doubt that anyone driving by, knew exactly what was going on and smiled at our simple, childhood joy… My friends loved grandma and most of them started calling her ‘grandma,’ too…
 
When our kids started coming along, grandma was older, but no less loving. She spent as much time as she could with her dozen great-grandkids – jumping in to babysit when needed. Just seeing that next generation come along, thrilled her. She was blessed, ___ years ago, with her first great-great grand_daugher/son_...
 
Grandma lost the love of her life back in 1996. They had been married for just under half a century and I know she missed him every day. He was a wonderful husband and their love for one another set the tone for what all of our relationships should look like… One of the things I remember her saying was at Ana’s wedding. She looked around at all of us and remembered grandpa. She said, “I wish Lee was here to see this beautiful group of people. I’d say, ‘look what we started.’”  
 
Grandma lived with my mother since grandpa passed (except for a brief time in a nursing facility). They got along wonderfully well. Mom – on behalf of all of us – thank you for all you did to make grandma’s life good all the way to the end. It wasn’t easy, but you did it with grace and kindness and caring love… Thank you. You were wonderful…
 
Grandma was a quiet lady (although she could be quite feisty at times), and she told some wonderful stories. One of my favorites was about when she was a kid and heard the soft mewing of kittens up in the hay loft in the barn. She quietly climbed up the ladder to see them. As she inched closer, she stepped on some rotting floorboards and fell through, to the barn floor. She wasn’t seriously injured, but she said that, after that little incident, she never liked cats again…
 
Later on in life, when she was the head of the non-food department at the Eagle food store, she was working with Barb Barton and one day, Barb was having a wardrobe malfunction. Her underwear, she said, kept riding up, being uncomfortable, so she was constantly going into the back room to tug them a bit. Grandma gave her a bit of wise advice – ‘buy bigger underwear!’ Barb did – problem solved… Grandma was so wise…
 
A number of years ago, grandma was on her way to my house for a Christmas Eve dinner party (the only one I’ve ever hosted). She never made it. On the way, she hit a deer. She wasn’t hurt (the deer, unfortunately, was)… Jason and I always thought it somewhat ironic. When we were little, we would drive her crazy, singing her least favorite song of all time, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Raindeer…” She HATED that song… Now – well…
 
When I was little, grandma and I would dance around her kitchen, singing the song, “I Love You a Bushel and a Peck.” A wonderful childhood memory… I played that song for her a few days before she passed, and she remembered. She said, “Oh – that is a good song…” Back in the day, grandma loved to dance. She loved 40’s music, but she could dance to anything that had a good beat…
 
Grandma was a very social woman. She seldom missed an opportunity to go to a party – or to throw one. She had some wonderful parties. Everyone had a great time… And her house. I mentioned that it was cozy, but really, it was so well decorated. It always looked like a house you’d see in the pages of “Better Homes and Gardens.”
 
Even in the way she dressed, grandma was pretty classy. She took great pride in the way she looked. She loved nice clothes, handbags, and jewelry. And she always had to have her hair and nails done.
 
One of grandma’s great joys was going out with her friends. They called themselves the ‘Ya Ya Girls Group.’ They’d get together for luncheons and to play cards and have parties and entertainment at the senior center. Sometimes they’d go see plays. If they had been younger, they’d have gone bowling or played golf – she loved those in her younger years… Grandma had some wonderful friends… and, unfortunately, saw so many of them pass…

Grandma was a great cook and baker. Her ‘claim to fame’ in the kitchen, was her Kringla. For you non-Norwegians, that’s a special Norwegian cookie. Grandma was very proud of her Norwegian heritage and she made sure to show her daughter and granddaughters how to make Kringla, so we could carry on the tradition. She stayed busy, after retirement, for a few years, taking many orders from family, friends, and acquaintances for her famous Kringla. I’m sure that any time any of us make Kringla, we’ll think of her…
 
Grandma was so fun to be around. She was so devoted to all of us, her family… She taught us the value of hard work, kindness, and loyalty. She was the kind of woman who seldom, if ever, spoke ill of anyone…
 
Grandma was a comforting woman, understanding, patient… She was always there for us when we needed her. She was classy and kind. She was fun and loved to laugh and make us laugh. She was a woman for whom we will always be grateful to have had in our lives…
 
Grandma – we’re going to miss you – you’ve been such a big part of who we are. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and we will love you forever…
 
EULOGIES FOR AN AUNT
 
May C.
          May spent many hours in church during this past year. She found faith and hope and peace there – even in the midst of her pain and fear. I’d like to begin talking about her today by reading a passage from the Bible that I found. It SO describes her. It is found in Galatians 5: “The fruit the Holy Spirit produces is love, joy and peace. It is being patient, kind and good. It is being faithful and gentle and having control of oneself.” And a second one, the words of Jesus: (John 16:13): “I have told you these things, so that you can have peace because of me. In this world you will have many troubles. But be encouraged! I have overcome the world.” 
 
          May was my auntie, but she was much more than that. She was, in so many ways, like an older sister. We grew up together. We played together. We got into trouble together. We were, in fact, practically twins. She was the good twin. I was the instigator of all kinds of trouble. She always wanted to follow the rules. I looked for the most convenient way to break them – and pull her into my troublesome schemes.
 
          As a result of one of our childhood misadventures, we even managed to have matching scars. When we were little, for some reason, we were playing tic tac toe over the gas stove in mom’s kitchen. May accidently touched the flame and burned herself. I immediately tried doing the same thing she had just done and burned myself, too. We had matching burns on our right hands.
 
          When May was a child in Eureka, she was the kind of child who loved to catch butterflies, pick wild raspberries and then make wonderful raspberry pie with the Coons, the neighbor kids. She loved riding down the hill in the back yard on her bike – going to the beaches – swinging from the redwood trees (one of my most powerful memories is of us swinging from rope to rope in the redwoods, flying from one hill to the other, with a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean in the background…
 
          But as good as May always was, it was fairly easy for me to talk her into some crazy adventure I had thought of. I remember, once, when we were young, we were not allowed to go beyond two blocks from the stop signs. But that, or anything else, I could rationalize away and convince or manipulate May to break the rule with me. So often she’d say to me, “Why did you make me do that? I did not want to do it, but I have to support you and be by your side. Otherwise I am going to get in bigger trouble with my parents and yours!”  …Such a rule follower – such a wonderfully, truly good person…
 
          When we were in high school, May always encouraged me to aim for higher education and to attend college, if possible. She said that education would open up so many more opportunities… She, herself, got an associates business degree – but found that her true calling was to be a mom. When Lyla came along, May couldn’t imagine doing anything but absorbing and enjoying every moment she could with her precious daughter. Adrian was born ten years later then, four years ago, Nigel.
 
          I know that the days on which each of her children came into the world were the most joyous of her life. As much as she suffered with her disease, she suffered far more just knowing she wouldn’t be there to see her kids grow up… I hope that all three of you will see SO much of your mother in your lives as you get older. I hope you’ll see her gentleness and her love. I hope you’ll all have her pleasant personality and her optimism. I hope you’ll have the kind of love for others as she had for you and that you will never forget that YOU were the most important people in her world… You are her legacy. In you, she lives on…
 
          Va Ming – you gave her the best years of her life. You loved her for ___ years and enriched those years wonderfully. I know she hated to leave you and the kids…
 
          May WAS an amazingly optimistic person. No matter how difficult the challenges that came her way, she always had a positive word and a gentle smile…
 
          May loved taking long walks, exploring colleges, learning how to apply makeup and doing makeovers. She loved to shop and go to Hmong new years celebrations with girlfriends and family… She loved those kinds of get-togethers and the parties…
 
She had so many friends… Jamie Chang, Yia and Ma Lee, Mary Thao,  Se Her, my sister MayKer, when we were young. Tracy Vang, Kristy Thao, Mai ca Vang, Bao Vang, and  Mer Vang, from high school. When they moved to Sacramento, she really enjoyed being with Kayo Lo…
 
We all loved May. She was a wonderful friend – loyal and caring and she’d always have your back when you needed it…
 
          Soft spoken, caring, graceful, working hard never to do anything that would hurt someone else; pleasant, totally supportive… That was the May we all knew and loved.
 
          I read something once that has always stayed with me. Peter Stroble wrote: “A legacy is not leaving something for people but leaving something in people.”  May left a deeply imprinted legacy in all our hearts…
 
I love you, big sister/ little auntie! I am sad at heart – broken –  to know that our journey in this life has ended. But I am happy to know that you have prevailed and found peace. And that you are pain free for this new journey. We will never forget you. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will love you forever.
 

 
Virginia L.
I’d like to begin by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to Aunt Ginny. So many of you have reached out to Aunt Joan or to mom or other members of the family with words of sympathy and encouragement. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you…
 
The last time I sat with Aunt Ginny, she was so tired. We both knew the end was near. We talked quietly and shared some beautiful memories… At one point she pulled my hand up to her lips and kissed it – something she started doing in those last days. It was so sweet and heartfelt… Before I left, I bent over and gave her a kiss on the forehead… I think she must have known that she had been a tremendous influence in my life and that I appreciated her SO much (as is true in the lives of all her nieces and nephews – and great nieces and nephews). She must have known that she was loved and that she, no doubt, rated as one of the all-time best aunts in the world… All my life I’ve been especially proud that she was my godmother…
 
She called us all ‘Lovey.’ I’m not sure where she came up with that name, but always thought it expressed how she felt about us. She was a woman who always made time for us and was genuinely interested in our lives. She always told us to go out there and live our lives and have fun. Most of us took that advice to heart…
 
All of us remember those early years, when we would go over to Aunt Ginny’s and Aunt Joan’s house for sleep overs. Grandpa and Grandma would be there, too, of course… There was always ice cream and junk food and staying up late playing cards and games and talking and lots of laughter… In later years Aunt Ginny was our confidant. We could tell her anything. Sometimes she’d give us advice, but, for the most part, she was just a great sounding board. Aunt Ginny loved to talk and ‘hold court,’ but, even more than that, she was a great listener…
 
Aunt Joan and mom and their sister, Honey, grew up in a family of hard working people. Our grandfather was a policeman, who later became the Chief of Police in their town. Grandma was a nurse at the local GM plant. Aunt Ginny didn’t talk often about those early years, but when she did, she told about how the three sisters would run around together and hit the beaches and amusement parks near where they lived. She would sometimes tell stories of how they’d get into mischief, but usually could get out of it because their father, the former World War I marine and now the chief of police in town, had a bit of pull…
 
Aunt Ginny was especially proud of how they cared for their parents as they got older, she and Joan living with them until they passed… Good years – family years – years filled with love…
 
Aunt Joan – you were Ginny’s best friend in the world. You lived together literally all your lives. You travelled together. You played together. You shared your lives in such wonderful and generous ways. You enriched your sister’s life in every imaginable way. All of our prayers are with you, especially, in this time of loss…
 
Aunt Ginny had a wonderful career. She started out as a nurse in an ER but left that to become a nurse at IBM. She started out as an entry level nurse but ultimately, she became head of IBM’s global nursing program, travelling all over the world. Whenever she could manage it, Joan would go along, to some distant land, and they’d make a vacation out of the trip. Together, they visited dozens of cities and countries…thoroughly enjoying themselves… Seeing the sights, meeting the people, enjoying wonderful food…
 
Aunt Ginny loved IBM and working there. She loved the culture and the people she got to know. She kept in touch with a number of her co-workers after she retired, until the very end –  thirty years later…
 
While she worked at IBM, Ginny participated in the salary reduction stock purchase program and accumulated a fair number of shares of IBM stock. She never wanted to sell it and it inspired her to get into the stock market. She became a pretty good investor and loved giving investment advice to people she knew…
 
After she retired from IBM (they gave her a mantle clock to commemorate her 25 years there – she cherished that clock) – After she left IBM, a telecommunications company (ROLM) came knocking at her door, wanting to hire her as a consultant. She worked for them for another five years. They appreciated her so much, they gave her a pension that amounted to having worked there for seven years instead of just five…
 
One of the things we all loved about Aunt Gin was how positive she always was. …Always positive and practical. She was not overly opinionated and never engaged in anything other than positive talk.
 
I’m sure a lot of that came from the fact that she was a woman of deep faith. She believed that God is in charge of it all and that, ultimately, all will work out for the good and that we are all God’s children, doing the best we can... She was a life-long member at St. Joseph’s in Somers. She had so many friends there – decades long friendships – all of which she cherished. She loved the hymns and the liturgy. She loved the whole atmosphere of hope she found there…
 
One of the joys of Aunt Gin’s life was heading down to Florida or to Ticonderoga, where they had vacation homes, or going over to Mystic, RI where she and Joan would go to cassinos to do a bit of gambling and see shows. Over the years, they ran up quite a number of miles on their cars, going and doing and loving life…
 
Our grandfather, Leo, mom and Joan and Ginny’s father, passed away more than a quarter of a century ago, but he still, regularly, comes up in conversation. That has always reminded me of something I once heard, “They say, ‘People die twice. Once when they die, and the second time when their name is spoken for the last time.’” Leo’s name is still spoken, all these years later. I have no doubt that Aunt Ginny will be the same. We will talk of her often – for years and decades to come. She has been a wonderful person in our lives and we will never forget her…
 
Aunt Gin – thank you for the wonderful, positive, powerful person you were. Thank you for the inspiration and impact you’ve had on so many of our lives. We will never forget you. We will speak your name often. We will love you forever.
 

 
 
EULOGY FOR AN UNCLE
 
William G.
Standing here today, amidst all of you who have gathered to bid a final farewell to our dear Uncle Billy, I cannot help but feel a deep sense of gratitude and warmth in my heart. United in our loss, I am reminded of the impact that Uncle Billy had on almost all of us – in such a quiet, unassuming, way.
 
 Your presence, today, is a source of great comfort and strength to our family, and we are truly touched by your kindness and compassion.
 
Uncle Billy was a kind man. He was rather ‘old school.’ He was a gentleman. He never raised his voice. He never swore. He found pleasure in the small things in life – like a birthday card or a Christmas card or a phone call...
 
If you have ever had an Uncle Billy in your life, you are one of the  luckiest people in the world. To me and my siblings, he was a father figure… so, even though he didn’t have his own children, he had us… Uncle Billy wasn't just any uncle - he was a shining example of kindness, gentleness, and all the other qualities that make up a truly great person.
 
Even Uncle Bily’s doctors, in last days, couldn't help but be touched by Uncle Billy's character. One of them went so far as to say that he was the nicest person he had ever treated. It's not hard to see why. Uncle Billy was always grateful for anything anyone did for him, no matter how small.
 
Uncle Billy spent most of his life working at Wimbushe’s Bakery as the Manager – 40 years! He was completely dedicated to his work. He was always the first to arrive and the last to leave… He was always going the extra mile to ensure that everything was in order.
 
Uncle Billy was such a quiet, shy, man that he lived a rather solitary life. He had a small flat in a high rise building and was perfectly content there for four decades… When he moved closer to his sister, my mother, Anna, he had a garden and he absolutely LOVED it. In that garden he was truly in his element… The beauty, the solitude, the sunshine – bring new life from the soil…
 
Uncle Billy, was once married to the love of his life, Pauline. The marriage lasted for only five years, but, in Pauline, he had found his soul mate and they were dear friends until the day she passed… When she got sick, he looked after her and eventually searched out and found good home care for her…. He told me once that he only went out with Pauline, in the first place, because SHE asked HIM out. He was so shy, he would have never asked her. In fact, he said, he never asked ANY girl out. He was afraid of being turned down…
 
When Pauline passed away, she left Uncle Billy with wonderful memories… Losing her was probably one of the greatest losses of his life.
 
Uncle Billy's deepest love in life was his dogs. Jasper and Jack were not just pets, they were his babies. They thrilled him with the joy they took from the simple things of life (just like him) – meal time, treats, going for walks... And Billy had no doubt that they loved him as much as he loved them…
 
Another of Uncle Billy’s great loves was a good cup of coffee. The baristas at every coffee shop in town recognized him by name. He was a quiet man, yet his fondness for coffee transformed him into a seasoned coffee connoisseur. I don’t suppose any of them got into any profound conversations with Uncle Billy, but I know they enjoyed having him come in and watched his pleasure as he drank their steamy brew…
 
Probably the thing the entire family admired Uncle Billy most for was his devotion to my mom, his sister. Dad’s death left her with six young children to raise alone, which, of course, was a daunting task. Uncle Billy, being the caring brother that he was, knew he had to step in and help her out in any way he could. He was at the house every weekend for, literally, years… Even in his last days, in the hospital, he kept saying to me, “Look after your mom.” We will, Uncle Billy. Thank you for all you did to make her life, and all of ours, better…
 
None of us will ever forget the love and sacrifice Billy made for us during some truly difficult times. His legacy of kindness and compassion will always be remembered by all of us. Uncle Billy truly embodied the values of family and love.
 
He loved music, too. Classical. But he didn’t put on a pair of headphones , sit on the couch and enjoy. He loved to crank it up loud and listen. He was a quiet man, but his music was anything but quiet…
 
 
There is one story about Uncle Billy that just has to be told… Uncle Billy never got his driver's license. He took lessons for two long years, but the driving instructor eventually gave up and told him to quit…. It wasn't that Uncle Billy didn't have the desire to learn.. He tried his best, but it just wasn't meant to be. The driving instructor said he "mounted the pavement" too often to make it as a safe driver…
 
Uncle Billy, you were a wonderful man who has left an indelible impression on many of our lives. You have been an indispensable part of our family and have always been there to support us through thick and thin. We are going to miss you terribly, but we find solace in the thought that you will always be with us in spirit.
 
Your kindness, wisdom, and generosity have touched our lives in countless ways, and we are forever grateful for the time we spent with you. Your infectious smile and positive attitude always brought sunshine into our lives, and we will forever cherish the memories we shared with you. You will always hold a place in our hearts and we will never forget you… and will love you forever.
 

 
 
 
EULOGY FOR A MOTHER-IN-LAW
 
Miriam A.
          There are a lot of mother-in-law jokes out there. NONE of them apply to mine. I was 18 when I first met Mimi. I was just a kid, but Mimi became like my second mother… and I loved her no less than a real mother. She was strong and beautiful. She was smart and compassionate and loving. She was the best!
 
          Mimi loved to tell the story of how she and Jim met. They were students at U of T. Jim was working in her dorm, washing pots and pans in the kitchen. A buddy came in and told Jim there was a girl out there who looked like Suzanne Pleshette. Jim was curious, so he went to take a look. She did! He went to meet her, but almost overwhelmed her (you know how loud Jim can be – and how quiet Mimi was). Somehow, Jim found his entrance. “I understand you know how to do the ‘Whip’” (that was a dance back then). Mimi said, “Yes. I do.” And that started a series of ‘yesses’ that lasted for 55 wonderful years.
 
          Together they had four sons – all of them loud, like Jim and none of them soft-spoken and demure, like their mother, but that made no difference to Mimi. She loved each of them more than she could ever express. She was forever telling people how wonderful her sons were. As ‘the boys’ got older and married, Mimi graciously included us daughters-in-law in her stories and bragging us all up to her friends. I’m not sure that she really saw a difference. We were her daughters just as much as her sons were her sons. She loved us all the same and we all adored her.
 
But we all took a back seat when the grandkids started arriving. You’ve heard of ‘hands on’ parents and grandparents? Mimi was that in spades. I’m pretty sure that the most joyous days of her life were the days on which each of her grandkids were born. There are ten of them (and one on the way). Mimi was always there. She went to thousands of soccer games, gymnastic competitions, baseball and softball games, dance recitals, twirling competitions, and rodeos. And she was always the biggest fan there. Even after being diagnosed with cancer, she insisted on being at whatever some grandchild was in.
 
Mimi was all about family. She used to say that the thing she enjoyed most in life was when Jim took her to Europe for the first time. They went to London, Paris, and Rome. She LOVED it. But last month, when we could all see Mimi had limited time left, we had a “Celebration of Life” party for her. All her boys and their wives – all of her grandkids – were there. As the party came to an end, she looked up at Jim and said, “honey, this was the greatest day of my life.” There was NOTHING that could even come close to having all her family together at one place – laughing, talking, reminiscing, enjoying being together…
 
Mimi had such a wonderful spirit. She loved to dance and sing. She loved travel and to meet new people - to learn things. And she loved to shop. Mimi was a world-class shopper. She was really into fashion – she loved to look good – and always did.
 
When Mimi attended a party, everybody wanted to see what she was wearing…and her shoes -  Oh, my Lord, Mimi would go to a party, and everybody would say, “Oh, look at Judy shoes!” They loved her shoes and outfits. She was a woman with ‘style’ and always managed to pull it off and get positive comments every time.
 
A number of you who are here today remember Mimi’s jazzercise classes over at the Methodist church gym. Mimi was usually a quiet woman, but once she put on her workout clothes and some music that moved her soul, she could put on quite a performance. Dancing, singing… music, gave her such joy.
 
And people, too. She loved being with others. She was never loud and sometimes felt, I think, that people didn’t ‘hear’ her. But we all did. We heard her in her actions. We heard her caring and compassion and depth of understanding and empathy. We heard the fresh perspectives she brought to things – her insights and wisdom… and everyone appreciated the beauty she brought to life – in her person and in her personality…
 
When Mimi was in the hospital, she told her grandkids that she would always be with them even after she’s gone. She said that she didn’t know about looking down from heaven – whether that was the way it worked or not - but that she would always be with them in their hearts and their memories and in the people they are and will yet become. And she was right, of course. Mimi’s life influenced everyone she touched and who we are is, in part, due to having had her in our lives.
 
Kind, sweet, demure, beautiful, compassionate, wonderful Mimi. We’re all going to miss her. But she will live on in our hearts – and in who we are – always.
 
Mimi – Thank you for loving us. Thank you for giving your best to those you love. Thank you for all you were. We will always have a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 

 
 
EULOGY FOR A STEP FATHER
 
Lorrence R.
          As I look out at all of you who have come to honor Larry and, as I’ve read the cards that have come in from people expressing sympathy and often telling a ‘story’ of their experience with him, I am reminded of what an amazing man Larry was.
 
Like all of us, Larry was a multi-faceted man. Over the course of the past 40 years – since he married my mother – I’ve seen the many faces of Larry Fiscus. I’ve seen the stern and disciplined military man – not giving an inch – always knowing the right way things should be done – so proud to be part of the TACP. I’ve seen the soccer granddad, cheering, with abandon, his granddaughter’s team, along side dozens of suburban moms and dads. I’ve seen the fierce protector of family from any and all threats – the tenderness with which he always took care of mom… I’ve seen him wearing stickers and doing silly stuff… and I’ve seen a man whose pride was sorely crushed by Parkinson’s – a disease that took so much from him.
         
          Like I said – he was a multi-faceted, complex man. He came into my life when I was a teenager – that was probably as difficult for him as it was for me. He knew me through some of the most difficult phases of my life. But I always knew that he was there for me. I knew that anything I needed, if he could supply it, he would.
 
          The one thing that I so loved Larry most for, was how he loved my mom and how he related to my daughters, Valerie and Vanessa. He, literally, made their childhoods happier. He and mom showed them what a loving relationship looked like – filled with fun and laughter and respect. That was an invaluable lesson to two young girls, growing up.
 
And, in Larry’s eyes, those two granddaughters could do no wrong. He was their biggest cheerleader.  He attended almost all of their soccer and softball games and was well know around the fields as ‘Papa Larry.’ He dressed up, with them, on Halloween and went trick or treating.  One year, he was SpongeBob, which the girls just loved. Another year he was a scary clown – which Vanessa did NOT much enjoy.  Larry would play games with them, endlessly, in the backyard.  He would make up stories to keep them entertained, but would swear they were true.
 
Larry was an extraordinary grandfather. …One year we all went to Disneyland, where, I think, Larry enjoyed it as much as the girls…
 
          Larry had that child-like part of him with which he could find excitement in small things – a dessert or a beautiful landscape… and he could, at other times, be fairly rigid in his thinking and actions (but never with his girls – mom, me, Shelly, Vanessa and Valerie).
 
          With us he was at home. He was truly his best self in every way. He loved watching old movies, the History channel and the Nature channel. When we went to the zoo, Larry was constantly impressing us all with how much he knew about the various animals. He could play board games with us for hours on end… and if we wanted to really please him, we’d make him some special treat (Larry had a big sweet tooth!).
 
          Before Parkinson’s hit, one of the things he and mom loved to do was to go dancing. Larry adored mom. The years they had together were the best of both of their lives. Mom – I was so touched by your gentleness and love to Larry during his last hospital stay – how you talked with him lovingly and caressed him and let him know you were there…
 
          Larry pulled us all into some of his military training. He had learned to parachute in the service and loved it. So, when I was young, he took me parasailing in Florida. He was a great instructor – very meticulous about every detail (which, of course, seems like a very good thing if you’re going to jump out of an airplane or fly behind a boat a hundred feet up in the air). He took both Vanessa and Valerie indoor skydiving. He loved the adrenaline rush!
 
          Larry was such a wonderful help to me so often in my life. He was always up for some project I had. Together we refinished a dresser, we fixed leaky toilets, we did any number of home repairs. He taught me that, no matter what, we could figure it out. He’d say, “it’s not rocket science, you know…”
 
          A couple quirks Larry had: The most notable was his coffee. He didn’t drink much – maybe a cup a day. But he, somehow, made that one cup last all day. It would get stone cold, of course,but he’d still drink it. I’d try to pick it up from the counter to empty it and put it into the dishwasher… “No…no. I’m still drinking that…” Ugh!
 
          A second one was his attire. He always wanted to look good. He took great pride in looking clean-cut and put together. …and it took him forever. He was ALWAYS running late – but it was never his fault. He’d blame it on some random thing: the wind knocked a plant over, or a light was out…
 
          One more… Larry loved basketball – especially Duke. Watching him watching, was a show in itself. He’d stand up. He’d sit down. He’d yell at the TV. He’d cheer when they did well and boo when they didn’t. He’d say, “That boy’s a shooter,” or “It’s a game of runs,” explaining what was going wrong or going right…
 
          Larry wasn’t big on change, but he was a man of passion. He was loving. He was honorable. He was courageous. He was protective of all of us whom he loved. And we loved him…
 
          Larry – Papa – Hoops – you have been a force in our lives – in many ways a role model. You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you and will love you forever.
 
         
         
EULOGIES FOR A WORK FRIEND
 
Charles C.
          Are you supposed to love someone you work with – someone who is your mentor and inspiration – one who is older and wiser and probably more skilled? I admit it. I loved Charles C. …And I know everyone here today did, too. Everyone who ever met the man loved him. He had the gift of gab and he had an innate ability to show true interest in you – who you are – what you do – your ambitions and dreams.
 
          I was a business colleague, but I also considered Charles a dear friend. I knew him for fourteen years. During that time I never knew him to have a bad or sad or out-of-sorts day. He was just always positive, always telling a funny story, or laughing at a story you’ve told. He was probably one of the most positive men most of us have ever known.
 
          One of the things I always admired about Charles, was his penchant for staying in shape. Even at 83 the man could do more than a hundred push-ups a day. He often walked several miles. I don’t think I could do a hundred push-ups in a week (could you keep up with Charles? …probably not). He still worked 5+ days a week – just because he could and he loved it.
 
          Bridge Capital lost a great man when Charles died. They could send him anywhere in the world and he’d get a busted project back on track. He had a wonderful insight into what issues were involved and what to do to solve problems… and the personality and determination to make the needed adjustments. I know that Charles played a pivotal role in helping them and their affiliate companies enjoy global success during the past 20 years.
 
          Charles taught me a lot over the years I knew him, but probably the most important thing I learned had nothing to do with construction or project management. A few months after we met (after we started doing things socially as well as professionally), he started to end our conversations, emails and texts with “love you,” or “love and miss you, my friend.”
 
          I was raised in a loving family, but we didn’t use the ‘L’ word very often. But Charles said it so easily (and convincingly), that I started saying it to him, too. Back then, when I was one of the newest people to the team, and Charles had already been around for decades, it meant a lot to me, at the time, to be accepted and loved by him – and loved so quickly and easily...
 
          When we moved away from Cambodia, Charles kept contact with me and my family (something I'm terrible at, even with email and texts). He would call or email just to check-in and see how things were going for us and let us know that he loved and missed us. That was powerful! We could be half way around the world and this man was thinking about us and reaching out… Incredible!
 
          Charles was such an ‘old school’ gentleman. He always opened the door for the ladies, stood up every time they get up from the table or returned and sat down… We always used to joke that he made the rest of us look bad because he was always going above-and-beyond what anyone else might do (but ask my wife – he DID make the rest of us look a bit uncultured).
 
          But Charles was also a lion. About ten years ago (Charles would have been 73), a bunch of us were out having dinner in Phnom Penh. A guy came staggering over from the bar, to our table, and started mumbling and making aggressive moves. We tried to ignore him, hoping he’d go away. He didn’t, of course. He got even more aggressive as we ignored him. When he started getting physical, Charles jumped to his feet and wrestled the guy away from us. The guy grabbed a steak knife! Charles immediately put himself between the man and us and forced the guy out of the restaurant. We were all stunned with the suddenness of the entire thing. Charles had taken care of it before we could even think to react… NO ONE messed with Charles’ friends… No one messed with a man who has the heart of a lion…
 
          Charles loved his work and he loved us, his work family, but he was SO proud of his sons, Trevor and Sean. I hadn’t met either one before now, but I’ve always felt as though I had. He talked about them for hours – about their accomplishments and their lives – their jobs, their families… and his grandson – Charles talked about him all the time – his football and baseball prowess – his intelligence… his ambitions… Charles was a man who dearly loved his family…
 
          All of us who knew Charles are going to miss him. He was an amazing man with an unforgettable personality and zest for life. I won’t hear him say it to me anymore, but I’ve got to say it to him one last time: Charles – ‘love you, my friend.’ And I always will.
 

 
Natasha D.
          Tasha would have looked at all the people here today, gathered to celebrate her life and honor her, and felt rather uncomfortable. She was never one to seek the spotlight nor desire to be the center of attention. But how can we not? Tasha was a wonderful, positive, dependable, loyal person in our lives…
 
          I’d like to begin by allowing Tasha say a few words for herself – from an email she sent, back in 2018, just after being diagnosed… Here’s what she wrote:
 
“I learned a long time ago you can either live in fear of what is going to happen next, or you can roll with the punches.  I try to live on the positive side because it makes for a smoother ride.  My teenagers have taught me and my husband a lot. Having children in today’s world will make you gain thick skin.  So, when my doctor told my husband and I that I had cancer, my next question was how do we fight it?  I never once cried, because I know that crying is not going to solve anything.  I believe treatment is one thing but, your mindset is another.  If you have positive thoughts, it will help, rather than being negative and sad.  I’m the same way in my job which is why I know I love customer service.  If I can help, I’ll just do it, no matter what.  It’s the right thing to do and it’s what our company expects.”
 
          I was Natasha’s supervisor at Johnson & Johnson. She was there before I was hired, and she was the first person to make me feel welcome and feel that I belonged. We worked together for nine years. We didn’t always see eye-to-eye on everything, but we were always able to discuss and compromise and execute a joint strategy that was good for the company. Privately, we called ourselves the ‘dynamic duo’ and felt a rush of excitement when we succeeded at something as a team…
 
          Tasha was a bit of a workaholic. Quite often I’d have to get firm with her at the end of the work day and insist she go home. She’d say, “OK. Just let me take care of this one last thing…”
 
In these past few years, she’d even take her laptop home with her and even to the hospital! I told her she should NOT be working. She should be working at regaining her strength. I even threatened to reach out to Charles and tell him… She said, “Don’t you dare. He will be furious with me if he finds out.” I’m pretty sure I didn’t have to tell Charles. He knew Natasha. She did what she wanted and always said that working keeps her mind off her illness. And, I suppose, it did. How do you challenge that, considering what she was going through?  I never called Charles.
 
Charles, you were her ‘Rock of Giberalter.’ You were with her through her good days and her very bad days. She couldn’t have made it without you… On her behalf, I thank you.
 
Some of you probably remember the TV show M.A.S.H. Natasha was every bit the modern day “Radar O’Reilly” – seemingly endowed with ESP, appearing at my side just at the right time and anticipating my needs.  She somehow managed to extract information like no other person I have ever met. She constantly amazed me…
  
Tasha’s heroes in life were her mother and grandmother. She spoke of the two of you so often. Strong women. Wonderful role models. Women who imparted wisdom and helped make her the woman she was. She loved both of you SO much…
 
And she adored her children: Jessie, Michael, and Charlie. The three of you were the light of her life. Watching you grow up into the wonderful adults you are, gave her the deepest joy of her life. …And Kaiden… Tasha was so in love with her granddaughter.
 
I remember so clearly, when Kaiden was born. Natasha tried to be nonchalant about it but, within two weeks, she brought that baby to the office so we could meet her. I think that, more than anything or anyone else, Kaiden was the most powerful reason for her to fight her cancer. 
 
Natasha would bring Kaiden to office for a visit and everyone joined in the fun of having a little one around.  When she was a toddler, I put some bubble wrap on the floor and showed her how to pop the bubbles by stomping on it. Kaiden loved it. So did I.  Natasha came into my office and saw what we were doing and shook her head at me, in disapproval.  I laughed it off and told her to let me enjoy a ‘grandmother moment!’  Jessie, I hope you’ll let Kaiden stomp on bubble wrap with every package you open that has any, and let it remind you and her of your mother and her grandmother…
 
Another of Tasha’s great loves was her dog, Apollo – a German Shepherd that Natasha insisted was practically human. Apollo always sat ‘shotgun’ in the car. He even tended to be a part of our Zoom meetings. Most of us would greet him and we were all pretty sure he knew who we were and understood what we were talking about…
 
I’ve always thought of Natasha as ‘Wonder Woman.’ She knew no boundaries when it came to taking care of customers, meeting deadlines, and training and helping team members. I can still hear her saying, so often, “I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”
 
Honesty, integrity, dedication, inquisitiveness…Dependable, loyal, trustworthy. A joy to work with. A wonderful person to call ‘friend.’ She was all of that and more.
 
Natasha, I think of you every day and, perhaps, always will. I am so thankful for our friendship.  We went through so much together - good and bad – and both came out the other side as better people and closer friends.  I loved you like a sister; You have graced my life more than you will ever know.  You will always hold a place in all our hearts and we will love you forever.
 

 
 
EULOGY FOR A GOD-MOTHER
 
Mary M.
          I have always considered myself to be one of the most fortunate people on earth. I had two moms. My biological mom, _[name]_, and my ‘Godmom.’ ‘Mom 2’ (Mary) always called me ‘the daughter I never had’ and would often actually introduce me that way. Even though our families shared no ‘blood’ other than Italian, the Rosito family and ours were totally ‘family.’
 
          The relationship goes all the way back to WWII, when Mary’s father and my grandfather met while being interned at the Petawawa camps. Their daughters met and became lifelong best friends. Michael and Ronnie became the brothers my sisters and I never had and Aldo became my ‘Dad 2.’
 
          Mary always had a positive outlook on life and that perspective was as contagious as her wonderful laugh. Can’t you still hear her laugh? It was unique and infectious and lit up her entire face. I’ll never forget it.
 
          Mary was the kind of woman who was so outgoing and gregarious that she made everyone around her comfortable. She drew everyone into whatever conversation was going on. She SO wanted everyone around her to feel loved and safe and content. … That was the Italian in her coming out. Her middle name was ‘hospitality’ and, whenever she entertained, there was always an abundance of food and laughter and good feeling…
 
           When I was sixteen, my father asked Mary (unbeknownst to me) if I could go to Montreal to stay with her for a couple of weeks – he and mom needed to get me out of the house. I was going through some adolescent angst that summer and they thought I might do better with ‘Aunt’ Mary and ‘Uncle’ Aldo.
 
          That two week summer break turned into two months and I began calling Aunt Mary, ‘Mom 2’ and Uncle Aldo, ‘Dad 2’ because that summer was such a momentous one in our relationship. I would, later, when my mother died in 2010, start calling her just ‘mom’ – because, at that point and in every way, she was my mom (and my real mother would have thought it wonderful).
 
          That summer, Aldo and Mary were doing a lot of party-going. …fancy parties, where you get dressed to the ‘9’s’ and go out on the town. I was in awe of the gorgeous  long gowns Mary would wear and the high heeled shoes and the hairdo’s and makeup... She looked fabulous!
 
Mary always dressed immaculately, of course. She never left the house without her hair done and her makeup on, but on those occasions, when she and Aldo stepped out, she took it to another level, entirely!
 
Later on, I’d end up going to school in Montreal and spent nearly every weekend with them. Every Sunday, Mary would serve spaghetti and meatballs and always sent the left-overs home with me. I was, without doubt, the best fed co-ed in the dorm!
 
I met my future husband just after my mother passed. Since my mother couldn’t do it, Mary stepped in and took _[name]_ aside for the ‘mom’ talk, telling him he had better be good to me – to remember that we are Italians and we take care of our own – and did that slitting of the throat movement… It worked. _[name]_ is a great husband… Thank you, mom…
 
Mary was the glue that kept our extended family together. She made sure that we were all present for all the holidays and celebrations that came along. She hosted most of them and did all the cooking, cleaning, decorating. She was at her happiest when she was throwing those parties and get-togethers. In fact, it wouldn’t be uncommon for Mary to have a Fourth of July weekend party (which happened to be her and Aldo’s wedding anniversary) with 50 of her closest friends and family in the back yard for a Barbeque.
 
One of the things that always impressed me was their home. Mary had a bit of the interior decorator in her and she always had such a lovely place. She would change the décor on a fairly regular basis – every time making it beautiful in a slightly different way. She even gave ideas to others on how to do it… I wouldn’t be surprised if she isn’t up there doing some cloud rearranging for God right now…
 
I think Mary and God were, actually, pretty good friends all her life. She always attended church at the church her father helped found, many years ago. She loved the singing and the music, the sermons and all the people she knew… She served on the board for a number of years and took part in all kinds of church activities – taking great pleasure hosting the pastors and their wives at her house for meals from time to time…
 
Mary wrote a letter to us before she passed. She called it “Letter to My Family.” In it, she said some wonderful thing, but it ends with these words: “Try not to be too sad for too long. Just remember that I had a good and long life. I love all of you and I promise that I will be looking down on all of you and protecting you.” Then, she signed it “YOUR MOM” in caps.
 
Mom – Aunt Mary – Godmother Mary – My parents couldn’t have picked a better Godmother for me. It was the greatest honor of my life to ultimately call you ‘Mom.’ You will always hold a place in our hearts. We will never forget you. We will love you forever.
 

 
 
EULOGIES FOR A FRIEND
 
Alison B.
I’ve known Mrs. Bates almost all my life (Sorry, I have to call her ‘Mrs. Bates.’ No man alive can call his 5th grade teacher by her first name, no matter how old he might be). Nevertheless, because I’ve known her so long and she has been a part of this community for three generations, I count it an honor to stand here today and talk about her and her life.
 
I would like to say that I am the man I am today because of this dear woman. But that would be overstating the facts, and she wouldn’t want me to do that... Mrs. Bates was one of my teachers during those impressionable, formative years of my young life. I’m pretty sure that every teacher we had, along the way, impacted every one of the students they taught in such a way as to, little by little, make us all the people we would yet become.
 
I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Bates looked back at her career (she taught for over 40 years) and thought of the hundreds of students she taught and just KNEW she had done something good in the world. She had formed young minds and taught them how to think and reason and defend their ideas and insights. It’s not possible for any teacher to follow the pathways of all her students after they leave school, but I know that Mrs. Bates reveled in some of those who went on to become successful in life that she knew about. For her, those students – all of us – whether we did well or not, were like her own kids. She wanted the best for each and every one…
 
Mrs. Bates didn’t just teach us facts. She taught character and to have respect for one another. She taught us self-confidence (and to teach that to an adolescent is no easy task). She taught us, through example, how to present ourselves…. One thing I remember about her is that she was always well dressed…
 
As I talked with Michael, Lori, and Jarrod this week, that’s the same thing they said. They said that one of her passions in life was shopping and that she would spend HOURS buying clothes for her them so they would always look good. Michael said they were the best dressed kids in school. Lori piped in with how mom made sure their socks matched their outfit for the day – and the shoes had to match, too… She said that their sock drawers were organized by color! Now, THAT is a disciplined woman…
 
Jarrod said that his mother was his ‘rock.’ She helped him get through some pretty tough times over the years.
 
Family was extremely important to Annabelle (there – I said her first name in public – it still doesn’t feel quite natural). She was a Muller. It’s a big family and Mrs. Bates always loved getting together for family events over in Ardmore. They have a long heritage there. Her father was one of the founding elders of the church located on Harris Street. She, herself, and her husband, Dale, were members of the Lutheran church.
 
Dale and Allison were high school sweethearts. They met here, in Wilson, and knew it was a great place to raise a family so they stayed (except when college took her/them away for a time). Annabelle and Dale were married for 53 years!
 
Allison adored her four kids: Lori, Kimmy, Jerrod, and Michael. Watching them grow up and become wonderful adults, was the best thing in her life… One of the worse things in her life, was losing Kimmy, back in _[year]_. That was devastating and I’m pretty sure Annabelle (or the rest of the family, for that matter) never really got over it.
 
But, as much as she loved her own kids, that love was overshadowed by the 6 grandkids: Kassheimer, Chance, Braden, Dillan, Connor, and Kinney. They were her joy when they were little and the pride of her life as they grew up.
 
I hope that each of you grandkids will count yourselves so fortunate to have known your grandparents. So many never do. And I hope you will be like your grandmother in many ways – always gracious and kind, generous, loving, having a desire to learn and to pass on what you know to others. I hope you’ll emulate her faith and trust in God… You six are her legacy. In a very real way, her life goes on in you.
 
Jan Clark was Mrs. Bates best friend. Jan is the sister of one of Mrs. Bates co-workers. They’ve been friends for decades… And, I understand, that she kept in contact, since retirement, with some of the other women on her teaching staff: Mrs. Guinn, Mrs. Wilson and Mrs. Fulton (I’m pretty sure each has a first name, but I’ve told you how it is with teachers when you were young and even older). Mrs. Bates was such a warm and wonderful woman that those she taught with had a life-long bond…
 
Mrs. Bates’ sister, Mary, is a great sister. She would call almost every day and they’d chat for a while – sometimes reminiscing, sometimes gossiping, sometimes talking politics or the weather. It didn’t really matter. Just being on the phone with her sister was all that was important… I know Mary will miss those conversations… and I’m sure Mrs. Bates loved the anticipation, each day, of her sister checking in…
 
In these past few years, one of the pleasures of her life, was watching Dale work in the yard and with the flower beds where he brought forth such delicate beauty... She was so proud of him…she would often tell others what he was working on and doing. He was an excellent care giver in these last years and she so appreciated him… Dale, I know you know she loved you and appreciated all you did for her. I’d like to publicly, on her behalf, express that. Thank you for your loving care and constancy. You were an inspiration.
 
Friends and family – memories of students and seeing them doing well – grandkids growing up and stopping by or calling – knowing she made a difference in her world. That was our beloved Mrs. Bates.
 
Those of us who had her as a teacher will never forget her. Many of the things she taught will be with us all our lives and, as is always the course of events, some of those things will be passed on to our children and perhaps even to theirs, such that she touches generations yet to be born...
 
Mrs. Bates – thank you. Thank you for the kind of person you were, for the good you did, for the example you set. Thank you for your patience and words of encouragement that impacted so many lives. You were a treasure. May God enjoy you now, forever.
 

 
DELIA S.
        Good morning. My name is David Smith and I’ve been asked to read Delia’s eulogy by her family. I count it a great honor to do so.
 
        I’d like to start by thanking you all for being here today as we say a final farewell to Delia. So many have sent cards and emails and texts with words of encouragement and expressions of sympathy to Delia’s family. Every one of those have been very much appreciated. Thank you.
 
        So – You all knew Delia…What’s the one thing she was noted for? Work, of course. There are a lot of work-a-holics in the world, but Delia was work-a-holic #1. She was one of those people who didn’t like holidays or vacations because they seemed to drag on forever. She couldn’t wait to get back to work – to sell – to buy – to negotiate – to find new properties – to make money. Work was her life and greatest love.
 
        It all started when she was just a kid. She said that, when she was just six years old, she was out in the fields picking cotton to help support the family. She said that her family was so poor that her mother would take the bags potatoes came in (back then they came in a course kind of cloth bag)… Her mother would tear those bags apart and make them into underwear for the kids. It was humiliating when she’d be at school, jumping rope or playing on the playground and someone would see her underwear and tease her about it.
 
        She’d tell about the time her mother came into the living room and Delia was watching TV. She asked her, “Delia – is that TV going to put food in your belly?  Is it going to put shoes on your feet?”
“No, ma,” she’d say.
“Then get back to work…”
 
        THAT’S where Delia’s work ethic came from. NOTHING produces a good life – even an adequate life – other than work… So work became the driving force in her life. It became who she was…
 
        And it worked. Delia was TOTALLY successful. She had a passion for working and bringing in money. She admitted, though, that her passion for work kept her from being the kind of mother she knew she ought to be.
 
        Jeff told me that he talked with her a couple of weeks before she passed. He was in the process of writing this eulogy. He asked his mom what she wanted said about her at her funeral. She said, “Tell everyone that I was a hard worker and all my success was achieved from hard work.”
        “You don’t want them to know you were a good mom?”
        “No. That’s alright… Oh – also tell them that I’m coming back as an illegal alien and swim across the border so I can get all my free stuff.”
 
          Of course Delia loved her family, too. She might have been a bit awkward in showing it, but it was always there. Jose, Richard, Yolanda, Diana, Judith, Jeffrey… She loved seeing the wonderful people they became. She grieved like anything when she lost Jose, Richard, and Judith... Like all mothers, you never get over losing your children… And, of course, losing Ross, earlier this year, was SO tough on her…They had been married for 40 years.
 
          The family kept growing… 13 grandchildren, 18 great grandkids, and 3 great-great grandkids… What a legacy she leaves. I hope that all you grandkids and greats will see some of your grandmothers work ethic in your own lives. I hope you’ll see her passion and drive for success. In all of you, she lives on in the world… Who you are and who you become is, at least in part, because of who and what your grandmother was…
 
          Jeff and his family moved a dozen years ago, to be near Ross and Delia as they started to decline. Consequently, she and Addison developed a deeper relationship than probably any of the other grandkids had a chance to do. When Addison was still young enough to think it cool and fun to hang out with her grandmother, they used to have sleep overs. Delia would take Addison on shopping sprees, coming home loaded down with shopping bags and hopped up on sugar. Then they’d stay up all night, shopping on the shopping network on TV.
 
          Ray then banned Addison from sleep overs. It was too much. He’d have to spend most of the next day on the phone and on the computer, cancelling all the things they bought. …Then Delia would invite her over again a month or so later – and they’d do it all again…
 
          Jeff had the opportunity of working with his mom (actually, during the past twelve years, they became ‘best friends’ of sorts). He remembers one distressed house they bought, sight unseen – the house of a hoarder cat-women (she had over 30 cats). He says the house was stacked to the ceiling with trash and boxes and items. But the most memorable thing about it was the stench of cat urine. Jeff began to wretch and ran out of the house to vomit. Delia was in heaven, though. She had hit the jackpot. She spent the better part of a year going through it all, looking for treasures.
 
          Delia wasn’t ALWAYS working. When she was younger, she loved to travel. She visited countries and cities on 6 of the seven continents. She saw the wonders of God’s world and enjoyed every minute of it… And she did know it was God’s world. With all her work and busyness, she was a deeply spiritual person. She wasn’t much of a church goer, except on the holidays, but I’m pretty sure she sent up a prayer for most of us here today at one time or another – seeking God’s blessing or healing or for His help…
 
          She secretly gave tens of thousands of dollars to a variety of charities and charitable organizations: Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Wounded Veterans Association, and various church organizations…
 
          It is suspected that Delia was the ‘tough cookie’ she was because, deep down, she was a very sensitive woman (many people didn’t know that – she hid it well). She liked to be the person who kept it real. Who told it like it was. No sugar-coating. Like it or not, here it is… But, inside, she had a tender heart.
 
          Delia was often asked to speak as an inspirational and motivational speaker at events because of her passion and strongly held ideas about success. And she inspired SO many. People started their own businesses, started to set goals, KNEW they could make it after listening to her and hearing her story…
 
          Delia was an invincible woman. She loved to work. She had a laser focus. She was fearless… She was a woman who inspired and sent others off into the world to find success.
 
          Delia – you will always hold a place in the hearts of all of us who knew you. You were one-of-a-kind. We will never forget you. Rest, now, in peace