How To Write a Eulogy for a Friend

Guidelines for speaking at a Funeral Service

     When you get the heart wrenching news of the death of a loved one, the last thing you want to even think about doing is to write a funeral speech or a eulogy speech at their funeral service. All you want to do is to grieve and mourn with your loved ones. However, speaking at your loved one’s funeral service is considered a great honor. Speaking at a funeral service for your loved one can be a rather hard task but, this guide for speaking at a funeral service will, hopefully, give you some assistance.

     It’s difficult to know what to say when your loved one dies. Speaking or even writing your eulogy speech can be a headache and an impossible task when you are grieving. However, no matter how hard it is for you, you want your speech to be heartfelt. It is hard to summarize a whole life in a short eulogy speech but the following tips should help you speak at a funeral service.

     Before you begin, you will want to find and read through eulogies that others have written to get a ‘feel’ for what you are doing. Writing a eulogy is a talent and sometimes even talented writers struggle with writing a eulogy properly. TheEulogyWriters.com has three great sample eulogies for you to peruse. Other eulogy examples are easily available with a search engine search.

Always write your speech in advance: Thinking that you will just go to the lectern, take the microphone and say what you are feeling is a bad idea. If public speaking comes naturally to you then you may be able to do that. But if that is not the case, then it is better to write your memorial speech in advance as it would save you from awkward silence and stuttering during your funeral speech. We understand that writing is not everyone’s forte and that is why we are here to do that for you. TheEulogyWriters.com can have an amazing eulogy in your hands by tomorrow at this time (sorry – we just had to get that little commercial in there – a eulogy writing service is SO helpful for people in their time of need).
Practice your speech before the funeral service: You do not feel like doing anything because you have lost a loved one. That is natural. Our psyche tends to stifle many of our emotions to as a coping mechanism. But you have been given the chance to speak at the funeral which is a privilege most people never receive. You have to make this speech memorable for your loved one. You can choose to practice in front of a mirror or you can at least read it thoroughly so that you roughly know the contents of your speech and can use your phraseology well.
How long should your memorial speech be? A good speech is always restricted by time. The best length for a funeral should be four to seven minutes. No memorial speech should exceed ten minutes as you will start to irritate the guests at the funeral service. To avoid losing the attention of your audience at the funeral service, try to keep your speech short and memorable. As mentioned before, looking at eulogy samples and tailoring the length of your eulogy remarks to the eulogy examples you see will be helpful.
Get some feedback while practicing: Practicing in front of a mirror is not a bad idea, but practicing in front of real people is preferable. Listen to their feedback and edit appropriately.
How should I start my eulogy speech? The hardest part is getting started. Introductions can be awkward. You should always start your eulogy speech by acknowledging the occasion and the presence of everyone at the funeral service. You can, perhaps, use the typical eulogy example by starting with: “We all are gathered here to mourn the death of our beloved…”
Go down the memory lane: A memorable eulogy speech is always filled with lovely stories that make you and your audience weep and laugh at the same time. You must make sure to share stories that are fun but appropriate as well. You always want to remember your dead loved one in a positive and loving manner. Try to avoid such stories that would offend anyone at the funeral service or would put your loved one in a bad light.
A little humour is always welcome: Many people may be weeping at a funeral service or at least shedding a few tears. You cannot take their pain away but a little humor here and there would cheer them up for a moment or so. You don’t want to overdo it, of course, but your loved one probably had a few quirks or eccentricities. Pointing them out often lightens the mood.
Short biography: Your eulogy speech should be designed to be a short biography on your loved one’s life. However, a biography does not always have to be detailed and boring. Just keep the essential details and some important and memorable dates are enough to mention.
Add a poem to increase the interesst of your memorial speech: Reciting a beautiful poem is always a great way to either start or conclude your funeral speech. Funeral poems are in abundance online.
Keep a copy of your speech with you: Although mobile phones have taken the place of paper in so many things, reading a eulogy from your phone screen is NOT a good idea. It is simply never appropriate while public speaking (not to mention terribly risky – the battery may go dead or any variety of technical difficulties may occur. So, get the speech printed on a presentable paper and read it.
Focus on the font and its size: Before printing your funeral speech, make sure that the font size is of such kind that the speech can be easily read and you would not have to make an awkward pause during the speech to get a better look at your text.
Double spacing is advised for easy reading: Before getting your memorial speech printed, make sure to double space the text as it will make it easier for you to read.
Highlight the keywords: While you read your eulogy speech before practicing it, it is better to always highlight a few keywords in case you forget something. You won’t forget if you are simply reading your text, but many people use the text as a form of ‘notes’ and do a fair amount of speaking apart from the text.
Number your pages: You must always number your pages. That’s only common sense, but you’d be surprised how often people don’t and learn the hard way that they should have.
Single side print: We are all up for supporting a frugal lifestyle but an occasion like a funeral service of your loved one is not where you try to save pennies. It is better that you have your eulogy speech printed on single sided paper. This way your papers will not only look neat but, will also help you in going through your speech in an easy manner without looking lost.
Make eye contact: If you are not very confident when it comes to public speaking then the best tip for you is to make eye contact with a person that you are most comfortable with. It will give your brain the illusion that you are simply talking to that person.
Be calm: It can be extremely hard to deliver a speech at the funeral service of a loved one. There is a distinct chance that you will break down due to emotion. To avoid such a situation, you must always practice deep breathing before delivering a speech or keep a glass of water with you to calm yourself down by drinking water. Having a small water break will always provide you the chance to think what you have to say next.
It is okay to tear up: It is totally fine to tear up a little while giving a memorial speech at the funeral service of a loved one. This may be one of the only places it is totally appropriate. You have just lost a loved one. Everyone understands. Always keep a tissue at hand to dry those tears. Then go on.
These are the guidelines that will help you while delivering a memorial speech at a funeral service. The Eulogy Writers are here for you in this, your hardest of times.