You’ve Been Asked to Deliver a Eulogy! Should You?
You’ve lost a loved one. You are as sad as you’ve ever been. Now you’ve been asked to give a eulogy at your father’s funeral. A memorial speech for one of the best men you’ve ever known? It’s an honor to be asked, of course, but should you? Could you? Could you write concisely enough to capture 74 years of life and put it into a seven minute speech? Impossible! And the emotion of it all. Even if you could write a funeral speech, would you be able to deliver it without falling apart? And the timing – it couldn’t be worse. You’ll have to take time off of work, of course, but your brother and sisters and their families are coming in from out of town – as is your aunt and uncle. With all the shuttling and feeding and preparations and visiting will there be enough time? What if you say “yes, I’ll write a eulogy” only to find out that the pressure is too much and you can’t? How embarrassing…
The Issues to Consider When Deciding Whether to Write a Eulogy for Your Father
Time. This is a very important consideration. How long do you have between NOW and the funeral or memorial service? Writing a eulogy will take the average person about four hours. If you want to broaden the scope and include memories and stories from family members, those interviews will take an additional two or three hours. You will need to have seven or eight hours of preparation time if everything goes smoothly.
Do you know enough about the deceased to write a thousand word tribute? There is often a psychological defense mechanism that takes over when a person has lost a loved one such that many of the most intimate memories become obscured – so we don’t hurt so much emotionally. That’s a good thing unless you need to come up with a number of great stories. If you are one for whom those memories come in abundance, you are the person for the job… If you aren’t, then you will need to pry those memories out of other family members and organize them and tell them in an interesting way.
Are you OK with Public Speaking – Giving a Funeral Speech? For some people, there is nothing quite so terrifying as public speaking. Giving a eulogy for a father or a eulogy for a brother – a eulogy for a sister – or even eulogizing an uncle or aunt in front of mostly strangers is a highly stressful endeavor. But if you are comfortable with getting up in front of people and delivering a eulogy, you should, by all means, present the eulogy.
Are your writing skills up to snuff? If you are a good writer and have the ability to put thing into a logical and flowing order such that people find the life story of their loved one interesting, great. If not, you may want to pass the writing a tribute speech task to someone else. However, even if you do, that doesn’t mean you can’t present the eulogy. It is not uncommon for one person to write and another to present the funeral speech.
Writing is one of the most therapeutic activities on earth. If you are in grief, writing a eulogy or writing a funeral speech – writing a tribute to the one you have loved and lost – is an excellent activity. It will help you deal with your grief more than just about anything else.
TIME is of essence. It is an honor to be asked to speak at the funeral or memorial service of someone you love. Now you’ve counted the cost and decided whether you can or not. It’s time to tell the person who asked you – “Yes, Aunt Helen, I would be honored to eulogize my father,” or “No. I just couldn’t. I’d love to, but I don’t think I have the skills nor the emotional calmness to be able to do it adequately. I do SO appreciate being asked…”
A Helpful Hint: There are people who can and will help you. The staff at TheEulogyWriters.com will write you an awesome eulogy and have it to you by tomorrow at this time. Professional eulogy writers are difficult to find, but you’ve stumbled upon the best in the industry.
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