Grief is hard work. It wears on the emotions and the spirit and on the body. Sometimes it lasts for a very long time and it is important that you take care of yourself when in grief. Following is a brief guide that will give some guidance in just how to do self-care while feeling the sharpness of loss.
Acknowledge your feelings
It is normal to experience anger, despair and an overwhelming sense of loss and/or emptiness when you are grieving. It is also normal to experience all of these emotions at the same time. It's important that you acknowledge your emotions. Some people need to talk, some people need to write, some people need to journal, and some people need to express their feelings through actions or through art. It's all healthy and necessary. Listen to your body It is important to remember that you cannot possibly be emotionally present while your body is not. Grief has its own schedule, and it is important to listen to it and follow its cues. Feelings of grief may manifest physically, such as headaches, nausea, dizziness, or exhaustion.
Take time for yourself
For me, the hardest part of grief is going from work to working on the house, from house to grocery store. When you are grieving, you need to take time for yourself. It is also important to take care of others when you are in grief. You may not feel like you have the energy to do something for someone else, but please do. They need your support more than they realize and helping someone else helps yourself more than YOU realize.
Prepare for stress and triggers
The first thing to do when you are grieving is to prepare yourself. Prepare for the triggers. This may mean getting ready for them before they hit you. You will feel stressed and sad before you even realize you are going to and it will be tough to feel better. Learn to recognize the trigger to your stress and give yourself a quiet and peaceful space to be in. It is possible to feel sad for what you have lost and depressed and stressed and to feel lonely and isolated too. As much as possible, take a time out for yourself to collect yourself before you start your day or you will find yourself distracted and feeling the emptiness of your missing loved one throughout. Take a deep breath One of the most important things you can do to prepare for your triggers is to take a deep, long, cleansing breath.
Fight back with self-care
You need to fight back with self-care. You have to beat back the negative feelings of grief. You are not alone in this. We are all here to help each other get through our grief. Sometimes it feels like we are on an endless quest for meaning and purpose in our lives, and it can feel like we are being left behind. That is not the case. As I said, grief and loss are hard. The pain will be there until we get through it. Some people reach the point of saying "Enough is enough" and they want to stop grieving. That is a good choice, but it is also not wise. You need to fight for your grief. You need to face it, and you need to stay present in it. When you start to feel so upset that you think you can't go on, pull out your journal or a favorite book and read or write.
Be kind to yourself
Allow yourself to be gentle, soothed, and responsive to grief. It is OK for you to be with your sadness and it is not a sign of weakness. You are being kind to yourself. Grief is not something you choose to experience. It is not something that happens to you, but rather a side-effect of your own life journey. The ability to acknowledge grief is not an indication that you are a "bad person." Taking time to be with your own feelings is a sign of a true human being. The ability to surrender to your own feelings and desires is a sign of maturity and emotional self-care. Take time to let your sadness subside, but don't try to suppress the urge to give into it.
Seek out support
Find an emotional support group or seek out a grief counselor. If you're seeking support from family and friends, let them know your needs. Grief is a shared experience and there is power in being able to express what you are feeling to someone. You don't have to "be strong" or push people away. We have lost so much with our grief; it is ok to feel. Give yourself permission to cry Not everyone wants to hear you talk about it, but talking about it helps move you through the grief. Grief is a process and it is important that you allow yourself to be there. Crying helps release all the emotions you're feeling and there are no rules about when you should cry. Crying about the loss of your father can be just as cathartic as crying when you lost your mother.
Grief is a difficult journey, but through the good and bad times it brings us closer to the person we lost. Hopefully, as you find peace with their passing and the changes that come after, you can continue to heal and continue to embrace life as a bereaved family.
Locating a true luxury nursing home is a real challenge, but they ARE out there. Nevertheless, most people will not have access to one, no matter how much money they have.
Introducing a luxury nursing home
Your loved one can live in a beautiful location and receive luxurious treatment. These homes offer individualized care to each patient and are staffed with professional caregivers who will cater to their needs and your entire family's as well. Here's the way it works
The best nursing homes employ dedicated nursing staff and people with experience in caring for seniors and their families. It's no easy task, but these people are the heart and soul of the facilities they work at. As a family member, it is your responsibility to communicate directly with each nursing home. Make sure you visit them regularly, ask any questions, and find out exactly how the facility is running. For example, do they have an openings? Do the staff treat residents well?
What makes a luxury nursing home
It is important to understand that the term “luxury nursing home” means very different things to different people. Some people want a luxurious nursing home for its relaxing environment and skilled nurses. Others will be interested in a more comfortable nursing home because they are paying for the care of their loved one, as opposed to the care provided by the nurses. Other elderly people will want to spend their final years in a luxurious nursing home because they want the chance to live a last wish or a hobby. However, the chances of finding a nursing home for your loved one in your area that fits all of these criteria are extremely limited. It’s a struggle to even find nursing homes that have an open admittance policy.
Tips for locating a luxury nursing home
If you find yourself with a loved one who requires extensive medical care, or who is facing certain end-of-life issues, there are several things you need to keep in mind: Lack of skilled nursing staff at the retirement home. This can be a definite red flag if you encounter many complaints about this issue. Th A common misconception is that luxury nursing homes are luxurious. That is certainly not the case. It is generally thought that they are luxurious homes for residents. However, for the most part, luxury nursing homes have the necessities of any other nursing home and then a few more.
How to prepare your loved one
There are multiple steps that need to be taken before sending your elderly loved one to a luxury nursing home. By taking the time to lay out a list of tasks and solutions to overcome the hardship, you can ensure that your loved one will receive the best care. Do the research. Preparing the list of tasks will give you a head start on the search for a nursing home.
The Dos and Don’ts of Moving to a Luxury Nursing Home
It is often said that there are two types of quality nursing homes: the first is small and the second is large. The first usually only allows residents with an income of $2,000 or less. The second only accepts residents with an income of at least $12,000. It is no secret that a lot of people do not meet the higher threshold. To access this type of nursing home, you often need to be a college graduate, having had a high paying job in your working years. A Small Nursing Home has limited options, but still has to meet state and federal requirements for administering care. On the other hand, a small luxury nursing home will provide the care and attention that many people desire in a private facility.
It is absolutely essential that your loved one is able to live in comfort and in a very clean environment. There are many different things that can contribute to a good quality of life. And that is why it is imperative that you do all that you can to help.
There are enough senior food delivery services available today that it is sometimes difficult to determine which is best. This article seeks to blow away some of the fog and list those widely available.
Seniors Eat Well
Thrive Daily Meals on Wheels America MealSquares Seniors to Go Pillsbury Dine in Seniors Community Meals Home Instead Senior Care More about your meal: This one can be particularly helpful when evaluating any service. Meals on Wheels America clearly offers meal planning and delivery for seniors. All we have to do is schedule a delivery date, and two days later we’re in business. The cost of meals on wheels for a week comes to $60, which comes to about $12 per meal. Conversely, Meals on Wheels America was not able to deliver meals to our house on the day we requested a delivery. Instead of using the high cost of meal delivery, it is best to go with a service that delivers three or four meals a week, so you can count on receiving a meal you know you’ll like.
Perhaps the first company on the list, HelloFresh, claims to be the number one cooking robot company in the world. Hello Fresh promises to cook, package and deliver meals, which it does, on demand, with your groceries. Orders are normally delivered to customers' doors on a weekly basis. They offer 4 different programs – starters, dinners, salads and treats. Meals generally cost around $10 each. At present, customers have the choice between a $10 one-time discount, a 3-month subscription for $140 or an annual subscription for $200. If customers choose the annual subscription, Hello Fresh will offer up to 50% off during the holiday season.
Blue Apron has become the darling of the online grocery business. The "in-home" meal delivery program, offered in partnership with both grocery stores and local restaurateurs, has seen tremendous growth. In the first quarter of 2018, Blue Apron had a huge improvement in its earnings. The company's earnings per share, when compared to the first quarter of 2017, increased by 87 percent, and its revenue by 36 percent. Blue Apron's meal kits are not only delicious, but also proven to be as good as or better than other choices out there. Several food industry professionals claim that Blue Apron's customers are usually the same ones who use prepared meals at their favorite restaurants. This may be true as far as delivery is concerned, but perhaps not so much in quality and taste.
Couples Discount Eatsa Home Chef Freshii Fresh Order Heartland Nutrition I’m Hungry Meals Mediterraneo Bistro Plated is the best choice if you have a busy schedule, a very restricted budget or do not want a “full” service. The company’s one-box-per-week option provides approximately 400 calories per meal with approximately 20% of calories from fat, 5% of calories from saturated fat and 2% of calories from trans fat. To prepare this “meal,” all the ingredients are pre-measured in full and half portions and all you need to do is add water and heat. It costs $9.95 per serving. A delicious, fresh, gluten-free and nut free chicken, roasted in our premium produce or fish marinade, with vegetables and two sides. ➡️️🍴 pic.twitter.
This has been one of the fastest growing companies in the industry and in the review above we see a clear difference between it and the other big players. The home meal delivery is not a commodity but a luxury. Here, with an order size of around 4 – 6 servings, the items are selected by the home chef but then shipped to you. The cost is $8.00 for delivery with an additional $2.00 for each delivery. They do not offer free delivery. The customer chooses the ingredients that he or she will be using but the home chef will make the meal based on the order. You need to order more meals if you are feeding more than a household of 4. Orbit Delivery Service This is one of the most well-known options and for good reason. Orbit delivers food that is prepared by top restaurants.
Salada Foods is probably the most well known in the US. Their delivery options include frozen meals, frozen entrées, frozen desserts, soup, and various hot entrees, including beef stew, chicken enchiladas, and beef and beef medallions. Their selection of non-frozen entrées range from hot to mild to seafood and vegetables. Many Salada meals include fruit or vegetables in the entrée along with the meal. The current average delivery cost is $5.49 for a cold dinner. To make a special meal delivery a group activity, Salada offers pre-dinner drinks as well. Good to Know: Salada also allows each family to add a 2nd or 3rd adult, and can host up to 4 people for dinner. Salada Foods has a tiered charge structure. Currently a family of four pays about $24.
Sun Basket (Vegan)
Price: $9.99 per serving Couples: two meals for 2.00 each. Two-person size for $9.99 and two-person size for $11.99 each. For up to four people the price for two meals will be $14.99. Delivery: varies by location. Most common ingredients: whole grains, beans, nuts, vegetables, herbs, eggs. Awards/recognitions: Sun Basket has won the Good Food Award for three years in a row. Flavor Profile: Refined Cost Comparisons: This article compares the price for one person and the cost for two meals, which will provide two meals for two weeks. Also included is the cost to have these meals delivered if the customer prefers to have it delivered.
This company, which has existed in some form since 2008, is based in America and is a food delivery service, along with the exception of Veestro Food Express, which caters to student nutrition needs. It is available for both home-delivery and the senior meal delivery. The service works with both part-time and full-time caregivers and prepares the food in advance. They have options for healthy and deli food as well as prepared meals, including turkey, roasted veggies, and appetizers. Delivery is free but if you purchase multiple meals you will pay $9.95 per meal. They offer packages as well as options for packing meals in reusable packaging. Harvest Now Harvest Now is a provider of many different food delivery services including those for senior citizens.
The Silver Palate (Vegan)
Who is this company? Food for those aged 60 and older. What does this company do? SilverPalate is a traditional American cuisine for those aged 60 and older using fresh herbs, spices and flavor combinations. Everything is fresh and portion-controlled. How much does it cost? $129 per month How does it work? The free version allows two meals a week with the choice of two entrees each, a side salad, a cup of soup, and a dessert. The paid version allows three meals a week, an entrée and two sides each, a soup and a dessert. What are the benefits? There is no deprivation. The meals are delivered fresh with the choice of two entrees each, a side salad, a cup of soup, and a dessert.
This is a small private company in Florida that delivers all meals, home-cooked meals (generally for 2-5 people), freshly prepared, to homes. There are no menus to order from, as MobiMeal personalizes each meal to your unique needs based on your gender, age, dietary requirements, and particular taste. This is the only service that my brother recommended, although it is no longer active. The amounts of each meal are limited to ensure a more nutritious and nutritious meal that MobiMeal may charge an additional fee. Family Meals Family Meals is a privately owned and operated company that offers home-cooked meals, such as veggie lasagna, pizza, sandwiches, pastas, soups, and sandwiches. Each meal is delivered weekly in plastic containers, so you don’t have to worry about keeping it fresh.
Sibling fights, arguments, and disagreements can be minor and temporary or they can escalate into legal battles over care, guardianship, estates, and wills. This doesn't have to be the way it is. Siblings can get along and agree. This article gives seven clues for making that happen.
Understand the different needs of your siblings
You may be surprised to learn that the majority of adult children of aging parents are the primary caregivers, that siblings are taking on more of the day to day responsibilities of their aging parents. The range of care is wide, including being the primary caregiver and taking care of their parents and themselves, even dividing up the time equally. This doesn't mean that everyone is expected to jump in and do everything, but it does mean that everyone needs to learn to work together. Consider that many siblings have some legitimate concerns. They want to be sure that they have a voice in decisions that affect the care of their parents, even if the care is strictly financial. They need to feel a sense of ownership in their aging parents' care.
Avoid fighting over big decisions
When is the right time to draw up powers of attorney? Should you share your parents' assets? Do you have a preference about who should help take care of your parents? Siblings should discuss these issues ahead of time. If a sibling wants to take over caring for your parent, the two siblings must agree. If your sibling says they are happy where they are in life and not to care for your parent, then the parents are better off if they are cared for in a professional facility. Be willing to compromise on minor disagreements Even if you and your sibling are at odds over the biggest issues, don't let minor ones become a source of ongoing conflicts. For example, both of you may think that your mom needs round-the-clock care.
Take care of yourself so you can take care of them
Take care of yourself first, to take care of them. If that means slowing down or focusing on you, then slow down or change your focus. Make your boundaries clear. Allow them to make their own decisions but offer your sage counsel and support when it is needed. Tell them, gently, when you need them to step out of the way and let you take care of your parents. Sibling fighting, fights, and disagreements over aging parents can be minor and temporary or they can escalate into legal battles over care, guardianship, estates, and wills. This doesn't have to be the way it is. Siblings can get along and agree. This article gives seven clues for making that happen.
Give your siblings a voice in decision-making
A case in point: One of my brothers and I fought over who would have custody of our parents. My brother was in charge of our parents when we were teenagers, and I had no idea that she was drinking and had her own complicated finances. I couldn't keep up. It was irresponsible to leave our parents to her care. I won custody. My brother grew up in the same house and shared many things as kids, but our parents did not share nearly as much. This was the reason for the tension. But this happened many times over the years, and we'd continue fighting even after we got along. It took my brother and me some convincing, and many months, to create a new plan for our parents' care. And the deal we made? Neither of us would try to make the decisions without the other.
Create a neutral space for conversations
Sibling fights usually escalate when both of them are under emotional or stressors that they are unable to resolve on their own. (The Office on Aging at the University of Michigan has a helpful guide for older siblings navigating a complicated family situation.) If both siblings are in conflict over care for their aging parent, for example, when neither one has the mental or emotional capacity to resolve it, it may be necessary to seek professional help. If one sibling has legal representation and both do not, this may be possible to mediate between them by having a neutral third party involved. Find a better place to resolve disagreements Both of you may be at different stages of a stressful or complex situation.
Communicate about difficult topics
In the home, families may worry that mentioning difficult subjects will spoil the Christmas or Thanksgiving meal. After all, the children may have decided that they hate their elderly parent, and the grandparents and children may have not come to any agreement. But the key is not to hold it in. Try to bring up difficult issues every once in a while. Imagine you have decided to end all medical interventions and you ask your family, "What should we do for my father?" You can then talk about the pros and cons of one plan. Cultivate trust Just as it's important to bring up difficult subjects, it's important to recognize that family members have concerns too. When family members get emotional about a certain issue, many of them mask it.
Make compromises to avoid conflict
As a direct heir, it's hard to understand that other siblings might not necessarily want the inheritance or to continue living in the same home as their aging parents. The same is true when parents start to need more of their time, care, and finances. If you feel that you have to choose one of your parents for any of these reasons, you might have more than just a tough conversation to have. You may want to talk to your siblings about a more business-like arrangement and agree to the specific terms that are important to each of you. Divide and conquer Sometimes siblings have to choose sides or roles in a family conflict.
Everyone encounters tragedy in their lives from time to time. It may be the death of a loved one or a financial reversal or even a divorce. Following are few ways of coping with the tragedies that come your way.
Know that everyone has to cope with tragedy
We all have lost someone close to us at some point in time and have been forced to cope with the grief in different ways. Remember that no one deals with grief in the same way. So if you try to put your own grief in the background and assume that you are in a better place to face the grief than others, it may prove to be a mistake. Begin writing about your loss When a relationship ends, people tend to cry and share their feelings but few share the intense feelings in written words. Writing about the loss of your relationship can bring closure in your mind and can be therapeutic as well. Discuss the loss with loved ones You may want to write down everything that has gone wrong in the relationship and start analyzing it.
Accept that you cannot control everything
It’s human nature to wonder how you could have caused it. How you could have prevented the loss of your loved one? But acceptance is a process that can be started even in the event of a tragedy that may have happened to you. Accepting that you can’t keep what is yours does not negate the fact that you still grieve and miss your loved one. It does help in dealing with the loss better. Take steps to cope with your grief You may want to avoid facing the reality as you try to control the situation. It might be tempting to wallow in the pain, but try not to allow this to happen. Get help to avoid or relieve yourself from self-induced suffering. You can get help for grief counseling, grief support, grief therapy, etc. from churches, hospitals, and even from your bank or financial institutions.
Find a healthy outlet for your feelings
You may never recover from your loss but it will subside with time. Focus on the good times in your life. Use what you have learned in the aftermath of the tragedy to help others. If you have young children, consider reaching out to family and friends who have kids for advice and tips. Get your life in order Are you working overtime to pay your bills? Ask for more time and you may be surprised by the outcome. Be more mindful of spending habits and pay for each thing you buy. Re-evaluate your goals If you have been trying to accomplish everything from home improvement to weight loss to your health, give yourself a break. Work on one or two goals at a time. Re-define your priorities What are you doing with your life? Are you spending your time in a positive way?
Take care of yourself
Whatever the loss or tragedy is, you should try to take care of yourself and follow your body's guidance. Feeling helpless after you have lost a loved one is hard to deal with and if you tend to take care of everyone else and take care of yourself you will be able to move on. Get some time out of the house You need some time to just get away from all the negativity and negativity that accompanies a tragedy. It is okay to just go for a long drive, a walk by the beach, visit your family or even take a relaxing nap. Even something as simple as drinking a cup of tea or coffee and watching a movie is important to keeping your spirits up. Realize there are better days to come Life is not fair and everyone gets the bad things that happen to them in life.
Don't compare yourself to other people
Try and remember that you were not raised in the same circumstances and that you have chosen your own path. You should not compare yourself to others and instead concentrate on your own journey. Create new goals and priorities Focus on your own goals and let go of any thinking about what others may be doing. You do not have to wait for others to give you permission to pursue your goals. Just go for it! Ask for help Life can throw some really big curveballs at you from time to time. You should never be ashamed of reaching out for help. Reach out to your close friends and family or even seek professional counseling.
Talk about your loss and feel the pain of grief
As much as it may be uncomfortable, take the risk of talking about your loss and feel the pain of grief. Grief is very personal and in order to let it flow out, you need to have your emotions in the open. You can talk to your siblings, family, friends and even the neighbors. Do not tell others about it. They need to come to know it in their own time. Do not keep it to yourself. You are human and grief is normal. Ride the wave of your feelings Just allow yourself to be down. It is better that you do not numb yourself with food or alcohol. Pour your energy in nurturing your children This is more important than ever today. Spend time with your children and nurture them. Do not push them away. Provide them with constant attention. Do not force them to do anything. They have feelings too.
Find spiritual support
If you are an atheist, you may turn to one of the many online forums that caters to people from all walks of life and religion. A popular forum that you can turn to for support is God Help me I Need a Hero. Another good source of spiritual support is God Rest in Peace. Find supportive friends You may wish to keep your own feelings to yourself and only rely on friends to support you emotionally. At a time like this, when you want to shut the world out and bury your pain, talking to friends who understand the circumstances may be comforting. Get adequate sleep Fatigue is a common effect of trauma. Sleep deprivation may be a reaction to the stress of the tragedy, so make sure that you get enough rest and food.
Seek comfort from friends and family
Sometimes we don't even know what we need, so do seek the advice of your family and friends to find the answers. Drink your heart out Always have a drink of alcohol to soothe your system, even if it's only one drink. Eat chocolate Chocolate is a great food source of theobromine. It is also known to boost the levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which is associated with feeling good. Eat some dark chocolate and take deep breaths for a few minutes. Take some time out Trying to rush through things can actually make the situation worse. Instead, take time out to really think and assess how you feel. You will then know what needs to be done.
Attend religious services, pray, or meditate
Scripture tells us that God cares for us and He doesn't always involve us in the details of His plan. He does however, try to make it easy on us by preparing us for what is ahead. Pray, listen to inspirational music, or if you are a spiritual person, do your best to meditate on your life purpose. The two most popular meditation methods are guided visualization and Qigong meditation. A guided visualization requires you to envision what you want out of life, a specific way you want to achieve your goal, and how you will achieve it. Qigong meditation requires you to move in rhythm with your breath, stimulating blood circulation and eliciting a trance-like state.
Re-establish ties with friends and family who may have drifted away
As we grow older, we build an outer shell that allows us to successfully deal with the trials and tribulations that come our way. It is hard to remain connected to those who were once close to us when the barrier that has kept us apart has suddenly disappeared. Most often when people lose someone dear to them, they seek the comfort of others. Associate yourself with people who are similar to you One of the ways of helping you deal with a loss is by being around people who share similar traits and characteristics with the person who has passed away. A feeling of security, love and belonging is what they would have given you. Gain a new perspective on life You must recognize that there is no reason to give up your life and you have a better life waiting for you.
Steve Schafer is the founder of TheEulogyWriters and is probably the most prolific eulogy writer (and, no doubt, the best) anywhere. He lives in Michigan and has been writing eulogies for well over thirty years. The articles in this blog are designed to help people through the process of losing loved ones.
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