Choosing Cremation

Choosing Cremation is an excellent and ever more popular option.

What You Need to Know

Cremation is the disposition of a body through the use of intense heat – fire. It usually takes from two to four hours for the body to be completely decomposed into a fine, sand-like consistency. These ‘ashes’ are typically spread in some meaningful place or placed in an urn for keeping or burying. 
Cremation Does Not Mean You Can’t Have a Funeral ServiceWhile it certainly is often the case that cremation means there is no funeral (what funeral homes call ‘immediate disposition’) the is not always the case. In fact, more and more frequently, there is a formal service of memorial held either before or after the cremation. Often families want to have a service but the crematoria won’t have completed their job by the time a memorial service has been planed for. In these cases, a photo is typically displayed in place of a casket or urn.  Cremation is, by no means, a substitute for a funeral or a memorial service or a celebration of life.

• Traditional Funeral Service:  Tradition is important. Rites of passage and closure are important. Havin a service, even though there is no body (or even an urn) is important for friends and family. Often, there is visitation (a wake) and a traditional service in the same way as there would be if there were a body in a casket present. In fact, some people prefer to actually have the body present for the visitation and funeral, with cremation following. This, of course, is more expensive, since a casket of some type is still needed (even though it may be a disposable one). Nevertheless, this is often the preference.
• Memorial Service:  If there is no body present – only a photo or an urn, the service is referred to as a ‘memorial service.’ This service, often held on a lakeshore or other favorite location, often incorporates the scattering of ashes (although not always – often the scattering is a separate occasion with immediate family only
• Celebration of Life:  This type of ceremony is a much less formal affair than a memorial service, with everyone invited to take part and to share stories with one another.  It’s for people who don’t want tears at their passing, only fond memories.  Like a memorial service, it is up to the family whether or not the deceased’s ashes are present, as well as whether or not the ash scattering or burial will be part of the ceremony.

The Pros of Cremation

• It’s Far Less Expensive:  No cemetery plot to purchase. No casket or embalming of the body. No ‘opening’ and ‘closing’ costs for the grave. No headstone or monument to install. No hearse to rent… On average, cremation is six times less expensive than ground burial – clearly the least expensive form of human internment. 

• TIME is not such a critical issue: When a body is present, time is an important issue. A body cannot be unburied indefinitely. Burial must happen with a week at most. Cremation allows families all the time they need in planning a ceremony, decreasing the stress factor significantly. This is especially helpful when family members live out of town or out of state. Everyone benefits… And, of course, putting a eulogy together is SO much easier without the crush of time. Eulogy help: TheEulogyWriters.com

• The ashes are easy to transport:  With cremation, the location of the memorial service or funeral doesn’t have to be local. It gives the family the opportunity to hold the service in a different part of the country or even overseas if so desired.

• Cremation is environmentally friendly: Land usage is always an issue. Hundreds of millions of graves take thousands upon thousands of square miles of land – and tie up that land forever. In addition, cremation uses no chemicals which may eventually leach into the soil.

• Cremation is sometimes psychologically easier:  The thought of a body ‘rotting’ is often an unpleasant thought. Claustrophobics can’t imagine being enclosed in a casket and being buried under a mound of dirt.

• Cremation offers far more memorial options:  You can, if so desired, completely eliminate the cemetery. You can consider burying the ashes in a family cemetery plot Or  storing the ashes in a columbaria. OR you can scatter the ashes in an outdoor location – a lake or river, a mountain vista, a park, under a special tree. And, if you want, you can even have some of the ashes made into jewelry to wear. ALSO – there is no reason ashes can’t be scattered in several locations that have special meaning to the family or are just nearby everyone wherever they may reside.

The Downside – there always is at least one

• Cremation requires a specially constructed furnace and these are not available everywhere: small and rural communities may not have cremation facilities. Transporting the body to one in a city or neighboring community will incur a cost.
• Religious Prohibition:  Cremation is not permitted in some religious faiths. Orthodox Judaism; Islam; and Greek Orthodox do not allow cremation for their members.  Roman Catholicism forbade cremation until Vatican II in 1960.  If you are religious and are uncertain whether or not cremation is acceptable, check with a spiritual leader.

• Familial Agreement Can Be an Issue:  Not everyone is a fan of cremation. Death of a loved one shouldn’t be a time for family disunity but it often is. Those in favor of cremation need to be aware that, because it is not terribly common, some family members may not be comfortable with it. There may also be disagreement as to who will be the caretaker of the ashes and the urn if they are not to be buried or scattered. Decisions made can cause rifts in families forever. Tread lightly, please.

• Environmental Issues: Even though there is no cemetery plot involved, the crematon process does require extensive usage of fossil fuel, which always increases carbon dioxide emission.  The process also produces mercury, which is released into the atmosphere.

• Eliminates any possible inquiry into the cause of death:  A buried body, even after years in the ground, can be exhumed if necessary.  With cremation that is, obviously, impossible.

• Cannot Identify Misplaced Ashes:  All ashes are identical. If urns or somehow confused, there is no way of telling which one is which loved one. This can be a very emotion laden issue.

• No Permanent Memorial:  One of the most significant downsides of scattering ashes is that there isn’t a permanent memorial or location where family members and friends can visit to pay respects. Many people find comfort in being able to visit a graveside location. Scattering ashes on family grounds may create emotional distress when the time comes to sell the property.  In addition, the location of scattered ashes may (and probably will) be forgotten by future generations (burying the urn alleviates this concern).

The Cost of Cremation

The Cremation Research Council says that, currently, the average cost of cremation is $1,100. 

Check with the funeral director to find out what all is included in cremation fees. That $1100 usually doesn’t include any type of funeral or memorial service… only the cremation.

Be aware that there are some “fly-by-night” cremation operations out there. Be sure you are  using a reputable cremation service.

Choosing a Cremation ProviderMost funeral homes (even ones that offer cremation services) do not actually own their own crematoriums. They send the bodies out for the service.

Begin your search for a cremation service provider by:

• Online Research:  Do a search for cremation providers in the area with a simple Internet search. Take a look at reviews and comments posted by previous customers. Read the responses to reviews that are left by the funeral home owners.

• Ask people you know:  Ask family members, friends, neighbors, work colleagues, and church members if they have used cremation services and where they would recommend and, more importantly, where they would NOT recommend. 

• Contact Government Offices:  Each State has a governmental agency that is responsible for the licensing and regulation of crematoriums and cremation providers.  Call them or  visit their website, and ask about any complaints that have been filed. 
• Visit the crematoria. While Internet research is helpful, there is no substitute for visiting the cremation provider in person.  Tour the facility (you will find it fascinating). Speak with the staff to make  yourself comfortable with their explanations of their services and fees

• Ask About Pricing:  The crematoria director should give you a price list that clearly states all services that they provide, along with the cost and sales tax.

• The crematoria should be licensed and be able to provide certification:  Find out which associations the company belongs to and what code of ethics they adhere to. Also ask about recent governmental inspections. 

• Insurance:  Determine what kind of liability insurance the company carried. If the funeral home is not the owner, determine whether the funeral home’s insurance covers the crematorium, covering mistakes or negligence.
• Cremation Facilities:  You may or may not want to visit the cremation facility (it can be disturbing to some people). Do they have refrigeration at the facility for work waiting to be performed?

• Tracking Porcedures:  Cremation is final.  Once it has been done, it is impossible to correctly identify your loved one’s ashes if there is not an adequate body-tracking procedures.  You have the right to see the provider’s policy and procedures manual. You will want to determine how your loved one will be treated; what body tracking procedures are used, and who identifies the body before the cremation begins  (A family member often is allowed to formally identify the body to ensure that there isn’t a mix-up.)

• Return of Ashes:  Ask about the length of time before the ashes are available for pick up or delivery – and what happens to the ashes if there is a delay in picking them up – what does the crematorium do with ‘unclaimed’ ashes?

• Witnessing the Cremation:  It may not be desirable, but sometimes families want to be present during the disposition of the body. Ask whether this is an option. Sometimes doing so helps people establish closure (be warned: seeing a loved one’s body go into the furnace and hearing the roar of the gasses and flames can be a disturbing experience).

• References:  You may want to see references if the crematoria has not already been recommended by people you know and trust.

All documents you request should be easily available. Transparency is of utmost importance. If you are not permitted to see a full price list; operating license; certificate of insurance; policy and procedures manual, that is a red flag. Find another provider.

Regardless of price, the most important thing is that you want a cremation provider that will treat the body of your loved one with utmost dignity and will act in a professional and compassionate manner throughout.

With Cremation, Do We Need a Casket?

It depends…

If cremation is after a period of viewing or after a traditional funeral or memorial service, yes. However, usually such caskets are of light weight, disposable material so the cost is reasonable. Some funeral homes will even ‘rent’ you a traditional casket (this will often depend on state and local laws regulating the reuse of a casket).
A rental casket is a casket that looks like any other casket, but has a removable interior, which is a simple wooden box, making it reusable. The body is fully contained within the interior box, which is easily removed after the funeral.  The body is then cremated in this box. Since the deceased never came into contact with the outer casing of the casket, the funeral home can re-use the casket by inserting a new removable interior (again, according to state and local rules).

If cremation happens before the funeral, the family will still have to purchase a consumable casket. The law requires that a body be enclosed in a container during the cremation process to protect the health and safety of the crematorium workers.
Prices and quality of caskets starts at the bottom with a no-frills cardboard box (also referred to as an “alternative container”), and goes all the way up to premium caskets that are also used in traditional burials.  Some crematoriums will include the alternative container in their standard fee. Since it will all be consumed anyway, we recommend the ‘alternative container.’

Even if you choose to use a more traditional casket, most crematoriums will only accept caskets that are fully combustible, with no metal parts. Solid wood caskets work best, as are cloth-covered wood caskets and wood veneer caskets.  Most “green” caskets are also ideal. Whatever is ‘fully combustible’ will work.
 
Dealing with the Ashes
After the cremation, the family is given the ‘cremains’ (the person’s cremated remains).  The cremains are commonly referred to as “ashes”.

Popular Options:

Scattering
When people who choose cremation, nearly half request that their families scatter their ashes after they have passed. This is often done in rivers, ponds, golf courses, gardens, flower beds, at a lake or sea, or a location that is personally significant to the deceased and his or her family.  However, it is important to inquire if your local laws permit the scattering of ashes.

Burial
Burying cremains in an more traditional option.  The urn can be buried in a cemetery plot or an urn garden or in the back yard. 
Burial within the cemetery is usually marked with a grave marker, making the site a permanent memorial.  Some family members may find solace in being able to visit and care for the burial site.

Columbarium
A columbarium is an above-ground building that houses cremation urns.  Inside the building, the walls have “niches” (or a small opening in the wall) that can hold a single cremation urn.  Once the urn containing the cremains has been interred in the columbarium, a bronze plaque is placed on the outside of the niche.  The plaque is a permanent record of who is inside the niche.
As with burial, some families find it comforting to be able to visit the place where their loved one has been laid to rest.

At Home
Some people prefer to keep the ashes of their loved one at home, either in an urn on display, or in a simple urn kept in a private place within the house, or buried in the garden.
Memorial Tree

A memorial tree is a beautiful tribute to someone’s life and legacy. It is also a gift to future generations.  In addition, symbolizes the circle of life, and our return to nature after our death.
When memorial trees are planted on a family’s private property, the ashes can be sprinkled around the base of the tree or buried under the tree. 
Some also install a simple bronze plague at the base of the tree that displays their loved one’s name, date of birth and date of death, along with a personal message or quote.