Why people feel guilty about using effort-saving products when taking care of loved ones.
Society perpetuates the idea that caring for elderly relatives is a selfless act. If you’re lucky enough to have parents or other older adults in your life, then it’s your duty to look after them. And when we think of ‘taking care of them’, what comes to mind are things like cleaning, cooking and other chores. We seldom consider that there are more convenient alternatives to scrubbing the floor on hands and knees. We also don’t tend to think about using products that make their lives easier – things like automatic doors and lighting, self-cleaning ovens, dishwashers, speaker phones, etc… You see where this is going? Society has placed so many limitations on what it means to care for someone that it’s no wonder so many people feel guilty when they buy these kinds of effort-saving products.
Why It Feels Guilty to Use Convenience Products When Taking Care of Loved Ones
Depending on the relationships in your life, you may have a difficult time justifying the purchase of some products. People don’t want to feel as though they’re taking advantage of your generosity by accepting help that you’ve paid for. They might feel like you’re just trying to ‘save money’ by not having to do all the things you used to do for them.
Because You Don’t Want to Be Seen as a Coattail Rider
You might have a parent who really struggles with every day tasks – things like using a microwave or a computer. You might have tried to help them with these things, only to feel like a failure because you couldn’t help them figure out the technology that you’ve been using for years. You might have relatives who can’t drive anymore because they’ve lost the ability to focus and concentrate. You might have tried to help them get special driver’s licenses and failed because you just couldn’t get them to go through the process. You might have a parent who has a medical condition that limits their ability to do physical tasks that would otherwise be easy for you.
Because A Lot of people Think You Shouldn’t Use Tools That Save Time & Effort
There’s this idea floating around that is as old as time: that ‘taking advantage’ of modern technology and things like automated doors and self-cleaning ovens is lazy and immoral. If you can’t do these things yourself, then you shouldn’t be allowed to access these products. This is one of those toxic mentalities that has no place in 2022. The fact is that some people just physically can’t do certain things. If there are labor saving devices that help them (or us, the care giver) then they ought to be used to the max. We need to use our resources to make life easier?
Because These Products Are Often Incredibly Expensive
This is actually a really common misconception. The fact is that many effort-saving products can actually save you money in the long run – and most certainly save your personal energy.. Use what technology and invention has provided. Everything that makes the life of the care giver or the loved one easier is worth the cost.
Because Offering Help & Supplying Tools Isn’t Enough for You
Some people don’t feel like they’re doing enough for the people they love. They think that just offering help or supplying tools isn’t enough. They want to do the tasks for them. That’s a perfectly normal thing to do. It’s a great way to express love. Unfortunately, it can cause a lot of resentment and stress on both sides of the equation. The key is to find a balance between helping and doing things for the people in your life and letting them do things for themselves.
If you’re having trouble justifying the purchase of effort-saving products, remember that they aren’t for lazy people. They are also for people who have been doing the same things for decades nonstop and need to consider if there’s a better way. If you’re taking care of older adults, you really don’t have to feel guilty about using effort-saving products. In fact, it’s a great way to show your loved ones that you care for them by making their lives a little easier.
Steve Schafer is the founder of TheEulogyWriters and is probably the most prolific eulogy writer (and, no doubt, the best) anywhere. He lives in Michigan and has been writing eulogies for well over thirty years. The articles in this blog are designed to help people through the process of losing loved ones.