Everyone encounters tragedy in their lives from time to time. It may be the death of a loved one or a financial reversal or even a divorce. Following are few ways of coping with the tragedies that come your way.
Know that everyone has to cope with tragedy
We all have lost someone close to us at some point in time and have been forced to cope with the grief in different ways. Remember that no one deals with grief in the same way. So if you try to put your own grief in the background and assume that you are in a better place to face the grief than others, it may prove to be a mistake. Begin writing about your loss When a relationship ends, people tend to cry and share their feelings but few share the intense feelings in written words. Writing about the loss of your relationship can bring closure in your mind and can be therapeutic as well. Discuss the loss with loved ones You may want to write down everything that has gone wrong in the relationship and start analyzing it.
Accept that you cannot control everything
It’s human nature to wonder how you could have caused it. How you could have prevented the loss of your loved one? But acceptance is a process that can be started even in the event of a tragedy that may have happened to you. Accepting that you can’t keep what is yours does not negate the fact that you still grieve and miss your loved one. It does help in dealing with the loss better. Take steps to cope with your grief You may want to avoid facing the reality as you try to control the situation. It might be tempting to wallow in the pain, but try not to allow this to happen. Get help to avoid or relieve yourself from self-induced suffering. You can get help for grief counseling, grief support, grief therapy, etc. from churches, hospitals, and even from your bank or financial institutions.
Find a healthy outlet for your feelings
You may never recover from your loss but it will subside with time. Focus on the good times in your life. Use what you have learned in the aftermath of the tragedy to help others. If you have young children, consider reaching out to family and friends who have kids for advice and tips. Get your life in order Are you working overtime to pay your bills? Ask for more time and you may be surprised by the outcome. Be more mindful of spending habits and pay for each thing you buy. Re-evaluate your goals If you have been trying to accomplish everything from home improvement to weight loss to your health, give yourself a break. Work on one or two goals at a time. Re-define your priorities What are you doing with your life? Are you spending your time in a positive way?
Take care of yourself
Whatever the loss or tragedy is, you should try to take care of yourself and follow your body's guidance. Feeling helpless after you have lost a loved one is hard to deal with and if you tend to take care of everyone else and take care of yourself you will be able to move on. Get some time out of the house You need some time to just get away from all the negativity and negativity that accompanies a tragedy. It is okay to just go for a long drive, a walk by the beach, visit your family or even take a relaxing nap. Even something as simple as drinking a cup of tea or coffee and watching a movie is important to keeping your spirits up. Realize there are better days to come Life is not fair and everyone gets the bad things that happen to them in life.
Don't compare yourself to other people
Try and remember that you were not raised in the same circumstances and that you have chosen your own path. You should not compare yourself to others and instead concentrate on your own journey. Create new goals and priorities Focus on your own goals and let go of any thinking about what others may be doing. You do not have to wait for others to give you permission to pursue your goals. Just go for it! Ask for help Life can throw some really big curveballs at you from time to time. You should never be ashamed of reaching out for help. Reach out to your close friends and family or even seek professional counseling.
Talk about your loss and feel the pain of grief
As much as it may be uncomfortable, take the risk of talking about your loss and feel the pain of grief. Grief is very personal and in order to let it flow out, you need to have your emotions in the open. You can talk to your siblings, family, friends and even the neighbors. Do not tell others about it. They need to come to know it in their own time. Do not keep it to yourself. You are human and grief is normal. Ride the wave of your feelings Just allow yourself to be down. It is better that you do not numb yourself with food or alcohol. Pour your energy in nurturing your children This is more important than ever today. Spend time with your children and nurture them. Do not push them away. Provide them with constant attention. Do not force them to do anything. They have feelings too.
Find spiritual support
If you are an atheist, you may turn to one of the many online forums that caters to people from all walks of life and religion. A popular forum that you can turn to for support is God Help me I Need a Hero. Another good source of spiritual support is God Rest in Peace. Find supportive friends You may wish to keep your own feelings to yourself and only rely on friends to support you emotionally. At a time like this, when you want to shut the world out and bury your pain, talking to friends who understand the circumstances may be comforting. Get adequate sleep Fatigue is a common effect of trauma. Sleep deprivation may be a reaction to the stress of the tragedy, so make sure that you get enough rest and food.
Seek comfort from friends and family
Sometimes we don't even know what we need, so do seek the advice of your family and friends to find the answers. Drink your heart out Always have a drink of alcohol to soothe your system, even if it's only one drink. Eat chocolate Chocolate is a great food source of theobromine. It is also known to boost the levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which is associated with feeling good. Eat some dark chocolate and take deep breaths for a few minutes. Take some time out Trying to rush through things can actually make the situation worse. Instead, take time out to really think and assess how you feel. You will then know what needs to be done.
Attend religious services, pray, or meditate
Scripture tells us that God cares for us and He doesn't always involve us in the details of His plan. He does however, try to make it easy on us by preparing us for what is ahead. Pray, listen to inspirational music, or if you are a spiritual person, do your best to meditate on your life purpose. The two most popular meditation methods are guided visualization and Qigong meditation. A guided visualization requires you to envision what you want out of life, a specific way you want to achieve your goal, and how you will achieve it. Qigong meditation requires you to move in rhythm with your breath, stimulating blood circulation and eliciting a trance-like state.
Re-establish ties with friends and family who may have drifted away
As we grow older, we build an outer shell that allows us to successfully deal with the trials and tribulations that come our way. It is hard to remain connected to those who were once close to us when the barrier that has kept us apart has suddenly disappeared. Most often when people lose someone dear to them, they seek the comfort of others. Associate yourself with people who are similar to you One of the ways of helping you deal with a loss is by being around people who share similar traits and characteristics with the person who has passed away. A feeling of security, love and belonging is what they would have given you. Gain a new perspective on life You must recognize that there is no reason to give up your life and you have a better life waiting for you.
Steve Schafer is the founder of TheEulogyWriters and is probably the most prolific eulogy writer (and, no doubt, the best) anywhere. He lives in Michigan and has been writing eulogies for well over thirty years. The articles in this blog are designed to help people through the process of losing loved ones.