It’s time to end the taboo of sex and intimacy in care homes
It’s a common misconception that care homes are dull places where romance and intimacy are frowned upon. But it’s time to break the stigma and outdated taboos surrounding sex and intimacy in care homes. Providing a safe space for care home residents to express their sexuality is an important part of providing holistic, person-centred care. Allowing individuals to express themselves sexually and engage in intimate activities can help to reduce feelings of isolation, depression, and anxiety that can be common in care homes. It is essential that care homes create an environment in which sex and intimacy are not only accepted but are supported and encouraged. It’s time to end the taboo of sex and intimacy in care homes.
The stigma around sex and intimacy in care homes
Sex in care homes is something that’s rarely talked about, yet it’s a very real issue that affects thousands of people each year. Research shows that almost a third of people aged over 65 have sex at least once a month, and more than half of people in care homes have sex at least once a month. But the stigma surrounding sex and intimacy in care homes means that many people don’t feel able to talk about how they are feeling. A YouGov survey found that almost half of people in care homes felt that their sexuality had been ignored or shunned by care home staff. And a third felt as though staff had tried to persuade them to stop having sex. The stigma surrounding sex and intimacy has far-reaching consequences for care home residents and the people who work in care homes. It can prevent people from seeking help if they feel as though they’re not able to discuss their sexual needs. It can also negatively impact staff morale if they are unable to discuss these issues with management.
The importance of providing a safe, accepting space for care home residents
Sexual health and wellbeing are important aspects of health and social care, and it is important to promote a safe, accepting environment that allows people to feel confident enough to talk about their sexual needs and desires. An environment that supports exploration of sexual activity can help to improve the wellbeing of residents and reduce feelings of isolation. Sexual expression is an important part of human experience, and it is important that care home staff don’t try to stifle or silence it. Research shows that people who feel they can express their sexuality feel less anxious, less depressed, and less lonely. It can also help people to improve their mental health, as it is associated with producing a hormone called oxytocin, which is known to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. It’s important that staff don’t conflate sexual expression with sex. The former is about exploring and talking about sexuality, while the latter is about the actual act of sexual intercourse. There is a difference between the two, and it is important that staff are able to understand the difference between the two.
The benefits of allowing care home residents to express their sexuality
Allowing residents to express their sexuality can have a number of benefits, including reducing feelings of anxiety and loneliness, improving mental health, and helping to strengthen social connections. There is also evidence that sexual activity can reduce the risk of developing conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s. Sexual expression doesn’t necessarily have to involve intercourse either. It can involve other intimacy-focused activities, such as masturbation, cuddling, sensual massage, and non-sexual intimacy, like holding hands or giving someone a foot massage. Sexual expression can take many different forms, so it’s important that care homes don’t impose their own definition of what is and isn’t appropriate. Instead, they should be guided by the residents themselves, and they should create an environment where residents feel they can safely explore their sexuality. Sexual expression can help to relieve feelings of anxiety and loneliness, as well as improve mental health. It can also help to strengthen social connections, as sexual activities often require another person to participate. There is also evidence that sexual activity can reduce the risk of developing conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s.
The potential drawbacks of restricting sex and intimacy in care homes
While it is important that care homes create an environment where residents feel able to express their sexuality, it is also important that they take steps to protect residents who may not be able to consent to sexual activity. Any sexual activity in a care home must be consensual, and it can only occur when all parties are fully informed and able to give their informed consent. It’s important that care homes don’t impose their own definitions of what is and isn’t appropriate. Instead, they should be guided by residents’ definitions of what is and isn’t acceptable. There are also potential drawbacks to restricting sex and intimacy in care homes. If residents feel as though they are unable to express their sexuality, it can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress, as well as feelings of disconnection from other people.
Guidelines for care homes on how to support sexual expression
Sexual expression can take many different forms, and it’s important that care homes create a safe, accepting environment that allows residents to explore their own sexual needs, desires, and boundaries. This can include creating a sex-positive culture in which residents feel able to talk about their sexual needs, providing sex therapy and counselling, and offering activities that allow residents to explore their sexuality. Sex therapy and counselling have been shown to be effective in reducing feelings of anxiety and loneliness, as well as improving mental health. Activities that allow residents to explore their sexuality can include sex education classes, ZEGG Forum, arts and crafts related to sexuality, and even yoga. These activities can allow people to explore their own sexuality and the sexuality of others in a safe, non-threatening environment.
How to create an open, accepting environment
An open, accepting environment is the first step towards allowing residents to express their sexuality. This can include creating a culture where residents feel able to talk about their sexual needs and desires without fear of judgment, providing sex therapy and counselling services, and offering activities that allow residents to explore their sexuality. It can also include the way the care home is designed and decorated. Spaces such as communal areas, gardens, and dining rooms should be designed to be accessible, tactile, and designed for all abilities. For example, tables may be lower than usual, and there may be pathways that allow wheelchairs to pass through. Care homes can also create an open, accepting environment by ensuring that all staff receive training on sexual expression, sexuality, and consent. Staff should be able to provide support and guidance to residents who are exploring their sexuality, and they should be able to refer residents to sexual health services and support networks, if necessary.
Policies and procedures to ensure safety and respect
While it is important that care homes promote an open, accepting environment in which residents feel able to explore their sexuality, they must also ensure that they have robust policies and procedures to protect both residents and staff. Care homes must create policies and procedures that allow residents to talk about their sexual needs and desires, while also protecting them from harm. Staff must also receive training in sexual health and consent, as well as victim identification. When developing policies and procedures, care homes must take into account their legal obligations. This includes their duty of care towards residents, their responsibilities under the Sexual Health and Wellbeing (SHaW) Code of Practice, and the need to avoid discrimination and provide equal access to services.
How to navigate potential issues surrounding sex and intimacy
It’s important that care homes are prepared for issues that may arise surrounding sex and intimacy. This can include residents who are engaging in sexual activity without the consent of other residents, or residents who are being coerced into sexual activity. Both of these issues are examples of sexual misconduct, and care homes must take steps to protect residents from these issues. In the first instance, staff should investigate what’s happening to see if action is required, and if so, they must take action as soon as possible. If a resident is being coerced into sexual activity, staff must try to identify who is responsible for the coercion and take action against them. This may include suspending or dismissing the person, or referring them to the police if appropriate.
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Steve Schafer is the founder of TheEulogyWriters and the author of hundreds of heartfelt, wonderful eulogies. He lives in Michigan and has been writing eulogies for well over thirty years. The articles in this blog are designed to help people through the process of losing loved ones and exploring issues in the aging process.
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